ren-mccullers Thank you.
Shipper: I'm glad that you're enjoying it so far. I hope that you continue to. :)
Guest: Thank you.
saii79 I'm glad I got it sorted. Thanks. I'm glad that you like it. Thank you.
Shananigan I'm glad that you like it so far. Hopefully, you'll continue to.
nana31rauna Thank you.
CarmellaD'Winter Thank you.
Chapter Four
The short bus ride from the hotel to the pool where they would be competing was loud and boisterous, the girls on the team high on excitement and letting off steam. Paige, being the team captain was right in the thick of it. Emily sat by herself a few rows back from where the the others were gathered, soaking in the energy, but taking the time to psyche herself up for the day's races in her own way. She wasn't a senior, so this meet didn't hold as much pressure for her as it did for some of the other girls but there would be scouts there and it was an opportunity to make an impression, to show them what she could do.
"Everything all right back here, Fields?" Paige dropped suddenly into the seat beside her. "You don't need me to repeat my pep-talk again, do you?" She practically vibrated in place next to Emily as she gripped the seat backs for balance and turned to face her. Her face was flush with excitement, her eyes wide and sparkling, her grin broad and radiant. Emily couldn't help but smile back at her, her own nerves lifting for just a moment as she was infused by the other girl's energy.
"No. It's fine. I'm fine," she hastened to assure Paige as she noticed her smile slipping a little and the light in her eyes dim slightly. "I'm just nervous, I guess. And all this," she waved a hand to indicate the bus and the chatter from the team, "doesn't really help any. I'll be all right once we get in there."
She was always a wreck before a meet, tense and anxious on the ride to, but the momtent she stepped out onto the deck, got a glimpse of the still, blue water she was fine.
"Anything I can do?"
Emily shook her head. "It's sweet of you to ask, but no." She had her pre-race rituals, just like all the girls did. Once she had a chance to do them, she would be fine. Until then, she'd just have to sweat it out for a little bit longer.
It really did touch her, however, that Paige had thought to ask. That she'd noticed Emily's absence from the huddle.
Paige bit her lips as she cast a glance over her shoulder to the others and then back to Emily. "I could just sit here with you, if you'd like."
Emily would like that. A lot. More than she probably should, actually. But she could see in Paige's eyes the desire to go back and join the girls. To take part in that team-bonding that was so important before a competition. The laughter, the joking, the trash-talking before a meet bolstered in a sport like swimming where sometimes you were competing against each other. It was what fostered that team spirit and kept them cheering for each other, pushing each other to do better, even if sometimes that doing better meant that your teamate might do better than you.
As much as Emily enjoyed being part of the team, she'd never really fit in with the other girls. They were happy to have her on the team because she was good. Her winning helped the entire team's standings. And they were friendly enough. But she'd always felt like an outsider. She was aware of the fact that most of that was internal, her own insecurities and uncertainties about her sexuality had put a wall up between her and the majority of her peers but it didn't change the fact that she just didn't feel entirely comfortable with them. And it had only gotten more pronounced since she'd come out.
"No. You don't have to do that."
"I know I don't have to. But I'm happy to, if that's what you want."
Emily shook her head. "Thank you, but it's okay." She reached out and laid her hand over Paige's, and gave a gentle squeeze. She did it unthinkingly. It was a gesture she would use with one of her friends without a second thought. She was a tactile person. Whether from natural inclination or born of habit she was accustomed to using touch. It didn't mean any more to her than the words that accompanied it, but from the way Paige cleared her throat and shifted in her seat, her gaze lingering on their joined hands, it was clear to Emily that she'd crossed some sort of line.
Slowly she pulled her hand back and tucked it into her side, avoiding eye contact and trying not to feel stung. She didn't know why she was surprised. Paige had made it very clear over the past few months that she wasn't comfortable with Emily or her sexuality. A couple hours watching zombie movies and some inadvertant late night snuggling didn't erase that.
