Katniss's POV
That night, it's not me that has the nightmares but Peeta. He's thrashing around in bed, screaming. I put my hand on his back and begin sing him a lullaby.
"Deep in the meadow, under the willow
A bed of grass, a soft green pillow
Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes
And when again they open, the sun will rise.
Here it's safe, here it's warm
Here the daisies guard you from every harm
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true
Here is the place where I love you." He stops rolling around but he continues to scream. I kiss his cheek and he calms down slightly but I finish the song anyway.
"Deep in the meadow, hidden far away
A cloak of leaves, A new day Forget your woes and let your troubles lay
And when again it's morning, they'll wash away.
Here it's safe, here it's warm
Here the daisies guard you from every harm
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true
Here is the place where I love you." Peeta stops screaming and begins to cry, the tears soaking his pillow. Despite my efforts, he won't wake up. "PEETA!" I scream. "PEETA WAKE UP!" I'm truly scared because normally he can wake up with just a gentle shake. "PEETA! PEETA! PLEASE WAKE UP!" I being to cry with him, scared. "PEETA!" I scream, shaking him, trying to wake him up. I rest my head on his chest and cry, the tears drenching his shirt. "Peeta. Please. Please wake up. I'm begging you."
"Katniss?" he finally answers. "What's wrong? Nightmares?"
"OH PEETA!" I say, wrapping my arms around him.
"What's wrong?" he says frantically.
"Peeta, you had nightmares. "
"No, I didn't."
"Yes, you were shaking and rolling around, fighting the air, screaming. Honest." He doesn't respond right away. "Peeta?"
"I don't remember that. I didn't dream at all," he says finally.
"I was scared! You wouldn't wake up!"
"Oh," is all he says. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."
"Peeta, it's not your fault. You can't control it when you're asleep." I look at the clock. 5 am. We probably won't sleep much longer anyway. "I'll go make some breakfast. You do it all the time, it's my turn."
"Okay."
Downstairs, I hunt around the kitchen, looking for something I can make. We have some bread. I'll make us some toast. It can even be a symbol of our love—the girl on fire plus the boy with the bread equals toast. And it's just like the District 12 wedding symbol.
"Peeta?" I call. "Breakfast!" I stir our tea, and add some sugar to mine, but never Peeta's. He has little quirks like that. He likes to sleep with the window open, no sugar in his tea and he always double-knots his shoelaces, something I like to tease him about. We can't take the risk of our shoes coming untied! What if we trip?
"Good morning honey," he says pleasantly, giving me a kiss on the cheek, taking his tea.
"Morning." I grab our plates of toast and bring them to the table where Peeta's sitting.
"The girl on fire and the boy with the bread make toast," Peeta guesses with an eyeroll. "Or are you telling me we should get married again?"
"All we have is bread, okay?"
"So. About having kids—"
"Peeta. I told why I can't and why I don't want them. I'm sorry."
"Actually, I was going to say, let's not have any. It'd be too difficult to tell them about our past anyway," he says, taking a bite of his toast.
"You're right," I say, secretly wanting kids, the small part that wants them still growing inside of me. I stand up to put my dishes in the sink.
"Take mine?" he asks, handing me his.
"You're lucky I love you," I say, grabbing his plates. "I have to hang the laundry out to dry."
"I'll come outside with you," Peeta says, heading upstairs. "Let me shower first, okay?"
"I have to shower too, you know!" I call after him. I fill the sink with warm water and add some soap. I take a cloth and scrub the bread crumbs off of our plates. I run the cloth through the cups as water falls into it from the faucet. I didn't have running water until I moved into Victors' Village. It's a luxury I never forget. I want kids, right? But I don't. I don't even know what I want, I can't keep my mind from wandering to the depths of possibilities. Just now the phone rings. I dry off my hands and turn off the water. "Hello?" I say.
"Katniss! How are you?"
"Effie?" I say.
"Yes, who else?" she says.
"I just haven't heard from you in a while is all."
