Guest :)

Guest Yep. :)

Guest Thanks. :)

ren-mccullers Sorry. :p Does the fact that I'm posting this chapter the next day make me any less mean? I actually wanted to post them one after the other, but I ran out of writing time yesterday and had to wait until this afternoon to do this one. I'm glad that you liked the chapter. And that you weren't expecting the kiss. I didn't want the story to get predictable. Have to keep you guys on your toes. I'll miss writing the does she/doesn't she aspect as well, but I felt like it was getting repetitive, so it was time to move on.

jhas lol. :) I'm glad that the chapter illicted a response, even it was swearing. :) I'll take it.I'm glad that I could surprise you with it, I want to keep you guessing as to the direction that things are going. Don't want to be predictable or boring. This chapter gets into Paige's pov a little, it should helps clear things up, explains things a little, so I hope that you enjoy it. In due time, some of the stuff you suggested/mentioned will come into play, but there's some other stuff to get out of the way first.

I appreciate every review that I get. As long as you're taking the time out of your day to not just read but to let me know what you thought, I'll read your comments (or criticisims, I'll take those too) and take them into consideration and take a moment to reply. It's the least I can do for you, because you've invested into my story.

saii79 I'm glad that you found multiple points of cuteness in the chapter. :) Something about these two just lend themselves to adorableness. I'm glad that you thought the kiss was fitting. I really hoped that it would suit the chapter and their relationship as it's developing here.

CarmellaD'Winter Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

jewelskins28 I'm a jerk, I know. :p But, I posted as soon as I had another chapter written. Does that redeem me at all? :)

Shananigan Thank you. I'm glad that you liked it. And, this next chapter is their talk. I hope that you enjoy that too. I wanted to explore Emily's feelings for Paige a little more fully than the show did. To me it always seemed like their relationship was an afterthought to her and I wanted it to be more than that here. So I'm glad that you're enjoying my take on it, and the way they get alone.

Chapter 13

"I think we need to talk."

Emily knew that generally those words did not bode well for the conversation that followed but she nodded anyway. The fact that Paige's voice was calm and even, that she was still gently cupping Emily's cheek was somewhat reassuring.

"Can we go back into the rec-room?" The question seeemed to be rhetorical because Paige was already stepping back. Her hand fell away from Emily's face, and immediately she missed the soft, wam touch. Her knuckles brushed against Emily's as her arm fell back to her side and, acting on instinct, Emily turned her hand and loosely linked their fingers together. She held her breath, awaiting Paige's reaction, hoping that this wouldn't be the moment she freaked out and pulled away. Much to her relief, Paige simply smiled faintly before giving her hand a gentle tug as she took another step backwards before turning and guiding her back down the hallway. Emily couldn't stop staring down at their joined hands as she walked, a step behind Paige. Her eyes taking in the way Paige's fingers laced loosely between her own, pale, slender fingers pressing gently against her skin. She could feel every point of contact as a faint tingling sensation that was working it's way up her arm.

She stumbled slightly on the first step down into the room, having forgotten it's existance, too distracted by the sight of their joint hands. Paige's grip on her hand tightened as she spun at the bottom of the steps, her free hand coming up to wrap around her shoulder, steadying her and guiding her down the second step and onto solid ground. She smiled her thanks and watched, charmed and amused as Paige smiled back briefly before ducking her head and then letting her hand drop as she spun once again and crossed the room to the worn but comfortable couch.

Paige dropped down onto it and Emily followed suit. They both turned to face each other, shoulders resting against the back of the couch, their joined hands laying on the cushion between them. Emily pulled her knees up, tucking her feet up under her and after a moment Paige followed suit.

Emily gazed at the other girl, expecting her to start the conversation, but Paige stared silently down at the couch cushion. Or maybe she was gazing upon their joined hands. Her head was tilted forward slightly, causing her hair to fall in a curtain around her face, hiding it from Emily's view. Needing to see Paige's face, to be able to look into her eyes, whatever direction this conversation took, Emily reached out with her free hand and tucked the loose strands of hair behind Paige's ear.

"So does this mean that you...are you-"

"Gay?" Finally looking up and meeting Emily's eye, Paige softly finished the sentence for her. "Yeah. I'm gay. You're the first person I've admitted it out loud to but, yes. I'm gay." Her voice grew stronger with each word, ending with a proud proclamation rather than a whispered confession.

Emily offered up an encouraging smile and squeezed her hand, hoping that she would fine some comfort and reassurance in it. She remembered how hard it had been to say it out loud for the first time, how she hadn't been able to look her father in the eye as she'd uttered the words.

"I think I've known for awhile. But, it was seeing you with...Maya earlier this year that it really clicked into place for me."

Emily was startled by the admission and yet somehow, it wasn't all that much of surprise. That was when things with Paige had started to get really rocky. She'd been distant before, but it had really ramped up when she'd officially started dating the other girl and come out.

