Chapter 34

While Paige played video games with the guys, Emily went for a run with Spencer, and then the two of them met up with the girls at The Brew for coffee, conversation, and, ostensibly, homework. After a couple hours they called it a day, the four of them going their separate ways for the evening. Emily headed home, a spring in her step at the thought that Paige would be meeting her there shortly. She'd kept her cell phone on, in case her girlfriend needed to get a hold of her, but it had remained silent, and she was brimming with curiosity over how things had gone, if Paige had told them, what they had said.

As she approached her house, she noticed Paige's car in the driveway, though the other girl was nowhere in sight. She felt a momentary flash of panic, more instinctual than reasoned, at the thought of Paige and her mother being alone together, before she remembered that Paige and her mom got along just fine. More than fine, actually. They were growing close.

Her mom's interest in Paige was more than just the standard, parental attentiveness. She cared for her the same way that she would for any of Emily's friends, more so, even, she suspected, and it warmed her heart to see her mother so invested in her girlfriend's life. It meant that not only had she accepted Emily's sexuality, but that she accepted her relationship, and she took it seriously. She wasn't dismissing what the two of them shared, because it was between two girls, or because they were in high school.

Emily let herself into the house, and followed the sound of voices into the kitchen, only to pull up short at the sight of Paige sitting at the kitchen table, crying into her mother's shoulder, as her mother stroked her hair and whispered soothing words.

Her heart wrenched at the image of Paige in pain.

Her mom looked up, catching her eye over the top of Paige's head and offered a soft smile.

"What's wrong? Paige, sweetie, what happened?" She rushed forward, and placed a hand on Paige's shoulder. With an audible gulp and a shaky breath, Paige peeled herself from Pam and turned, wrapping herself around Emily instead. Her arms tightened almost painfully around Emily's back, and her tears were hot against the skin of Emily's neck as she buried her face.

"Paige?" Her heart slammed in her chest, her worry growing when Paige only mumbled something incoherently. She glanced to her mom for help, as she wrapped her arms around Paige and cradled her to her body.

"She's okay, honey. Just a bit emotional." Pam rubbed a soothing hand across Paige's back as she stood. "Why don't you take her into the living room and get settled while I take care of dinner."

Feeling confused, but also relieved that her mom didn't seem overly concerned, Emily gently guided Paige out of the room, shuffling her somewhat awkwardly over to the couch, and then pulling her down. It only took a few minutes to arrange themselves, with Emily sitting against the arm rest, and Paige curled up against her, leaning into her side. Though, anxious to know what had put Paige in such a state, she knew not to push, focusing on comfort instead, smoothing her hand across Paige's back and shoulders and running her fingers through her hair.

Eventually, Paige's tears subsided, and her breathing returned to normal, aside from the occasional hiccup and sniffle. When she felt like Paige had sufficiently calmed, she caressed her cheek, then tipped her head, getting her to look at her.

"Paige, what happened?"

Paige sighed heavily and swiped at the tear tracks running down her cheeks. "I'm sorry. I'm such a mess. Do I have racoon eyes?"

"It's fine," Emily said. "I'm more worried about you, than whether or not your mascara is smudged. And, you're beautiful. Even when you cry."

Paige rolled her eyes. "Yep, puffy-faced, red-rimmed eyes, and snot nosed is my best look."

"Trust me, you wear it well," Emily said, eyes travelling over Paige's face to find that the evidence of her tears wasn't as devastating as Paige seemed to think it was, and despite the situation, vulnerability and openness did look good on her.

Paige shook her head. "You're crazy."

"Crazy about you."

Paige let out a sound that was somewhere between a snort, and a laugh. "Would you like some wine with that cheese?"

"Got you to smile, didn't I?"

"Yeah, awkwardly. In embarrassment for your lack of game. The same way you smile and nod at the crazy guy shouting obscenities on the street corner."

Emily huffed, pretending to be offended, and Paige leaned in, whispering an apology against her lips before kissing her softly. Her lips were slightly chapped, and salty from her tears, but it was still one of the sweetest kisses they had shared.

When they pulled apart, Paige rested her head on Emily's shoulder and absently played with her fingers, where they rested on Emily's lap. With her free hand, Emily combed her fingers through Paige's hair, scratching her scalp lightly, before sifting through the strands, all the way down to their ends. Paige let out a contented sigh.

