A/N: Brownie points to anyone who recognizes the source of this chapter's title. Makes me grin every single time.

I really love the end of this chapter. Poor, confused Jake and Nessie.

Thanks for reading, and an extra special thanks to everyone who listed this story as a favorite! I'm thrilled by the number of hits this story's getting. I'd love it if more of you readers would review… but I guess I've been known to do the same thing. So no sad face… not today anyway.

Enjoy!

~Crit.

Chapter 12: Not Seeing the Rest of You is Getting the Best of Me

It had been weeks since their big fight over Nessie's new friend and, with the exception of the occasional bout of strange behavior on Renesmee's part, Jacob was feeling pretty decent about the way things had been going since then. Not that he was exactly thrilled that he'd agreed to let Renesmee go running around town with Scholar Boy, or that he had to act like he loved the idea, but at least Renesmee seemed happy (if sometimes a little secretive and odd), and relieved that there was no tension over her new friend. Of course, Jacob was tense… every minute that she was off with him seemed like several hours to the Wolf, and his more basic instincts kept telling him to just deal with the problem in the most simple and savage of ways. But the power of the imprint, infinitely more complex and subtle than his wolf instincts, compelled him to tolerate the guy, and even be pleasant, because it was what would make Renesmee happiest.

Aside from the boy, Renesmee had made another friend. Jacob was relieved to find out that this one was a girl. He hadn't met her, but she seemed okay, if not a bit spoiled, and Renesmee seemed genuinely happy to have a girl to talk to besides her family members. Jacob knew there were things about Renesmee that, as a guy, he'd never understand or be able to help her with. He was glad she had someone now with whom she could identify on that level, even if it did take her away from him more often that he'd like.

It irked Jacob that he and Renesmee didn't really get to spend all that much time alone with each other. He'd assumed, when they moved into the loft, that they would be together all the time. Despite his promise to Edward, he'd sort of hoped some progress might be made towards making Renesmee see him as a viable contender in the category of 'Romantic Partners'. Not that he intended to break his deal with the vampire, but it certainly wouldn't hurt if things got mostly sorted out now, while they had time apart from Renesmee's family. Then they would be able to start their life together as soon as they were reunited with the Cullens and the Pack, and Jacob's agreement with Edward had expired.

He saw now that things would most definitely not be unfolding that way. First, there was the issue of Bella's violent impulses towards him. He had been concerned enough by Edward's threats, but knowing how Bella was feeling about him and Renesmee living together was enough to make Jacob's blood run cold (not an easy feat when one runs at a steady temperature of one hundred and eight). He hadn't been prepared for such a vehement objection from his one-time best friend. He also hadn't anticipated the fact that Renesmee might have outside interests, becoming an obstacle herself to the process of acknowledging their bond. And now, Jacob had to admit that he was beginning to doubt what he had once thought of as an inevitability: that he and Renesmee would end up together, sooner rather than later.

It wasn't as if he hadn't been patient. Jacob had waited for seventeen years, which normally wouldn't seem like long enough for someone to grow from a baby into a grown woman, but in Renesmee's case was simply ages. She'd been fully grown now for nearly five years, and Jacob had spent those years cordoning off his every thought, word and action so as not to upset her, her parents or the rest of the Cullen clan. Mentally, physically, Renesmee had been whole and grown for a long time. But her emotional growth was lagging behind, and Jacob sometimes had to wonder if that wasn't the result of her upbringing rather than her physiology. She'd been impossibly sheltered, and he'd been partially responsible for it… and now he was paying the price.

What Jacob found most upsetting of all was the change he'd witnessed in her in recent weeks. Since they'd made their move, there had been a sort of awakening in Renesmee. He couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when the change had begun, but he noticed it just the same. She was more cautious now with her words and the way she acted, a bit more guarded and secretive than before. Until recently, their friendship had always been very physical; they would scrap or shove each other playfully, walk hand-in-hand or arm in arm, hug and kiss each other on the cheek when the situation warranted. Now she barely touched him, and when she did she always retreated quickly, almost guiltily, like she knew she shouldn't be doing it. Jacob missed the physical contact with his imprint more than he could express, and not just because of his attraction to her. It had been a genuine sign of their closeness as friends, completely apart from any romantic ulterior motive on his part, and he felt the loss of that part of their relationship like a blow to his side.

