A/N: Oy. This took longer than I expected. I knew where I wanted to go with this, but I really had trouble writing it and as it is I feel like it's a little disjointed. So here it is. Apparently my real life angst isn't translating so well into hot B&B angst these days. Yikes. Reviews please!
Tag for 03x15 The Pain in the Heart
BOOTH: (reading from the letter) "Dear Mr. Addy. It is my pleasure to offer you the post of my intern in Forensic Anthropology. I choose you from hundreds of applicants because of your knowledge, your desire to learn and because I feel you will find a home here." I think you gave him something great, Bones.
Brennan laid her head on Booth's shoulder. His head came to rest on hers. They stayed that way for awhile. Finally Booth stood and took Brennan's hand and gently tugged her up.
"Let's go, Bones." He said softly leading her down the stairs.
"Where are we going?" She sighed.
"My place. We're going to get Thai and watch bad movies and forget about the day." He smiled that charm smile.
"Don't think that smile is the reason I'm letting you get away with this, Booth." She warned.
"C'mon, Bones. Let me do this for you, please?" He hoped he didn't sound like he was begging.
Brennan wasn't sure why she allowed Booth to drag her along. She wasn't really in the mood to go home alone, but the idea of going home with Booth seemed almost as torturous. She'd frequently found herself day dreaming about that Christmas kiss; something that never would have happened before she'd started working with Booth. He had this effect on her that, logically, she knew he shouldn't; but she couldn't seem to shake it. Just his presence made her feel warm.
She followed Booth down the stairs and out to his truck. It was a quiet ride to the Thai restaurant, not unusual considering the situation. By the time they got to the restaurant it had begun to rain and Booth offered to go inside and get the food so Brennan wouldn't get wet.
Brennan watched her partner run back to the truck in a futile attempt to stay somewhat dry. He looked up briefly and flashed a smile at her before ducking his head again and opening up the car door.
"What's going on in that head of yours, Bones?" He asked nonchalantly. He hoped that if he kept it light she would be more willing to respond to him. It was killing him to see her in pain like this. His gut told him that something else was bothering her, but he wasn't going to push it tonight.
"I assume you're asking me what I'm thinking about and not asking about the actual biological processes occurring in my…"
He cut her off, "What's bothering you?"
"I feel responsible though rationally I know that I'm not. I should have done more to provide guidance for Zach and answered his questions. I should have…"
He interrupted again, "Bones. You didn't do anything wrong. Zach…He never asked those questions. Never asked them of any of us. He obviously thought that what he was doing was rational and logical. Nothing you did or didn't do could have prevented this."
Suddenly they were parked outside Booth's apartment. Brennan looked at him for a long moment before opening her door and stepping out into the rain. She walked at a normal pace as Booth again ran to the door trying to avoid getting wet.
"Bones! Come on, you're getting soaked!"
By the time she reached the door she was drenched. Booth just shook his head as he ushered her inside the building. Once they got upstairs Booth brought his partner a towel and gently wiped the water from her face.
"Bones," he said softly, "none of this is your fault. None of it. Zach did what he did and nothing is…"
Before he could finish the thought her mouth was on his. The seemingly simple act of wiping the rain water off of her face had broken the dam. Everything she'd felt for Booth over the last three years was poured into that kiss.
"Bones..." He managed to mumble between kisses. When he realized he wasn't going to get anywhere trying to talk to her he let his instincts take over. His hands snaked around her waist pulling her body closer to his. Her moan was lost in the kiss.
Her hands came to his head ensuring that he wouldn't be able to pull away. While his tongue gently explored Brennan's mouth her tongue moved urgently trying to memorize the feel of him. Finally the need for oxygen overrode the need to continue kissing one another and the partners broke apart panting.
"Bones," he said again, "what was that?"
"Wha…I…You…the towel…I just…" she was sobbing now. Her grief over everything that had happened in the last few weeks—Booth's 'death' and 'resurrection' and then Zach's apparent transformation into a serial killer—had finally caught up with her. Booth's tender act of wiping her face had made her desire to feel him under her hands almost unbearable.
"Shhh…Temperance. It's okay." His use of her given name surprised both of them. "Everything is going to be okay. None of this is your fault."
"It's not just Zach." She sobbed. "You…you died. But you didn't die, but no one told me so I thought you were dead."
He was so going to kill Sweets the next time he saw the little punk psychiatrist. Whatever his reasons were for not telling Bones were not good enough. He'd hurt her. Booth had hurt her in exactly the way he'd promised he never would. He wondered if she'd forgive him for this. She'd said she understood why he didn't tell her despite the fact that she was still angry with him for not doing so. Now he saw that even she couldn't compartmentalize this grief.
