Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.
Can someone please explain what is going on with Chuck this season? First Evelyn is Chuck's mom, and she died giving birth to him. Then his mother is Elizabeth Fisher, and she sold him out by giving his hotel to Jack. Now his mother is Diane, and she slept with his best friend and doesn't know who his father is. On top of all of that, the love of his life got married to some prince, got that annulled and then started dating some guy from Brooklyn. I think it's safe to say the show has jumped the shark. My only reason to tune in is the hope that my Chair is going to find their way back to each other. Wishful thinking?
Rant over – Enjoy.
"I have a bump," Blair insisted as she lay in bed with Chuck, who was squinting his eyes, straining to see what she saw.
"Blair, I don't see anything," Chuck replied, his eyes softening.
"It's a bump, I have a bump," she pouted as she pointed to her stomach with fingers from both hands.
"I think you're becoming paranoid and imagining it," he told her as his hand trailed down her abdomen as he nuzzled her neck.
"I am not," she insisted as she brushed his hand away. If he wasn't going to see what she saw, she didn't want him touching her.
"You're not even three months pregnant," he reminded her, "It's too soon."
"No, it's not," she insisted, "We are a week away from our wedding. My mother and I have prepared my dress for this specific reason. I have a bump."
"We're still nine days away from the wedding," he chuckled, "Which is more than a week away."
"Nine days, seven days, it's two days difference, certainly not enough to make a difference in this discussion. I have a bump."
"This is by far the stupidest conversation we will have today," he grumbled, "Blair, I know every inch of your body by heart. I know when you're retaining water or when you've put on a bit of winter weight simply by touch. There is no bump."
"I have gained weight, you know," she replied, "I stepped on the scale before I went to bed last night. I've gained five pounds."
"That doesn't mean they've all settled in your abdomen," he replied, "In fact, I'd wager that one, maybe two of those pounds settled in your chests. They are looking a little more amble than usual."
"Be serious," she scolded him.
"And even if those other three pounds settle at your stomach, that'd not enough to produce the bump that you're suggesting," he told her.
"I have a bump. I want a bump, so I have a bump," she held firm.
Chuck's face froze at her proclamation. Her words tumbled around in his head for a moment. He'd been operating under the assumption that she didn't want to have a baby bump this soon, simply because of the potential issue it caused with her wedding dress.
"You want a bump," he repeated.
"Yes," she insisted, "I like the idea of a baby bump because then I have the reminder of the life you and I are starting together."
"The food cravings and mood swings aren't enough?" he chuckled.
"I wanted a couple of hot dogs and suddenly you think I'm out of control with food cravings," she sighed, "Those cravings are mild compared to some of the random foods Dorota ate during her first pregnancy."
"Something to look forward to," he chuckled.
"So now that you know that I want a baby bump, does that change your answer?" she inquired.
"No," he shook his head, "Because you don't have a bump. Even if you do, which you don't, it's an infinitesimal amount, certainly nothing visible to the naked eye."
"You are such a buzz kill," she rolled her eyes as she rolled out of bed.
"That's not what Nathaniel has said all these years. In fact, quite the opposite, he said he always got the best buzzes being around me," he chuckled as he followed her into the bathroom where she was drawing herself a bath to start her day properly, "Isn't it easier to keep our secret if we're not explaining this fictitious bump you think you have?"
"It's not fictitious," she insisted as she picked up a bar of soap to throw in his direction, "And as you just said the bump is barely noticeable, so who would ask?"
"So you're conceding to the fact that this bump you think you have isn't noticeable," he smirked.
"It's barely noticeable," she corrected him, "Only to those that are privileged enough to see me in the full state of undress. That is a list of two people, you and me, so only you and me should be able to see it, but apparently only one of us can."
"Maybe you see the bump because you're the one carrying our child," he offered up an olive branch, "You feel your body changing, so it would make sense that you see the minuscule changes when I can't."
"That's a weak argument," she replied.
"But one that I'm sticking with."
"You are right about one thing," Blair stated as she slipped into the tub, "This is without a doubt the stupidest argument we will be having today because I'm right and you're wrong, which makes this whole argument pointless."
"Is there room for two?" he inquired as he bent over the tub and grabbed a handful of suds and piled them on her nose.
"No," she shook her head as she stuck out her lip in a delicious pout.
"If I lie and say I see the bump, will you let me in?"
"No," she continued to shake her head, "Because now I know you're lying."
"Come on, Beautiful, I'll wash your back," he turned on the charm.
"No," she repeated, "I don't want to share a bathtub with someone that is mocking my baby bump."
"I never mocked your baby bump."
"You're questioning its existence, same thing," she replied as she motioned him away, "Now leave me to enjoy my bubble bath."
"I love you," he stated as he brushed his lips against hers.
"I love you too," she smiled as she motioned him away a second time, "Now leave."
"Charles, this is a surprise," Lily smiled as she greeted her son with a hug.
"I was hoping we could have that discussion that I cut short the other night," he explained his surprise appearance.
