"GIIIIIBBS!" Forensic scientist Abby Sciuto wailed as she strode across the office, waving a sheet of paper, the heavy soles of her combat boots thumping on the floor. "What is this?"
Gibbs looked up just in time to have the paper shoved under his nose. "You know Abby does not play well with others in her lab!" she cried indignantly. Gibbs squinted and frowned.
"I don't have my glasses, Abbs," he replied, although he had a feeling he knew what it was.
"Why is Vance doing this?" she growled. "You know how much success I've had with other people in my lab! How much? None! This is bad, Gibbs, really bad... like a worldwide shortage of Caf-Pow bad. Like Sister Rosita spraining her wrist before our big tournament bad..."
Abby started to rant about the order. "And not only that, he's sending away my Tony! And my Ziva! And my McGee! He's breaking up our family again, Gibbs... don't let him..." Gibbs put a hand up to calm her.
"Abbs," he began... when the elevator dinged again and its lone passenger stepped off, visitor pass in hand.
Both Gibbs and Abby looked up to see an... interesting young man walking toward them. He was a little on the shorter side, with shoulder length blond hair and striking green eyes. But his clothing was the most attention-grabbing attribute: the first thing that caught one's eye was his shoes.
They were black, knee-high patent leather boots that laced up the front and were adorned with hot pink stars on the sides... he also wore hot pink jeans (tucked into the boots) and a long sleeved white shirt under a black t-shirt with a silver kitten wearing black framed geek glasses printed on the front. To top it all off, he was carrying a huge zebra print bag and was wearing an armload of brightly colored jelly bracelets.
"Like, dzien dobry!" he greeted them cheerfully. He had a strong eastern European accent and seemed very friendly. "I'm, like, totally lost! Do you know where the..."
"Are those Mad Dash shoes?" Abby interrupted, gawking at the young man's shoes.
"Tak, they are! You like?" he replied, posing like a model in them.
"I love them! I've been trying to get a pair like that forever!"Abby exclaimed. "Where did you find them?"
"You want? I can, like, totally hook you up! No problem!" the man replied, grinning.
"Special Agent Gibbs," Gibbs interrupted, extending his hand to the man. "And you are?"
"Oh, tak," he answered. "Feliks Lukasiewicz. As I was saying, this is a big-as building and I'm, like, totally lost. I'm trying to find the Forensics lab and..." he pulled a paper from his pocket "Abby Sc... Sc..."
"Sciuto?" Abby filled in. This was her assistant?
"Tak, I guess," Feliks replied, showing her the paper. "I..." he laughed sheepishly. "I ended up in the autopsy room. The doctor, he was, like, slicing and dicing... (A/N Gawd, Feliks... you're morbid) good thing I have a totally strong stomach. So... are you Abby?"
"Yeah... you're my assistant?" she asked, in slight disbelief. Even though she still didn't want anybody in her lab, she was beginning to think that this guy wouldn't be that bad. Not worldwide-Caf-Pow-shortage bad or Sister-Rosita's-sprained-wrist bad. But still... maybe she could convince him to just stay out of her way and find other things to do.
"Tak, I guess... like, whatever you need me to help with," he answered cheerfully. Abby looked him up and down.
"I guess... I'll take you to the lab and show you around," she finally said with a somewhat reluctant tone.
"Totally righteous!" Feliks exclaimed.
Just then, Ziva noticed Abby was in the office and motioned for Erszi and Eilat to follow her. "There's Abby that I was telling you about, I'll introduce her," she told the other two women, making her way toward Abby and Feliks. (The four guys- Tony, Lovino, McGee and Eduard- had all gone for lunch.)
"Well, there you are," Erszi called when she spotted the young man. "Get lost or something?"
"Tak," he answered, putting his arm around her and kissing the top of her head. "This is my totally fabulous wife, Erszebet," he told Abby. "She's going to,like, be working here too... Erszi, this is my totally cool new boss Abby. Doesn't she, like, look great?"
