Chapter 87

While the Men Are Away…

Holly's POV:

"What do you think they're doing?" I asked Angeline as we sat at the kitchen table, holding warm mugs of hot chocolate, though neither of us had taken a sip yet.

"Talking about you," she shrugged. Of course. She knew everything that went through her husband's mind. As she had told me, she was his other, better half. I just hope that one day Artemis and I can have a relationship like theirs…and that his father isn't completely insulting me right now.

"And what do you think they're saying?" I was curious. Artemis doesn't like to admit it, but he puts a lot of stock in what his parents think. Yes, his mom likes me, but if his dad doesn't … well, who knows where this could be going. I most certainly do not. Right now, I'm just hanging on for the ride.

She sighed deeply. "Enough about the boys. I want to talk about you and your relationship with my son."

Oh Frond. I took a deep breath to steady myself. Whatever she asks, I will try to answer as honestly as possible. After all, how bad can it really be? "What do you want to know?"

"You love my son." She said it so matter of factly. Juliet had felt the need to ask, but Angeline knew. Knew perhaps even better than I did. I suppose she had felt the same things that I was feeling now, and that she could see them in me.

"Yes, I do." It wasn't a question, but I wanted to answer. I wanted to scream it to the world from the rooftops. Artemis is mine, and I don't want to let him go. I won't let him go.

She smiled slightly to herself. "Love is wonderful. Especially first love. Especially with a Fowl." Her eyes traveled somewhere else. Somewhere with only her and 'Timmy'. "There's nothing like it anywhere, though I'm sure you've already figured it out."

How could I not? Artemis was everywhere. In my mind, in my heart, everywhere all at the same time, even when I closed my eyes he was there. "I have," I admitted.

"The best thing isn't the 'love' per say. It's the friendship, it's the companionship. It's having a person know everything about you and still hanging around for it. It's knowing that someone will sacrifice everything for you and being willing to do the same."

All of that was Arty and I to a tee. We were friends before all of this romance, and we're still that. Friends that make out heavily, but friends none the less. We do know each other. He even knows the things that I'm secretly ashamed of, but he never judges me for that. He may tease me, but he doesn't judge. All of the times that we had been in danger, he'd saved me and I'd saved him. It didn't matter that our lives were on the line. That's not what you think about at times like that. No, you only want your partner to live, your own safety be damned.

"I agree."

"And, of course, there's more to it than that."

More? What else could there be? "Such as?"

"Hot, passionate sex." She shrugged it off so calmly. Had I been drinking anything, it would have spewed out of my mouth and all over her face. Thankfully, I didn't have anything inside of my mouth.

"Excuse me?" Maybe I had misheard that. Maybe, I was just being extremely dirty minded.

"Oh you heard that right. Hot. Passionate. Sex." Or maybe I was not nearly as dirty minded as … Arty's mother. Well, obviously people are neverexactly what you expect them to be. "Love requires a strong physical attraction."

What was I supposed to say to her? Luckily for me, she seemed to need no encouragement from me. "You can connect emotionally for ever, but if the physical doesn't click… well… it usually doesn't go anywhere and when it does it only ends in misery."

I nodded along. It seems like this was going to just stay right on the surface with no specifics, and that I could handle. But of course fate sees it as proper to make me wrong yet again.

"So, do you think Artemis is physically attractive?"

Artemis Fowl? Dark haired, pale, vampiric Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl who wore suits like they were custom tailored and made even the plainest clothes seem twice as expensive? Artemis Fowl with the smile that sent shivers down my spine? Did I think he was 'physically attractive'?

"I'd have to be blind not to." And I do pride myself on being able to see quite well.

"And have you ever wanted to…?" she trailed off.

My face was all of a sudden red and hot. We were not having this conversation. Once again, I didn't know what to say. Lie and deny that I had ever thought such a thing. Or tell the truth about just how much I dreamed and imagined his long lithe body over mine. "Mrs. Fowl, I'd rather not discuss that out loud."

