"Hello every one, are you ready to play some football?"

Seras was at the front of the class with a football, otherwise known as a Soccer ball to citizens of the United States. She smiled and several team members subconsciously scooted backwards.

"All right then. Right now we'll cut the lights and watch some footage of the enemy team. They've never really played football before so we'll be watching them kill Youma"

The projector in the back of the class sputtered to life. A black and white shaky recording started to play. It showed a blonde teenager with hair buns in a sailor suit. She took off her tiara that was on her head, called out something they couldn't hear due to the lack of sound, and threw it at a monster. The Tiara was turned into a flat energy disc that cut the monster in half. The monster then crumbled to dust.

"This footage is a bit old. Hopefully their attacks haven't changed much. As you can see from the clip their leader sailor moon is a fearsome opponent. Fortunately she won't be able to throw tiaras of death at you while playing soccer. What this footage does tell us is that she's not afraid to kill us if necessary. Now onto the next one"

This one was sepia toned. Everything looked like it was moving in fast motion. It showed a shorthaired sailor typing something on a smart phone and calling out "It's weak spot is-", and then the recording stopped.

"That was sailor Mercury. She is the smartest of the group and is known for quickly finding a monsters weak point for the group to exploit. It's not good that we have to fight her. Okay then, on to the next one!"

This footage was newer still. It was bit grainy and there would be random jumps here or there. It featured warrior of love and justice with long raven hair. Her skin was deathly pale and there was something off putting about the way she moved. She called out "Mars flame sniper", and then shot an arrow of flame with unnerving accuracy.

"Sailor Mars is among the more deadly of the Sailor scouts. Fortunately she also wears high heels. With any luck she'll get tripped up in the grass. If not then remember to stop, drop, and roll. Onto the next one then"

This recording was in color and was actually pretty good quality. They wished it wasn't. She was huge. This one was taller, stronger, and bigger then the rest of the scouts. The footage cut short before they got to see her attack though. A few of the players were partly disappointed and partly relieved by this.

"That was Sailor Jupiter of the herculean strength. We were counting the sailors using their abilities and then having penalties called on them. Jupiter probably doesn't need to use her abilities to gain an advantage. Are you ready for the next one"

Seras was being far too chipper about all this. The next thing they were shown was a still frame of a blonde haired scout.

"This is Sailor V. She is a national Icon of my country and was beating up bad guys before any of the other scouts showed up. We might take a few injuries from her. Now on to the- oh dear"

Yet again the projector showed a freeze frame instead of a recording. This one was extremely fuzzy and obviously taken from a security camera of some kind. They could see the head of a guardian and long green hair.

"Sailor Pluto, guardian of time and space. One of the few things my master ever feared. Well that and taking baths."

Suddenly Seras changed to the next slide. This was in high definition. It was an adorable sailor scout with a glaive in her hand trying to pick a flower in the field.

"Sailor Saturn. She was recorded this morning picking flowers. Isn't she adorable?"

Seras then cleared her voice and turned off the projector.

"Unfortunately all our stores of Uranus and Neptune footage was destroyed in a recent fire at the school. Fortunately my good friend Sai has gathered some pictures of the enemy."

Miss Victoria pulled out an unopened manila folder from her desk and passed it Rin. Rin opened it up, smiled mischievously, and then passed the envelope down. When it got to Kasumi he paled, when it got to Rose she blushed, and when it got to Ice the silver haired girl raised her hand.

"Professor, are these supposed to help us learn the anatomy of the enemy for critical damage or something?"

"Not especially", responded Seras.

Ice sighed and passed it on. Eventually it snaked its way though the team and came back to Seras.

"Oh dear"

The images taken by Sai were of a rather intimate nature. They were no doubt captured using a high magnification camera from a far off vantage point. Why would they do THAT while still in their sailor suits?

"That concludes our research for today, you can all go back to your rooms now"

"But Proffessor our game is tomorrow. Shouldn't we prepare a bit more or something?", asked Rin.

"Nope, no point getting sore or tired before a game. You should all take a nice cold shower and go to sleep now"

Seras started to walk towards the lights when they came on seemingly of their own accord.

"Actually, I think we might have a bit of a problem"

"Proffesor Granger? What are you doing here?"