"It's nice to meet you, Abby," Erszi responded, grinning as she shook Abby's hand. "Ziva has been telling us about you and from your description, it sounds like the two will get along just fine."
Ziva introduced Eilat to Abby after that, and after the standard getting-to-know-you chitchat, the group dispersed to their various work areas: Erszi went with Ziva, who had been tasked by Gibbs to show her around the building, Eilat went to Director Vance's office to meet with him, and Feliks and Abby went to the elevator that would take them to the forensics lab.
When the elevator doors closed, Feliks turned to Abby with a friendly grin. "I know you're not, like, happy about me being here," he told her.
She sighed. "That obvious, huh?"
"Tak, I could see it. I CAN totally see it," he amended.
"Look," she answered. "It's nothing personal... you seem like a really great person, and really smart, and funny... and you have really great taste in clothes... it's just..." He said nothing, just tilted his head a little and looked at her. "Abby doesn't play well with others when it comes to her lab," she finished, repeating what she had told Gibbs earlier.
"Well, then... I'll just, like, only do what you tell me to," he answered. "And I promise I won't touch any of the toys."
She managed a small smile as the elevator came to a stop and the doors opened. "Now, this is Abby's lab, or as some people call it, 'Labby'. Keep your hands and feet behind the railing, and no eating, drinking or flash photography."
Feliks' eyes widened as he looked around. "Righteous," he whispered as he took in the view...
Abby walked him through all the equipment, explaining a few things about each piece, and he listened attentively, nodding and being careful not to touch anything. He even asked some surprisingly in-depth questions that suggested he really knew his stuff. "Now," she continued, turning to him. "I have a few rules."
"Go for it," he answered.
"One," she began, "always keep your hands where I can see them. I had a completely crazy nutjob as an assistant, and... just keep them where I can see them." At this, he held his hands up and wiggled his fingers. She smiled a little and continued. "Two, if you want Caf-Pow, get your own..."
Feliks frowned. "Caf-Pow?"
"caf-Pow," she answered, picking hers up from her desk and waving it under his nose, "the nectar of the gods... or at least of hardworking forensic scientists. So, anyway, no drinking my Caf-Pow. And, three... if you don't like my music, get earplugs. Got it?"
"What kind of music do you like?" he asked. She didn't say anything, just turned on her player... "What's wrong with this music? It's, like, totally great! What's the band's name?"
"They're called Black Cat White Rat," Abby answered.
"There's like, this band where I come from called Krzyk that sounds a lot like them," he said enthusiastically.
"Really," Abby replied. "I'll have to listen sometime. I always love finding new music..." She grinned at him.
"Tak, I'll get you some of their stuff to listen to! And," he said with a grin, "what size shoe do you wear? I can, like, totally get you a pair of these boots..."
Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.
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Please read these author notes... I wrote them, so I intend for them to be read...
Okaaay... I actually sat and watched a few episodes (we have seasons 1-8 on DVD) in an attempt to write Abby's character right... It may seem like she's warming up to Poland a little too quickly, based on her past interactions with people in her lab (Chip, Fred Rinnert, etc), but there IS a reason for that. Trust me, please. I'm going somewhere with it.
Isn't Po's outfit great? Haha...
Just a reminder... any pairings I do throw in here aren't central to the story. Really.
I realize we still haven't run into Ducky yet, but... he was busy, okay? Like Po said, he was slicing and dicing... ewww, I mean performing an autopsy. So yeah.
I know I've thrown in some Polish throughout, so a quick disclaimer: My upload screwed up all the special characters. My apologies. "Dzien dobry" is like a "good day" type greeting. "Tak" means yes.
Black Cat White Rat and Krzyk (Scream) are both fictional. Of course.
Once again, I own nothing at all. Reviews are welcomed and encouraged, but flames... well, Abby will be able to tell you what kind of accelerant was used to start them. :D