Chapter 10
I was dreading the inevitable fallout from my attack on the Joker. I was afraid to even drink a glass of water as I was positive it would make me vomit. I attacked the Joker. What the hell was I thinking? I attacked the freaking Joker! Truth be told it actually felt pretty damn good to get some retribution in on that smarmy bastard but the consequences surely would not be worth it.
When I got to work I didn't even bother stopping at my office, I went straight to see Dr. Arkham. I stood outside those big wooden doors wringing my hands and trying to will myself into action. As I raised my fist to knock, the door opened and I was greeted by a rather cheerful looking Jerimiah.
"There she is! Just the girl I wanted to see! Come in, come in." Had the pod people been here overnight and taken over the body of our director? Dr. Arkham was not known for his cheerfulness and even less so for being friendly. As he walked over to his desk he glanced over at me and said, "So Slugger, I heard about the little incident last night."
"Dr. Arkham I am soooo sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. He touched me inappropriately and I just reacted!" I blurted out in a rush.
"Harleen, relax, Kenneth told me the whole story. Joker slapped your bottom and you gave him what he deserved. No harm done."
It had to be the pod people, it was the only reasonable explanation. Was I still asleep and this was some crazy dream? I pinched my knee, nope definitely awake. What the hell was going on here?
"Dr. Arkham, I a-attacked the J-Joker. Are you telling me I'm not f-fired?" He let out a belly laugh and leaned back in his chair.
"Certainly not! Are you under the impression that there has never been an incident of an orderly or security guard getting a little too rough with a patient? This is a hospital for the criminally insane, we house the worst of the worst and they give as good as they get. Actually I was rather impressed."
Okay I was beginning to consider demonic possession as the cause for his unusual behavior. I attacked the Joker and Arkham was proud of me? This had to be a practical joke, right? Arkham smiled at me.
"You broke his nose, did you know?"
"N-no, I didn't know. Dr. Arkham, I don't understand. I, um-, He stopped me from continuing.
"Look Harley, I don't just need competent doctors working here at the asylum. I need competent doctors who can hold their own and who have the guts to deal with these animals on their level. You've just proven that you can. You continue to impress me every day. You're intuitive and intelligent, your observations on the Joker are insightful and unique. Your patients are being discharged at a rate we haven't seen here in years. In three weeks you've cured nine patients, patients who are now out in the world fully living their lives thanks to you. It's unprecedented. You have a gift and I plan to put that gift to good use."
"Thank you sir."
"Congratulations Harleen, you have made it to the big leagues. Effective immediately you are being re-assigned to Intensive Treatment." He handed me a stack of files, "Review these files very carefully, this lot can be slippery. You'll begin with Tetch on Monday. You'll continue observing Dr. Young's sessions with the Joker, that hasn't changed, and the rest of your sessions are detailed here." He handed me my patient schedule. Besides Jervis Tetch the Mad Hatter I would be treating Pamela Isely aka Poison Ivy, Arnold Wesker who called himself the Ventriloquist and his dummy Scarface and Waylon Jones the Killer Croc. Arkham extended his hand, "Good luck Dr. Quinzel, I know you'll do just fine." I reciprocated the handshake as I tried to wrap my head around this development.
"One more thing, this Friday the Wayne Foundation is holding a charity ball to help raise funds for necessary upgrades to our security. I would like you to be there to represent the asylum. It's a masked gala event, formal dress of course. Bring a date. This is your invitation."
I took the slim black and silver envelope and read the fancy looping script. The ball would be held on New Year's Eve at Wayne Manor. Jeremiah then walked me to the door. As he put his hand on the doorknob he leaned in and said, "Kenneth says you have one hell of a right hook. Bravo, Doctor."
I was dazed as I slowly walked back to my office. I cancelled my first two sessions, I was still processing the information. I was now officially unrestricted. I had been promoted to treat the most complex cases we had. I was earning the respect of my peers. I went from dazed to giddy and from giddy to elated. I could barely contain my joy. Everything I had ever dreamed of was finally coming to fruition! I was Harleen Quinzel the Psycho Whisperer! Well maybe that was going a little too far but I was still high on adrenaline and praise. My whole life had turned on a dime for socking a clown in the nose. Who woulda thunk it?
I was pulled out of my reverie by the realization that I had a ball to attend in four days and no dress or date.
I ducked into the ladies room, touched up my makeup and straightened my skirt and headed down to the infirmary. Ben was on duty as I suspected. I had thought about asking Dick to be my date, but I didn't want to lead him on. Plus, since I was representing Arkham Asylum I felt going with a colleague was a good and safe idea. Ben turned and smiled when he saw me.
"Hey there killer! Heard you put the clown in his place last night. I hope it makes you feel better to know I had to re-break his nose in order to set it."
I cringed, it actually did make me feel better which didn't make sense to me. Since when did I get off on pain? Well other people's pain at least.
