Chapter 6
Sorry this took so long, this chapter isn't my favorite, but im excited about the next one. Read and Review!
It was time for Blaine to face reality, as much as could fantasize and delude himself; he would never be able to just be Sebastian's friend. He had tried, but he liked him too much. The more he was around him the harder he fell, but Sebastian would never be his. Sebastian would never leave Jesse; they were too entangled together. Blaine couldn't kid himself anymore. He needed to separate himself from Sebastian before he got too caught up in the boy's web to ever get out.
And thus began the worst week of Blaine's life, Blaine decided he needed to quit Sebastian cold turkey, which wasn't easy. Sebastian continued to text and call him all weekend, it wasn't until Monday when Blaine took back his old seat at the back of the class that Sebastian finally got the hint. The texts stopped, and by Wednesday, Sebastian no longer even spared Blaine so much as a glance when he walked into the room. As much as it sucked, this was better. Sooner or later the butterflies he got whenever he saw Sebastian would die and he would move on. At least Blaine hoped so.
It was Thursday, and the weekend couldn't come sooner. Blaine rounded the corner to go to his first class before stopping dead in his tracks. Sebastian stood leaning against the locker his arms crossed over his chest, his face set in a serious expression. Blaine stood silent, torn between greeting the boy and bolting in the opposite direction. Sebastian made the first move as always, pushing himself off the locker, not breaking eye contact with Blaine. "You're avoiding me," he stated.
"N...no I'm not." Blaine sputtered. Sebastian shot him a look that confirmed for Blaine how unconvincing he sounded.
"I don't get it. Did I do something? I thought we were good, clearly that's not the case because you've been dodging me all week. What's going on?" Sebastian seemed genuinely confused.
"Nothing, I just... I'm not sure us being friends is a good idea." Blaine admitted unable to meet Sebastian's gaze.
"Where is this coming from?" Sebastian further prodded, before a look of realization took over his face. "Jesse said something to you, didn't he?"
"No, that's not it." It wasn't completely a lie, Blaine reasoned.
"Then I don't understand."
"It's just..." Blaine couldn't think of what to say. He couldn't very well tell Sebastian he had a fat crush on him. "I think us being friends is just too...I don't want to cause problems." Blaine finally said not knowing what else to.
"So this is about Jesse." Sebastian sighed. "I know he talks a big game, but he's harmless. All bark and no bite." Blaine rolled his eyes. "Ok, so there's a little bite, but I'll talk to him."
"Really, Sebastian-"
"I want us to be friends." Sebastian persisted.
"Why?" Blaine asked unable to fathom why someone like Sebastian was so intent on being his friend.
"I don't know. I like hanging out with you." Sebastian stated simply.
"There are plenty of guys you could hangout with, you have a whole group of them that follow you around like disciples."
"I know, but they're all so boring...and stupid. You're different." This time it was Sebastian who dropped his gaze. Blaine felt his heart start to melt, filling up all the little cracks that had been formed on Friday. "I'll talk to Jesse, tell him to play nice." Sebastian looked up at Blaine hopefully, a smile blossoming as he saw the surrender in Blaine's eyes.
"Ok" Blaine relented. Sebastian grinned triumphantly back at Blaine, it was the first time Blaine had seen him genuinely smile, not just smirk, and the sight made his heart skip a beat. God, I'm in trouble… Blaine thought hopelessly.
"Great, let's go then." Sebastian said before grabbing Blaine's wrist and pulling him out of the front doors of the school towards the parking lot.
"Wait…what are you doing?" Blaine asked confused as his brain began to function again.
"We're making up for the week. Its too nice of a day to waist at Dalton." Sebastian called back over his shoulder as they approached his car.
"I can't ditch school to hangout, Sebastian." Blaine responded firmly.
"Oh come on, I think you can miss one day of school."
"What about Warbler practice? Jesse will skin me alive if I bail to hangout with you all day." Blaine argued.
"I'll take care of Jesse." Sebastian unlocked his car and climbed into the front seat.
"Sebastian…" Blaine said unsurely.
