Chapter 36: AN: I said stop flaming, okay! I bet you are all probably seventy-year-olds! PS: POTTERSUES, YOU'RE A PREP! Oh, yeah, and fangs to Raven for the help! Have fun in England, girl!

I looked around, in a depressed way. Suddenly, I saw Professor Trelawney. B'loody Mary, Sirius, Draco, Vampire, and Willow were there too.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD! Sirius, I saw you and Samaro and Snape and everyone! I can't believe Snape used to be goffik!"

"Yeah, I know," Sirius said, sadly.

"Oh, hey there, bitch," Professor Trelawney said (in an emo voice) drinking some Voldemortserum.

Hi, fucker," I said. "Listen, Satan asked me out to a goffik concert and a movie, so I need a sexy new outfit for the date. Also, I'm playing in a gothic band, so I need an outfit for that too."

"Oh my Satan!" (geddit, lolz, 'cause she's goffik) Gasped B'loody Mary. "Want go to Hot Topic to shop for your outfit?"

"OH MY FUCKING SATAN, let's have a group cutting session!" Said Professor Trelawney.

"I can't fucking wait for that, but we need to get some stuff first," said Willow.

"Yeah, we need some potions for Professor Trelawney so she won't be addicted to Voldemortserum anymore, and also… some love potion for Ebony," Draco said, reluctantly.

"Well, we have potions class now," Willow said, "So let's go."

We went (sexily) to Potions class. But Snape wasn't there. Instead it was… Cornelius Fudge!

"Hey, where the fuck is Dumbledore?" Draco shouted angrily.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" shouted Cornelius Fudge. "He is in Azkaban now, with Snape and Lupin. He is old, and weak, and he has cancer. Now do your work!"

My friends and I talked angrily.

"Can you BELIEVE Snape used to be goffik?" Vampire asked, surprised.

"THAT'S IT!" Cornelius Fudge shouted angrily. "I"M GETTING PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE!"

He stomped out angrily.

My friends and I began talking again. I began to drink some blood mixed with beer. Suddenly I saw Hagrid in the cupboard.

"What the fuck is he doing?" I asked. Then I looked at Draco. He was wearing tons of eyeliner and he looked sexier then ever. Suddenly…"HAGRID, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" He shouted.

I looked around… Hagrid was putting something in my glass of blood! Draco and Vampire started to beat him up (sexily).

"God! You are such a poser!" I shouted at Hagrid. Suddenly I looked at what he was putting in the blood. It was… Amnesia Potion!

Editor's note: La la la… hey guys, you know what I'm doing? I'm watching Star Wars: Episode V! Isn't that exciting? Ha ha ha, I'm such a nerd.