The brainy brunet said, " I was informed by my daughter that you were all laboring under the delusion that you'd be playing football tomorrow. When in actually you will be playing American football tomorrow and the rules are a tiny bit different. So there's only one thing to do"

Hermione Granger pulled out a dozen flasks filled with a golden liquid.

"Every one drink this"

"Mom, isn't this cheating"

"I didn't see anything against it in the rules"

"Well there isn't anything against lighting the goal on fire in the rules either"

"You are absolutely right. I'd better go enchant the goal posts straight away"

Rose face palmed. Several seats behind her Rin was giving her little bro a pep talk.

"I don't know Rin. Do you really think we have a chance?"

"We just might. Hey, even if we lose then we'll just burn their bus so they can't get home"

"They can teleport"

"Can they teleport with both knees broken?"

"Of course they- actually I don't know"

"Excellent", whispered Rin as the two of them snuck out of their seats.

16 hours later

The intercom screeched, "Ice, Rin, Arang, Rose, Ivan, Wulf, Boggie, and Kasumi report to the principals office at once"

The squad assembled. OG Boby Aono was sitting back in his badly charred office chair. Police girl was to his left, Miss Granger was to his right, and a second witch named Tojo was chilling in the corner.

"Dad, I thought that Tojo was the assistant P.E. Teacher"

"Well, Ice, allot has happened since then", answered Headmaster Aono.

The beastly headmaster then stood up and turned his chair around. He then sat in it backwards to show how serious the situation was.

"As you know we only have 8 eligible players including Kasumi. While I'm sure Head coach Victoria and her staff are talented they are nonetheless not miracle workers. Which is why we are going to activate our trump card."

Proffesor Sendo, the freshman P.E. Teacher Gin, Proffessor Clodfelter, and Sendo's kid all showed up.

"Are you ready?"

Professor Sendo pointed her hands towards Gin and Clodfelter. The two badasses de aged and gave cocky grins.

"Now, we have enough", said Professor Sendo.

"What happens if one of us gets injured?", asked Ice.

"Don't get injured", responded the Headmaster.

Ice started growling.

"To the equipment room", ordered the Headmaster.

The team marched towards the school supply closet and opened up the ancient gates. With a shuddering screech they opened wide. Revealing a miss matched selection of protection. Every step kicked up another cloud of choking dust. They got in, grabbed their gear, and got out of there as quick as they could.

Rin inquired shortly thereafter, "Why are our jerseys Green and red?"

"Because those are our school colors silly", answered Headmaster Aono.

The motley crew put their jersey on their pads, donned their concussion buckets, and walked towards the field. Half of them didn't even have cleats.

The Sailor Senshi were waiting for them. There were two players that they hadn't gone over in film as well. One of them was a pink haired girl with red eyes. The other was some Classy gentleman wearing a tuxedo.

"Aren't they supposed to be wearing pads?"

"They don't need them", said the headmaster.

"But the rules", whined Ice.

"Fine", mumbled the Headmaster.

He threw up a series of hand signals to some well dressed blonde dude waiting on their side line. The blond dude waved his hands and all of the Senshi were now wearing pads. Their pads matched their original color schemes.

"Don't they all have to be the same color?"

"Ask one more question and I'll summon Sai to spank you"

"That's against the law"

"No out here it isn't!"

Seras whistled to get every ones attention. She then pulled out a black board and started writing down every ones jobs. Most of them were directions like "hit this one" or "go here and wait".

Eventually the referees called for team captains and there was a coin flip. The Sailor Senshi won so the Youkai Academy team would be staring into the sun when they got the ball.

They started with a kick off. Neither side had any idea what was going off so they just ended up colliding and forming a giant pile in the middle of the field. Next up Youkai Academy had the ball and their Quarterback Gin tried running with it. Only to get slammed into by Venus play after play, and then the whistle blew.

"Gin, we are getting killed out there. Talk to me", said Offensive coordinator Granger.

"Well, she's really fast. If it was a full moon we'd have chance but I just can't shake her"

"Ok new plan. How's your arm?"

"Pretty good"

"Okay then. Here's the new plan. Throw the ball to Ice"

"Isn't she a linemen?"

"Yep, this a trick play"

"What does that even mean?"

"Just do your job", dictated Mrs. Granger as the time out ended.

Gin did as he was told and threw the ball. Ice managed to squeeze by Makoto and sprint out for the catch. Trouble is that they forgot one tiny little detail. Sailor Moon could fly.

