I can't believe he's gone. He's gone. Master Splinter is gone. What the shell!? As if he is gone! As if he left us here all alone! He still had so much more to teach us! To teach me! Who the shell do I go to for advice now? My brothers are great, but they don't have the wisdom or maturity that Master Splinter has…had. I'll never get used to placing him in the past tense. He wasn't supposed to go anywhere anytime soon. He was supposed to watch us grow and become adults, not only see us through the first fifteen years! I know turtles outlive rats, but he was part human too, so he could've still had plenty more years to go, had Shredder not betrayed him in the worst possible moment.

Though if you think about it, Shredder has hurt everyone he's ever cared about. He killed the woman he loved just to hurt Hamato Yoshi (and let him believe his daughter was dead as well) – he blamed Yoshi for Tang Shen not wanting to be with him. He turned Karai into a mutant snake and blamed me when he was the one who caused her to fall into the mutagen. He used her as bait, not me! Then after all these years, instead of for once doing the honourable thing, he chooses to complete his vengeance and murders Master Splinter – who had gone to him for help in saving the world. So much for honourable ninjas – even his henchmen were surprised and none too pleased with him carrying out his revenge instead of stopping the annihilation device. Apparently his vengeance was more important than anything else – even more so than Karai, the daughter he claims to love in his own sick, twisted way.

I'm not sure how I feel about earth being sucked into the black hole with all those humans and mutants on it. I'm glad to be rid of the Kraang for a while, but feel horrible for all those innocent people. They never asked for any of this – granted, neither did we. I am also glad to be rid of Shredder. I don't know how I'd react if I were to see him right now. I'd likely pull a Raph and go after him in anger, instead of plotting and executing a carefully thought out plan. I've never been the reckless type, but in my grief, I just may become that. And that is never a wise thing for a ninja to become. A ninja needs to be focused and stealthy and vigilant.

Though if ninjas are to be vigilant and always aware of their enemy, why didn't Master Splinter sense what Shredder was about to do!? I mean, Master Splinter always knew everything. He always knew when we were up to something, or had snuck out, or were lying. He always knew what advice to give, and when it was greatly needed. He always knew who was upset and needed comforting, and who was being a jerk because they had been confined too long. He just knew things that I guess every parent would usually know. He always seemed to have the answers to everything, and just had a way of calming one of us down when needed. I'm going to miss that. I'm going to miss him.

Is it wrong that a small part of me is glad the earth is gone right now? I know if we were home, I would be helping fuel Raphael's need for revenge. I'm sure he wants it as badly as I do. I'm sure, like me, he knows revenge is not the answer. Though if we ever see Shredder again, I also know I am going to be totally un-rational and go after him in anger and grief. Anger and grief can be the downfall of any good ninja. I need to be sure I not let it overcome me. It will be hard, but I need to do it – if not for me, for my brothers.

They are my sole responsibility now. They've always been my responsibility in a way, but I always knew Master Splinter was the one who was truly in charge and that his word was law. If he set his foot down, we listened (usually). If I set mine down, they're either going to laugh in my face or rebel – or both. Raph for sure will laugh and rebel. He's done that plenty of times already. Donnie will do his own thing most likely. He always has. But he's always been there when I needed him in the end. Mikey will surely laugh, but then follow orders. Unless Raph convinces him to do otherwise; he admires Raph more than necessary at times and will do just about anything he asks. This is going to be a challenge, but as leader I am going to have to overcome it like any other challenge I've ever faced. This challenge matters more now than ever; if one of us falls, we're all going to fall. And we can't fall.

We need to pull together in a time of adversity and sorrow, and go out and kick shell. We need to continue saving people/mutants/aliens. We need to get the earth back to where it belongs so that we can all go home. So that April and Casey can go home to their families. My family is with me; no matter where I go, they will follow. We're a unit. You get four for the price of one. You always have.

I'll miss you father…

Leonardo