"I told Caleb and Toby this afternoon," she said softly, directing her words to their conjoined hands. "I had the whole scenario built up so much in my mind, I thought it was going to be this big, dramatic thing. That I was going to tell them and it was going to be this moment, y'know?"

Emily nodded, even though Paige wasn't looking at her, she would feel the motion.

"So, we're playing, and I'm distracted, and they're kicking my ass. Toby pauses the game and asks me what's up, and I know, this is it, this is my moment. I turn to him, glance over at Caleb and just say it. I look them both in the eye and say, 'I'm gay."

"And?" Emily prods, wanting to know what prompted Paige's emotional breakdown of a few minutes ago.

"And…nothing. Caleb said okay. And Toby nodded, and asked me if I wanted to talk about it. I said no, not really, I just wanted them to know. Caleb says okay again. And Toby says, thanks for telling us. Then, I told them that you and I were dating."

"And?"

Paige shrugged.

Emily had a feeling that the boys hadn't said nothing. Probably teased her a little, which she understood Paige not wanting to repeat, so she let it slide.

"It was all so…anticlimactic. Which, I guess is a good thing. I'm glad that they didn't get all weird about it, I just….I…"

Finally, Emily got it. Paige hadn't been reacting to anything that had happened, it was more a release of all the pent up emotions she'd been experiencing over the last while.

"I know," she murmured, pressing a kiss to Paige's temple. "Now that you've told them, now that they know, are you okay?"

Paige nodded against her shoulder. "I'm glad they know. And, I'm glad that I was the one to tell them. It would have been so easy to just let you let Spencer and Hannah tell them. Then, they'd know, but I wouldn't have actually had to say the words, and…I don't know, I feel like I needed to tell them."

Emily understood that, though it made her wonder about something, something she hadn't considered before. "Do you regret that I told the girls? Would you have rather have told them yourself?"

Paige was quiet for a long moment, before letting out a soft sigh. "I don't know? Maybe a little. But, also, no."

Emily chuckled at the absolute nonsensical answer.

"I get why you needed them to know. I didn't before, not really. I couldn't understand why anyone needed to know about us, why it was so important for you to tell your friends. I would have rather had it be a complete secret."

Emily frowned, she hadn't known that. Paige hadn't said anything.

"I didn't think about how hard the lying, the sneaking around, would be on you. How it would be like denying who you were, taking a step backward. Not really. Because I was being selfish. I wanted to be with you, and none of the rest of it mattered."

"Paige…" Emily didn't like where this was going.

"But, I get it now. Why you felt like they needed to know. Why you had to tell them. So, I'm glad that you had that, you had a few people who were in on the secret. But, at the same time, I kind of wish that I got to tell them about me."

"I'm sorry, for taking that opportunity away from you."

"It's fine. But, do you think you could have them, like, pretend to be surprised if I decide I want to tell them myself?"

Emily couldn't help but laugh lightly. "You're ridiculous. But, yes, if you want to, I can."

Paige pressed a kiss against her collarbone. "Thank you."

They cuddled, and talked quietly, until Emily's mother called from the kitchen that dinner was almost ready. With a groan, Paige untangled herself from Emily and stood, saying that she was going upstairs to wash up. Feeling lonely on the couch by herself, Emily pushed herself to her feet and made her way into the kitchen.

Her mom was at the stove, stirring something. On impulse, Emily approached from behind and wrapped her arms around her in a tight hug.

Her mom laughed lightly and patted her arm. "Not that I'm not appreciative, but what's this for?"

"I love you," she mumbled into the side of her mother's neck.

"I love you too, honey." Pam gently extracted herself from Emily's grasp so she could spin around and return the embrace. "What brought this on?" she asked gently as they pulled apart, and began working in tandem to get dinner onto serving platters.

"Thank you, for taking care of Paige earlier. And for whatever you've been saying to Mrs. McCullers this last week."

"Well, honey, of course I'd do whatever I could, to take care of Paige, or any of your friends."

Emily nodded, understanding that with the sentence, her mom wasn't demoting Paige's status to that of "just a friend," but simply including her into the sentiment. A distinction she probably wouldn't have been able to make even a few weeks ago.

"And as for Maureen, to be honest we don't really discuss you girls much. Contrary to popular belief, my world doesn't actually revolve around you," Pam said, giving her a shoulder bump and a teasing smile.

