The Eyes Have It
Chapter Fifteen – Too Good to be True
The two interminably long weeks were almost over. Marlena had gone home early to finish packing for Paris. She was so excited, she couldn't sit still. She would be meeting John tomorrow. She had missed him terribly and the feeling of uneasiness had stayed with her the whole time he had been gone, but he had helped ease her fears by calling her every day. He always called as he was starting his work day and she was going to bed. He would tell her about his day and tell her how much he missed her. She always went to bed with a big smile on her face.
But this was his last night in Dubai, so this time she wanted to call him as he was going to bed. It was 2pm in Salem so that meant it was 11pm in Dubai, John should be in his room now. She called the hotel and asked for his room. She hoped he wasn't sleeping already. After just one ring, a woman's voice answered the phone, Marlena apologized and said she must have the wrong room….she was looking for John Black.
"This is John Black's room," the woman said. "He's in the shower right now. Can I take a message?"
Marlena paused before she said, "No…..no message." Her hand began to shake and she nearly dropped the phone as she went to hang it up. Marlena just sat very still for several minutes...like she was frozen in time. She had to concentrate on what just happened. A woman had answered John's phone...at 11 o'clock at night...while he was in the shower. Her chest began to get tight as she heard the voice on the phone again in her head. She had recognized that voice. It was Kate Roberts.
Images began to bombard Marlena …. images of Kate hugging John, Kate in John's apartment admiring the view, John explaining that there was nothing going on between them, Kate washing John's back in the shower, images of the day when Marlena found out that her first husband Don was cheating on her, images of Roman leaving her for his job. The room began to spin and Marlena began to feel sick. No, this wasn't happening again. She had sworn she would never let this happen again. She had really believed that there was something between her and John and now as soon as he was away from her, he was with someone else. She felt so stupid. She had believed him. Every time she had seen him with Kate, he had given her some excuse and she bought it. How could she have been so naive?...so trusting? Marlena doubled over, she felt like someone had kicked her in the stomach. God damn him! She should have known better. She was furious at herself for wanting and needing him so badly. She hated him. She never wanted to see him again. All of a sudden her hand flew up to her mouth and she ran for the bathroom, just in time to throw up into the toilet.
Marlena sat up all night that night. She couldn't sleep and she didn't want to lie down in her bed, the bed she had shared with John. She had decided that she had to go away, to get out of Salem for awhile. She knew that when she didn't show up in Paris, John would come looking for her and she didn't know if she would have the strength to resist him. She knew that her body would betray her as soon as she saw him, but she couldn't be with a man who lied to her and used her. She had to get away from him. She had to get him out of her system somehow.
She went into the hospital in the morning to meet with Dr. Horton, the Chief of Staff. She explained that she had a family emergency back home in Colorado and she needed to take a few weeks. Marlena hardly ever took time off and you could tell by looking at her that something was terribly wrong, so Dr. Horton had no problem giving her the extra time off. Marlena got the first flight out of Salem. As she sat looking out the window, watching the plane leave the ground, she began to cry for all that she had lost, especially for what she thought she had with John.
John was standing in the Paris airport watching everyone come off the plane from Salem. He had a huge smile and was carrying a bouquet of yellow roses. He couldn't wait to see Marlena and show her the sites of Paris. It had been a very long two weeks without her. Everyone was off the plane and they closed the doors, but Marlena never got off. John checked at the desk to see if she had missed the flight. They told him that she had never checked in. John became very worried. He tried to call her but he just got her voice mail. He spent the next hour trying to track her down, but no one seemed to know where she was….even Maggie Horton thought she was on her way to Paris. John was going out of his mind. What could have happened to her? He booked the next flight to Salem. He was going home to find her.
Even when he got back to Salem, he still couldn't find out what had happened to her. She just seemed to have vanished and no one knew where she went. John was finally able to convince Dr. Horton that it was urgent that he find her and was told that she had some kind of family emergency. John then traced her family to Colorado and immediately set off to find her. By the time he tracked down her parent's house, it had been several days since she was supposed to meet him in Paris. He didn't understand why she never called him or answered his calls. When he knocked on the door he was told that she didn't want to see anyone….even after he explained who he was. John was losing his mind.
He kept watch on the house until he saw her going out one day and he followed her. As she got out of her car, he came up beside her and grabbed her arm. She let out a scream.
"Quiet, Marlena. It's just me."
"John, you scared the hell out of me. What are you doing here?"
"What do you mean what am I doing here? What did you expect me to do Marlena? You never show up in Paris, you disappear, you won't answer my calls. I've been losing my mind trying to find you."