Jacob had also noticed that Renesmee took more time getting dressed in the morning, doing her hair and make up every day instead of her usual chapstick and ponytail routine. It had what he assumed was the desired effect: she looked absolutely beautiful, more mature and put together, like a gorgeous, confident woman rather than a cute, kind of goofy teenager.

Not that Jacob had had a problem with the way Renesmee used to look. He'd always thought she was stunning, even in sneakers and a hoody with no make-up at all. He'd liked the goofy-kid-Renesmee, and it made him happy in a wistful sort of way when that same down-to-earth girl shone through her new, polished persona (which actually happened a lot more than she probably intended it to). But he liked this gorgeous creature just as much… and maybe a lot more, in a really different way.

When he thought it over, all of the changes in their relationship and in Renesmee herself seemed to roughly coincide with her becoming friends with Rideau. Jacob wasn't stupid, and he figured he knew exactly why this was happening. It didn't exactly thrill him that Renesmee was probably falling for the jerk, either, but he knew that if he wanted to keep his promise to his friend, he had to stay out of it.

He knew there had always been the possibility that Renesmee would meet and fall in love with someone else, and from the way he'd understood it the imprint would adjust to accommodate that, allowing him to function in whatever capacity Renesmee needed him to. He'd assumed that meant that he would no longer feel attracted to her romantically or sexually, and simply retain his strong feelings of friendship towards her. No fuss, no muss.

Boy, had he been wrong.

Every time he thought about the possibility that Renesmee might desert him for this ridiculous human, he felt like he was being torn apart. It took him a while, but he finally realized that it wasn't going to get any better; this was how it felt when your imprint didn't return your affections. He felt like he might go insane at any second, and yet he couldn't bring himself to disobey her wishes or do anything that might cause her to be upset with him again. It was like torture.

Except for when she was with him, and they were alone, and there was no mention of Rideau. Then, if even for just a moment, Jacob could forget the horrible discomfort of watching her fall for another guy and just concentrate on her; her eyes, her lips, her smell, her spirit. Jacob, for the first time, allowed himself to admit that he was in love with Renesmee, really and truly and purely in love. He surrendered to it fully, enjoyed it when he could, and in the times when he couldn't enjoy it, allowed it to stop him from doing anything foolish or acting like a complete jerk.

One evening late in October, Jacob came home from seeing a movie alone to find Renesmee and Rideau sitting cross-legged on the floor, open books spread out all around them, and an open bottle of wine and two half-empty glasses between them. They both looked up as he came in, and Renesmee moved like she was going to try and hide he glass of wine from sight before sighing and giving a little shrug.

"Hi, Jake," she said a bit sheepishly. Jacob was sure his eyes were bulging out of his head. As far as he knew, Renesmee didn't drink. She'd had a beer once at Seth's 28th birthday party, of which she'd taken two sips before declaring it absolutely vile and handing it to one of the wolves to polish off. That had been four years ago, and he hadn't seen her go anywhere near alcohol since.

"Hey," he said, trying to sound casual. He nodded at Rideau, who nodded back. "What're you guys up to?" he walked over and glanced down at the books they were working with. "More thesis work?"

Renesmee nodded, cradling the bell of her wine glass in her fingers. "Rideau offered to help me flesh out my topic, so we've been browsing books for hours over a few glasses of wine. I think I'm just about done with this for tonight." She looked up at Jacob with a slightly glazed expression. "You want some wine?"

Jacob would have laughed if he wasn't so furious… Renesmee was at the very least tipsy, if not well on her way to toasted. He felt like he'd been ripped off… as her best friend, he should have been the first one to help her get shit-faced. But no… that prize went to Rideau. The little turd. Jacob decided not to be a pill and, laughing, replied, "I want at least as much as you've had."

Rideau, who looked a fair bit less toasted than Renesmee but still appeared to have had a few, said, "Shouldn't be a problem… she hasn't had all that much."

"Yeah!" Renesmee replied indignantly, getting to her feet. "I haven't!" She swayed a little as she stood, reaching out to steady herself on the closest thing, which happened to be Jacob, before she started for the kitchen, returning with a glass for him. She filled it far too full and handed it over before reclaiming her place on the floor. Jacob downed it in one swig. Usually, he would have at least tried to act civilized by sipping at it politely, but being in this situation with the two of them was making him extremely uncomfortable. With that thought, he decided things would probably work out best for everybody involved if he removed himself from the scene.

"I should let you two get back to studying," he said, making for the stairs. "I'll be in my room."

