With Dean and Ted Tonks' capture, they are shaken and shattered. Dean returns to recount his harrowing brush with death.
Ted Tonks doesn't.
The funeral held for him was supposed to be peaceful. His wife and daughter had the right to grieve for him in peace but that is too much to hope for in this nightmarish place.
There's always some tiny lapse, always some tiny fault-line...
The funeral was disrupted by the Death Eaters. It isn't like before, when they weren't yet taken over completely by Voldemort. Now, there's just no escape. It isn't anymore something that you could miss by a hair's breadth and then heave a sigh of relief, and maybe even laugh about, reassured by the fact that there's still time until the danger is to become imminent.
They're hanging by a thread now, until Harry comes out into the picture, and ends it, for better or worse.
They're groping in the dark. They don't know if they stand a chance, if they're just fools who have retreated into hideouts, having pinned all their hopes on a hapless teenager, waiting for him to rescue them all.
The Burrow is now home to three more people: Remus Lupin, his wife Nymphadora and her mother, Andromeda Tonks.
Their mum keeps inviting Bill and Fleur too so they'd always be before her eyesight, as if that would somehow protect them from danger. But as for them, they really prefer Shell Cottage over the Burrow's stuffiness.
When all is said and done, it meant that Tonks would be having her child at the Burrow.
It would have been a merry, albeit a little frantic scenario. If not for Ted Tonks' death.
After the incident, they've grown even more cautious, if that's possible. They have passed around the word - through Potterwatch , through secret fire-place meetings - to make use of the fake Galleons that they had used in Harry's fifth year for scheduling the D.A. meetings. The move is more in view of the friends who are still in Hogwarts. They had conducted the D.A. meetings under Umbridge and it hadn't been easy. Now, to even communicate anything under the Carrows is a feat, and not to mention, a suicide in its literal sense.
Days pass, with no word from their brother, or Harry, or Hermione. But they all keep faith. It's faith that keeps them going from one day to the next.
Tonks never regains all of her old verve, but she improves by the day. It's hard not to, when she is surrounded by them all – with their mum going out of her way to make her feel at home, with Ginny being a source of friendship.
With Lupin, a changed man, who has forgotten all his fears and worries in the face of a scarier future. It's his wife, carrying his child. The love and the protectiveness that simple truth brings out in him is unmistakable.
Because there's only enough time to love
Until it runs out.
Which is what makes George hold onto Fred tighter, what makes him forget how he dies a little inside every time Fred touches him in a way he never should have.
And what makes Fred close his eyes to how George lies to his face, how his heart breaks every time they make love.
"You're doing it again." Ginny says.
"What?" Fred says distractedly.
"You're staring at your twin."
Fred laughs. "So what? He's beautiful."
Ginny chokes on her butterbeer. "That's a whole new level of being funny!"
It's a cool night outside, but they're safe and warm for now in their home, bellies full after a lovely dinner that they all had made together.
George is in the living room, sitting on the floor with their mum, dad, and Mrs. Tonks, while a heavily pregnant Tonks and Lupin sit together on their couch. It's a pretty sight, with the fiery yellow light from the fireplace throwing their forms into sharp reliefs. They're chattering calmly; George is right beside Tonks' feet, and they keep passing some note back and forth, with frequent bursts of laughter.
Fred had been sitting with his twin, squished together with him on the floor with their backs against the couch; the physical closeness they share is not given a second glance by anyone.
Then sometime later, George decided to stretch out on the floor and rest his head on Fred's lap. Fred's chest had filled with that same aching weight. He sat with his eyes on him and a hand in his hair for some time, watching the fire's light play on his face, watching his lips form a smile, or a laugh, or words that brought forth laughter from them all...
But then the ache grew into a turbulent love, and he wished if he could lean down and kiss those lips - just a soft, brief one, just so he could ease some of that weight off his chest.
He had to gently push George from his lap and walk out of the room. George had looked at him with a confused, fading smile; Fred had just smiled quietly in return, and his twin understood that he wanted to be left alone.
He had come out to the patio, with a bottle of beer in his hand, when Ginny joined him on the small bench with a bottle of her own.
Fred takes his eyes away from the window and looks at Ginny. She's looking at him with slight concern... a slight, strange confusion..
Fred raises his brows questioningly. "What?"
"You both have been acting funny."
"We always act funny, what's so new about that?"
"You know what I mean." Ginny narrows her eyes.
"No I don't." Fred replies coolly.
Ginny shakes her head, eyes turning softer at him. She sighs, "I don't know, Fred. It's just.."
"It's just what?"
"Just the way you both can't get enough of being with each other."
Maybe the physical closeness they share is not given a second glance by anyone, except Ginny.
"Mhm," Fred narrows his eyes at her.
