Fragile
2
by
Trycee
Time-Line: Alternative Universe. Season 6. After Milagro and before the Unnatural.
Disclaimer: This is written for fun not profit.
The Metropolitan Police were at Scully's door when they arrived. Scully glanced at them briefly as she reached for her keys. Mulder recognized Detective Krane but not the other Uniformed cop that was with him.
"I realize she just got out of the hospital but we never got her statement," Detective Krane spoke.
Mulder nodded just as Scully pushed open her door. She turned to the officers, "Well, come in..."
They entered first and looked around at the comfortable apartment. "Is this a three bedroom?", Detective Krane asked as he looked around.
"No," Scully said, hanging up her coat as Mulder followed closely behind her to the couch. "It's a two bedroom suite. There's two suites on every floor."
"Nice," Detective Krane said, as he looked about. "Probably the nicest place I've seen in D.C."
"Could we get on with this," Mulder interrupted. "She's tired. She's had a long day."
Scully glanced up at Mulder. He was aggravated and growing more by the minute. "Would you all like something to drink?", she asked.
Detective Krane shot a look at Mulder before answering. "No, no...Let's get started."
Mulder watched as Scully seated herself at the end of the sofa. He sat near her in the armchair. Detective Krane sat down as the Uniformed Officer seated himself in the arm chair facing Mulder. "Okay. So we got the report from a Walter Skinner from the FBI who took your statement. This will probably just be a minute or two, Agent Scully. We won't take up any more of your time."
Scully looked at Mulder briefly and then back to Detective Krane. "Okay."
"When you saw the victim, when you first saw her, was she screaming? Was she waving her arms around?"
"No, I saw a man and a woman out of the corner of my eye and they were running towards me. They were waving their hands," she said, demonstrating. "And they were screaming and then she was in front of me. I saw the look in her eyes," she said, as Mulder gripped her hand. He could see her relax.
"I didn't see her until I hit her. This is different from anything I've ever been involved with," she said, looking at Mulder, she removed her hand and he sighed. "I've had to shoot and kill suspects in the line of duty but I've never had to look into a young woman's eyes that died without my sole intent of killing her."
Detective Krane closed his notepad. "You know, our precinct responded to about twelve calls to that address in the past three years. Mrs. Hutchings was occasionally off her meds, trying to commit suicide, throwing plates at her brother-n-laws head. She was in and out of mental facilities, or running in traffic in front of Fed Ex trucks trying for them to hit her. She laid down in the street the last time. We won't be bothering you any further, Agent Scully."
"Okay," she said.
"We'll see ourselves out."
They watched as the door closed. Mulder stood up. "Scully..."
"Stop!", she said, throwing up her hands. "I don't want to talk about it. And I know you are going to want to talk about it, Mulder. But, I'm going to take a bath. I need a bath."
Mulder stood with his hands on his hips as he watched her head towards her hallway. She disappeared into her bedroom and Mulder plopped down on the sofa, grabbing up the remote. He listened as the water turned on. He tried keeping his mind occupied as he watched the muted television screen, listening to the sounds she made in the distance. He turned towards the hall when he heard her coming towards him. "I'm going to bed, Mulder."
"I'm not going home, if that's what you think I'm gonna do."
"I know," she said. "Your choice, Spare bedroom or couch."
"Couch," he said, standing up and taking off his suit jacket. He tossed it over the side of the couch.
Scully grabbed it up and hung it by the door on the coat tree "Well, there's pillows and blankets in the closet."
Mulder walked up to her and Scully closed her eyes as he looked down at her. He reached out and placed his hand on the back of her neck. "Scully, are you okay?"
She opened her eyes and he could see a fresh set of tears that hadn't fallen yet. "I'm fine, Mulder. I'm fine..."
He groaned. "Scully, don't do that. Don't push me away. You just experienced a major trauma today and the last thing I want is for you to push me away and tell me you're fine."