"Oh Bones. I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry." He pulled her into his arms, crushing her body against his. He dropped soft kisses into her damp hair. "I swear I didn't know that Sweets wasn't going to tell you. I would never have done that on purpose, you have to believe me. Please, Bones." He didn't really know what he was pleading for. For her to forgive him? For her to understand that he really didn't know that Sweets wouldn't tell her?
She clung to him; her finger nails digging into his back through his jacket. She tucked her head in between his neck and shoulder and breathed in his scent. "Please, Booth. I need…"
He knew exactly what she needed, what they both needed. He curled a finger under her chin and lifted her head so he could look at her. "Are you sure?"
Brennan nodded and kissed him, gently this time. He returned the kiss and enfolded her in his arms again. He slowly walked them back toward his bedroom. He kissed and nipped at her nudging her along gently. She unbuttoned and peeled his now soaked shirt off of his chest while he did the same to hers. His mouth immediately trailed kisses down her neck and chest until he reached her breasts. The same breasts he'd fantasized about touching, kissing, and licking more times than he'd like to admit. He deftly flicked the clasp on her bra freeing her breasts and causing her to moan with pleasure.
Booth took one breast into his mouth and palmed the other. Brennan's hands smoothed over his chest and down his abdomen enjoying the feel of his rippling muscles beneath her fingers. Her fingers found the waist of his pants and dipped down under the elastic of his boxers teasing him. A shudder rocked his body and his hips bucked into her of their own volition. Finally she withdrew her fingers and tugged on his Cocky belt buckle startling slightly at the metallic clank as it hit the floor. Before he could so much as blink she'd unbuttoned his pants and pulled his throbbing cock from the confines of his pants.
"Bones…" Moaning her name was becoming a habit tonight.
His hands moved to rid her of her pants as well. Just as he was about to dip a finger into her core she stopped him. "Booth. I need you now." Her grip on him tightened as her other hand grabbed his ass and pulled him into her.
"Want to do this right, Bones." He breathed, struggling to maintain his composure.
"There will be time for that later Booth. I need you now."
He wasn't about to deny the woman who clearly knew what she needed. He pushed her back onto the bed and crawled over top of her. His hand came up to brush the hair out of her face as she lined him up at her entrance. Her other hand gently pulled him toward her. They both gasped as he entered her slowly.
"Booth." His name came out on a frustrated moan. "Faster."
Knowing that this was not the time to argue with her he picked up the pace. His mouth dropped to her breast again causing her to cry out. He set a rhythm that seemed to please her.
Suddenly feeling the need to be in control Brennan flipped them so that Booth was on his back. She straddled his hips and lowered herself onto him causing a sharp intake of breath on his part. She leaned over him as she slid up and down over his cock creating just the right amount of friction for both of them.
He could feel that she was getting close and reached down to rub circles on her clit. "Booth!" She yelled out.
"Look at me Bones. Open your eyes and look at me." She obeyed. "Let go, baby. Just let go."
"Don't call me…Oh!" She felt the first wave wash over her as he thrust up to meet her and she finally let go. "Booth!" She moaned as she came apart around him.
Her release caused his own and he filled her as she collapsed on top of him. He pulled her down to him and kissed her with a new urgency. He wanted to give her everything in that moment. He wanted her to know just how much he loved her. But he didn't say anything. He just held her as their breathing slowed back to a normal pace.
It took him a moment to notice the wetness on his neck and shoulder. She'd made no noise and hadn't given any other indication that she was crying or upset.
"Bones. I'm sorry. We shouldn't have…"
She kissed him. "No, Booth. Don't say that. I just…you're alive. I'm happy you're alive. But Zach…he's gone and I just… Please don't say this was a mistake. It wasn't a mistake. I…" She knew what she was going to say next would definitely shock him because it shocked her. "I love you. And while I realize that I've said before that love is nothing more than norepinepherine and…"
"You what?" Her words had rushed past him in a blur, but time seemed to stop as she said the three words he'd never thought he'd hear from her.
"I love you, Booth. And I don't think it's just chemical. And even though I know this is completely irrational I find that I don't think I would want to continue living if you were no longer alive."
He shifted so they could lie side by side. He brought his hand to her face and cupped her cheek. "I find that I would also not want to continue living without you, Bones. Irrational as that may be. I'm sorry that Sweets didn't tell you and that I didn't tell you. I need you to know I would never leave you, never on purpose."
"I know, Booth." And she did know. She knew he'd never meant to hurt her. And deep down she knew that the issue with Zach was not her fault. Lying here with him, in his bed, was all the reassurance she needed that everything would be okay.