A/N: Thanks for all the reviews and I got some really good and helpful constructive criticism and it would be even better to get more so R&R please!
Katniss's POV
Sitting on the cool tile floor, my bloody shorts around my ankles, I can hear Peeta calling out in concern for me. "Katniss? Are you okay? Where are you?" I pull my knees up to my chest.
I just can't believe it. I lost the baby. I peer over the toilet to see a bloody mess. My baby is in there. The baby it took so much for me to want. Now it's gone. Now he or she is gone. Peeta's loud footsteps are approaching the door. "Katniss?"
"What?" I ask, frustrated by my loss.
"Can I come in?" I unlock the door and return to my seated position on floor.
He opens the door. "What's—oh."
"Peeta! I lost the baby! Our baby." I can see him holding back tears, just like I am. "Gone. Forever."
"Oh, Katniss, I'm so sorry." Peeta sits down beside me.
"I knew something would happen. Life wasn't going to leave me in peace for long. Now I've failed you, our…"I pause. "Baby."
"You didn't fail anyone," he says, putting his arm around my shoulders. "These things happen and it isn't your fault. It's no one's fault."
"I'm sorry," I mumble, hoping he won't hear.
"Why won't you believe me when I say there is nothing to be sorry about?"
"I still don't deserve you."
"Come on," he says, standing up. "Change your clothes and I'll call the doctor." He holds out a hand to me. I take it and make it to my feet. Peeta leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. I stand up. I pull up my pants and go to our bedroom where I pull out some fresh clothes to change into. Once I'm changed, I go to the hall closet and get the cleaning supplies. The bathroom needs to be cleaned up. I take the bleach, a sponge, toilet brush and some rags. In the middle of scrubbing the floor, Peeta calls to me. "Hey, Katniss? We're going to the doctor right now! Come down, okay?"
"Be there in a minute!" I call, rinsing the sponge and wiping down the floor so I don't have bleach just sitting there. Downstairs I see Peeta waiting patiently by the front door. I hurry so as to not keep him waiting.
"Ready?" he asks.
"Ready as I'll ever be." Outside, everything seems so normal, as if I were still pregnant, though most people didn't even know. After Effie's television special, everyone knows we're thinking about it, but they don't know it happened. We walk everywhere still. Everyone does. We don't have cars in the districts still. We make it to the hospital in just ten silent minutes, hand in hand.
"Katniss Mellark," I say to the receptionist. "I believe I have an appointment with Dr. Schumaker."
"Yes, you do. You can go on back now," she says, never looking up from her computer screen. I motion for Peeta to follow me and we enter the back where all the rooms are. We look at the doors to see Dr. Schumaker's name on them. When we find the one, I knock on the door and push it open. There's his nurse, Alexa, sitting on a stool waiting patiently for our arrival. I like her. She's originally from twelve, and came back after the rebellion like so many others. She has the seam look about her but she's older than me, and we never had never spoken before.
"I understand you had a miscarriage? Or so Mr. Mellark tells me," she says in her nasally voice. I nod somberly. "Well I just need to check your vital signs and then I'll go get the doctor for you." She checks my hear rate. "Seventy bpm, not bad. Open wide." Alexa checks my throat with a shiny light, then my nose, eyes and ears. "Looks good. I'll send the doctor in."
After she leaves, Peeta lets out a long breath. "Were you holding your breath?" I ask.
"I was afraid there might be something wrong with you." I roll my eyes.
"I can handle it, thanks."
"I'm sorry for being a concerned husband," he says sarcastically. I playfully slap his shoulder when the doctor walks in.
"Katniss," he says. "I'm sorry to hear what happened. Most people didn't even know you were pregnant!"
"Well it was very early term," Peeta points out, reminding me of how unsuspecting we were just earlier today.
"Thank you for getting us in so soon," I say, looking around the room. There are some plant charts on the walls, why I don't know. I spot nightlock on one of the charts. There's a calendar still showing last month in the corner.
"Anything for the mockingjay," the doctor says courteously. Ugh, I groan mentally. It's been ten years people. It's over.
"So is there anything you can do to tell us why this happened?" Peeta asked, filling the soon-to-be awkward silence.
"We can do an autopsy on the fetus, if you still have it," Dr. Schumaker says to Peeta. The look on Peeta's face directs the question to me.
"Um," I say, my face turning red. "I haven't flushed it yet."
"I'll have someone fish it out later and bring it in then. It may be too early to tell. These things happen sometimes and no one knows why," Dr. Schumaker points out.
"Okay then," I say, set to leave.
"Wait—I have to make sure it wasn't you that went wrong," he says.
"Oh?" I ask.
"Come. Sit on the bed, please," the doctor requests.
I hate hospitals. After the games and being in thirteen, I hate hospitals. Their florescent lights, pastels and uncomfortable chairs irk me. The paper covering the beds always rips anyway. And they always reek of bleach and cleaning supplies. I hate how hospitals smell so clean. It bothers me. I climb onto the bed anyway.
"Have you been doing anything unusual or that may affect your pregnancy?" he asks.
"Um, I've still been hunting, if that's bad."