"I saw you in the hallway with her, one morning. The two of you were just standing at her locker, talking. And there was just something about the way you were standing, the way you were, with each other that caught my attention. Then, you leaned in to kiss her and something inside me just...rankled. At first I thought it was just because I'd never seen two girls kiss before and I thought it was wrong. I mean, I grew up in the church and well, you know."

Emily nodded. She did know. She wasn't as involved in the church as her mother was, as Paige's parents were. She's stopped attending services around the same time she'd hit puberty, sleeping in and hanging around with her friends was a much more appealing option on Sunday morning than listening to a sermon. But she'd done Sunday school and bible study and church camp as a kid. She'd been raised with the same homosexuality is a sin opinion as Paige had been, that many of her peers had been. It had taken her a long time, when she'd been first discovering her sexuality, to come to terms with who she was and what she'd been raised to believe. She no longer believed that who she was was a sin, or that the God she was raised to love condemmed her, but it had been a hard fought struggle to get to that place.

"But, the more I saw you two together around school, the more I realized that it wasn't disgust I was feeling. It wasn't condemnation or hatred or whatever it was that I was raised to believe I should have been feeling. I couldn't pin it down, but it wasn't because I felt that you were wrong."

Emily saw the pain and confusion swirling in her eyes she realized that Paige was still very much in the process of coming out, not just to the world but to herself. She was still dealing with those bouts of uncertainty, of self-doubt, maybe even of self-loathing.

Offering up and encouraging smile she squeezed Paige's hand and cupped her face running her thumb gently across her cheek. "Take your time," she murmured. "I'm not going anywhere."

Paige flashed her a greatful smile as she turned her head into Emily's touch, her eyes fluttering closed for a moment before focusing back on Emily.

"I was still so confused about what was going on with me, but I knew that somehow, you were the cause of it. So, I lashed out at you. I did my best to push you away, hoping that it would, I don't know, reverse what I was feeling? Something. Anyway, for that, I am sorry."

"Paige." Emily's heart broke for the other girl. She knew how hard it was, dealing with the mess of confusion and emotions. And, she'd had someone to help guide her through it. Maya had been patient and reassuring. Sure, her presence had, at times, been the cause of Emily's turmoil, but it had also been a soothing balm. And, eventually she had come out to her family. Things had been rocky at first, they still were at times, but she knew that she still had her family. And of course, her friends had been an invaluable source of love ahd support once she'd come out to them. Paige had gone through it, was going through it all alone. Knowing her parent's background, their beliefs, she knew Paige was doubting whether or not her parents would still love her, would still want her, once she told them. And, Emily didn't really know who Paige hung out with at school, but if her friends were part of the jock clique, well they weren't exactly known for being the most open-minded progressive bunch.

"I'm sorry for the way I treated you, these past few months."

"It's okay."

"It's not," Paige disagreed with a shake of her head. "But, thank for saying that. I don't know how you had it in yourself to forgive me but I'm glad that you did. And I'm sorry for not apologizing sooner, but I didn't know how to bring it up without getting into everything else."

Emily hadn't realized just how much she needed to hear Paige say that until the words left the other girl's mouth. She'd convinced herself that she was content with just having Paige's attitude towards her change. That if she was willing to treat Emily like a person and a friend than Emily was willing to forgive her and move on.

"Thank you." She offered Paige a soft smile. "And, you're forgiven."

The smile she got in response was broad and beaming. It lit up Paige's whole face. And it took everything in Emily not to just lean forward and kiss her.

"What changed?" She had to ask. Because Paige's attitude had been anything but hostile this weekend. And. come to think of it, it had been at couple weeks since she'd caught Paige glaring at her on the pool deck or passive agressively mumbling comments under her breath.

"It took me awhile, a lot of hard thinking, of soul searching but I finally figured it out. I realized that what I felt when I saw you with Maya, It was jealousy. Maybe...longing. I didn't hate you because you were something I despised. I hated you because you were something that I wanted to be able to be. You were out and you weren't ashamed and I wished that I were in that same place. It was a reality check, for sure. I started working on being okay with who I was. And on getting to the place where I could be as confident and comfortable in public as you were. You're like, my role model, Fields," she said dryly, making them both laugh. "And then the swim meet happened," she added, with a wry smile. "And Fulton paired us togther. My first thought was that this was my karma for being such a bitch to you. I thought for sure the weekend was going to be hell for both of us."

Emily nodded. "Honestly, so did I. But it turned out to be one of the best weekends of my life."

Paige blushed and ducked her head even as she whispered a quiet agreement.

That weekend had certainly changed both of their lives, for the better. She felt like she should give Coach Fulton a fruit basket, or something, for her part in bringing the two of them closer together.

"So, what does that mean, for us?" She asked the question that had been on her mind since they'd kissed in the kitchen.

Paige shrugged. "I don't know." She raised her gaze to meet Emily's and the pain in her expression made Emily's heart ache. "I'm not out, Emily. I think it's great that you are. And I wish that I were ready to be, but I'm not. And to be honest, I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell my parents. At least, not while I'm still living under their roof."