Marlena was trying desperately not to look at John and not to be affected by him, she had to keep repeating in her head, he lied to you, he cheated on you, when all she really wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and never let him go. "I'm sorry you were worried, John, but as you can see I'm fine."
"That's it? You're fine. Well, I'm not fine, Marlena. What the hell is going on with you?" John was extremely angry and frustrated.
"I needed to be with my family for awhile that's all. I don't owe you any explanation."
John was feeling extremely nervous, why was she acting this way? Like he was a total stranger. He tried to take her in his arms. "Baby, please tell me what's going on. If you needed to be with your family, you just had to tell me. I'd understand, but please don't shut me out."
Marlena tried to pull away from him. It was taking every ounce of strength she had not to sink into his arms. She kept thinking of Kate's voice answering the phone, she repeated it in her head over and over again. She knew that if she confronted John, he would come up with some explanation again and she would give in just like the last time. She couldn't keep doing that. She couldn't be with a man that she didn't trust who would just keep hurting her over and over again. She had to stop the cycle now. She had to make John go away. She had to make him realize that it was over between them so he'd give up and leave her alone.
"Let go, John. I'm not yours to worry about."
"Marlena, what are you saying?" John was really scared now.
"I've just decided that I need to move on. What we had was a lot of fun, but it's over now. I don't want to be with you anymore." Marlena felt a tightness in her chest and a lump beginning to form in her throat. She was fighting as hard as she could to remain calm on the outside while inside her head she was screaming...Why did you have to do it, John? Why did you have to be with her? Why couldn't you love me enough?
"Marlena you don't mean this. I've only been gone for two weeks, and you've completely changed. What happened?"
"Nothing happened John, I just realized that I don't want this anymore. I don't want a relationship with you. It's over. Now, please go back to Salem and leave me alone." She pulled away from him and climbed back into her car. She drove away as quickly as she could, her eyes filling up with tears and her chest convulsing as she began to sob.
John just stood there in shock, watching Marlena drive off. This wasn't happening. He was having some horrible nightmare and any minute he would wake up. How could she be like this? Did he just imagine what they had? He had been so sure that she loved him as much as he loved her…..was he just fooling himself? It's true that she had never actually told him that she loved him, but he was sure that she did. Something must have happened to make her like this. He had to find out what it was. He decided to head back to Salem and try to figure it out.
It had been an entire week, and John was no closer to figuring out what had happened to Marlena. No one seemed to know anything. As far as Maggie knew, Marlena had left work that Friday to pack for Paris. And all that Dr. Horton knew was that Marlena said she had a family emergency. No one else knew a thing. John continued to try to talk to Marlena, but she still refused to take his calls. He even wrote her several letters, but hadn't received any reply. He couldn't stand how helpless he felt. All his life, John had always been in control. He had been on his own since he was 17 and he was always in charge of his life and knew what he wanted and where he was going. But now he was floundering. He didn't know what he was doing. Everything he believed to be true, he was now questioning. Had it all been a fantasy in his own head? Did she just use him out of boredom, because she needed a little excitement in her life? Did she ever care for him at all?
A few days later he got his answer, a small package arrived in the mail. It was from Colorado. He opened it with dread in his heart. Inside he found his unopened letters and the crystal heart he had given her on the pier. No note, nothing else. He felt like it was his own heart he was holding in his hand. It was true. She hadn't cared for him at all. She didn't even care enough to open his letters. He felt like a world class fool. He had given his heart to her, told her that he loved her, and she was just playing with him….using him for her own entertainment. How could he have been so blind? He should have realized it when she never did say that she loved him and she was never willing to talk about making a serious commitment. To think that he was actually going to propose to her in Paris. What an idiot he was. He hoped that she was planning on staying in Colorado. He had no desire to ever see her again.
After a few weeks of trying to get on with his life, John realized that it was impossible for him to get over Marlena. Every place he went in Salem reminded him of her. He couldn't stop thinking about her. He couldn't stop wanting her….no matter how much he hated her now. He had to get out of this small town. He decided he needed to get back to the city, where he belonged. He began to make arrangements to leave Salem as soon as possible.
Marlena had been in Colorado for almost two months now and she wasn't getting any better. There wasn't a day that she didn't think of John or a night when she didn't dream about him. She was driving herself crazy. She knew that she had to find a way to get back to her normal life. She couldn't hide out at her parent's house forever. She had heard from her contacts at Tyton that John was leaving Salem, so it would be easy now for her to return. She needed to get back to normal…to her work at the hospital, to her patients, to her friends in Salem. To everything she had before John Black had come in to her life. She called Dr. Horton and let him know that she would be returning the following week.