"Well the Capitol would love to see where the star-crossed lovers of District 12 are now."
"What do you mean?"
"Interviews, TV special, photo shoot. The works," she explains.
"We've been out of the spotlight since the wedding and would kind of like to keep it that way, sorry."
"Katniss! This isn't optional," she complains.
"I'd have to talk to Peeta so—"
"No! I need an answer now!"
"Sorry, Effie. I'll have to talk to him before I make any decision regarding our publicity," I say.
"KATNISS! NO—"
"Goodbye Effie," I say. "We'll keep in touch!" I hang the phone up.
"What was she calling about?" Peeta asks, coming up behind me.
"Oh, that," I say with a sigh. "Apparently the Capitol demands a television special involving the star-crossed lovers of District 12 and where they are now."
"Are we going to do it?" he asks.
"I don't know. I said I'd ask you about it."
"Well. Let's give the Capitol a show."
"Are you sure?" I ask in awe.
"Yeah, why not?"
"Okay then. I'm just going to take a quick shower."
"And I'll call Effie to confirm everything!"
"Great! She said she needed an answer 'now Katniss. This is very important!'"
I can hear Peeta's throaty laugh as I climb the stairs. In our room I pick out a worn yellow dress and go into the bathroom to shower. I turn on the water to a perfect temperature before stripping down and getting in. I begin to sing The Valley Song.
"Down in the valley, the valley so low
Hang your head over, hear the wind blow
Hear the wind blow, dear, hear the wind blow;
Hang your head over, hear the wind blow.
Roses love sunshine, violets love dew,
Angels in Heaven know I love you,
Know I love you, dear, know I love you,
Angels in Heaven know I love you.
Build me a castle, forty feet high;
So I can see her as she rides by,
As she rides by, dear, as she rides by,
So I can see her as she rides by.
Roses love sunshine, violets love dew,
Angels in Heaven know I love you,
Know I love you, dear, know I love you,
Angels in Heaven know I love you."
"You sound even better in the shower," I hear Peeta say through the door.
"PEETA! Why are you listening to me through the door again?"
"Because you have a beautiful voice," he explains.
"Seriously?" I ask, slightly irritated with him.
"Oh come on!"
"Peeta, I am showering right now."
"I know," he says.
"Please let me shower in peace."
"Okay," he says. I stand still until I hear his footsteps going down the hall.
I finish up and then get out. I reach for a big soft towel to discover that all there is on the towel rack is a hand towel. I can't dry off very well with that, I think. I take it anyway and do my best to dry off. My hair is still really wet but I put on my dress and braid my sopping wet hair. I open the door and go across the hall to our bedroom. I open that chest and take the box with my keepsakes in it out. I find the locket Peeta tried to give me. I open it up and peel the picture of Gale out. I drop the picture in the chest and then put the locket back in the box and the box back in the chest. I'm through with him.
Downstairs I pick take a basket of wet laundry outside to hang on the clothesline, which is really just a piece of string tied to two trees. Peeta is already outside sitting on the grass against a tree, watching Haymitch's geese wander around. I set the basket down by the clothesline and sit beside him. "Did you call Effie?"
"Yes, she wants to begin first thing tomorrow. The camera crew, Effie, and some new prep team are on their way now, actually."
"Oh wow. She's big into this, isn't she?"
"Quite," he says.
"I better hang up this laundry, I guess," I say, getting up.
"Let me help you."
"Did you get any more details about our TV special?" I ask him.
"Yes, she wants to interview us, of course; Haymitch; herself, I'm not sure how she can interview herself unless someone does that part for her; Hazelle; and Gale if she could. She wants your mother but she says your mom refuses to leave the hospital for something so frivolous, to which Effie replied 'This isn't frivolous. It's necessary!'"
I laugh as I pick up a pair of Peeta's pants and hang them over the line. "Effie is sooo," I pause, searching for the right words.
"Effie?" Peeta suggests, hanging up a dress.
"Exactly."