"No," Renesmee said, grabbing the cuff of his pants from where she sat on the floor like a small child. "Come on, Jake… hang out with us! We're done studying… it'll be fun!" He looked down and could tell from her face that she wanted nothing more than to hang out and talk over a bottle of wine with her two best friends. Damn it.

"Okay," he said, sinking to the floor himself, "I'll take another."

oooOOOooo

It had been at least an hour, and they'd polished off the first bottle and half of the second, and Jacob was nowhere near drunk. They'd mostly spent the time listening to Renesmee talk on and on about her family, omitting any references to blood or wolves with a practiced ease, even in her altered state: fixing cars with Jacob and Rosalie, hunting trips with her "Brothers" Jasper and Emmett ("He took down a bear?" Rideau had asked incredulously. "What did you guys do with it?"), surfing at First Beach with Seth and Embry. Rideau had listened to her with an attentive air, Jacob noticed with some irritation. He had to hand it to the guy, though; he seemed to be trying really hard to bury the hatchet between them, and even though Jacob knew it was probably just because Rideau figured it would make Renesmee happy, he had to respect the effort he was making. He still didn't like him, but he could at least pretend to be a bit friendlier than usual while they were being forced to hang out.

Around the end of the second bottle, Renesmee started to look a bit wilted, and Jacob met Rideau's eye with a pointed look. The other man stood up with a bit of difficulty and said, "I think it's probably time for me to make my way home. It's getting really late."

Renesmee struggled to her feet as well, and Jacob noticed she avoided using him as a steadying post this time. "Are you sure?" she said, sounding a bit concerned. "You don't have to… you could stay here. I mean, we've got space." Jacob almost lost it at that point, and removed himself to the kitchen, picking up the glasses and bottle as a cover. He heard Rideau politely refuse the offer as he strode from the room… good. It was enough to hang out with the guy and pretend to be okay with it, but there was no way he was going to let the little usurper sleep under their roof.

He leaned against the kitchen counter, trying to stop his brain from twitching. He'd narrowly succeeding in foiling what he was sure was Rideau's plan to seduce Renesmee… this time. A late-night study session, an empty loft, a couple bottles of wine… what else could it be? And Renesmee had seemed like she was enjoying herself when Jacob came home and interrupted. But she had asked him to stay and hang out with them. Maybe she wasn't ready to be seduced just yet? He felt relieved at that… he didn't know what he would have done if she'd indicated she wanted to be alone with Rideau.

He heard the door shut and the deadbolt clang into place, and then Renesmee padded clumsily into the kitchen, untwisting her hair from its decorative clip. "I hope he gets home okay," she mused, sounding a bit concerned.

"I'm sure he'll be fine," Jacob said a bit bitterly, "He's like thirty-something… he's probably had a few glasses of wine and had to stumble home many times in his adult life."

"You're thirty-something," She replied, "Do you stumble home drunk on a regular basis?"

Jacob rolled his eyes. "You know I don't. It takes too much alcohol to get me drunk… I'd wreck my liver if I did it too often."

Renesmee sighed and slumped against the doorframe. "I didn't mean to get drunk tonight," she said, sounding miserable, "I just didn't know it would be so easy. I kind of thought I'd be like you, that it would take a lot… but I guess I'm more human than I thought." Jacob had to laugh at that… sometimes she was more human than any of them realized.

"C'mon," he said, taking her by one arm and steering her back into the living room towards the stairs. "Go on up to your room and get yourself ready for bed… I'll bring you some water and a couple Tylenols."

"I feel okay," she insisted as she climbed the stairs crookedly, "I don't have a headache."

"You will," Jacob said sagely as he went to pour her some water. He headed upstairs after getting the glass and the pills, went into his own room to pull on some sweats and a soft cotton shirt, and then knocked on Renesmee's door.

"Come in," she called a bit foggily. Jacob did as he was told, and then burst out in quiet laughter when he saw that she was sprawled across the bed, face-down in her best imitation of a starfish. He sat down at her side, in the 'L' formed by her right arm and leg, and tapped her on the back, holding the glass of water next to her head. Lazily, she rolled onto her side and took the water, pulling her pajama-clad knees up to her chest and propping her head up on the mound of pillows at her headboard. Jacob offered her the pills, which she took and swallowed quickly. "Thanks," she said after she'd downed the whole glass of water. Jacob shrugged.

"It's water… it's free."

