Chapter 2

I awoke to the incessant ringing of my phone. Still bone tired from the previous night, I blearily reached over and pawed around until I found the source of my annoyance. "WHAT?!" I shouted angrily.

"Where the hell are you Harley? You're late!" Spat Diane, one of my friends from med school.

I groaned, realizing I totally flaked on our brunch date.

"Di, oh my God I am soooo sorry! You can't believe the night I had. I'm on my way, I can be there in twenty!" She tsked.

"Same old Harley. You forgot me didn't you, little miss scatterbrained?"

"I know, but I really do have a good excuse. I'll explain when I get there! Twenty, I promise!"

I threw my phone in my bag, threw on a tight pair jeans and a red V-neck sweater, raked a brush through my hair and put it up in a high ponytail, washed my face, brushed my teeth and flew out the door.

I made a sound of annoyance in the back of my throat when I got to my car, having temporarily forgotten about the damage, and of course, as predicted, my stereo was gone. All that was left were a few severed wires poking out from the gaping hole in my dashboard. I grumbled to myself as I headed downtown just as quickly as my sickly car would take me and I made it to Percy's Place with two minutes to spare.

Percy's may not look like much but they make the best waffles in Gotham and the prices are reasonable. I ran in and spotted Diane right away. She was tall and slim with delicate hands, surgeons' hands. We were in pre-med together and became fast friends. She was now a skilled neurosurgeon making quite a name for herself. She was featured on Good Morning Gotham a few weeks ago because her team was researching possible surgical remedies for mental illnesses and recently had a few breakthroughs in manipulation and regulation of the amygdala.

She didn't see me right away. She was nursing a latte and twirling a lock of golden hair between her fingers. I plopped down into the booth across from her which made her jump and lift her eyes to glare at me with a half pout, half smirk on her face.

"It's about time slo-poke!" I held up my hands in surrender.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry!"

"So what was it this time? You don't start at Arkham until Monday, you obviously weren't studying for finals and you don't look hung over..." she trailed off and tapped her lip as she said "Hmmmm, could it have been a man? Spill it Quinzel!" She impatiently started tapping her nails on the table.

"Well yeah, you could say that. It was definitely a man, but it's not what you think." Diane raised her eyebrows and swirled her hands in a "get on with it already" motion. I leaned in conspiratorially and whispered, "I had a run in with the Batman last night!" Diane's jaw dropped.

"You're full of it! You're just pulling my leg again aren't you?"

We were interrupted as the waiter came to take our order. Di got a veggie, egg white omelet, ugh gag me, and I ordered the Cap'n Crunchberry waffles. As we waited for our food I filled her in on the events of the previous evening. I was just about finished up with my story when our meals came. I buttered my waffles as I described the state of my now completely piece of crap car. When I finished Di stared at me flabbergasted.

"Harley, have you watched the news yet?" I gave her a puzzled look.

"Well, I intended to but I took a bath and got sleepy. Then I got up late and now I'm here. Why what am I missing?" She blew out an impatient breath.

"Harley, you really have no idea what was going on in Monolith Square last night?"

"Well don't keep me in suspense Di, tell me already!" Diane's shoulders slumped.

"It was the Joker. He set off canisters of that laughing gas he has. There was a children's choir giving a holiday concert. Harley, lots of people died."

I was dumbstruck. I was right there and I had no clue that people were dying just a few hundred yards from my car.

"That's horrible! What about the Joker, did they catch him?"

"As far as I know the Joker escaped the scene in a van with the Batman in hot pursuit. That was the last I heard. You realize what this means, right?" My lips pursed together and my brow creased in annoyance.

"Yeah, I totally know what it means, Di. It means the God damn Joker wrecked my friggin car! I swear if I ever get my hands on that big jerk I'll slap the smile right off his pasty face!"

I continued to seethe for a moment as Di burst out laughing uncontrollably. We gossiped and caught up as I plowed through my stack of sickly sweet, wafflly goodness. Since I had never gotten around to eating dinner yesterday, I had no regrets. We finished our food, hugged goodbye and went our separate ways.

I was able to get my hunk-a-junk back to my apartment although I had to deal with the mortification of everyone looking over at me on the road to see what on earth that horrible noise was. I was going to have to see if I could find someone to help me pull the wheel well out, hopefully that would at least make it sound better even if it looked like a hot mess.

I knew I had a big day on Monday and I wanted to be prepared so I spent the rest of the day tidying the apartment, doing laundry and grocery shopping. The evening was fairly uneventful. I was at the very least happy to have avoided any more run ins with costumed vigilantes or villains.

On Sunday I got up early and went for a long run in Robinson Park to clear my mind. It felt good to be outside even if it was freezing out. Once I got home I decided to do some homework. When I met with the director of Arkham Asylum, Dr. Jeremiah Arkham, to go over the new hire paperwork and expectations of the position he gave me a large file containing all of Arkham's policies and procedures, including the various security codes we needed to memorize. I had flipped through it earlier but I knew I hadn't memorized half of what I needed to so I spent most of the day in my PJ's pouring over the information.

When I noticed it was well past nightfall I decided I had earned a break. I walked over the counter and poured a cup of coffee, added lots of cream and sugar and wandered over to the window to gaze at the skyline. The view from my apartment wasn't great but you could make out Amusement Mile if you squinted through the buildings just right. Only not tonight. Instead of usual view of the Ferris wheel, I could only see a bright orange cloud rising into the sky. Then the sound hit me, the force of which shook the windows of the apartment building. A loud 'BOOM' followed by a 'whoosh' that blew my bangs back from my forehead.

What the hell? Something just exploded on Amusement Mile, something huge! I was about to dial 911 when the fireworks started. Big, bright fireworks in greens and oranges and purples exploded in the sky. Fireworks always made me feel all tingly inside. Some of them were exploding in the form of letters. H.A. H.A. Moments later another light filled the sky, the Bat-signal. It was pretty obvious to me that the Joker was still on the loose and that more people were likely dead because of him.

What the hell was wrong with this guy? I swear, I'd love to get this mook on my couch one day to try and figure out which screw was loose. If I could figure clown boy out it would make for one hell of a book. I contemplated it. It'd be a best-seller, I bet. Book signing tours would follow and interviews. I bet I could even get on Oprah! Maybe even SNL, although SNL has kinda sucked lately. I shrugged. It was something to think about anyway.

I rolled the thought around for another few minutes then shook my head at myself. Who the heck did I think I was kidding? Dr. Arkham would never grant me access to someone like the Joker. The ink on my medical license had barely dried. Heck I'd be lucky to work with one of the D-listers like Maxie Zeus or Killer Moth, at least until I had time to prove myself a competent psychologist.

The sound of myriad sirens filled the air and I watched lines of flashing lights racing towards Amusement Mile. I realized it was pretty late and decided I had enough excitement for one day so I packed my lunch for work, laid out my clothes, washed up and hit the sack. Slowly the sound of sirens lulled me into a peaceful and dreamless sleep.