Her words weren't exactly what Emily wanted to hear. She knew that, realistically it was pretty much what she expected from Paige, but it still didn't make it easier to hear.

"I've been looking into getting a job and I'm pretty much guaranteed a scholarship in either academics or athletics, so I won't be dependent on them for long but-"

"Hey, easy. It's okay." Emily cut off Paige's rush or words with a quick brush of her lips. The move caught them both off guard, it certainly wasn't something she'd planned on doing, and she could tell Paige wasn't expecting from the way Paige stiffened and fell still but she also felt the way Paige sagged slightly, the fight going out of her at the touch of their lips, and the soft sigh that escaped as they pulled apart. In the moment it had just felt natural, felt right. When she leaned back, Paige was blushing, but she was also smiling, albeit dazedly. Emily's own cheeks were burning and she felt the corners of her lips tugging up as well.

"As you pointed out, I am out. And, I spent a lot of time hiding and being ashamed of who I was. I can't go back to that."

Paige nodded, though she wouldn't raise her gaze to meet Emily's. She kept her head down, eyes firmly downcast. Emily stared at the top of her head, willing her to look up at her.

It appeared they were at an impasse. And it hurt Emily to think that there was no way around it. That there was nothing they could do that would facilitate their getting together. As much as she loved their developing friendship, now that the possibility of more had been dangled in front of her, she wasn't sure she could settle for just being Paige's friend. She wasn't sure that their friendship could survive the strain denying their mutual attraction, either.

"But, what if we could reach some kind of compromise?" She was grasping at straws but she was willing to risk it if it meant moving things forward with Paige.

Paige's head shot up, so quickly that it made Emily's neck hurt just thinking about the strain on the muscles. The hopeful look on her face was enough to make Emily certain that she was making the right decision.

"I refuse to go back to being ashamed of who I am. I won't, I can't, do a secret relationship. But, I think that I could do subtle. Dates in the city or the next town over, where nobody knows us and let everyone at school just think that we're friends."

Paige had been nodding along with her words at first, and then slowly she started shaking her head. "No. Us lying and sneaking around is exactly what you said you couldn't do."

"No, I said that people at school didn't have to know that we were together. I really don't care what any of them think of me, or if they know who I am or who I'm dating. As long as I can be honest with my parents and my friends, the rest of it doesn't matter."

"Emily-"

"I get what it's like to be afraid of coming out to your parents, not knowing how they'll react, if they'll kick you out, disown you. So, I won't pressure you do do that. But, what if we told mine? It's not like they'd ever tell anyone. My dad's overseas and my mom's still too embarrrased to have a daugther who's a lesbian to want anyone to know anyway."

"Em-"

Ignoring the sympathy in Paige's voice, she forged on.

"My house could be one place in town where we could be together, hold hands or kiss or cuddle up together."

She knew that she had Paige, at least a little bit, at the mention of holding hands, kissing, being together. The other girl nodded for her to continue.

"And my friends can keep a secret." She fought to keep a smile off her face at this statement, thinking about just how true that statement was. "You don't have to worry about them letting it slip to anyone else. Plus, if they knew about us, it would make things so much easier for you, having a support system."

Paige was considering it, Emily could tell. "So, at school?"

"For all anyone else is concerned, we're friends. We can still talk in the halls, hang out before practice. Though, you may want to lay off on the hugs and the-"

"You don't like my hugs?" She asked, sounding genuinely hurt.

"I love your hugs," Emily answered honestly. "But, people are already starting to talk. If you don't want them saying even more-"

"Screw 'em." Paige's voice was hard with defiance.

"While I admire that attitude, you know as well as I do how rumours spread in this town. All it will take is one misplaced comment and it gets back to your parents. And, if they confront you about it, would you be able to deny it?" She doubted that Paige would be able to lie convincingly enough to be able to pull it off, even if she tried. She wore her heart on her sleeve and there was no way she'd be able to play off a direct accusation. Not to mention how much harder lying is than witholding. It's one thing not to tell your parents something and another thing altogether to lie right to their face.

Paige bit her lip, uncertain.

"I'm not saying we have to do it this way. We can go back to being friends. Slightly less tactile in public friends."

Paige perked up a little at that. "And in private?"

Emily laughed at the hopeful expression on her face. "No dice. Friends with benefits is not one of the options on the table here."

"Aww, shucks," Paige drawled, complete with a sweep of her arm and a snap of her fingers and Emily laughed.

"You don't have to decide right now," Emily said, giving Paige's hand a gentle squeeze. "I know it's a lot to take in. And like I said, I'm not going anywhere."

"No, I've made my decision. I know what I want."

"You do?" Emily's heart quickened it's pace in her chest.

"I want to be with you."

Emily felt her face break out into a grin. "Say it again."

"I want to be with you." Paige's grin light up her face as she used their joined hands to tug Emily forward. "I want to be with you. Even if it's just in private. And I'll work on being able to be with you, publicly."

That was all that Emily could ask for, really. She allowed herself to be tugged the final distance between them and captured Paige's lips in a soft, sweet kiss.