Chapter 4

The hospital room was barely recognizable. Both of the beds were flipped over and sitting in pieces against the wall while the rest of the furniture and hospital equipment had shattered in the explosive release of magic. There was even the smell of sulpher, but most of that had mercifully vanished through the large hole in the wall. Her eyes were drawn to the six-foot wide circle that was burned in the floor of the room. Then she heard a soft sob in the corner and turned.

Xander and Anya were huddled in the corner. Xander was hunched over, his eyes locked on the burnt circle while he clutched a bloody scalpel in his hand. He was rocking slowly back and forth while Anya had her arms wrapped protectively around him, one hand rubbing his back while she whispered gentle nonsense words into his ear.

Buffy stepped over the television that had been blown off its stand and stepped on a piece of glass. Anya jumped at the loud crunch it made and her eyes were as wide as a deer's in headlights when she turned. Then she saw Buffy and grinned. "Thank God." Her voice was ragged, but it was impossible to tell whether it was from crying or her injury.

It didn't matter either way. Buffy ran over and wrapped her arms the two of them, but Xander barely noticed. "It wasn't your fault, Xander."

Xander stiffened and finally saw her. "Sure it was," he said as he lifted the scalpel and let the red emergency lights flicker on the blood. "She's my best friend and I tried to kill her, just like Jessie." He took a deep breath as he made a decision. "Take care of Anya, Buffy," he said as he squirmed out of their arms and stood up.

Buffy and Anya didn't even glance at each other, they just stood up as one and blocked his blocked his path to the door. "We're not going to let you go," Anya said, her voice firm.

"You have to," Xander said, his voice raw. "I have to go before I hurt you too."

"You'd never…" Buffy began, but Xander let out a bitter bark of laughter.

"Hurt you? What do you think makes you so special? I've hurt everyone else. Mom, Dad, Jessie, Anya," he took a deep breath and continued. "And now I've killed my best friend. I don't want to hurt anyone I love again," he said and tried to force his way past them to the door.

"You didn't kill her, Xander. The magic did," Buffy said as she tried to push him back. It would have been so easy just a half hour ago, but now she wasn't sure if she could stop him even with Anya's help.

Xander took a step back and held up the scalpel again. "Magic didn't slice her open. That was all me."

"You wouldn't have done it if you didn't have to," Buffy argued. "Not unless you had no other choice. What was she going to do?"

When Xander didn't answer Anya did.

The hospital room was dark and quiet. Xander and Anya were finally alone after hours of the doctors poking and prodding after their magical healing.

"You think any of those doctors are vamps?" Xander finally broke the silence as he rubbed the three band-aids that lined the inside of his elbow.

"They do have a taste for blood." Anya played along. "Maybe when Buffy…" her voice died when she realized she broke the rules. Then Anya shook it off and continued. "Do you think she's all right?"

"The Buffster? Oh yeah," Xander said with as much confidence as he could muster. "They're probably just beating Warren up and down Main Street right now." He began to act some of it out, but gave up when he almost bounced out of the bed.

Anya giggled, then started coughing as the pain in her chest came back. "I wish Willow had done a better job."

"I'm sure she did the best she could," Xander said, which was easy for him to say. Most of his pain had vanished hours ago.

"It's just odd, like she stopped halfway…" Anya said and looked up in alarm as a haze appeared in the center of the room. "What's that?"

"I don't know," Xander said. He didn't panic, but he did start looking around the room for weapons. "But it's a bit early for Santa."

Then Willow stepped out of the haze and grinned at her two friends. "Well, isn't this sweet."

"Wills!" Xander ran over and scooped the witch up in a hug. "What's the word? Have you beaten Warren bloody yet?"

Willow cocked her head to the side like she was remembering something sweet. "You could say that."

"Then where's Buffy?" Anya asked. "And what happened to your face?"

Willow reached up and was surprised to find the four gouge marks still on her cheek. "A gift from an ex. And Buffy's hanging around."

Xander missed the worried look on Anya's face as his own fell. "Dawn told us about Amy. We're so sorry."

Willow's happy little smile faded as Dawn came running through the door. "Willow, did you get…"

"Soporifer," Willow commanded.

Dawn's eyes slammed shut and she collapsed to the floor. Anya shoved herself further up the bed while Xander ran over to Dawn. He found her pulse, but it felt slow. "What the hell?" Xander shouted. "What did you do?"

Willow shrugged. "She'll be alright. Better than her sister, I bet."