She chuckled, used to having her way. And that's where her son gets it from. Although at times, I do appreciate his… persistence. "Oh Holly please. I want us to be close enough to talk about these things. Why the things I could tell you about Timmy. They'd curl your hair. Even now, I can't get him out of my head." I definitely know that feeling, and I can't say that I totally hate it all of the time.

"That's very nice. I do want to talk to you…." I think.

"But it's awkward," she giggled. "Yes I get it, and I'll try not to pressure you." Thank goodness, though I'm sure that she's not done with me yet.

For the next few minutes, Angeline busied herself with the food and mug. Soon after, she turned back to face me. "But there are a few things that you should know about Fowl men."

I wanted this. It was good to know just a little more about what I've gotten into from a woman who had been behind enemy lines. "Tell me."

She sat back down across from me, grinning slightly as her son did when he knew something that others didn't. "They're determined. Fowls always get what they want."

That I had noticed. After all, Artemis and I probably wouldn't have been together at all if not for his determination in proving that he felt the same. Besides, it had gotten us out of every scrape that we had become involved in. "I've noticed."

"They're clever. Clever enough to actually get what they want."

Hello, I'm dating Artemis Fowl. Clever is definitely something that I know all about. "I've noticed."

"They're proud. Extremely so. You'll find that almost anything can damage their delicate sensibilities."

Once again, that was extremely true. Artemis' pride in himself and his knowledge was often a contention point, though I must say that I wouldn't want him any other way. After all, who could tolerate a humble Arty? Even those words felt like an impossible oxymoron, disproved by each other. "Yes, I definitely see that."

"They're giving. To most, they seem to cleave to their money, but the majority of Fowls are rather free hearted when it all comes down to it."

I thought of Arty when I first met him at age twelve, I had thought he was a greedy narcissist. I was sure of it. Why else would he steal so much gold? But it turned out to be about getting his father back. About saving his mother's sanity. "I've seen it, and it's real." One of the realest things that I had ever seen.

"They're loving. Fowls tend to be just as passionate in love as they are in life, business, and lust. Because when they do love, they love with all that they have."

I had definitely seen that. Artemis would give his all to see me happy and enjoying myself. Ever since he admitted his feelings he's stopped holding out so much on his emotions. I find that sharing is so much easier to for him now. Though, he had by no means told me everything, and I didn't expect him to. "They do."

"They're jealous. No man likes to see another one touch you or make you laugh like he does, but Fowls are even worse. Trust me."

Jealousy? That was a Fowl trait that I was used to . "Oh yes, you should hear some of the things that Arty has been upset about." In one word, Trouble. In two, Trouble Kelp. In three, Trouble Kelp's face.

"Oh sweetie, you don't have to tell me. You'd be surprised by some of the things that Timmy would do in his younger days." She laughed, and I shuddered. No thank you to that. I doubt I'd be able to sleep if I heard even a bit of that conversation.

"I can only imagine."

Her tinkling laughter filled the room. "They're eager to please. They'll never admit it, but they want to make you happy and proud of them."

"That they do." Artemis has never disappointed me; he always comes through in the end.

"They're different. You can search the world above and below, but there's no one quite like a Fowl man. Trust me, they'll never cease to amaze you."

That I definitely believed. No matter how deeply I dig, there's always more underneath it all. All of the men that I saw daily were nothing like Artemis. He was proudly, uniquely timeless, one of a kind. "Is annoying one of these traits too?" Because Artemis definitely had that one in spades.

"At times," she chuckled. "They're also all very…well endowed." she winked.

Endowed? Well endowed? And this was by human standards imagine what it is by elf standards. That would be massive. Ugh, forget I just thought that. I am not thinking about this size of his… endowment. That it not going to keep me up at night and haunt my dreams. I refuse to let it.

"Oh yes, very large by standards. Not to mention the stu…"

"Stop!" I cried out louder than I meant to. Honestly, I didn't want to hear any more about anyone's endowments today. Ugh, no more thoughts. Just clear my filthy mind.