"Are you coming or not?" Sebastian called back, his smirk back in place. Blaine let out a heavy sigh, before getting into the car.
"Can I at least know where we're going?" Blaine asked as they sped down the street, Sebastian weaving between cars like he was some sort of racecar driver.
"Blaine, it is a beautiful spring day, the sun is shining, the birds are chirping and its unseasonably warm, and so we're going swimming at my lake house." Sebastian narrowly missed rear-ending a Buick as he cut off a navy minivan.
"I don't mean to disappoint you, but I don't exactly keep a spare pair of trunks in my backpack." Blaine said unconsciously grabbing the handle of the passenger door. "You know that was a stop sigh, right?"
"I paused." Sebastian defended, "And you can borrow a pair of mine. I have like a dozen up at the house."
"I don't suppose there's any use in arguing with you is there?" Blaine asked.
"There really isn't. I always get my way." Sebastian smirked.
"I'm sure you do." Blaine laughed quietly to himself, shaking his head.
"Blaine, get in the water! You've been tanning for over an hour." Sebastian called as he glided through the water.
"I'm fine where I am." Blaine called back from the dock, propping himself up on his forearms as he heard Sebastian climb out of the water. The sight before him was beyond words. Sebastian emerged from the water, his hair slicked back as tiny drops of water rolled down his chiseled torso, glistening against his skin like diamonds.
"Afraid you'll mess up your hair?" Sebastian laughed as he shook his head, water splattering everywhere. Sebastian's hair hung messily along his face, an effortless act for him, but the result was a styling most boys spent an hour trying to replicate in front of their mirrors.
"Do you know how long it takes me to get my hair under control, the slightest amount of moisture and it turns into an Afro, I'll look like Harpo Marx." Blaine responded.
"God, you're worse than Jesse." Sebastian laughed, flopping down on a towel next to Blaine.
"Not everyone can look so good so effortlessly. Those of us with curly hair have to put more effort in."
"I suppose." Sebastian murmured in agreement "But you should see the production Jesse goes through before he'll go out. He takes longer to get ready than Georgie."
"Yeah, he doesn't strike me as the low maintenance type." Blaine laughed, before worrying he'd over-stepped his bounds.
"You have no idea." Sebastian groaned. "One time I tried to hurry him up, the lecture he gave me…God, I thought it would never end. Ever since I've kept my mouth shut. Sometimes I wonder why I put up with his craziness." Sebastian laughed.
"You can't help who you love." Blaine said, trying to suppress the forlorn look on his face.
"I'd have to believe in love in order to be in love with Jesse." Sebastian stated.
"What do you mean, you don't believe in love?"
"Exactly what it sounds like."
"How can you not believe in love? It's not like Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. It's love! It's a universal truth, I mean God, the expression is called true love for a reason!" Blaine said baffled by how Sebastian could not believe in one of the most vital parts of life. It was like he had said he didn't believe in water or air.
"True love? That's an oxymoron if I've ever heard one. There is nothing more dishonest than love. It clouds people's judgment, makes them act crazy. Love isn't true. It makes people lie. It makes them destroy their lives and act like a crazy person. What people call love is just a chemical imbalance in their brains, a rush of endorphins that makes everything feel all warm and fuzzy. It's not real, and it sure as hell isn't honest. The whole thing is one giant hoax, a bunch of mushy blabber that is shoved down our throats from our first bedtime fairytale." Sebastian breathed out.
"You can't possibly believe that." Blaine said.
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't."
"But I mean, you parents must have loved each other…" Blaine couldn't grasp the fact that Sebastian could deny loves existence with such certainty.
"And a whole lot of good that did them, they divorced nine years ago." Sebastian sat up, looking off towards the lake, an unreadable expression on his face.
"Oh…" Blaine wanted to kick himself, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-"
"It's fine. It was so long ago it doesn't bother me. I never really got the whole boohoo broken home thing from it."
"Do you..do you want to talk about it?" Blaine asked feebly.
"There really isn't a whole lot to talk about. It's quite cliché really. Boy meets girl, they fall in 'love', get married, start a family and all that jazz. Then girl walks in on boy fucking his assistant, and happily ever after is cut short."