Yet, Emily couldn't help but feel that it did. It was Paige who had suggested the movie marathon. And Paige who had offered her a spot next to her on the bed. While Emily had been the one to initiate the cuddling, Paige had been the one who said it was okay to stay. And this morning when she was feeling emotional over her dad's phone call, Paige was the one who had touched her, had hugged her. Emily just couldn't understand why she was suddenly shying away from contact now when it hadn't bothered her before.
A roar of laughter made both girls startle and Emily glanced up towards the front of the bus, where the rest of the girls were doubled over at something. Her cheeks began to burn as realization hit her.
"I'm fine," she said, struggling to keep her voice steady. "Go back to the others."
Paige studied her for a long moment then nodded. "All right, if you're sure," she said, still sounding hesitant. But she stood and offered a small smile before making her way back up the aisle anyways.
Emily watched her return back into the fold then rested her head against the cool glass of the window and closed her eyes.
Emily didn't have much time to dwell on things before they reached the school that was hosting the meet and they were ushered into the massive sports complex along with the rest of the teams and spectators. She'd always thought that Rosewood had a pretty good athletics program and their facilities were top notch, but this place was as impressive as it was massive. She was in awe of the two Olympic size pools as well as the whirlpool, the lap pool and the state of the art work out room that they had passed on the way in. She didn't get much chance to marvel over it all though before she got caught up in warming up. Before she knew it, the races were starting and she was standing at the edging of the pool, cheering on her teamates with the rest of the girls until it was time to get ready for her first race. She slipped to the back of the crowd and shed her warm up gear then donned her goggles and swim cap. She did a few stretches and shook out her limbs as the race was called and then made her way back up to the edge of the pool.
"Good luck out there, Fields." Paige's voice was low and directly in her ear. The wam puff of air against the side of her neck sent a shiver coursing down her spine. As did the faint brush of Paige's hands against the small of her back. "Try not to drown on us, okay?"
Emily rolled her eyes and offered a slightly breathless laugh as she stepped up onto the starting block. She knew that there hundreds of eyes on her, but the only ones she could feel were Paige's, burning into her back as she got into position, tensing in anticipation of the starting pistol. It went off and she sprang forward. Suddenly the rest of the room fell away, her teamates, the crowd, Paige's watchful gaze, even her competition. It was all about her now, her breathing and the rythmn of her strokes, her body cutting through the water like a knife. She reached the far wall and excecuted her first turn, pushing off against the tile and propelling herself back down the lane with sure, powerful storkes.
She tapped the wall and bobbed up out of the water, peeling off her goggles to glance around in time to see the rest of the swimmers in her heat popping up out of the water as well. She glanced up to find her coach and the rest of her team milling around, grinning broadly at her. She felt a smile form on her own lips as she levered herself out of the water.
"Good job, Fields," Coach Folton said, patting her on the shoulder.
"Thanks, Coach," she managed to get out, before being swarmed by her team mates as they offered their congratulations in the form of fist bumps and shoulder squeezes. She accepted the small show of celebration with a pleased smile on her lips. She didn't often feel connected to the other girls on her team, but in these moments after a win, even just a small one like this, she did. She felt solidly and proudly part of the team, a part of something with these girls.
The next race was called and Emily used the opportunity to slip past the others to the bench where she'd stowed her gear. She toweled off quickly and had just pulled on her pants when a pair of arms encircled her shoulders and another body collided with hers, sending her stumbling backwards a few steps with a faint oomph.
"I was standing next to coach when you tapped in. She said that you beat your personal best by two seconds."
Emily grinned, not just at the words but at Paige's enthusiasm. She was always exhuberant at meets. Not one to give up an opportunity, however, she brought her arms up and wrapped them around Paige, pressing her hands into the other girl's back just below her shoulder blades and pulling her in, trying not to take note of how well their bodies fit together or how nice it felt to hold the other girl in her arms.
"But, still a second shy of yours, right?"
"Yeah, well, we can't all be as awesome as me."
"You're such a dork."
The hug had already lasted longer than was strictly neccessary, but Paige hadn't shown any signs of pulling away and Emily certainly wasn't going to be the one to break contact.
