The Eyes Have It

Chapter Twenty Five - Desperation

By the time Marlena had finally calmed down and cleaned up her face, she had come up with a plan. She had to prove to John that she still needed him and wanted him as much as ever; that his physical condition made no difference to her. She loved him just the same. She decided to plan a nice romantic dinner for the two of them, complete with champagne, candlelight, soft music and, of course, strawberries.

When she came into his room later that evening, John was sitting up at the table doing some paperwork.

"Work time is over," she announced as she came up beside him and kissed him on the cheek. "It's time to relax and have some dinner."

"I'm not really hungry tonight," John answered, still in his somber mood.

"You will be when you see what I brought you." Marlena held the door open as she pulled in a large cart, loaded with goodies. She proceeded to pick up all of John's papers and move them aside. Then she covered the table with a cloth, and set it with candles, silverware and covered platters. She handed John the champagne and asked him to open it while she set up a CD player to play romantic dinner music.

"What's the occasion?" He asked.

"I'm madly in love with my husband to be." She leaned down and kissed him softly. "Is that okay with you?"

"Yah, that's okay with me," he grabbed her hand. "Marlena, I'm sorry about earlier today..."

"Shhh...we're not going to talk about that right now. We're just going to enjoy a lovely romantic dinner. Look, I got your favorite." She lifted the lid off of his plate to reveal his favorite dinner from Blondie's; poached salmon, red potatoes and sautéed zucchini.

John smiled, "It looks delicious. Thank you."

Marlena just smiled as she sat down across from him. They enjoyed a lovely dinner and chatted about everything; the Children's Center, Basic Black, Eugene's current inventions, hospital gossip, everything except John's condition. When they were done eating, Marlena cleared their plates away and brought out another covered dish.

"Are you ready for some dessert?" She asked with a twinkle in her eye. She lifted the lid to reveal the strawberries and whipped cream.

John just stared at the berries and then at Marlena as she was moving her chair closer to him. "Marlena….what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm feeding you your favorite dessert." Marlena picked up a berry and dipped it into the whipped cream.

"Marlena, you know this can't go anywh….."

"Shhh…" Marlena interrupted him. "Trust me."

She held the berry near John's mouth so he could lick off the whipped cream. Then she dipped it again and placed it halfway in her mouth. She held it between her lips as she climbed onto John's lap. She brought her mouth to his until he finally took the bait and bit the strawberry in half. She held on to the back of his head tightly so he couldn't move away and began to kiss him passionately. John couldn't resist her. He loved her mouth so much. He kissed her back hungrily, devouring her mouth and holding her head tightly. Then just as quickly, he pushed her away.

"I think it's time for you to go now Marlena," he told her with absolute anguish in his voice.

"I'm not going anywhere tonight." Marlena stated firmly. She stared into John's eyes and he knew that there was no point in arguing.

"Can I help you get into bed?" she asked calmly as she climbed off of his lap.

"No, I can manage," John answered, wondering how he was going to get through a whole night with her lying next to him.

"Okay then….I'll be just a minute," she picked up a small overnight bag and disappeared into the restroom.

When she reappeared a few minutes later, John had already managed to pull himself up into bed and get himself settled. Marlena turned down the lights and climbed up on the bed next to him. She was wearing a short, blue silk robe that tied around the waist. "Are you comfortable?" she asked as she began to unbutton his pajama top.

John grabbed her hand to stop her. "Marlena….I can't…"

"Yes, you can…." she interrupted him again. "Do you remember the very first time you made love to me? Do you remember what you did to me? You drove me crazy…..with your mouth," she reached up and softly touched his lips. "..and your tongue," she leaned over and licked his bottom lip. "….And your hands," she grabbed his hands and placed them on her thighs as she swung her leg over and straddled him. "Do you remember?"

His eyes locked with hers. "Yes, Marlena, I remember."

"I need you, John. I need you to touch me. I need you to love me." She opened her robe to reveal that she had nothing on underneath. She slid his hand from her thigh, up her torso and placed it on her breast. She leaned down close to his mouth and whispered against his lips, "Love me, John."

He grabbed the back of her head and kissed her roughly, devouring her lips and invading her mouth with his tongue. His head and his heart wanted her so badly and he was furious that his body couldn't follow. He made love to her mouth and her neck like a man possessed. He was angry with himself and angry with the world for doing this to him. He grabbed her hair and pulled her head back so he could attack her breasts. His other hand dug into her thigh and worked its way towards her center.

Marlena bit her lip to keep from crying out. She knew she would have marks on her body from his rough hands and his hungry mouth, but she didn't care. It felt so good to have him touch her again. It wasn't long before her body began tensing and shaking against his touch. She held his head tightly against her chest as her whole body shuddered violently against him. She finally collapsed onto his chest, breathing heavily.

They stayed that way, wrapped in each other's arms, for quite some time, neither one saying a word. Marlena was the first to speak.

"What are you thinking?" She asked John, her head still resting on his chest.

She felt John take a deep breath before he began. "I love you, Marlena. I love you so much and I loved doing that to you..."

Marlena's heart began to beat faster as she waited for him to continue. "But?" she finally asked.

"But...it isn't enough...not for either of us."

Marlena felt herself begin to panic. She pushed herself up so she could look at John. "I can't lose you, John. I don't want you to risk your life on something that might not even work."

"But if there's the slightest chance that they can repair the damage to my back and make me whole again, don't you think I have to take it?"

"No! Not if it means you could lose your life."

"That's not going to happen. I'll have the very best surgeons. They know what they're doing."

"You don't know that. What if something goes wrong?" Marlena was crying now and nearly hysterical.

"Marlena please...just think about this. Try to understand how I'm feeling..."

"No!" She climbed off the bed and pulled her robe around herself. "I can't lose you." She started to head for the bathroom, but began to lose her balance. "I won't lose you." Her hand went up to her forehead as she began to feel dizzy and the room began to spin.

John noticed Marlena begin to falter but he couldn't reach her. He yelled out to her just as she began to fall. "Marlena!?" He managed to use his arms to launch himself out of his bed, but not before she hit the floor.