"You're seeking me out for a conversation," she eyed him skeptically, "Forgive me for not believing that is your only motive."
"Chuck, what a surprise," Rufus greeted Chuck with a handshake, "Lil, did you know he was coming?"
"I'm as surprised as you," Lily smiled.
"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" Chuck cleared his throat nervously.
"Nonsense, we're never too busy for our children," Lily assured him. There was a nervous pause in the conversation as Chuck looked between Lily and Rufus.
Rufus read the silence perfectly and quickly excused himself.
"Come, we'll have more privacy in my office," Lily threaded her arm through his as she led him up the staircase to her office. Once they were seated, Lily asked, "So, where would you like to start today?"
"I want to do something special for Blair," he began, "I want to give her something."
"You don't need my permission for that," Lily responded as she eyed him curiously, "Unless you want my opinion."
"Actually, I need access to your safe," Chuck replied, "We both know that is were Bart left his most cherished possessions. I never asked for any of them because I had no use for them."
"You want your mother's earrings," Lily guessed.
"If that's okay with you," Chuck stated. It suddenly occurred to him that perhaps Bart had given them to Lily during their courtship.
"Of course," Lily replied as she punched in the access code into the keypad. With a click, the door opened. Lily rifled through the vault's contents until she found the box he was asking for. "Your father would be so proud and happy for you right now, if he was here."
"Fathering a child out of wedlock, trading the love of my life to my uncle for a hotel, deflowering my stepmother's stepdaughter, stealing the fiancée of a prince, yes, there is so much to be proud of," he grumbled.
"We both know that none of that would have happened had he been alive," Lily replied as she rubbed his shoulder as she handed him the box.
He peered inside the box and admired the modest silver design. "They were her favorite," Chuck replied as he traced the unusual apple shape. "Bart bought them for her just before they moved to Manhattan. They didn't have that much money back then, but he had this vision that he needed to be in New York City to build his empire. He said that she had complete faith in him and would follow him wherever he needed to be. She wore the earrings religiously for the first year. After that first year, his empire exploded and he started showering her with jewelry, but she wore them every year on their anniversary."
"Bart never told me any of this," Lily replied, "He just said to make sure that if anything ever happened to him that I should make sure that you had them."
"He probably doesn't remember telling me," Chuck sighed, "He pulled the earrings out on their anniversary every year and then would proceed to drown his sorrows with a good bottle of whiskey. One year, I caught him two thirds of the way through."
"I didn't know your father drank whiskey; I always thought his drink of choice was scotch, like you," Lily replied.
"As his fortune grew, his taste for scotch grew with it," Chuck explained, "He always saw whiskey as the drink of those less fortunate. I have no idea why he thought that. It might be because it was his old man's drink, and he never had more than two coins to rub together."
"You know far more about your father's past than I've ever given you credit for," Lily replied.
"Whiskey removed his inhibitions. Had I asked the right questions, he probably would have told me anything I asked," Chuck paused for a few moments to look at the earrings again. "I should have known Elizabeth was an imposter. My mother would never have given up these earrings."
"She fooled us all, perhaps even herself," Lily replied as she caressed his shoulder.
"Blair and I talked more about my diagnosis," he confessed.
"That's good," Lily replied, "You should keep talking about it, keep talking until you both know everything there is to know, and even then you should still talk about it."
"I'm afraid I'm going to hurt her again," he admitted, "I don't trust myself not to hurt her."
"That is what the medication that you're taking is supposed to prevent," Lily reminded him.
"It's not the cure all, Lily," he snapped in frustration, "I can still have manic and depressive episodes. All the medication is supposed to do is make them less severe. Even now I could be in a manic state and not even know it. What if Blair fell in love with my manic state?"
"You are more than this disease," Lily told him, "Manic episodes, depressive episodes, and everything in between, you are still you. Blair fell in love with you, all of you. Is life going to be smooth sailing? Probably not. We are all going to be here to help you through this, that includes me and especially Blair."
"I don't understand how everyone can just look past this."
"Because we love you," Lily explained.
"But why?" he demanded, "Nobody has to, yet why have you chosen to?"
"Because you are an amazing person with an enormous capacity for love," Lily replied, "You just needed someone to pull that out of you."
"Blair," he smiled.
"Blair," Lily agreed. "Speaking of Blair, how are the wedding preparations coming along?"
"Thanks to the army of wedding coordinators that I hired, all that remains are Blair and Serena's dress fittings," Chuck smiled.
"And her pregnancy, how is that going? Any morning sickness yet?"
"None that I'm aware of," he replied, "We argued this morning about her belly bump. She insists she has one. I don't see it. I'm confident that I'm right, but I'm not going to change her mind. To keep the peace, I won't comment further until there is a noticeable bump to comment on."
"Wise man," Lily chuckled, "If you have any questions, I'm always available, no matter the time of day."
"I know," he nodded, "Thank you."
"It's what mothers do," she smiled as she hugged him.
TBC. . .
I know this is a bit fluffy, but after suffering through last night's episode I think we can all use it.