Stupid Finnick. Hell, curse Finnick.
Here he was, telling me to go to bed early and get a good night's rest, and then he just had to go ahead and kiss me? Did he really expect me to sleep at all after that? Well, I did occasionally doze off, but mostly throughout the night I thought about Finnick and why he kissed me. Once, I dreamed that we were at our wedding, and the flower girl turned out to be Ellie in her ghost form. It didn't help my situation, and the dream just etched the image of Ellie in a white dress deeper into my mind.
I guess if his purpose was to get my mind away from the Games, then it worked beautifully. Until Ellie came along.
Sometimes I wish I had kissed him back. Other times I wish I had slapped his face and bolted out of the room.
By the time the sun has come up, I know that there's no way I'm going to sleep anymore. I sit up and stretch. This will most likely be my last time sleeping on a bed. So I should savor every moment of it.
Why did Finnick kiss me, anyway? Did he actually like me? What did he see in me?
Perhaps he kisses all the District Four tributes before the Games. Yes, that must be it! It's rather ridiculous, and I can't imagine him kissing any of the male tributes (did he kiss them on the cheek instead? That's still rather weird), but it was the only feasible conclusion I can draw. There's nothing special about me. There can't be. Sure, I'm immune to his seduction skills, but besides that, I'm really just...me. Maybe it's only an attraction. Then again, maybe not. I want to talk to him and get to the bottom of my crazy emotions, but unfortunately I've ran out of time. In a couple of hours, I'll be in the arena.
Well, there's no point wondering whether Finnick likes me or not, seeing that I'll be dead in less than a week. Though Annie Odair has a nice ring to it.
Argh, stop it, Annie! Stop thinking about Finnick!
Think about something else! My training score is a good topic! I doubt I'll have a lot of sponsors by getting a five. That just lowers my spirits, so I stop thinking altogether.
A piece of rope...I could really use a piece of rope right now. Hmm...without rope, I suppose my hair will have to do. I absently begin braiding and knotting my hair until it's in an unpresentable mess.
Now it'll take forever to untie, and I certainly don't have forever ahead of me.
There's a soft rapping noise coming from my door. I jump, and call out in a shaky voice, "W-Who's there?"
"It's me," the voice outside says. It's muffled by the door, yet I can recognize that voice anywhere. Finnick Odair. Preferably not in his underwear.
"What do you want?" I ask, instantly alarmed. My voice sounds a tad too high for my liking. Images of last night's kiss come pouring back into my head.
There's a few minutes of silence, as though he's deciding how to answer my question. "You're awake rather early, Annie," he remarks. Deciding to avoid my question, huh?
And whose fault is that? I want to retort, but I slip out of bed and open the door for him. "Are you allowed to be here, especially when...?" I ask, trailing off because I have no intention of completing the sentence.
He reaches a hand forward and pats me on my head. "I just wanted to see you again," he blurts out. I frown. Finnick usually doesn't act so...uncollected. This is the first time I've seen him like this. With a jolt, I realize that it's the non-Capitol view of Finnick I've fallen for. Not the arrogant, I-own-everything-because-I'm-gorgeous-and-I-won-the-Hunger-Games-at-age-fourteen Finnick.
Wow, I'm really slow on picking things up, aren't I? Even Davis had noticed before I did! Mags probably figured it out, too.
"Is this...our final goodbye, then?" I murmur, painfully aware of the proximity between us.
"I haven't been giving you very good advice as your mentor, huh?" He asks abruptly. "I've just been...preoccupied. I must be an awful mentor to you, especially when your life is on the line."
I laugh humorlessly. "You...you're a coward, Finnick, you know that?" He flinches, and in the silence I force myself to continue, "Apologizing to me last minute like that."
Did he deserve my being cruel? I don't know. My emotions are so messed up right now, and I'm torn between screaming at him and kissing him.
To my surprise, Finnick says, "I think you're right, Annie. I have...never been called a coward before, but just now, being called that by you has smacked some sense into me. Who knows? If I had stood up against Snow, he never would've forced me into the whole prostitution thing. Instead, I let him drag me around and pull the strings. I'm despicable."
"Well, now, you don't have to go scolding yourself over it," I argue. "Besides, what about your family? Would you really have sacrificed them for your own happiness?"
"That would be very selfish of me," Finnick agrees. "Here's some advice for today, Annie."
Changing the subject, are we? I force myself to listen, because if there's any chance I can last in the arena, I have to follow the advice he gives me.
He puts an arm on my shoulder and squeezes it as he continues, "Whatever you do, don't go for the Cornucopia. That's where the initial bloodbath is, and if you can't defend yourself, there's no chance...Just wait until you find Davis."
"Thanks," I manage, and, noticing that we are still standing, I stride back to my bed and sit down.
"What happened to your hair, Cresta?" Finnick asks. "It's a mess."
"Thanks for noticing," I grumble. "Er, I couldn't sleep, and there aren't any ropes lying around, so obviously I can't tie ropes..."
He nods sympathetically before joining me on my bed. A part of me immediately panicked, but the other part told me to stay put and have nature work its forces. Now, if only nature is on my side...
I shiver when I feel his fingers in my hair. "What are you doing?" I yelp, batting his hand away.
"You untied that rope when we first met," he whispers intently, "I'm merely returning the favor. Besides, I don't want Sandra to start complaining about having to cut off all your hair later."
I shudder at the thought.
So...was this how it was? Finnick liking me? Did he like me? Was it because I untied that piece of rope at the beach the reason he took an interest in me?
I can feel his fingers working effortlessly through my hair. It's a miracle he can untie all those knots, because otherwise I really will have to have every last strand of my hair cut off.
He's so infuriating! And he hasn't mentioned the kiss last night at all!
I had to get to the bottom of this. If I don't, I have a feeling I'll forever regret not talking to him about it. I had to focus in the arena, and there's no way I can focus if the only thought in my mind is Finnick's kiss.
"Why'd you kiss me last night?" I blurt out finally, having worked up the courage to confront him.
His hands stop working in my hair. "I..." He takes a deep breath, but he doesn't answer. Say something! I beg him silently, Anything! Even a rejection works! Hello, Finnick? I'm kind of desperate right now...
Well, not desperate, but I wanted to know so badly that it hurt.
"I'm sorry," he says at last.
What he says next makes my blood run cold. "It was inappropriate of me."
Disclaimer: The Hunger Games belongs to the amazing Suzanne Collins.
Hmm...not as many reviews for the last chapter (despite the fluff), but here's the next. Leave a review? (remember, reviews help motivate me to update faster!)