She felt Paige's hand slide gently up and down her back and she tightened her embrace in response. When she did, however, Paige tensed in her arms. Biting back a sigh, Emily drew away and stepped back. She shoved her hands into the pockets of her pants and glanced over at Paige, who was shifting back and forth slightly, arms hanging limply at her sides. An awkward silence hung in the air between them and Emily wracked her brain for something to say as she also mentally chastised herself for seemingly being unable to interact with Paige like a normal person.
She'd had crushes before, but never had they rendered her so incapable of basic human interactions, like knowing when to pull away from a hug or how not to make the object of her affections physically uncomfortable in her presence or not being so tongue tied.
"I'm on deck," Paige said after a moment. "So I should go get ready. But I wanted to say, great race."
"Thanks." Emily offered a small, weak smile. "Good luck."
This was the part where Paige would normally say something like "when you're this good, you don't need luck" or "good luck to the other other team, maybe. They're the ones who are going to need it." The cocky show of confidence tempered by the playful grin on her lips and the gleam in her eyes. Today however, all Paige did was nod once as she offered up a small smile and then step past Emily to make her way to the pool, leaving Emily to watch her walk away, feeling confused by the exchange.
After a moment she shook her head to clear it, pulled on her jacket and made her way back to the edge of the pool just in time to offer Liv, one of the freshman on her team, a sympathetic pat on the arm a she made her way out of the pool. The rest of the girls offered similar condolences as the next race was called and then turned their attention back to the pool as Paige took her starting position.
A hush fell over the crowd in anticipation of the start of the race and Emily felt herself growing tense in the silence. Her breath caught in her throat as the pistol went off and the line of swimmer dove into the water. She only had eyes for Paige, heart thumping a proud staccato in her chest at the way the other girl's body unfurled from the starting block to slice cleanly into the water with barely a splash. Around her, everyone was cheering loudly but Emily's voice was caught in her throat as she watched her team mate power through the water. Her eyes followed Paige's form as she reached the wall and turned, quick and clean, her lines smooth and fluid as she started back down the lane. It was only then that Emily allowed herself to take in the rest of the field, a small smile playing on her lips when she realized that, as they came to the second turn, that Paige was half a body length ahead of the others. It was only as Paige reached her final turn and began powering her way back towards them that she found her voice, cheering the other girl to victory.
Paige pulled herself out of the pool and the girls crowded around her, pats on the back, shoulder squeezes and hugs. Emily hung back, wanting to congratulate the other girl without making her feel uncomfortable in front of the others. She waited until Paige had made her way through the crowd to the team's bench before approaching.
"Hey, good race," she said softly as she reached Paige's side. Though she wanted to pull Paige into a tight hug, the way the other girl had done to her earlier, she refrained, making an effort to respect the other girl's boundries. Even if she couldn't quite figure out what they were. Every time she thought she had them nailed down, they shifted on her.
She couldn't help but reach out and give Paige's arm a gentle squeeze though. It was almost as if it's hand was moving on it's own accord, with no thought or direction from Emily's brain. The desire to touch her, even for a moment was just that strong.
"Thanks." Paige's grin was wide and easy as she curled her fingers around Emily's hand, squeezing lightly. She felt a small thrill at the contact. The other girl was practically bouncing in place, the excitement and adrenaline from the race evidently still coursing through her and Emily couldn't help but smile at the sight.
"We go head to head in the butterfly next," Paige said as she dropped her hand from Emily's and shifted away from her touch, turning to grab her clothes from the bench as she did so. Emily tried not to feel dissapointed. Or to notice that her hand cold now that the contact with Paige's skin had been broken.
"Yeah. I'm looking forward to it. I just really hope that you're not to worn out from this race."
Paige scoffed, a smile playing at the corners of her lips. "It was just a warm up. You're going down, Fields."
Emily felt her cheeks flush with heat at Paige's words taking them in a way that she knew Paige didn't mean. She shook her head, trying to clear it of the innapropriate thoughts and imagery that were starting to form. "Not to you, I'm not," she quipped, her own words only making her face flush further. She was greatful, as always, that her skin tone tended to hide her blushes.
