"What the hell happened to you?"
Armin sighed. "Nothing Eren, I'm fine. I'm getting stitches because they'll make me look cool."
Laughing, Eren sat down next to him. "Ha ha, very funny. But seriously, what's with the stitches? Do I need to beat up someone?"
"Already did."
Eren raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
Armin laughed and shook his head. "No, of course not…though I might have fractured his jaw."
"Y…you might have what?" Eren asked, appalled. "I don't believe you. Who'd you hit? Natalie? That wouldn't come as a surprise."
"No, not her, though I'd like to break her jaw."
"Let's see…Ymir?"
Armin made a face. "Why would I do that? She'd probably kill me, and Christa would be upset."
Eren rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah…how about…I don't know, Jean?"
"Nope."
"Give me a hint, since I have no basis in these guesses. Boy or girl?"
"Boy."
"Bigger or smaller."
It was Armin's turn to roll his eyes. "Name one male that's smaller than me. Honestly, they would be a dwarf."
"Connie is. Uh…dark hair?"
Armin didn't comment on Connie's stature. "Yeah."
"Is he big?"
"Huge."
Eren looked unconvinced. "It's not Bertoldt, is it?"
Armin shook his head. "No, bigger."
"Erwin?!"
"Yes, I punched the blonde Commander in the face," Armin said, "c'mon Eren I know you're not that stupid-even Cain wouldn't do that!"
"Okay okay fine. How about…Cain?"
Armin just grinned.
"…no," Eren said.
He didn't respond.
"…I don't believe you."
A laugh.
"Y…you…sweet Wall Maria Armin I can't believe you! Damn! How did you even-?!"
"It was a swift uppercut," he replied, "and he actually backed off."
Eren whistled. "I'm proud of you," he said, patting Armin's back, "Seriously."
"Yeah…" Armin said, smiling, "Now Christa and I can hang out in peace without that guy busting in out of nowhere and-"
"Wait you were with Christa when it happened?"
Armin blushed and looked away. "I-yeah…"
"Well well…what were you two up to?" Eren asked, smirking. "Probably cuddling or something."
We can roll around again when you're physically able.
"Uh…not quite…cuddling…" The blonde replied, scratching his head.
"All done," the nurse said, "you should lie down though-you don't want the stitches to rip open, do you?"
Armin shook his head. "No ma'am."
The nurse smiled. "Well in that case, stay the night. You probably shouldn't work for about a week or so to let yourself heal."
"Are you serious?" Armin asked, sighing. "I had just gotten clearance to work today, and I'm bedridden for the next week again."
Eren gave him a look.
"…what?"
"…I just realized how disheveled you look."
Armin gave him a confused look. "Huh?"
Eren pointed to his blonde hair. "It's messy as hell-it has grass and stuff in it. No matter what, your hair is always neat, when you first wake up, after training, even when you fall off a horse or a building or something."
"My hair got messy when we unleashed the female titan in wall Sina," Armin said matter-of-factly.
"The fact that you remember that attributes to how little it gets messed up. I highly doubt that you were rolling around with Annie, so-"
He stopped, and Armin turned away.
"…no."
His face got redder.
"…no."
No response.
"You…and Christa were…" Eren began to laugh insanely. "Did you show her your-?"
"Oh my god Eren that's disgusting!" Armin complained, pushing him away. "No, she did not see my penis!"
"Don't yell that!" Eren said, shushing him. "Geez…but did you see her boobs?"
Armin rolled his eyes. He has a problem with the male reproductive organ, but when it comes to women he's very flamboyant. "Not really."
Eren gave him a sly grin. "What do you mean 'not really'?"
"Uh…well…" The blonde began to feel uncomfortable. He didn't think Christa would be too fond of him bragging about touching her like that.
"C'mon, I won't tell a soul," Eren promised, "I'm your best friend, remember?"
That was true-they've told each other everything. There were no secrets between them at all.
Feeling more at ease, Armin relented. "Well…Cain pushed her into the pond and I had her take off her shirt so she could put my dry one on, and she had a bra on underneath."
"Aw," Eren moaned, "if she was shirtless-"
"-Cain would have seen them too, so I'm rather happy about that."
Eren nodded. "That would be bad," he agreed, "so okay. But what were you doing before he showed up?"
Armin blushed. "We…well…we just kissed…"
"…kiss as in 'smooch' kiss? Or was it kiss as in 'rolling all over the place, tearing each other's clothes off and eating each other alive' kiss?"
They heard the door slam open, and Armin was momentarily afraid. Was it Cain coming to get him while he's unable to fight back?
Luckily, it wasn't. It was actually Ymir, with Christa following behind.
"Hey guys," Eren said. He looked like he was holding back laughter. "We're just…talking."
Ymir had a completely straight face. "Were you pressuring poor Armin about how their little date went? Because I was going to ask the same thing."
Christa tugged on Ymir's sleeve, and she looked…embarrassed. "Ymir, I was being sarcastic! We didn't really-!"
"Then what's with this?" Ymir demanded, taking Christa's head and cocking it to the side revealing a small bruise.
Armin tensed. Did…did he do that?!
"Sweet Rose Armin you gave her a hickey!?" Eren said, laughing. "You 'just kissed' huh?! I so don't believe you anymore!"
Christa swatted away Ymir's hand. "I-I fell into the pond, remember? I even had the wet clothes to prove it!"
"What did his 'titan' look like?" Ymir asked, putting her hand around Christa's shoulders and grinning.
"His…what…?"
"She's talking about Armin's penis," Eren said bluntly.
Armin turned to him, horrified. "You don't just say that Eren! At least Ymir had the decency to be discreet about it!"
"But you just-"
"There weren't two girls in the room when I said that," Armin huffed.
"Said what?" Ymir demanded.
Christa shook her head frantically. "I-I didn't see it yet! I swear!"
"Yet?" Eren and Ymir asked at the same time.
If her face was red before, it was completely crimson now. "W-well, I-I-!"
"You're expecting it to awaken in all its majesty soon, huh?" Ymir asked, laughing.
"What class are you expecting it to be?" Eren asked, laughing as well.
"Watch it be an abnormal variant," Ymir teased, "and only a five meter cla-oof!"
Without warning, Christa head-butted Ymir in the ribs.
"That's too much Ymir!" Christa cried, "You're being mean! Say you're sorry!"
"Ow geez! Okay okay I'm sorry!" She said, wincing in pain.
Armin didn't quite know what to say to that.
"Anyway," Christa said, "how are you doing? Are you alright?"
"No," Armin admitted, "I have to say bedridden for another week or so."
"Lazy," Ymir muttered.
Christa head-butted her again.
"Okay I'll just leave! Ow…"
When Ymir left, Christa smiled. "I'll leave you and Eren to your…'man talk.'"
With that, she left.
"So…you gave her a hickey-"
"She jumped me," Armin muttered, "and she started undressing me first."
"Undressing?! Oh my-you were bottom or top?"
Armin rubbed the back of his neck. "Bottom at first, then top…"
"Was she soft?"
"Not telling."
Eren made a face. "Well then. Was she-?"
"Bye Eren."
Eren blinked. "I wasn't-"
Armin gave him a pointed look, and he finally understood. "Right…sorry…"
He got up and winked at his friend. Armin laughed. "You're ridiculous."
"You're lucky," Eren retorted as he left.