"Okay, but there's one more important thing that you should know about Fowl men…"

It sounded important. Very much so, though I probably don't want to hear it. Unfortunately my curiosity is much stronger than reasonable thought. It's times like this that I wish I was more like Arty. "What is it?"

"All Fowl men are kinky in some way or another. Each one has something above and beyond the normal that they appreciate in bed. For example, Timmy…"

"NO! I don't need to hear any more. I'd prefer to save my innocence."

"Innocence?" she latched on like a rabid dog, refusing to stop for even a breath. "Awww, you're still innocent. Just as much as Artemis, aren't you?"

A blush spread across my face. My virginity was not something that I would talk about with anyone. Especially not my boyfriend's mother. Especially not the mother of the boyfriend that I wanted to… yeah with.

Thankfully, she took pity on my absolute humiliation. "Okay, I understand that you don't want to talk about that right now. And I promise we'll change the subject after just a few more questions."

"Anything to change this conversation."

"You're obviously fertile."

"Sort of…"

Her blond brows raised. "What do you mean?"

I fought the urge to lick my lips, not wanting to smear the lipstick that Juliet had so painstakingly applied. "Elves are only able to reproduce once every ten years." Thank Frond. I couldn't imagine being fertile once a month like human women. That had to be maddening.

"Lucky," she grinned. I could tell that she was trying to stave off the strangeness of the situation. Not so surprisingly she did very well with it, a Fowl through and through. "When were you last fertile?"

And this is exactly what I thought I would be talking about today. "Two years ago. I won't have to worry about anything for another eight years."

"Lu-ucky," she whistled. "Alright one last question."

Anything to end this humiliation that had to be kin to the tenth shade of hell. "Go for it."

She stood up, bending over backwards to touch the floor. "Are you flexible?"

I was spared from answering by the door springing open. Artemis looked at me, his mismatched eyes only making my face redder as I thought of all the things that Angeline had told me.

She giggled as she stared between the two of us. And Artemis only looked confused. Thank goodness he can't see inside of my head right now.

"Hello," he smiled, sitting next to me and wrapping his arms around my shoulders. In spite of myself, I leant into his warmth taking pleasure in every second.

"Aren't they just adorable?" Angeline cooed.

"Incredibly so," Timmy agreed. "Though they should also be preparing to leave. They'll be late to the Debs if you don't."

"The Debs?" I asked.

Of course, Artemis took up his usual role of interpreter for the masses. "Yes, the Debs is the traditional Irish version of prom that used to be known as 'Debutante' which was a coming out party for young women of an appropriate age to enter society."

"So, why would you call it prom instead and are any girls 'coming out'?"

"Clever girl," Artemis Sr. chuckled.

"The boy over the Debs committee this year is an American. With a little convincing and bribery the youth committee convinced the board to pay for an Americanized version. And no, girls from our sister school do not come out at public ceremonies such as this any more. Those who still participate in the older ways prefer a large, extravagant private ceremony."

I shrugged. It wasn't like I had any say in anything. "Okay. It works for me."

"Me as well." He stood quickly offering a hand down to me. "Now, if you're ready, we can leave."

I took the hand and allowed him to gently pull me to my feet. Suddenly I remembered the manners that Artemis always attempted to pound into my brain. "Good-bye. Mr. and Mrs. Fowl. It was nice to see you again, and nice to meet you, Mr. Fowl."

"Angeline and Timmy," Timmy chided gently. "And it was nice to meet you too."

Angeline had to get her hug, but all too soon, we were out the door. It felt surreal, the two of us arm in arm, walking down the front steps of the manor and into the silver car that I loved so much.

"Onward ho!" I called as Artemis pulled onto the open road.

"Something has you rather excited," Artemis commented, a smile cloaked in his seemingly severe tone. As if he could fool me. No, by now he is almost predictable.

Ah, he didn't even know the half of it. "How could I not be? I get the night out with my almost amazing boyfriend."

