Hello Everyone!

I'm back! I'm sorry these updates are coming so slow. I'm back in class and have a big research project to do this quarter. I'll keep them coming as quick as I can and I appreciate your patience.

Anywho, like I said last time, this was kind of an awkward time in the game, so I kinda feel this chapter is a bit awkward as well. I kind of just needed to get it out of the way. I decided against the "smut" as I felt it didn't really fit in. Maybe it'll work better later ;)! I did however include a bit of Kali's take on the last interaction with Cullen, so I hope you enjoy that. I felt her thought process was needed.

Hope you enjoy it regardless that I feel it's not my best chapter, but whatever!

Thanks!

RussianBear27

PS The song for this chapter (mostly for between Cullen and Kali) is "Set Fire to the Third Bar" by Snow Patrol

Chapter 17

She wanted to be angry with him, because it seemed she was being torn apart on the inside. When Kali returned to her apartment after her evening visit to the Gallows she felt as if the world had began to crumble beneath her feet. Bethany was gone, and even though Kali knew her friend had merely been taken to the Kirkwall Circle, it felt as if she had died. Even knowing Cullen wasn't directly responsible couldn't fully quell her anger. As she waited for him, with no guarantee he would even come, she fought an internal battle trying to place the blame on someone or something.

When Cullen knocked on her door a couple hours later, she was no closer to resolving the turmoil within her. Seeing him again, she wanted to blame him. It would be easy he was a powerful Templar, after all. Then with all after all his talk of the Order and the Chant, it felt like one big excuse and Kali nearly completely lost herself to her anger. It wasn't fair, he could talk all he wanted of the Maker and the Chant, but Bethany was gone.

"What would you have me do?" he asked her. "I cannot rewrite the Chant of Light nor reform the Templar Order." The defeat in his voice and his eyes was obvious, and Kali suddenly regretted her words. Not in the sense that she didn't mean what she said, but she realized her anger was wholly misplaced. She, like Garret, had fallen into the trap of lashing out at those closest to her. The hypocrisy of her actions struck hard.

"I just wish there was something we could do," she relented after apologizing. Her knees shook beneath her and she sat down in the closest chair, her face in her hands. This was so much bigger than the two of them, and the impossible scope of the reality of the problems sunk in. She was one woman, an elf and a mage. He was one man, a human and a Templar. It seemed everything in her life was set up to be at odds creation havoc. It all seemed hopeless and stupid.

Then Cullen took her hands into his, and none of that mattered anymore. He asked her to trust in the Order for time being. Kali didn't trust the Order, but she trusted Cullen and she was willing to put the issue to rest for the time being. The man in front of her only wanted to do the right thing and she loved him for it.

He pulled her into an embrace promising to never let her go, and Kali wished they could stay like that forever. Inside she was mess of emotions, and the world seemed to be falling apart around her, but with Cullen she felt sure and safe. The world and its problems could wait.

When he kissed her, she felt the rush of heat race across her skin making her hair stand on end. At the back of her mind was a fear he would rush off as he had previously. Before she let things move further, she asked him to stay. She couldn't stand to watch him walk away this time.

"I promise, I will never leave you again," his words seemed to ring in her ears. It was all she needed to hear, and when their lips met once again she could hardly contain her elation. They had found their way to her bedroom, riding a wave of passion. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt like this, felt so alive. Tonight they were together, and she would make it last as long as she could.

Kali hadn't noticed she had fallen asleep until she was roused by Cullen's gentle nudges in the early hours of the morning. Blurry eyed, she looked up at him and barely registered his goodbye before being claimed again by sleep. It wasn't until she woke up the second time did she realize he'd gone.

She sat up in bed trying to piece together the night before, wondering if maybe it had all been a dream. Looking around her dimly lit room she saw her nightclothes, that had been carelessly tossed aside in desperation the night before, were folded neatly on top of her dresser. Kali smiled to herself, imagining Cullen folding her clothes before returning to the Gallows. Only he would have thought to do such a thing.

Slipping out from beneath her sheets, she pulled her robe off the hook on the wall and put it on. Ander's clinic was dreadfully understaffed and she had promised to help. Even if she was nowhere close to his level of healing abilities, a promise was a promise.

Wandering into her living area, she saw a small slip of paper on the table. Picking it up she saw it was note written in Cullen's carful hand.

Kaliana,

I am so sorry I have to leave without a proper goodbye, but I suppose we both know that is the way it must be for now.

I love you. I will see you again soon.

Yours,

Cullen

The smile that crept across her face was tenacious, and stuck with her the rest of the morning.

The following years brought a lot change to Kirkwall. The Qunari who had been stranded in the city began branching out into the city. Kali watched as their influence spread into Low Town and the Alienage. Many of Kirkwall's oppressed sawy the Qun as a means to escape their desperate circumstances. Though concerning, the conversion were not large enough in number to trouble the wider city. It seemed no one cared if a few elves and vagabonds surrendered their lives to the Qunari's strict way of life.

