Hello!

I'm back with a Cullen chapter! It was longer, but I decided the split the chapter up. This chapter felt like it need to be on its own as it really sets Cullen up for the rest of the story and distances him from DA2 Cullen. He was such a dick in DA2, well he was in my opinion. Anyway, I hope you like it. I have a good idea of where I'm going from here, so it shouldn't be too long before another update.

Also, for this chapter I've been listening to a lot of the newest Monsters and Men album. Their song "Hunger" really fits this chapter I think.

Thanks again for reading!

RussianBear27

Chapter 18

Cullen lay half awake in his room, wondering if tonight he would once again be plagued by nightmares or if Kali would come to rescue him once more. He still feared falling asleep most nights with the uncertainty that surrounded it. Fortunately, his fears tonight were unfounded.

She was waiting for him by the lake, sitting on a swing hanging from a great oak tree that seemed to grow into infinity. A smile spread across her face as she looked over her shoulder at him. Getting off the swing she met him on the shores of the placid lake. Pulling her into his arms, he breathed in the scent of her hair. Even now, after years of dreaming with her, he marveled at how real everything seemed.

"I've missed you," he murmured and kissed the top of her head.

"Well maybe you could come see me sometime you wouldn't miss me as much," she half jested. "I don't remember the last time we been together in person."

"I'm sorry. I know. I just haven't been able to get away without raising any suspicion."

"There's always the Hanged Man," Kali looked up at him. "Thrask always loves an excuse to go. We could… accidently run into each other, perhaps?"

Cullen smiled, "perhaps that could be arranged." He brushed a stray lock of hair from her eyes. There was something in her eyes, something she wasn't telling him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he could tell she was lying. He eyes always gave her away.

"Kali, what is it. I can tell something is wrong," his smile was gone.

She pulled away from him and looked out over the lake. Her hair floated softly in the breeze, her delicate pointed ears disappearing and reappearing in its gentle dance. Watching her, he knew she was trying to find the words to tell him. Whatever it was it really had her worried.

"Kali, you can tell me anything," he reminded her.

"No," she said flatly, "I can't."

Placing a hand on her shoulder, "what do you mean?"

She took a deep breath as if preparing for the worst. Cullen bolstered himself awaiting this terrible revelation.

"Do you remember the boy you brought to the Circle a few years ago? The boy with the bear?"

"I do," he realized why she had been so reluctant to say anything. Speaking of mages and Templars was a topic they had put to the wayside long ago to keep the peace.

"I saw him today. In the market," her words were steady and sure, but she was choosing them carefully. "Well, I saw what was left of him."

"What?" Cullen was genuinely confused. "What are you talking about?"

Kali looked at him, fire in her eyes, "he was tranquil, Cullen. He's not even fourteen. Not even old enough to understand the world, let alone himself. How can they do that to a child?"

Cullen couldn't meet her eyes, "there has to be reason. Maybe…"

"What reason could be good enough for that?" The once still lake stirred with her outburst. "Even if he chose to become tranquil that choice was always left until they are of age."

"Every mage is threat and if he posed a threat, then it is better for it to be dealt with early," Cullen sputtered.

She stared at him, mouth open in disbelief, "how could you? How can you be okay with this?" The dream around them seemed to shake from her anger. The lake boiled, and the oak tree bent itself into twisted knots. It was if it was all going to crumble around them, but then suddenly everything was still. "You're just as bad as the rest." She turned and began walking away and Cullen could feel her pulling out of the dream.

"Kali, wait," he called after her. "I'm sorry. I didn't…" she kept walking. "We can talk about this. I… I'm sorry." It was too late. The once bright and calming atmosphere gave way to darkness. Cullen could only watch as she faded, the dream burning in her wake.

He woke before dawn, a weight on his heart. The dream was still clear in his mind, her words still rang in his ears. She had accused him, believing he was just as responsible for a mage's fate. Yet, as far as he knew, no such thing had taken place. She had to be mistaken. As Knight-Captain, nothing happened in the Circle of the Order here that he wasn't aware of. Every Rite of Tranquility had to get past him or the Knight-Commander. This had to be one big misunderstanding. At first light he would look into the matter himself and put himself and Kali at ease.

As Knight-Captain, Cullen was not as involved with the day-to-day tasks as the other Templars were. His role was mainly facilitation between the Templars and the wider world. Which meant going where Knight-Commander Meredith could not, and dealing with issues not important enough to bother her with. This mostly involved bringing in new mages, disciplinary actions within the Order and Circle, and a lot of paper work. This meant he had very little contact with the Tranquil, save for signing off on a few Rites after going through the investigation reports. He never liked signing them, but felt in most cases it was a necessary evil. Thankfully, he was rarely required to as the Rite was hardly used. Most were done by voluntary mages who chose not to go through their Harrowing.