Emily bumped her back.

"The first time we met for coffee, Maureen did bring it up," Pam said, getting serious for a moment. "How I could reconcile "the sin," she said, putting air quotes around the word "with the love of a mother, and we debated bible verse and theology for a while. From there, she wanted to know how I've had to adjust my dreams for your future. And I told her that, despite some initial shock and concern, I haven't. You can still get married and give me grandbabies, if that's what you want. And, you better want that," she added, pointing an accusing finger at Emily. Though, the smile that accompanied her words took out any weight they might otherwise have held. "And you can still go to whichever college that you chose, and be whatever you want to be. You're still the same Emily your father and I raised. And, our love for you hasn't changed, nor has the prospects for your future."

Emily swallowed around the lump in her throat.

"I don't know if I really swayed her, or if she was just waiting for an excuse to concede, but I think I got her thinking about things. Since then, we haven't discussed it."

Emily nodded and gave her mother a side-ways hug, squeezing tightly as she pressed a kiss to her cheek.

Paige entered the kitchen a moment later, looking a little more chipper than she had previously, her face freshly scrubbed, and her eyes clear and bright. She sidled up to the counter alongside Emily and Pam, and immediately started helping with getting dinner set onto the table. Having been a staple around the Fields house so much lately, Pam no longer tried to insist that she was a guest, therefore shouldn't help out, and Paige no longer had to ask what needed to be done. The routine came second nature to all of them now.

It didn't take long before the table was set, and they were ready to take their seats. As always, Paige held Emily's chair out for her, before moving around the table to get Pam's. This time, however, Paige stopped Pam from sitting with a gentle touch to her am, and when she turned, Paige engulfed her in a hug. Emily couldn't hear the words they exchanged, but when they pulled apart, they were both smiling.

Dinner was full of laughter and conversation, and when it was over, Emily and Paige rose to clear the table and take care of the dishes, while Pam retired into the other room to relax. It was all very much their routine now, one that they fell into easily and with little discussion.

The girls were just finishing up with the dishes when Pam strode into the room, carrying her laptop. "Hey, Em. You're dad's on. He wants to say hello." She put the computer down on the kitchen table, and pulled out the chair in front of it, gesturing Emily into it.

Emily eagerly dropped into place, a smile forming on her lips before she'd even settled, before she'd even caught sight of her father's face on screen.

"Emmy." She saw him before she heard him, his voice filling the kitchen as if he were standing in the room.

"Daddy." She wiped at her eyes, even as she smiled up at him.

"And, you must be Paige."

Emily turned at the sound of his voice to find her mom similarly guiding Paige into the seat next to hers.

Paige nodded at her father's words, her gaze flicking up to meet his before falling to stare at the table top. "Yes, Sir."

"I've heard a lot about you," he said, chuckling lightly.

Her head shot up, looking first at him, then over to Emily. "You have?"

"Yes. I have. Emily can't stop talking about you."

"Daddy!" Emily protested, though, she didn't really mind him telling Paige that. She just felt like it was one of those things she should at least pretend to be embarrassed by.

"She can't?" Paige sounded both surprised, and pleased. Emily glanced over to find a shy smile tugging at her lips, and her cheeks and ears a deep red. She cleared her throat, and turned her gaze back to Emily's father, forcing herself to meet his eyes. "I've heard a lot about you, too, Sir," she said, quietly. "Emily speaks very highly of you. And, it's an honor to meet you. So to speak."

"The honor is all mine, believe me. My girls speak very highly of you as well, so I know that must mean that you're treating my Emmy right."

Paige swallowed audibly, but nodded, her eye contact never wavering. "I do my best, Sir."

Emily was about to open her mouth and admonish him for trying to intimidate her girlfriend, but his sternness had already broken, as he let out a light laugh.

"Enough with this Sir business. Call me Wayne."

Both Emily and Pam snickered, which caused him to divert his attention over to them, and for Paige to dip her head, and blush.

"Something funny?"

"No, sweetie. It's nothing," Pam said, the laughter in her voice belying her words.

Emily reached out and took Paige's hand, under the table. Paige laced their fingers together and squeezed lightly.

He eyed his wife and daughter for a moment before shaking his head, accepting that, whatever it was, they weren't going to be forthcoming.