Paige's eyebrow quirked and she pursed her lips in a smirk as she stepped closer, getting up into Emily's personal space in an attempt at intimidation. It ruffled Emily, but probably not for the reasons Paige was intending. All of a sudden she could feel the heat radiating off the other girl's body, could feel the warm wash of air against her lips every time Paige exhaled and it sent a shiver coursing down her spine and goosebumps trailing across her skin. She crossed her arms over her chest and tried to look unimpressed.
The two of them locked eyes in a staring contest, both of them doing their best to remain impassive, though Emily could see the faint glint of amusement behind Pagie's steely facade and she had to fight to keep her lips from tugging up into a grin.
It was Paige who broke first, her gaze flicking to something beyond Emily's shoulder and she uttered a soft curse under her breath.
"Coach is heading this way," she said softly, taking a step back. "She looks...I think she thinks we're fighting."
"Oh no." Emily relaxed her stance, letting her arms fall to her sides for a moment before shoving them into the pockets of her jacket. She could see why their coach would have gotten that impression. From the outside, it probably looked like the two of them were staring off against each other, the way they'd been standing there, toe to toe, trying to stare each other down. She pulled a face and turned, just as Couch Fulton reached the two of them.
"Good job out there today girls. Both of you," she said brightly.
"Thanks Coach," they chorused.
"Fields, you beat your personal best by a second. And McCullers, you broke a tournament record."
Emily nudged Paige's shoulder with her own, She hadn't known that, but it was a pretty big deal. Paige bumped her back lightly.
"You know I love the hustle. But I want you to remember that today is just the heats. You've got a full day of swimming tomorrow as well, and I don't want you worn out when it really counts."
While Emily knew that was true, she also knew that what Coach was really saying is that she didn't want the two of them going all out to beat each other in their next race.
"You know, Coach, Emily and I were just having that exact same conversation. Hey, Em?" Paige said, a little too cheerily as she slung an arm around Emily's shoulder.
Emily's breath caught in her throat at the action and she nodded, not trusting herself to speak.
"It's a delicate balance," Paige continued, her voice strong and steady, as if it didn't effect her in the least to have Emily tucked into her side like this. "Between how much energy to expend to ensure advacement into the next round and how much to conserve for the next round."
Her stomach dropped n dissapointment because she knew it was true, Paige wasn't affected by having Emily so close like this. It still didn't stop her from soaking in the moment. Or from letting her arm from sliding around Paige's waist, her hand curling along the curve of her hip.
"We were just discussing whether or not the last race wore me out," Paige continued. "So sweet of her to be concerned. But, I'm fine. And Emily, I know, is raring to go as well."
Coach Fulton's gaze flicked back and forth between the two of them and then she tipped her head. "You're on deck," she said after a moment. "Go get warmed up."
"Thanks, Coach."
Paige's arm slipped from around her shoulder as Coach turned and walked away. Reluctantly, Emily let her own arm drop as well. Her side felt cold as Paige stepped away and she had to tamp down on her dissapointment so it wouldn't show on her face as the other girl turned to face her, an amused smile playing on her lips.
"I think she thought were going to come to blows. Next time, we should fake a fist fight."
Emily snorted and shook her head, though there was something in Paige's voice that told her the other girl wasn't entirely kidding.
"Are you ready for this?"
Emily nodded, still not trusting her voice.
"Let's do this." Paige bounced lightly on the balls of her feet, eyes shining. Her energy was infectious, Emily felt herelf getting caught up in it as the two of them worked through a series of warm up stretches, finishing just as their race was called.
The moved to the starting blocks, getting into place side by side. Just before they were instructed into position, Paige reached out and grasped Emily's hand, their fingers entwining for just a moment as she squeezed lightly.
"Good luck, Emily."
"You too, Paige."
Paige's hand fell away and Emily took a deep breath, focusing her energy on the race ahead and not the girl beside her. She shifted into position and with the bang of the starting pistol sprang forward into the water.
As the cool liquid engulfed her body she forgot about Paige, about the way the other girl confused her head and made her feel warm and content simultanously. Her attention was entirely captured by the pleasant burn in her muscles with each roll of her shoulders, the rythmn of her breathing, the placement of her body in the water. She lost sight of the swimmers on either side of her, she had no idea if she was ahead by a length or trailing behind and in the moment it didn't matter, all that mattered was the fact that she was swimming. That she was in the water doing what she loved.