Still, he felt he needed to put the issue of the boy to rest. Things would never bet okay with Kali until he got to the bottom of the issue. He started his search for the boy in the records. A file on every mage and Templar was kept in the Records Hall, which was more of a glorified closet. Cullen approached the old Templar sitting at the desk in the small room.

"Knight-Captain," the man struggled to stand up at his approach. He was long past his sword wielding days, but he still wore his Templar robes.

"At ease, Ser…" Cullen realized he didn't know the man's name.

"Ser Carver," the old man informed him.

"Ser Carver," Cullen continued as the man returned to his chair, "I am in need of the records of mage brought here a few years ago."

"Well you've come to the right place Knight-Captain," Carver smiled. "Who are you looking for?"

"A boy," again he didn't know the name. He had brought in a great number mages over the last few years and seldom learned their names. "He was from a village in Wildervale. Kormick, I believe it was."

"Well, that narrows it down," the man got out of his chair again, with great effort. He went to one of the many shelves that lined the walls and examined the labels. The man struggled with the dim light and his failing eyesight. Cullen waited patiently.

"Who am I looking for again?" Carver asked turning to Cullen.

"A boy brought in about three years ago from the village of Kormic," Cullen reminded him patiently. The old Templar was obviously beginning his descent from his years of lyrium use. It always started with short-term memory. Then inevitably, he would forget who he was and become a shell of his former self. It was obvious the man had been given the simple task of maintaining the records to keep him out of trouble.

"Ah yes," Carver huffed and turned back to the shelf. A few moments later he pulled a box off the shelf and rifled though its contents. Finally, he pulled a small file from the box, "I believe you're looking for Remon Lough." He handed the file to Cullen's waiting hands.

"Thank you," Cullen opened the file. Everything pointed to this being the boy he brought in those years ago. The personal belongings upon arrival even listed a stuffed bear. Reading further everything seemed normal. A small infraction a year ago when he accidently lit the curtains in the apprentice hall on fire, but other than that there was very little on his record. He looked to the last page where Harrowing dates and other rites would have been kept. All it listed was a date from several weeks ago next to Rite of Tranquility.

"I believe there are some missing pages in this file," Cullen told Carver.

"Is that so? That is all I have on the boy," the old Knight sat down in his chair.

"It can't be," Cullen wasn't blaming him. "It says here that he was made tranquil, but there is no investigation, no voluntary note, there's nothing."

Carver held out his hand, and Cullen handed him the file. The old Templar looked over the file, "it seems you are correct, Knight-Captain. It seems who ever had this done did not want anyone to look into it. Perhaps speaking with Remon will help clear things up."

Cullen nodded slowly, "thank you. I will do that." He turned and headed towards the Tranquil quarters, leaving Carver to his records.

He hated the Tranquil Hall. It was always too quiet, an eerie stillness always loomed there. Thankfully it didn't take long to find Remon. He was sitting on a bench staring at nothing, the stuffed bear he had brought with him years ago sat next to him.

"Remon Lough?" Cullen asked him, snapping him out of whatever he was doing.

Slowly the boy looked up at him with empty blue eyes, "yes, Knight-Captain?"

Seeing such a young boy as a Tranquil was deeply unsettling, but Cullen continued, "do you remember me?"

"I do. You brought me here from my former home," he said with a flat indifference.

"Yes, um," Cullen tried not to stare at the Sunburst burst on the boy's forehead. Shaking off his unease, he decided to be direct. "I found your file was incomplete in the records and I need to ask you why you were made tranquil."

"Oh, I was not progressing fast enough in my studies," came his monotone reply.

"What do you mean?" Cullen had never heard such a ludicrous reason for tranquility.

"I was not making adequate progress in several schools of magic. It was decided tranquility would be the best outcome for everyone. I remember being very afraid, but I'm not sure what that means." His eyes seemed to look right through him, deeply unsettling Cullen.

Wanting to move on from the topic Cullen pointed to the bear, "I see you still have your friend."

"Yes, I remember being fond of it," Remon said almost whistfully. "Do you wish to take it? I would prefer to keep it."

"No," Cullen said gently, "keep him close and don't let anyone take him from you."

Remon nodded his understanding, "is there anything else I can help you with, Knight-Captain?"

"You've been quite helpful. I do not need any more assistance, thank you," Cullen turned away and Remon returned to staring off into space.

A feeling of foreboding wormed its way into his stomach. Kali had been right about Remon, and everything Cullen believed about the order was beginning to crumble. How deep did this go? Who was responsible? He had so many questions and too few answers. As he left the Tranquil Hall he took notice of the sheer number of Tranquil there. He had been blind before, but now his eyes had been opened to the darkness that cast itself over the Circle.