"And I get to spend the night with my beautiful, talented, strong, and insulting girlfriend."

What more could either of us want? A smile adorned said boyfriend's face. I couldn't resist the returning smile that spread over my own. The road whipped past us. I didn't know where we were going, but knowing the of Artemis' grandiose nature, it was going to be extremely nice and extremely expensive.

"Hey Arty?" I asked out of curiosity. "What do you keep in your glove compartment?" Lili had made the point of telling me that you can tell a lot about a man by what he keeps there. And in a way, it makes sense. What do you put in a place where no one else will see? What part of yourself do you hide from others?

His eyes darted to me, and then back to the road. "Nothing of importance." 'Nothing of importance'. Hmm, that seemed almost too nonchalant.

"Hmmm." That was probably him suggesting that I attempt to leave it alone, but I'm Holly Short. Curiosity just happens to be my middle name. "Can I look inside?"

"I don't see why you'd want to, but be my guest."

I opened it and the first thing that I saw was a picture of us. The picture that the woman had taken all those months ago when we were 'just friends'. "You actually kept this?" I suppose I had assumed that he had laughed and tossed it in the garbage because he thought it was silly, but it was here.

"Of course. I have other pictures of the two of us, but that happens to be my favorite."

Mine too, though I'd never tell him that. "Why do you keep it there?" In other words, why was he choosing to hide it in the dark?

"I have another in my wallet, on my desk, and in my bedroom. I suppose I keep it around because at times I just need something to smile about."

Something to smile about. This thing that we had made him happy too, just that thought made me smile.

I held the picture as I pulled through the rest of the items. Copy of license, registration, and insurance. And at the very bottom a small, blue packet. My eyes darted away before I made out anything embarrassing such as the size. "Artemis, you got some splaining to do…"

His eyes flickered over to me, and a blush colored his pale cheeks. I could tell he felt humiliated, and I must say it felt sort of nice to see that it was someone else for a change. Now, I can appreciate why my dear friends get so much pleasure out of this sort of thing. "My father."

"Ah, and does he think…?"

"He hopes."

"And do you?"

"Holly, I am a gentle man." He sounded offended, but he had neither agreed nor declined. And as he always says, he is a gentleman, but also a normal teenager. Hmmm…

The two of us rode in silence. I suppose I was wondering what his silence meant while he was most likely doing the same.

When he did speak again, it was just to say. "Here we are."

We were pulling into a large hotel known as 'Bella noche'. Beautiful night. Looking around, it seemed to be an apt description. The large building glinting from all of the lights that adorned the building and the garden. The dark sky full of beautiful, white, twinkling stars.

"Are you ready?" he asked yet again.

"Are you?" I countered.

He smiled easily, his eyes shining as he helped me out of the car. "My dear, I was born ready."

A/n:

Yay! Another Chapter Down! It's almost over. Can you believe it? I'm conflicted knowing that there are only three chapters left to go.

Rest assured that I will update as much and as quickly as I possibly can. If you guys remember I wanted to be finished by July 10th, but I was at a camp. By now I'm sure you've all realized that I'm awful at making deadlines and keeping them. This time I'm going to be realistic. I want to be finished eventually. Hopefully, before my summer ends, but no promises.

By the way, I just finished Artemis Fowl: The Last Guardian, and it was extremely amazing. (WARNING: TLG TELLS ABOUT MY EMOTIONS, BUT NO REAL INFO.)

Okay, so imagine an emotional roller coaster taking you from your highest point to your lowest before plunging you into a deep chasm of utter despair. And eventually a small glimmer shines down before becoming a blossoming corona of brilliant shines on your darkened world, and you smile again. Or at least that's how I felt. Anyway…. READ IT!

Keep reading and I'll keep writing. Oh and review. Flames are welcome. They're what keep me warm and toasty at night. ;)

Remember: Reviews = happy camper. Happy camper = quicker updates. Quicker updates = you reading more. It's a cycle. Keep it going!

Yours truly, madly, and deeply,

Einstinette