"I don't have long tonight," he said. "But, I have something important to tell you, and I wanted to tell you together."

Her mom's hands, which had been resting loosely on her shoulders, tightened their grip, and Emily struggled not to wince.

"Should I go?" Paige asked, leaning in to whisper in Emily's ear.

"No, stay." It was Wayne who answered.

Paige pulled back, giving Emily a startled, wide eyed look that clearly asked 'how?' Emily just shrugged. She had no idea how her father did it, he just seemed to have bionic hearing sometimes.

"I feel like this is something that you should hear too."

Emily's heart beat wildly painfully, in her chest and her breath caught in her throat. She was torn between whether to feel eager or uncertain about hearing her father's announcement. From the vice grip her mother had on her shoulders, Emily had a feeling she was experiencing the same thing.

"I'm coming home," he said softly. "My unit's been recalled."

Anything else he said was lost to the buzzing in Emily's ears. She felt her mother hug her from behind, her breath and her tears warm against the side of her neck, and she felt Paige wrap an arm around her, giving her a side-ways hug, but everything else faded away, as she closed her eyes and tried to focus on the fact that her father was coming home.

She heard words being exchanged, but they were fuzzy and far away, as if travelling to her from a great distance. Or underwater. At first she thought it was her parents talking, then she realize that her mother was hugging her tightly, face buried in her hair, and it was Paige and her father who were speaking.

Emily tried to pull herself out of her stupor to catch up with the conversation, but was unable. She was so excited, she was almost numb from it. The moment she had been dreaming about for over a year had finally happened, and she felt like she could finally breathe again.

"Dad, that's amazing," she rasped, when she had control of her vocal chords again. Her words were choked by the sobs trying to work their way up her throat. Tears fell, un-checked down her cheeks.

"Do you know when?" Pam asked, sounding just as emotional as Emily had.

"Couple weeks."

"Thank God."

"I should be home in time for your last meet."

"Really?" Emily felt a thrill at the thought of her dad being there to watch her swim in the state finals. He hadn't been home to watch her swim in years. "Dad, that's…"

"I know, baby girl. I can't wait to see you."

She nodded her assent.

"I have to go. I'm sorry. I wish I could stay on longer."

Emily was sad to see him go, she always was. But, at least this time she had the prospect of seeing him again in person very soon to hold onto.

"I love you, guys."

"Love you, too, Dad."

"Love you, sweetie."

Emily and her mother spoke at the same time.

"Paige, take care of my girls for me."

"Yes, sir." Paige nodded firmly.

Her dad chuckled, as slowly the image dissolved.

Emily sat, stunned, staring at the now blank computer screen. She couldn't believe that her dad would be home within just a few weeks. Slowly, she slid from her chair and turned to face her mother, who fell into her arms. Or, maybe, Emily fell into her mothers. Either way, they embraced for a long moment, holding each other tightly, until, with a sigh, her mother loosened her hold lightly and they pulled away.

"He's coming home," Emily whispered, feeling herself tearing back up again.

"I know, Em." Her mom cupped Emily's face, wiping at the tears as they streaked down her cheeks, while ignoring the ones streaming down her own.

Eventually, her mom pulled her hands away and swiped at the tears with the back of her hand. "I'll leave you girls to your evening then," she said, giving Emily a tight smile and a firm nod.

Emily knew that meant her Mom was going to go upstairs and hole herself up in her room for a while, and let herself break down, then she would call up a couple of her friends and they would go out for a few drinks. It was how her mother processed things.

She turned to leave the room, but before she had the chance, Paige, who had been seated at the table all this time, staring down at the patterns in the table cloth, attempting to give them at least a little bit of privacy, stood and folded her into a hug.

Surprisingly to Emily, Pam melted into the embrace, wrapping hear arms around Paige and hugging her back. She felt her heart strings tug just a little at the sight, not just because her Mom was readily accepting her girlfriend's touch, but also because she was accepting her comfort. It was something her mother rarely indulged in, preferring to put on a brave face.

After a moment, they parted, and Pam gave Paige's shoulders a lingering squeeze before slipping past her and heading for the stairs. Paige turned to Emily, and extended her arms in invitation. Emily flew into them, wrapping herself bodily around her girlfriend, as Paige's long arms encircled her.

"My dad's coming home, Paige."

"That's amazing, Em. I'm so happy for you."