Ginny looks at him, and grows flustered. "Fuck, Fred, I don't know. Just.. I want you to know that this war is affecting us all equally."
"Right."
"And, mum and dad are busy with Tonks and Lupin so, maybe you feel they're not, giving you enough time or something-"
"We're not two year olds, Ginny." Fred cuts in. "Or... Ron." he adds.
Ginny lets out a small breath of laughter. She looks down at the bottle in her hand, turning it around absently. "Why do you lock your bedroom door?"
Fred's heart flips. He doesn't show a hint of the alarm as he remains composed. "Where the fuck did that come from?"
"Well, it comes from how I came up to call you both for breakfast and I found it locked." she looks up at him, "You never used to lock it. Least of all with a permanent charm."
"We may have our reasons. It isn't necessary we share all details with you."
"You brewed illegal potions in there and you never bothered locking your door."
Fred looks at her for a few beats. She doesn't back off from the eye contact. Eventually Fred looks away, taking a sip of his beer. "I appreciate your concern for us, Ginny, but really, it's nothing to get your wand in a knot."
"Well," Ginny scratches a nail at her bottle's label, carefully peeling it. "You both have never shared a thing with us anyway, so, to think that you would now is stupid."
"Mhm, you're right."
Ginny looks up at him, this time with hurt colouring her eyes.
Fred only sighs and avoids her gaze, staring ahead at their front yard. It's dark; the faint yellow light from their house shades the nearby rosebushes and the ground, and the faint moonlight bathes the rest of the land.
"I remember your sixth year," she says quietly after sometime, "When you were juggling all your...order forms and, joke products and..and that idiot Bagman,"
"Mhm,"
"We used to hound you, wondering what it is you're being so covert about. Ron, mostly. Not me. I never used to bother because, it wasn't like this before, with you two being the only ones around.."
Fred nods, not knowing how else to respond.
"You both always used to be..glued together, always whispering about god knows what, always worried out of your minds, growing thin and pale and your eyes were...you had dark circles under them, like you never slept,"
"Merlin's pants, what you used to tail us or something? Like that little horror – what's his name? Ah,"
"Colin Creevey," they say together, then share a brief laughter.
"Well, I am your sister aren't I?" she returns, "So, I do notice when you seem off."
"Oh I thank my lucky stars."
"And you used to threaten Ron with this same bullying tone," Ginny continues, "Fuck off...nose out...its none of your business..."
"And I guess I'll have to repeat the same things to you too now."
Ginny looks at Fred, suddenly pissed. "Oh, no need for that. I just was concerned, that's all."
Fred sighs. "Hey,"
Ginny looks down at her lap, a little angry and forlorn.
Fred shifts close to her, and without further words or warning, hugs her close with an arm. He's taken aback when Ginny breaks down suddenly.
"Hey, hey," Fred places the bottle he has in his other hand down on the ground and hugs her properly. She rests her head on his chest, and sobs uncontrollably. Fred tries to calm her with comforting words and a hand rubbing against her back.
"I'm just..scared Fred," she whispers. "I look at you both and you seem so content in your world and, if no one else then you'll always have each other.."
And Fred quickly realizes that this was never about their secret. Ginny has no idea that there could even be such a thing as them being anything more than brothers.
"I'm scared that I'll have no one like that," she moans, "I'm scared..I'm so scared that I'll lose Harry to this stupid war, I'll lose him and I'll have no one.."
"There isn't any guarantee that one of us won't kick the bucket in this war either." Fred says quietly.
"Shut up, Fred!" she sobs harder, clutching tightly at his shoulders. She stays like that for a long time, his words echoing dully in her ears. "Are you stupid? How could you say such things!" she whispers harshly, holding him tightly. Fred is at loss for words as he holds her back awkwardly. This war is bringing out the extreme in everyone; he has never seen Ginny lose her composure like this.
She extricates herself from his arms after sometime. She sniffs, avoiding his gaze. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm stupid, it's stupid,"
"No, no," Fred pats her head gently. He sighs. "I'm sorry. You were just being concerned and I-"
"Was being insensitive again." she laughs thickly.
"I'm sorry,"
"Nah, it's okay.." Ginny smiles at him, wiping at her eyes fiercely.
They sit quietly for some time, both avoiding looking at each other. Fred is a little shaken and feels miserable. He releases a breath he didn't realize he had been holding, and tries not to feel sick of the constant pain that seems to have taken a permanent residence in his heart.
A sudden shriek from inside the house snaps them rudely out of their bubble.
"Oh my god!" Ginny yells.
Everything about their depressing conversation flies out of Fred's head, and he grins widely.
Because Tonks is clutching at her full belly and gasping, grinning and wincing all at once.