"What do you want me to say?", she said, staring up at him. "That every second I'm not seeing the look in her eyes before I smashed into her? The look of her family as they stared at me. Dammit, Mulder, I'm a medical doctor and I was paralyzed. I couldn't even step out of my car to check on her. What if she were still alive? What if I could've saved her?"
Mulder grabbed her and held her tightly, his hand rubbing against her back. "From what I understood, Scully. She died on impact."
She pulled back from him. "That doesn't make me feel any better."
"I'm trying here. Trying to get you to respond like you normally would, Scully."
"What do you want me to say, Mulder?", she said, throwing her hands up. "That I'm not raked with guilt right now? That no matter how much you and Detective Krane try to tell me it's not my fault. ALL I KNOW IS THAT IT IS MY FAULT," she screamed.
"No, it's not," he whispered.
Scully shook her head and turned away. "Goodnight," she said, as she walked down the hall, slamming the door closed.
Mulder stared at the empty hall and then plopped down back on the couch. He unmuted the TV and then scanned until he came across the news.
"Alex Hutchings was a 30 yr old mother of one," the reporter said. "She was a widow and according to family and friends, she had a history of attempting suicide. She leaves behind a ten year old daughter," the reporter says.
Mulder watched as a relative appeared on screen. "I can't believe she's gone," he said, in between tears.
"What will happen to Alex's daughter, Faith?", the reporter asked.
"My wife and I will take her. We were practically raising her anyway. It might be hard though for her to look out and see the place her mother died everyday. We may have to move."
The reporter continued. "Your wife's sister was struck and killed today, accidentally, by an on-duty FBI Agent. Are you angry about that? What is your reaction?"
The man, Mulder recognized as having been on the sidewalk at the scene. "I'm not angry with her," he said. "I mean, I have moments where I get upset with her but for the most part, I'm angry at the system. We've been trying to get Alex help for years. She was in and out of mental institutions and no one seemed to help us. She'd threaten to kill herself on a daily basis," he said, staring up at the sky. "Damn her for doing this and leaving her daughter an orphan. And damn the Mental Health system that who would constantly throwing her back into our hands to deal with her fits and suicide attempts until she finally did it. She did it YOU BASTARDS!", he said, as the camera cut to a commercial. Mulder switched channels.
Mulder jerked awake. It took a moment for his brain to register where he was. He stood up and headed for the bathroom. He lifted up the lid and relieved himself. He flushed and turned on the faucet. He reached over and closed the lid of the toilet, assuring that Scully would not yell at him at least for that. He washed his hands and that's when he heard it. He pushed open the door of Scully's bedroom. He could see her laying in bed, dressed in her silk pajama suits, her blanket knocked off as she tossed and turned and mouthed, "No...NO. NO. Emily, come back! Come back, EMILY, DON'T!"
"Scully?"
"NO," she screamed. "There's a car coming! EMILY. Emily, NO!"
Mulder sat down on the edge of the bed and shook her "Scully?"
She jerked awake and sat up, gripping him around the neck. He could hear the quiet sounds that she made, a whimpering sound that she was trying to swallow down before it engulfed her. "It's okay," he said, squeezing her and drawing her closer. "That was just a nightmare," he said, flicking on the lamp beside her.
She stayed pressed against him as her heart raced. He waited until she had calmed down and then pulled back and kissed the top of her forehead. "Ssshh. Don't worry, I have you."
She sat there a moment, gathering her thoughts. "I saw Emily...and she ran out in front of my car," she said. "And I hit her and she flew up into the air. And she was lying dead in the street and I ran, Mulder. I ran. I turned and ran on foot away from her."
"Scully, it's just your unconscious mind processing images and memories."
She sat there sighing slightly as her eyes closed and then opened several times, as if she were trying to come to grips with her thoughts. "I don't think I can close my eyes again," she said, sadly. "But being awake is just as equally terrifying."