Anya slapped down on the light switch and glared into Willow's black eyes. "What did you do to her?"

"Buffy always acted like a martyr, so I gave her what she wanted."

Xander's eyes went wide. "What?""

Willow shook her head and leaned over like she was talking to a bunch of six year olds. "Don't worry, she's still alive. At least she will be if Spike and Tara find her soon enough. After all, I didn't want her to miss this." With that Willow sauntered over Anya.

"Why?" Anya asked as she backed away until she hit the metal headboard.

"Why?" Willow repeated as she stood over Anya. "I could've saved Amy, but she was too self righteous. 'You can't kill Warren just to save Amy! That would be wrong,'" Willow parroted with disgust. "She took my sweetie, so I'm going to take hers. Only sounds fair, doesn't it?" With that the two bullets floated out of Willow's pocket and hung in midair in front of her. "You understand that. Don't you, Anyanka?"

Then Xander tackled Willow from behind and wrapped his arms around her. "You can't do this, Willow, it isn't in you."

Willow didn't struggle, she just reached down and ran her hand over his bare leg. "Love your new outfit, Xand. Almost makes me want to switch teams, but I've done that enough for one day."

Xander blushed and jumped back as what she said sunk in. "You don't have to do this Will. You're not alone. I love you no matter what you did."

Willow smirked and spun around to face him while Anya glanced between the two of them and got ready to move, just in case. "That's it? That's the master plan? You're going to stop me by telling me you love me?

Xander grinned at her. "Well, I was going to walk you off a cliff and hand you an anvil, but it seemed kinda cartoony."

Willow shook her head in disbelief. "Still making jokes."

Xander got deathly serious. "I'm not joking. I know you're in pain. I can't imagine the pain you're in. I know you're about to do something apocalyptically evil and stupid and hey, still want to hang. You're Willow.

Willow flinched when he said her name. "Don't call me th-"

"First day of kindergarten you cried 'cause you broke the yellow crayon and you were too afraid to tell anyone. You've come pretty far, killing all your friends, not a terrific
notion but the thing is, yeah. I love you. I loved crayon-breaky Willow and I love scary Willow. So if I'm going out, it's here. You wanna kill everyone you love you start with
me. I've earned that."

"You think I won't?"

Xander shook his head. "It doesn't matter. I'll still love you."

The blackness left Willow's eyes as she reached up with an unsteady hand to touch his cheek. "I know you love me." Xander and Anya just started to relax when Willow the smile turned into a smirk and she grabbed Xander by his throat and lifted him off the ground. "Problem is, you never loved me enough."

Xander batted at her arm while Anya started to desperately pound on Willow's back, but Willow barely noticed.

"And the problem with killing you first is then you don't get to watch."

She waited for the horror to register on his face, then threw him across the room. Xander landed hard into the cabinets in the corner and slumped to the floor, barely conscious. Then she turned to Anya.

And felt Anya's fingernails dig into her other cheek, giving Willow a matching set. "I should've let Olaf kill you," Anya hissed.

Willow touched her cheek and didn't look a bit surprise when it came back red. "Yeah, well. We all have things we regret." With that Willow plucked a bullet out of the air. "Like taking this out. But at least we can fix that."

Anya tried to roll off the bed, but the sheets came to life and wrapped themselves around her arms and legs, tying her down to the bed. Willow dropped the bullet over Anya's heart and brought her hand back. Anya almost cried in relief until she felt the pinch. She looked down and saw the bullet moving on its own.

"I wanna do this slow. Bullets usually go too fast to see the good parts, like your heart exploding and spine shattering," Willow said, her voice calm. Then she pouted. "Wish I had some popcorn, though. Can't watch a movie without popcorn."

Anya didn't say anything she just watched the bullet as it pushed a neat little dent in her gown and the skin underneath it. Then it ripped through the gown and there was the first drop of blood.

"Neat," Willow said. Then she reached up and rustled Anya's hair. "Hey, its no fun if you don't scream." Anya bit down on her lip to keep from saying anything. "How 'bout a groan? Or a moan? You're good at those. Had to turn down the speakers on my computer when I was watching the three of you at the Box."

Anya opened her eyes and glared at Willow, who just grinned and leaned over the bed so she could be nice and close. "That's the spirit."

Anya took a deep breath, which only made the bullet dig in deeper, but she still managed to say, "Your vengeance is sloppy."

"What?"