In the Gallows, the changes were gradual, but they did not escape the ever-watchful eyes of Anders, Kali, and the other apostates. Knight-Commander Meredith seemed to be tightening her grip over the mages, cutting off nearly all contact between the Circle and the city of Kirkwall. Only an increasing number of tranquil ever seemed to leave the Gallows, and they left only to sell their wares or work for the Templars.

Kali had tried to ask Cullen about the issues, but he only ever said that Knight-Commander Meredith was doing what was best for the city. They had fought over it many times, until Kali realized that Cullen didn't actually know what was going on. He was either being kept in the dark or something more sinister was at work. Still, Kali couldn't help but feel he was turning a blind eye towards the blight of the mages. At the end of one particularly heated argument, they had agreed not to discuss the issue further. The truce brought peace to their relationship, but both knew there was a storm brewing just beneath the surface.

Otherwise, the hardest part about being a mage carrying on with the Knight-Captain was the difficulty of finding time to be together. Going weeks without seeing each other in person was hard, but Cullen wouldn't spend too much time away from the Gallows without arousing suspicion. Kali going to Gallows to see him was out of the question. Thankfully, Kali's dream abilities gave them a private method of seeing each other.

Garrett moved into a new home in High Town, buying back his family's estate with the riches he brought back from the expedition. Things were tense between Garrett and Kali for some time, but they eventually settled back into their easy friendship. Recently, Kali had been splitting her time between Ander's clinic, Harel's shop, and jobs with Garrett.

Her life had become a whirlwind of work, but Kali preferred it to her empty home and lonely nights. The city always had something to offer to keep her mind off of her troubles. Trouble was certainly brewing in Dark Town as Anders was looking into the amassing amounts of Tranquil in the city.

"Something is very wrong," Anders muttered to Kali one morning.

"Something is always wrong," Kali reminded him. Her friend had become increasingly disturbed over the last few weeks, almost to a point where it distracted him from his work in the clinic.

"It's something big this time," Ander pressed. "There are Tranquil everywhere now. Something is going on, I've never seen them in such great number at any circle."

"It is concerning," Kali admitted, "ever since that night in the Chantry things have been different."

"Exactly. I've gotten word from a few apostates who have managed to escape the Gallows that something is going on. Unfortunately, no one seems to know exactly what it is." Ander's grim expression morphed into a smirk, "has the dear Knight-Captain said anything?"

"No," she said simply, her cheeks reddening. "We don't talk about mages or the Order."

"I suppose I could see how that could be a source of tension between the two of you."

"That doesn't even begin to cover it," Kali sighed.

Kali could feel him watch her while she fold bandages with trembling hands. "Are you two okay?" he asked with genuine concern.

"Yes, I think so," she sat down in a nearby chair. "It's been three years and you would think we'd have it figured out by now. I know he wouldn't lie to me, if he knew he would tell me. Yet, I don't think he wants to know. He wants the Order to be good, and its actions justified. He would rather look the other way than admit otherwise."

Anders sat down across from her, "we both know something big is happening. I cannot stand by and watch good mages, good people, be treated so heinously."

"Nor can I," Kali said firmly.

After thinking for a moment, Anders spoke, "There is a group of mages trying to escape the Circle tonight and we can help them."

Kali looked at him, a smile across her face, "I'll get Hawke."

The mission was a disaster. A group of Templars had found the mages first and a fight was unavoidable. In the end four Templars were dead, and one of the three escaping mages had fallen in the fight as well. In her years since leaving Kinloch Kali had see so many die at her hand and at the hands of others. It didn't get any easier.

Crouching down she looked over the young face of the dead mage. She was little more than a girl, maybe sixteen. Her brown eyes were wide and lifeless, staring into nothing. Gently, Kali closed her eyes hoping that maybe the girl found some peace. Standing up, that hope turned to anger at the senseless loss of life. Turning she looked upon the faces of the Templars who had fought them.

The sight of their armor made her skin boil, a symbol of oppression. Then she looked over their faces. One Templar in particular was younger than the rest, barely of age to don the armor. His chest plate gleamed brighter than the others, having never seen use in combat. Next to him, lay the body of their officer. An older man who had surely seen many a battle. His skin was worn and lined by age and lyrium use. When the young Templar had fallen, the officer had flown into a rage and charged Garrett. It took three bolts from Varric's crossbow to bring him down. The bolts stuck out of his body at odd angles.

Kali's mind raced, trying to make sense of the whole scene. A mage was dead for the crime of freedom. Yet, four Templars had also met their end fighting for what they believe. Manipulated by corrupt Chantry that held their leash, telling them their cause was just. There was nothing just about this. Unable to look any long, Kali joined her companions who were speaking to one of the surviving mages.

"Tranquility is becoming more and more common," the surviving man explained. "I've seen mages who have passed their Harrowing turned tranquil, with only the slimmest of explanation."

"It's worse than we thought," Anders breathed looking to an infuriated Hawke.

Keeping his anger in check Hawke only said, "come, we will get you out of the city."