"Can I stay in here with you? Having someone near by may help," he said, glancing to the chair in the corner. "I'll sit in the chair."
"No," she said, shaking her head, sinking down in her bed and tapping the space next to her. "Right here. Please, Mulder."
He stood up and walked over to the chair and took off his shirt and tie. He slipped off his pants and Scully's eyes grew wide as she watched him. He laid all of his clothes out on the chair and his shoes underneath as neatly as he could. He was nervous. They'd shared a bed for a few days just months before and he had nearly lost his mind smelling the sweet scents of Scully. He'd sniffed the pillows that she had placed between them half the night but at some point, the pillows had found themselves on the floor, each and every time. The next morning, he had found himself spooned up to her, much to his enjoyment and horror. But this was different. She was in pain. She was vulnerable in away he had never seen her and never expected. Scully was his strength, the one that held him together. Mulder had never expected for her to be the one to fall apart. He didn't know in what way he could handle it except just to be there for her.
Mulder laid down in the bed, his nose overwhelmed with the various scents of Scully. He grabbed up the blankets, covering them both and was surprised when she curled up to him. He smoothed his hand in her hair and placed his hand on her shoulder, holding her as she laid on him. He stuffed his pillow behind his head and returned his hand to rest on her shoulder. He watched as her eyes fluttered until they closed and she was deep in sleep. He repositioned himself and placed his hand around her waist. It felt right. More than right. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.
The morning came with Scully's alarm jolting him awake. She looked at him shyly and he was sure he wanted to wake up to her forever. She lay on his chest and he watched as Scully quickly shot up out of the bed without a word. Mulder lay there a moment before he jumped up and slipped on his pants. Scully reappeared in the doorway and they stared awkwardly at each other. "I'll...", he said, gathering his shirt and tie, his pants still unbuttoned. "I'll...just...", he stammered, heading for the bedroom door.
After he had left, Scully opened her dresser drawers and grabbed her underclothes and walked back into the bathroom but was startled to find Mulder standing in front of her toilet with his back to her, flushing and zipping up. He turned and their eyes met again. He turned on the sink and washed his hands. "You have some of my old stuff here? I need some clothes?"
"I do," she said in a still small voice. "I was about to take a shower."
"Well, make it fast, we've got to get to work," he said, wiping his hands on his pants leg.
Scully sighed. He was standing right next to her bathroom towels.
"I'm not going to work today."
Mulder cocked his head to the side. "Scully, you've never missed work. I know yesterday was tough but we have a case."
She shook her head. "I need some time."
He placed his hands on his hips and sighed heavily. "Scully..."
"NO!", she said. "Please, Mulder, understand that I'm still trying to process yesterday."
"I've never seen you like this, Scully."
She threw up her hands. "What do you want me to say? "
He stood there a minute. "Do you want company? Or do you want..."
"It's okay, Mulder," she sighed. "I know when something happens I usually throw myself into work but this time is different," she said, looking up at him. "I usually have myself," she said, as he reached out and held her elbow. "But, right now, I feel like I don't have me."
Mulder shook his head, not understanding.
"Can I just have today off, Mulder?", she said, softly.
He sighed and then stepped back from her. "I'm gonna go home, shower and head into work, Scully. But, I'll call and check in on you throughout the day. Okay?"
"Okay," she said.
He gathered the rest of his clothes and headed out to the hallway. He could hear the click of the bathroom door. He sat down on the sofa and slipped on his shoes and then grabbed up his suit jacket. He looked once more at her apartment and the closed the front door behind him. His steps were burdened as he made his way back to his car. Nothing in their partnership or history had ever prepared him for this. She had suffered so much lost, her Father's, Sister's and her daughter's and yet she had never miss a day at work. 'I feel like I don't have me', she had said. He shook his head and then drove off towards Alexandria. He had an hour to get showered and dressed before he would be late to work without Scully.
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