"It's crude and unimaginative," Anya grinned, then winced as the bullet sped up just a hair. "Is this really the best you could come up with? I guess you aren't the brain I thought you were."

Willow just stared at the girl in amazement. "I don't believe this! You're critiquing me?"

"Well, who better?" Anya said and almost shrugged before she caught herself. "I did do this for a millennia. And let me tell you something, this is just garbage." Willow shook her head and Anya's smile got bigger. "Oh, and you forgot something."

"What?"

Then Xander was there. He wrapped his left arm around Willow's chest while his right went higher, to her throat. The cold hospital light flashed off something metallic in his hand as he slashed it back.

Willow knocked Xander back and clamped her hand over the slice, but it didn't stop the blood from dripping down. The bullet stopped, forgotten, and Anya knocked it away as she untangled herself from the sheets. She punched Willow with everything she had, and waved her hand in agony as Willow collapsed.

"To watch your back. You're good, but you're not invulnerable," Anya said as she raced around Willow to Xander, who stood there frozen with the bloody scalpel in his hand.

"Xander?" Willow's voice asked into his mind as she turned to face him. Her eyes were pools of confusion as the front of her black blouse grew even darker now with blood.

"Will, I'm sorry," Xander said, his face pale and his hand shaking. "I couldn't… You were going to…"

"You choose her over me," Willow's said into his mind and even her thoughts had a sneer in them. "You said you loved me, but you choose her? Typical."

"Please Willow, don't make me do this again," Xander begged. He stood frozen in place as Willow stood until Anya wrapped her hands around his arm and pulled him back.

"Bite me," Willow said. Her voice was shot to hell, but it worked. She threw her arms wide and revealed the almost closed wound on her throat. "Lekko najine…" She began, and magic flowed from her hands and formed a distorted rectangle in the air between them. A hard wind filled the room and pushed Xander and Anya back until they were against the wall.

There was so much magic in the air that no one noticed the man who appeared near the door until he spoke. "Willow, no!"

Anya turned and stared at the newcomer in disbelief. "Giles?"

Willow ignored them both and continued as the air ripped open to reveal a barren landscape with two moons and a red sky. "Forkah…!"

Before she could finish Giles muttered, "God help me," and let loose a stream of pure magic that slammed into Willow's chest. Her face twisted in fear as she was forced back a step. She turned to try to block Giles' attack and felt her control slip over the portal.

"Giles, no!" Willow screamed as the rip collapsed in on itself and all the magic flowed back at her. She could have absorbed Giles' magic or the spells', but not both at the same time. She screamed one more time in agony as the energies combined and ate into her, then the room exploded.

"She wouldn't have done it," Xander said, his voice as haunted as his face. "Willow couldn't…"

Buffy looked at him and saw the doubt on his face, the doubt that would destroy him if she didn't kill it. "She skinned Warren and burned him alive. And she did something to Tara. I don't know what, but she won't let anyone touch her. She wasn't our Willow anymore."

"And you did try," Anya told Xander, but Xander just shrugged her off.

"I told some stupid story about her breaking a crayon and told her that I loved her, no matter what. I think I almost… I should have done more!" He shouted, suddenly furious at himself, and pulled away from his girlfriends' hands. "If I was a bit smarter, or quicker…" He shook his head to clear it and finally let the scalpel slip out of his fingers and drop to the floor. "That's why I have to go."

"You did everything you could," Buffy repeated as she tried to push him back. .

"Even if you go Willow will still be gone," Anya said softly. "She wanted it over. Even without my powers I could see her despair."

"She was my best friend, and I just…" Xander finally broke down and dropped to the floor.

"We all should have," Anya said as she and Buffy knelt down next to him and held him close as they waited for the tears to pass.

After a few minutes the door opened and Giles looked in. His face was drawn as he watched the three of them. "Are you all right?"

"Eventually," Buffy answered. Giles nodded, his mind somewhere else as he turned and headed back to the hall. Then she looked down at Xander. "Right?"

He squeezed Buffy and Anya's hands and nodded. "Eventually," he said, but his eyes never left the blackened tile.

"Then I better go fill him in," Buffy said as she got up off the dusty floor.

"You want us to come with?" Anya asked.

Buffy shook her head. "No. You two need your rest. Besides I wanna make a quick getaway in case he drops dead."

"Good luck," Xander said. He tried to sound cheerful, but it was just a shadow.

Buffy just leaned over to kiss them both, then she got up and walked out the door.

.