Chapter 10: Waiting

Jessica sat next to Gabrielle in the car on the way to the hospital. "So, you and mom talked?" Gabrielle implored, trying to start a conversation.

"Yeah," Jessica answered. "She apologized. For what? I'm not really sure."

Gabrielle laughed. "What do you mean? You know exactly what she apologized for. You were feeling a little ignored, and she was sorry about that," she explained.

Jessica sighed. "Yeah, but, I know why Elisabeth gets so much attention, and I understand why. There's no need to say sorry for that."

Gabrielle nodded. "You didn't mention Tommy or Rachel," she said.

"So?" Jessica asked, getting a little defensive.

"Someone a little upset that they can still make time for them?" Gabrielle inquired.

Gabrielle pulled into the parking lot and turned the car off. Getting no answer from Jessica, she sighed. That was her answer right there. "Listen, like I said, they love you. And, we all know that it sucks to have our moments taken away from us and all the attention to go to someone else, but there's nothing you can do about it. Ellie doesn't choose when to get sick and neither mom nor dad can just say she'll be fine and leave her alone."

"I know that," Jessica said. She went to open the door to leave, but Gabrielle grabbed her arm and told her to wait.

"You know, you have something that most people in this family would kill to have right?" Gabrielle implored.

Jessica just patiently looked to her.

"You know Ellie more than us. You're closer to her than most of us ever will be," she explained. "I remember when you two were like three years old, and one time I was sitting there coloring with you. All Ellie had to do was put her hand out and you knew what crayon to hand her. You would explain to us what she always needed when she was still learning sign language and didn't know what to say. I mean, you have been the best sister to her ever, you let her go out with the boy that you liked. At her funeral, you will probably be the only one that can truly say that throughout Ellie's life, you always made sure that she was happy no matter what. Mom and dad have both sacrificed and done things for her, but they can't be nearly as close to her as you are. You can practically read her mind."

Jessica smiled to her. She liked that, it was nice, and something that no one else had.

Gabrielle returned the smile. "And maybe now that you talked to mom, she might include in more of the things that she and Rachel do together. God knows you rather that than try and get included with what dad and Tommy do, whatever they do," she stated.

Jessica laughed at the comment and shrugged. "Maybe," she replied.

"Well, we'd better get in there," Gabrielle announced.

Jessica nodded and they both got out of the car and walked together to the entrance of the hospital.

ooooooo

House sat on the chair in the waiting room, watching Cuddy slowly pace before him while Gabrielle rested her head on his shoulder, dosing off. Rachel, Jessica, and Tommy all sat quietly in another section of the waiting room.

"In your medical opinion, are her chances better if you walk back and forth like that? Or do you think you should start in a new direction?" House questioned. He for one, was actually not that nervous, this had happened a few times before. Elisabeth would do more than she was capable of, such as running to quick or something like that while her lungs were at their worst. All they would do is go ahead with the lung lavage and then send her home. Not a big deal.

Cuddy stopped and glared to him. "I'm sorry that I'm nervous," she spat and then continued pacing. It wasn't so much that she was scared of what was going on right now, she knew exactly what was happening. It was the talk that she was going to hear afterwards. The doctor coming out and telling them that she had less time now than she did the last time this happened. That they would have to start bringing her in more often. She had to brace herself, get herself ready for that talk.

Gabrielle opened her eyes after hearing the little exchange of words and watched Cuddy steadily make her way back towards them. As she was walking past them, Gabrielle reached out and grabbed her hand. "At least this time you can take her home," she said and then let go of her hand.

Cuddy stopped and looked to her a minute. Mouth slightly agape, eyes glued to her. This time, yes this time they could take her home. "Right," she curtly responded and then quickly went back to pacing.

"Nice try," House stated.

"I could have found a better way to phrase that," she replied and then closed her eyes. This right now, was basically nothing. She could remember back when they thought that Elisabeth could have had cancer.

(House and Gabrielle sat out in the hall on the floor against the wall. Cuddy was off with Wilson and a couple other people that came to see how Elisabeth was doing. Right now, they were preforming the biopsy to check whether or not the growth was cancerous.

"I think this is taking too long," Gabrielle sighed out, blankly staring forward. "Although, maybe it's better not knowing. You know what I mean?" she asked, turning her head towards House. "If they tell us it's cancer, we'll wish this right now would have lasted longer."

House continued to stare forward. No emotion. "It wouldn't be that bad if she did have it. Might actually be better that way," he flatly stated.

Gabrielle just looked to him. Yes, she thought that was bad to hear at first, but she wasn't about to say anything until he explained further.

"Now, she's a baby. She dies now, she won't have to get used to the idea of dying, won't have to learn about everything that she's missing out on and she won't be scared," he explained and then looked back to her. "Not too long ago we already found out that she was going to die early in life, this way, she doesn't get teased and have to die before she gets to either reach high school. There's also the fact that Rachel and Jessica won't miss her. Lisa will be attached, but something tells me that the longer she has with the kid, the harder it'll be on her, and there's you," he said.

Gabrielle turned her head forward and leaned it against the wall. "You want a way with the least amount of suffering involved."

"I don't want to watch my daughter watch other kids play and grow up while she goes back and forth to the hospital knowing that she can't have the same plans as everyone else. Other kids choosing colleges, telling each other what they want to be when they grow up and she's sitting there thinking that it doesn't matter because odds are, she won't grow up," he responded.

"You ever wish she wasn't born?" Gabrielle questioned.

"I wish that she was born with working lungs," he corrected her.

"Don't we all?" she implored. )

Gabrielle lifted her head off of House's shoulder and looked over towards Cuddy. "Before she gets back close to us, you still think it would have been better for Elisabeth to have died earlier on?" she questioned, keeping as quiet as possible so no one else heard.

"I don't know," House admitted. He loved her, he liked being with her, he was close to her. Then again, there would have been a lot less pain for everyone, including Elisabeth if she had gone earlier. Either way though, he wasn't happy.

Gabrielle nodded and laid her head back down. "Sucks don't it?"

House remained silent. She already knew the answer, there was no point in answering.

oooooooo

"I hate this place already," Rachel stated.

Tommy sighed and looked to her, annoyed. "Please tell me again, because I'm sure that I didn't catch it the first fifty times you told us," he remarked.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "You enjoy it?" she asked.

"Yes. It's loads of fun. Mom starts acting all nervous and irritated and then dad sits there and gets annoyed with her and then we have to sit there with them when we get home and they're all tense and won't even talk to each other," he replied.

"I actually do," Jessica said.

Both Rachel and Tommy looked over to her as if she were crazy. Jessica looked back to them and shrugged. "I always start to get nervous when we have long periods of time where nothing happens to her. When it finally does, we get it over with, take her home and then have another period of time where everything's okay," she explained.

Tommy considered what she had said. "I can see that," he responded. "Taking the optimistic approach."

"I think it's morbid," Rachel stated and then sat back in her chair.

"Ignore her. She think's everything's normal," Tommy said.

The doctor came out the door and stood there for a minute, taking a deep breath. "I need both Doctor Houses," he called out.

Cuddy stopped dead in her tracks and then nervously turned towards the doctor and hastened over. House slowly stood up and then took his time getting over there to join Cuddy. He knew better than to be in a hurry to hear what ever he was about to tell them.