"Describe your hunting, please," the doctor asks politely.
"Well, I shimmy under the fence, then go on a reasonable distance and climb a good tree until I can easily spot and shoot something. "
"Mmmhmmm," he murmurs. "That could be potentially threatening for the fetus but that alone couldn't have caused it. Have you been eating anything out of the ordinary?"
"No, just whatever I hunt and Peeta bakes, as always."
"Is everything cooked well done?" he asks.
"Yes," I say slowly. He walks over to me and begins pressing on different parts of my abdomen.
"Okay," he says. Dr. Schumaker takes his stethoscope to hear my breathing. "You seem alright. Have you been stressed?"
"No more than a normal pregnant woman, I'd say," I answer.
"The only thing you could've done to cause it was hunting but I don't think that alone did it. The baby might not have stuck. Sometimes it just doesn't work and you have to try again," the doctor says.
"Okay," Peeta speaks for the second time since the doctor came in.
"You can leave now, and good luck," he says, exiting the room.
"You ready?" Peeta says, taking my hand.
"As I'll ever be."
On the way home, we talk about pointless little details, like what we should have for dinner or how old Finnick Jr. has gotten and that we ought to visit them. I know Peeta is just trying to distract me from the day's events. He opens the front door and the phone is ringing.
"Hello?" I answer it.
"Finally. I've been calling you for the past half hour."
"Johanna?" I say in disbelief.
"Yeah, who else. How come I had to find out about your life from some TV show?"
"That just aired in seven recently?"
"No, I just never got around to calling you is all."
"Oh."
"But when I found this out, I picked up the phone immediately," she says on the other line.
"Found what out?" I ask cautiously.
"That you're knocked up for real this time!"
"Oh. That. You see," I say, my eyes tearing up. "I lost the baby this morning."
"Oh. Another 'miscarriage,'" she says, trying to lighten the mood.
"For real," I say into the phone.
"I'm coming to your aid!" Johanna calls.
"No, that's not necessary." Peeta gives me a look. "Johanna," I mouth to him. That seems to explain it all. "So. How'd you find out anyway?"
"Word travels fast when the star-crossed lovers are having babies."
"Oh. Well how's life for you?" I ask casually, drying my tears with the back of my hand, moving on.
"It's pretty good. I don't leave my house much that much though. My only friends live in different districts so," she says.
"I understand. We should get together," I say. "All of us."
"There's not many of us left to get together," Johanna points out.
"Well me, you, Peeta, Annie, and Finnick Jr. are gonna have a great time together."
"You usually aren't the kind to organize these get-togethers," she says.
"Oh come on. I need to my mind off of this baby. I'll have nightmares and fall into a depression and I'll have to ignore Dr. Aurelius again."
Johanna laughs, "Okay then. I'm free just about always."
"Alright then," I say, a smile back on my face. Johanna can do that to a person. Or she can take the mouth right off of them. It depends on her mood.
"Bye," she says.
"Bye." I hang up the phone.
"What did she want?" Peeta asks.
"Nothing really. We're planning a get-together for us, Jo, and Annie and Finnick Jr."
"Really?"
"Yes," I say.
"You aren't that kind of—"
"I know, I know," I say, cutting him off. "I still want to have something to distract me. Hunting's great and will clear my mind, but I can't hunt 24/7, though I'd like to."
"Go right ahead," he says.
"I'll call Annie and see what works for her," I say, turning back to the phone. Dialing Annie's number, I pull the phone cord to the nearest chair, stretching it to capacity.
"Hello?" Someone other than Annie answers the phone.
"Um, this is Katniss Mellark, is Annie home?"
"Oh, yeah. Just a sec," the voice says. "Mom!" He shouts. It must be Finnick Jr.
"Oh, Katniss, hi!" Annie says cheerfully.
"How are you?" I ask.
"Fine, thanks. And you?"
"Good," I say. "Listen, Johanna and I are planning a get-together. We would love for you an Finnick to join us!"
"But—"
"I know, I know, I'm not the 'planning' type."
"Oh," she says. There's silence on the other end.
"Hello?"
"I'm here."
"So what days work for you?" I ask.
"Well Finnick starts school in September so any time before that I think we're good."
"Great. How's August 1st sound? Until we're sick of each other?"
"Sounds good! Where will it be?" she asks.
"I haven't gotten that far yet."
"Okay then," she laughs.
"I let you know as soon as I do," I say.
"Bye!"
"Bye!" I get up and put the phone back on its receiver. "Peeta!"
"I'm right here," he says behind me.
"Ah!" I jump. "How long were you there?"
"Like two minutes."
"Oh," I say. "Well, we need a place to have this party."
"How does here sound?"
"Do we have room for everyone? I mean we need Johanna, Annie, and Finnick Jr. They all need their own room."
"There's still some empty houses. What if they all shared a house?" He's right. Only the Hawthornes, Haymitch, Greasy Sae, and Peeta and me live in the Village still. That leaves a few empty houses.
"Okay then. Do you think they're in any condition to be lived in?"
"I'll try to get someone to clean them out."
"Great," I say. We can see all of our old friends. The ones we like anyway.