Revised: 13/8/2012
Scene 12
MULCH: Shouldn't we wait for Arty?
HOLLY: Shut up
MULCH: You sound...
HOLLY: Shhh, I heard something.
Explosion. Holly, Mulch and Foaly get thrown of their feet. Holly's helmet gets knocked of her head.
OPAL: (over loud speakers) Holly dear, I thought you might like to know that I have little Arty and that weird girl too.
Holly, Mulch and Foaly run back to the room to see every thing the exact same.
VALKYRIE: Hey, you're back.
HOLLY: You're still here. (frowning)
SKULDUGGERY: It would appear so.
FOALY: Opal must be losing her touch.
MULCH: Quite a bit of her touch.
VALKYRIE: Can you untie us now?
HOLLY: I suppose so...
TANITH: I object!
Everyone turns and looks at her.
TANITH: I just felt like saying something. Untie us please.
SKULDUGGERY: I have said it once and I will way it again. You are so unprofessional.
Valkyrie laughs.
TANITH: (waves hand dismissively) Yeah, yeah, I know.
VALKYRIE: Can you untie us now?
Holly unties Skulduggery, Tanith and Valkyrie.
ARTEMIS: We will have to blindfold you to leave.
MULCH: Hey! I just had a great idea! Why don't these people help us find Opal? Since they're already here?
HOLLY: No.
ARTEMIS: Maybe... that's actually not a bad idea.
FOALY: That's the first good idea you've ever had.
MULCH: (turns to Holly) Sorry, you're out voted.
HOLLY: (scowl) Fine.
MULCH: Great. (Claps hands)
VALKYRIE: Wait, what are we doing?
MULCH: Helping us track down a very pretty evil deranged pixie.
TANITH: A pixie? Aren't they, like, little people with wings?
HOLLY: Mulch!
MULCH: (sheepishly) Sorry.
SKULDUGGERY: Okay, no more secrets. It will be easier for everyone. What are you really?
MULCH: I'm a dwarf. (Strikes a pose looking proud)
ARTEMIS: The rest of us are what we look like. A centaur, a criminal mastermind, and a bodyguard.
VALKYRIE: I'm a human. But I'm also an Elemental and Necromancer. Like so.
(Conjures flames in one hand and water in the other.)
TANITH: I'm an Adept. But I specialise in fighting.
SKULDUGGERY: (taps his collar and his facade melts off.) I'm a skeleton. And an Elemental.
FOALY: No. No, not possible.
ARTEMIS: How do you... with the fire and water?
VALKYRIE: Magic. (creepy smile)
HOLLY: (with a sigh) I'm really an elf.
SKULDUGGERY: (nods) Can we make a few phone calls? The more people you have the better.
HOLLY: No.
ARTEMIS: Actually, yes. I hacked into their phones so they won't be able to say anything suspicious.
HOLLY: (sigh) okay then.
VALKYRIE: (pulls out mobile and takes a picture sending it) Fletcher will be here shortly.
Fletcher appears.
FLETCHER: Hi.
HOLLY: Ah! D'Arvit!
FLETCHER: Come on, I don't look that bad.
VALKYRIE: Fletcher you idiot.
FLEACHER: I thought we agreed that I am not an idiot?
ARTEMIS: How does he do that?
VALKYRIE: He's a Teleported.
ARTEMIS: Meaning?
VALKYRIE: He can move from place to place without actually doing anything.
ARTEMIS: Right.
HOLLY: If we're all ready, let's go.
Valkyrie looks at Skulduggery.
VALKYRIE: Do we want Mr Bliss, China, Ghastly, anyone else?
SKULDUGGERY: China and Ghastly won't fight, but they might help. Mr Bliss might fight if we gave him something.
VALKYRIE: I think he'll help.
Skulduggery takes out his phone and rings Mr Bliss. A few minutes later, he hangs up.
SKULDUGGERY: Fletcher, get Mr Bliss.
FLETCHER: But-
SKULDUGGERY: Now.
Fletcher teleports, grumbling, then reappears with Mr Bliss.
HOLLY: D'Arvit!
MULCH: If you say that one more time, I am going to paint D'Arvit over your chest, in big capital letters.
HOLLY: It would not be the first time.
MULCH: What do you mean it would not be the first time.
HOLLY: Well I was on traffic duty and had a run in with a fish smuggler. Cutting a long story short. I got covered in gel swore just as the circet shorted out, so it was stuck on my chest.
MULCH: (eagerly) then what?
HOLLY: Root called me in for my test to join LEPrecon…
FOALY: (rolling on the floor laughing) I could just imagine Julius's face. You never put that in your report. Wandering around an island with D'Arvit on your chest. (Foaly laughs even harder)
FLEATCHER: What does D'Arvit mean?
ARTEMIS: It is the fairy equivalent to a swear word