"That must have been terrible." Blaine said, wanting nothing more than to reach out to Sebastian and comfort the boy.
"I guess, I don't know. They didn't exactly have the best marriage up until that point. He was never around, and when he was all they did was fight. She had Georgie and me on a flight to Paris before the ink was even dry on the divorce papers. She got full custody, though I don't think he fought her very hard on it." The words were heart breaking, and what made it so much worse was Sebastian seemed entirely unaffected by it. Like he was just telling Blaine about some insignificant fact from a textbook.
"That must have been hard, going through the divorce and moving to a new continent all at once." Blaine knew he was prying, but he couldn't stop.
"Not really, not that much changed. I mean we hardly saw him before; afterwards it was a weekly phone call. I think we actually talked more than we ever had before. He used to have us come out one month out of the summer to stay with him in Manhattan. It was suppose to be our bonding time, but all it really was, was spending a month being babysat by his newest girlfriend until he shipped us back. It wasn't that bad though, Georgie and I got to run around the Upper East Side and do whatever we wanted. Then he moved to Ohio and it wasn't even worth the ten-hour flight, so I stopped going. Georgina was so mad; she still went the first year I didn't. Flew back a week later, after that it was just the phone calls." Sebastian sighed, picking at his nails.
"How'd you end up living with him than?" Blaine asked scooting closer.
"Umm…just complications, family stuff" Sebastian looked down. "I feel like I haven't shut up about myself all day. I should probably take you home." Sebastian swiftly got up, Blaine scrambled to join him.
"Ok, sure. It is getting late." Blaine looked at Sebastian, the beautiful boy and for a split second he saw it. That flicker in his eyes that showed the pain, the broken twisted pieces that composed him, and if it was possible Blaine fell even harder. But a briefly as they appeared, they were gone. Hidden once again behind his icy wall of indifference.
Jeff let out a heavy sigh as he saw Jesse stomping down the hallway towards him and Nick. "Be nice." Nick chastised quietly. "What's up, Jesse?" He asked as the brunette made his final strides over to them.
"Do you know where Sebastian is?" Jesse asked abruptly, too annoyed to deal with pleasantries.
"He's not here today, he texted me to tell Coach." Jeff answered.
"Well, it was nice of him to tell me." Jesse snipped. "Where you're little hobbit friend?"
"Blaine…didn't show up. He must be sick or something." Nick answered this time. "You know you really shouldn't call him that."
"Yeah, yeah…" Jesse waved him off. "So they're both not here?" Jesse felt an overwhelming emotion he couldn't quite place. Anger? Jealousy? Fear? Dread? He wasn't sure, but it made him uncomfortable.
"So it seems." Jeff drawled, before taking in Jesse's peculiar expression.
"Let all the Warbler's know we will be having an extra long practice today, we're doing a performance tomorrow." Jesse said, the wheels turning in his mind.
"We are? What for?" Nick questioned, but Jesse just turned around and sped off with out answering. "I hate when he does that." Nick pouted.
Sebastian pulled up next to the curb in front of Blaine's house. Blaine sate awkwardly, fidgeting with his seat belt as he tried to come up with the right wording for what he was going to say. "Blaine?" Sebastian questioned when the boy still had gotten out of the car.
"We're friends, right?" Blaine asked turning to look at Sebastian.
"Yeah…" Sebastian answered uneasily.
"So you know you can talk to me?"
"Sure." Sebastian responded, "Is this about what we talked about on the dock? Look, I already told you-"
"I know, and I'm not saying you have to talk to me about it, but if you ever wanted to, you can, ok?"
"I get that you have this white knight mentality, Blaine, that makes you want to go out fix all the broken toys, but I'm gonna tell you right now, don't waste your time. And if you're hoping we'll have some amazing heart to heart, and I'll share all my baggage with you, I wouldn't hold your breath."
"I still meant what I said earlier." Blaine said with a small smile, "I'll see you tomorrow." Blaine got out of the car, waving to Sebastian as he drove off. One of these days, Blaine was going to figure out Sebastian, he could only stay an enigma for so long.