That's not to say she didn't care about the outcome. Because she did. She wanted to do well, fo herself, for her team but for the duration of the race that fell away and it was just her.
She tapped the wall and pulled her goggles off, eyes immediately going to her left to find Paige pulling her own goggles off. As soon as they were clear of her head she turned and their gazes met. Paige tipped her head in acknowledgement then pulled herself out of the pool. Emily followed suit.
Their team mates hovered on the perihperal, waiting to see what the reaction would be from the two swimmers when they met out of the water. It wouldn't be the first time that the two of them had faced off in competition and while normally their rivalry had been friendly, if not a little stifled when directly facing off, things had changed in the months since Emily had come out. Instead of a friendly handshake when beaten in pratice, Paige had taken to simply turning around and walking away. Emily had adopted the same response, for lack of any other options.
Things had shifted between them this weekend and she hoped that this race hadn't changed things. It really was a toss up between the two of them, who would win on any given day. Their training and times identical. It could have just as easily been Paige who had pulled ahead and won the race.
She turned to Paige, stomach fluttering with trepidation.
"Good race," Paige said, stepping up and wrapping her arms around Emily's shoulders into a hug.
Emily let out a sigh of relief as she returned it. "You too."
The rest of the team swarmed then, offering pats on the back and shouders to both of them, crowing about how exciting it had been to watch them take the one and two positions immediately, the lead alternating several times between the two of them and leaving the rest of the swimmers vying for third in their wake.
Paige released Emily from the hug, but kept her arm around her shoulder as they moved through the crowd. Emily leaned in, relishing in the contact in a way she knew she shouldn't but was unable to prevent.
Coach was watching them from the sidelines, eyeing them appraisingly. Probably looking for signs of false comraderie. When she apparently found none, she turned her attention back the next race, which was just starting.
Paige didn't let her arm drop until they reached the bench, and only then to pick up a towel, which she unfurled with a flick of her wrists and held it up for Emily to step into. Emily smiled her thanks as the material was folded around her shoulders, a warmth that absolutely nothing to do with the terry cloth draped around her spread through her body. She took the edges from Paige's grasp, their fingers brushing together lightly as she did so, and gripped the material tightly so she wouldn't be tempted to let her touch linger.
She tried not to watch as Paige grabbed a second towel for herself and ran it over her face before wrapping it around her waist. Just as she tried not to let her eyes run over the long, lean lines of Paige's body as she stood there in her swimsuit with water droplets dotting her shoulders and chest.
She dropped down onto the bench, just to have something to do other than stand there and stare at Paige. A moment later, Paige settled in next to her.
"I don't have any more races today until the relay," Paige said as she pulled her gym bag over with her toe. "You?" She pulled the bag up into her lap and began rooting around.
"Same."
"Hungry?" She held up a protein bar.
"Starved." Breakfast was long gone and Emily would have loved to have had lunch by now, but her races were grouped together in such a way that had made eating impossible. She was just greatful for the chance now. "And that protein bar is not going to cut it. Want to sneak down to the cafeteria and see if they've got any decent food here?"
Coach Fulton preferred for the girls to stay and cheer each other on, but when meets ran all day like this it was impossible watch every race. There was always a steady stream of girls slipping away to grab a bite to eat or take a few minutes of quiet reprieve out in the hallway.
"That sounds like a great idea." Paige tossed the bar back into her bag with a flourish and let the towel fall from her waist and began pulling on sweat pants and a t-shirt in it's place. Emily probably would have just sat there watching her, silently bemoaning the girl covering herself up if she weren't so hungry. She shakily to her feet and pulled on her warm up suit.
"Come on, slowpoke," Paige teased, grabbing her hand and giving it a tug in the direction of the double doors leading out of the room. Emily stumbled a step or two behind before catching up. She elbowed a laughing Paige in the ribs, only to be elbowed back. They made their way down to the cafeteria chatting easily. And Paige didn't drop her hand.