"Danng it!", screamed Rin.

The purple haired young lady broke free from her block, grabbed Kasumi, and threw him up at the ball.

"AHHHhhhhhh", he caught the ball, "aaahhHHHHHH!" and he fell back to the earth.

Rin ran towards him.

"Kasumi, are you all right"

He gave her a thumbs up.

"You sure buddy? How many fingers am I holding up?"

"69"

"Uh, close enough"

They returned to the huddle and tried it again. This time they tried restarting their run game. The Senshi utterly destroyed them. They stopped the run and pushed the whole pile of bodies back several yards. Even Ice was brought low by the collision.

Finally after a few more stopped runs the Senshi took the ball.

"My turn", said Defensive Coordinator Ruby.

She started throwing up hand signals towards Gin. Gin looked at her for a moment, nodded, and then told every one the play.

The Senshi tried a run play using Tuxedo masks super jumps. Gin Collided with him mid air and managed to strip the ball as they plummeted towards the earth. Next up they handed the ball to Chibi Usa so she could use her small size to maneuver through the dog piles. Rin, "Accidentally" knocked Kasumi right in front of where she was running. The pink lady tripped, dropped the ball, and then tumbled forward painfully at least a dozen times.

"This means war", she growled at Kasumi as she returned to the Senshi huddle.

Play after play Tojo's defense kept on stopping the run. Then the Sailor scouts pulled out their ace in the hole.

The play started like any other. The linemen blocked, middle linebackers blitzed, and the skill players ran their routes. Except Sailor moon didn't let go off the ball. After about 3 seconds the Senshi did something . . .

Young Proffesor Clodfelter started freaking out. He could see where their power was going. The Professor saw who they were feeding their strength to. With that much energy- oh dear.

Sailor moon shot out like a rocket. Every one who was fast enough slammed into her in a futile effort to slow her down. Clodfelter was the last to try and tackle her. He slammed into her with every bit of energy he had. His body shook and his pads started to buckle and break from the strain of the blow. She sent him skittering back. He was able to grab onto her again two yards before the goal line. The professor sold out and tackled her low. He twisted and went in with what little he had left.

She was stopped within inches of goal line. If she had gotten even a tiny bit closer then it all would have been for naught. As it was, Tojo's defense had one last forlorn hope left. If they could hold the line for a few more plays then maybe, just maybe, they might have a chance.

Youkai Academy Team lined up and held the line. They fired out so low that they were knocking the Senshi's feet out from under them. Ruby was gesturing like mad every play. She countered everything Mercury could throw at them and Gin followed through with her every silent order.

They made it to half time. The Senshi walked off to their sideline and Youkai Academies team limped over to theirs.

"You did very well out there I am proud of you all and, Gah!", Headmaster Aono couldn't finish their speech. His daughter had leapt on them and was draining them within an inch of their life at the moment.

Seras Victoria took over.

"Great job. Keep up the good work. You can do this!"

Tojo who was standing next to Seras started to look a little down. Sailor Mercury had been doing hand signals at her during their break.

"Seras, they figured out where we've been getting our plays from"

"Where have we been getting our plays from?"

"Madden 2006"

" Oh no"

The Youkai Academy half time show came out and started making noise. The Youkai team was silent. The enemy knew everything. Not to mention the whole team was tired because they'd all ready given up everything they had just to make it this far. Also some one had deployed the sprinklers. Ice was pissed.

This kick off Youkai Academy had some clue about what was going on and managed to score a touch down. It didn't save them.

Soon as the Scouts got the ball they destroyed Tojo's defense. The game became a viscous cycle. Kick off return, get stopped, and get scored on. It went on and on and on. The Offense would get stuffed and then the defense would get mauled all the way down field.

The final score was 73 to 7. When the last whistle blew most of the Youkai team collapsed. Ice and Clodfelter had to help their team off to the middle of the field so they could shake hands with the opposing team.

Just like that Youkai Academy had suffered a miserable defeat.

Player Spotlight

Name: Ivan (a.k.a. Leg Breaker)

Species: Human?

Height: 188 cm

Weight: 130 kg

Hair: Black

Eyes: Dark Brown

Build: Burly

Psych Evaluation: Relative Stability.

Other Pertinant Information: Ivan like his father before him is a violinmaker.