"How is that possible?" He stood, slamming his fists on the table. "If you sold your soul to some penny-demon, I swear to God – "

"You'll what? It's not like you've ever cared before." She growled, turning to leave. In a flash of black, Angel was standing in front of her, blocking her path. He gripped her shoulders tightly.

"Judy, what's that supposed to mean?" He asked, his voice still gentle and calm. That frustrated her to no end. She wanted him angry.

"All those years you tortured, maimed, killed in front of me, you never once cared about my soul. What's so special about it now, Angelus?" She watched his face, to see his reaction. He still gave none to her as she jerked out of his grasp.

"I've got my own soul now. I'm – "

"I know. You help the helpless! But I've seen the real you. The one who held me back as your girlfriend murdered my sisters! I don't believe you've got a soul, Angelus. I just think you're bored with your time and looking to try something a little different."

She watched anger flash across his face. He slammed her into the wall, his hands still gripping her shoulders tightly. She knew she'd be black and blue within minutes.

"What are you?" He demanded, holding their faces inches apart.

"I'm immortal. I was a blood slave to a vampire coven and they were all killed. I was stabbed with a stake and drank from a vat of holy water that a vampire had been dusted by. Since then, I haven't aged a day over seventeen." She yelled, no longer trying to contain her emotions.

"Damn it. Jude, if I had known, I would have helped you. Why didn't you try and find me?" His voice was softer but still angry.

"You don't think I've tried? You disappeared! I wanted to find you and hope to God that what everyone had told me was true." He let go of her shoulders and backed away but she followed him. "But I realized that if you really had a soul, you wouldn't have left me to fend for myself in a convent. They didn't want to find me a family like you said, they just wanted me to clean for them and become a nun! I didn't want that! I just wanted to stay with you so I ran away and was forced into being a blood slave so I could eat."

He reached out and grabbed her by the front of her shirt to pull her up to his eye level. She wasn't afraid of him, even after all the time that had passed. They glared at each other, both of them furiously angry at the other.

"Why did you try to kill me, Judith?"

"If I don't kill you, they won't kill me." She answered, kicking her feet out.

He dodged her boots, setting her down. She pushed him away to turn and walk to the elevator. He didn't try and stop her this time.

"I lied about the elevator."

She gave a groan and turned back to look at him. "Am I your prisoner or something? Am I not allowed to leave as I want?"

"No, you're not my prisoner. I'm just keeping the doors until you answer some questions. The big one on my mind is who's put you up to this and why you want to die?" He asked, sitting back at the table, resting his boots up on a chair.

"You already know who wants you dead. Even street demons know that Lindsey's after you. He found me, offered me the deal and I took it. Your death for mine, Angelus. Sounds like a fair trade to me." She informed him, crossing her arms over her chest as she leaned against the wall.

Angel cocked his head to the side in confusion.

"Why do you want to die, Jude? You're an immortal human."

Judy felt her eyes burn with tears as he said this. This was not the first time someone had told her this and she didn't believe for half a moment that it would be the last either. She felt a tear escape from the corner of her eye.

"Easy for you to say. You don't understand! No one understands!" She grasped her hair in hands in angst. "You are not me. You're a vampire, Angelus! I am not! I'm not human, I'm not a vampire. I'm nothing! I have nothing!" Tears fell down her cheeks as he sat in his chair and watched. "I have no family, no home to go to, not a dime to my name. There's nothing in this life for me!"

"So you're giving up? Committing a murder/suicide pact for your own needs?" He asked, his voice quiet as he looked at the table.

"Angelus, it's not –"

His hand slammed down on the table, denting the metal. She jumped in surprise as he stood up slowly, his face full of fury as he moved around the table. She held her ground as well as she could, trying to appear weaker than she already did.

"Do not tell me it doesn't concern me, Judith. If you don't want to live, that's your concern. But you're not taking me down with you over something so petty as you don't want to live anymore!"

Tears slipped down her face as she watched him. He slammed his face down on the table again, this time, making the metal bend in half. His fist imprinted into the material, the legs bent outwards as if in mid-jump.

"You say you don't want to live anymore? I could kill you for free!" He moved forward, making her back away to the point her back was against the wall. He felt his face slide into his game face as he marched forward. She squeaked as he grabbed her throat.

"Are you sure? You sound scared, Judith." He snarled, dangerously close to her throat. She gasped, trying to get away only for him to grab her arms. "Would you rather be like me? Be a vamp too?"

She shook her head furiously. "No!"

He pushed himself away, smirking. "Exactly. I know what you're going through. You don't want to die, you're lonely. You miss having someone there to talk to you. Believe me, I know that feeling. It's a raw emptiness that just eats you from the inside out. And just when you think that you can't be more alone, you see families and couples together and you wish desperately that you could know what that feels like!"

"Shut up, Angelus!" She yelled, stepping forward.

"No, Jude. You know I'm telling the truth! You just hate that I'm bringing it to light, don't you?" He growled, smiling as his game face fell away. She felt a hatred in the pit of her stomach, knowing that he was right in everything he was saying.

She could feel tears pricking up in her eyes again. Embarrassed, she turned away to walk back up the stairs. He stormed after her only for her to spin around and deck him straight in the face. He recoiled back as she aimed another hit for his gut. He heaved as the air left him.

Judy couldn't help but relish his grunt of pain. She kicked her boot only to have him jump out of the way, dodging her attack. She flung her fists and legs at him as hard as she could only to have him leap out of the way each time. She could feel herself wearing down, struggling not to break down.

"Fight back, damn you! You know you want to!" She taunted, a trick Darla taught her years ago. "Enough with the games, Angelus!"

He reached out and snatched her wrists. With a simple yank, she fell against him. Her walls collapsed in as she felt his arms holding her to him firmly. She seized up at the unorthodox gesture as his chin rested on the top of her head as she cried into his chest.

She collapsed against him, sobs racking her torso as he lowered them both so they were kneeling on the kitchen floor. She struggled some only for him to hold her even more tightly to him as they sat on the floor.

"I hate you."

"I know. It's okay." He kissed the top of her head. She flinched, trying not to revile to much in it. She knew he was lying. He was Angelus, the man who made her this way.

"It's your fault."

"I know." Angel's voice broke. He knew it was true and his soul made him feel all the horrendous guilt from it. The beautiful young girl he was holding was a fragile, wounded bird because of him. She was a mess because of him.

The two sat on the kitchen floor, both crying as if they were children with skinned knees. She wrapped her arms around his middle, pulling him to her, desperate to feel some sort of connection to someone, to make the loneliness go away, even if it was only for a minute. Even if it was with a man she hated with every fiber of her being.

It was a risk she would have to take.