Renesmee smacked him lightly on his arm. "I meant for hanging out tonight. I'm really glad you were there. I want you guys to get along. You're my best friend, and Reed's my best friend who isn't you. So he's important, too." She sighed. "It's good when everyone's happy."

Jacob didn't feel anywhere near as happy as Renesmee seemed to think he did, but he sighed and patted her shoulder. He knew he was pushing his luck, but she seemed to be comfortable with the same physical closeness they used to have, and he couldn't help but relish in it. "Yeah. That's always good," he agreed. Renesmee blinked up at him, propping herself up on one elbow to look into his face.

"I want us to always be friends, okay?" She said, and her cheerful expression faltered. "Even if… if something happens that one of us doesn't want to happen. I… I just always want us to be best friends." Jacob felt his heart drop clear out of his chest. This was it… she was admitting to him that she wanted to be with Rideau. She was trying to ask him for his blessing, to find out if she could pursue a relationship with someone else and still keep Jacob as a friend. Maybe she knew how he felt about her, maybe not, but all the same she felt the need to inform him.

What could he possibly say? If this was what she really wanted, he couldn't stop her. She'd dated boys before, and he'd never been this disturbed by it; but then, she'd never acted this strangely before, never changed the way she acted around him. Something was different this time. Obviously, this mattered to her. Jacob realized that he had only two choices: Agree to be her friend no matter what, or lose her. He could object, he could get angry and alienate himself from her, or he could agree to stay friends forever and have at least a bit of her left in his life.

He reached for her hand and took it, feeling how cool and tiny it was in his own. Her fingers were shaking, and he ran his thumb over them instinctively, wanting to comfort and sooth her. "Nessie," he said, looking into her eyes. "I will always be here for you. We're always going to be friends. No matter what."

Renesmee closed her eyes, and for a moment Jacob though he saw a look of intense pain and longing flit across her face. But then she looked at him again and it was gone, and she smiled a small smile and squeezed his hand. "I'm sleepy," she admitted, then grimaced. "I hate falling asleep."

"What'd'you mean?" Jacob asked. It seemed like such a strange thing to say; what was not to like about falling asleep? Renesmee flipped over onto her back.

"I've just always hated it," she said. "Going to bed was always bad enough, but that moment right before going under, when you know you're gonna lose it and you can't help it… it was always my least favorite part of the day, because I knew then I'd be away from everybody for as long as my body decided to be unconscious. I always woke up feeling like I'd missed a part of life. It's why I always liked staying at your house whenever I was allowed… because then there was you and Leah and Seth and Embry, and we'd all be asleep together and I wasn't the weird one and it wasn't lonely."

Jacob couldn't believe he'd never considered that Renesmee might feel bad about being the only one in her family who had to sleep. She'd never mentioned it before, so he'd always assumed it didn't bother her. It was no wonder they called alcohol truth serum. "Well, if it helps you at all, I'll be going to sleep just on the other side of the wall."

Renesmee smiled a bit sadly. "It helps… but it's still the loneliest time of day. I guess it's always going to be." Jacob hated the way her voice sounded, so resigned and melancholy.

"I can stay, if you want," he said, "Just until you're under. Then I'll go to my room and go right to sleep, so you won't be missing out on anything, not even good late-night TV watching." Renesmee looked at him seriously.

"You don't mind?" She said, sounding very young. Jacob smiled down at her and shook his head.

"Not at all."

Renesmee's smile was sleepy and content; Jacob didn't imagine it would be long before she was out like a light. She closed her eyes and opened them a few times before they stayed shut. And just as her breathing was starting to even out, she made a soft, contented noise, squeezed his hand and said, "I can't wait for the future."

And then she was asleep, leaving Jacob to ponder exactly what she imagined her future to be.

In the next chapter:

"I'll get that," Jacob said graciously, reaching for the handset. "Hello? Oh, hey Edward."

Renesmee sat up straight. Her father. She could not deal with him right now. "No, no, no," she mouthed silently at Jacob, waving her hands back and forth to reinforce her point. Jacob raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, Nessie's not here… the library. Yeah, she's working really hard. No, she's not… I think she just likes it." He gave her a thumbs up, and Renesmee slumped back against the sofa cushions. She listened carefully; with her advanced hearing, she could easily make out her father's end of the conversation.

"Do you have a few minutes to talk, Jacob?" Edward asked in a somewhat troubled tone. "I need to speak with you."