"Hey Ben, good to see ya. Anything new and exciting?" He scoffed.
"Other than the Joker getting his ass handed to him by a girl, no not really."
I couldn't help but laugh, but I covered my mouth as I did. No one takes gigglers seriously after all.
"So what can I do ya for, Harley?" I smiled at him sheepishly and rocked back and forth on the ball of one foot.
"So, um, Doc Arkham is making me attend this boring gala up at Wayne Manor on New Year's Eve and I'm supposed to bring a date, but I have no one to ask so I thought maybe you'd do me a solid and go-" He smiled broadly as I babbled.
"Of course I'll go Harley. I would be honored." I sighed a breath of relief.
"Thank you Ben! You're a life saver!"
"How can I turn down the gal that punched out our most dangerous criminal lunatic? I'd have to be crazy to say no."
We chatted for a little longer and then I resumed sessions for the day. I still couldn't believe everything that had happened. As it neared quitting time I realized I still needed a dress and panicked. There was a high end secondhand shop downtown called Celine's Cellar and I rushed there as soon as I got off of work.
Luck was really on my side for a change. Celine's had a limited selection in my size but I still found something perfect. It was a strapless dress with a black satin corset top and a full skirt in a black and red diamond pattern. The skirt had a subtle split up the left side that allowed glimpses of leg as I turned and walked. I also found a nice pair of black stiletto peek toe pumps and a large elaborate faux ruby necklace. I went the extra mile and bought the elbow length red satin gloves to pair it with. The whole ensemble made me feel like a princess in a fairy story. When I paid and left the store I realized I was still missing an important piece to my outfit. I drove over to a year round costume shop I remembered seeing. I browsed the mask aisle until I found the perfect one. It was a simple black satin domino mask with red, black and white feathers that spread out from my right temple and swept up into my hair.
I was actually getting kind of excited about the ball. My outfit was great, I'd likely see Dick and Ben was my date. I really liked Ben. He wasn't particularly exceptional in any way but he was sweet and thoughtful. He had a good head on his shoulders and a great work ethic. He also seemed to kinda like me too. I hated to admit it but lately I was considering ignoring my "no casual dalliance" philosophy. Three years was too long a dry spell and I was getting that itch a lot lately. No, I liked Ben but he was a co-worker and I fully believed in the concept of "don't shit where you eat". Then there was Dick, who was exceptional in every way but I also knew him well enough to know he never kept a girlfriend long. Plus he was my friend and I didn't want screw that up. No I guess I'd have to lock my libido up and suffer in silence a little bit longer.
The next morning was cold but the sky was blue and cloudless, which you rarely saw in Gotham City. I figured it was a sign of good things to come. Boy was I ever wrong. As I left my apartment building the very first thing I noticed was a big empty space where my car should have been. Seriously? Out of all the cars in this neighborhood they steal the fourteen-year-old, beat to hell Nissan? Really?
I called Joan and let her know I'd be late, then called the Gotham PD to make a report. When I finished up with the cops I walked the four blocks to the nearest subway station. Unfortunately, it's four of the worst blocks in the Bowery. It was only nine in the morning yet there were already hookers out on the corners and I had to step over a passed out junkie to get to the MetroCard machine. I saw my train pull in as I was going through the turnstile and I had to sprint down the platform to make it. I finally got to the asylum just a few minutes prior to Dr. Young's session with the Joker. As I hurried down the hall towards the observation room I felt the bobby pins in my bun digging into the skin at the nape of my neck. It was uncomfortable enough for me to stop in the middle of the hallway, and adjust the pins while juggling my notebook. I finished fidgeting with my hair just in time and I ducked into my room as Dr. Young was arriving. Shortly thereafter the orderlies brought the Joker in. He had a bandage taped across the bridge of his nose and both eyes were partially blackened. I still couldn't believe I had done that to him. The weights were obviously paying off. Dr. Young cleared her throat and began the session.
"Tuesday December 28th 1 PM, patient 0801, real name unknown, moniker The Joker. So Mr. Joker in our last session we were discussing this feud between you and the Riddler. What exactly set that off?"
The Joker was unusually twitchy and agitated today. His pupils were dilated and his eyes kept darting around the room. His body language screamed impatience and I didn't like it one bit. Still he answered the question.
"Well Doc, he tried to steal my spotlight, now he's gotta pay."
"What do you mean when you say he stole your spotlight?" Joker bared his teeth at her and growled.
"I said ALMOST stole, you boob! That second rate, poor excuse for a villain can never match MY greatness!"
"Why do you say that Mr. Joker? The Riddler is highly intelligent, strategic and he's outwitted the Batman before. Doesn't that put him in the same class as you?" I stopped taking notes and glanced up. No, no, no! Change the subject Dr. Young, you're just antagonizing him, I thought.
"You think robbing a bank and leaving a stupid riddle as a damn clue is on the same level as my work?
"Well isn't it?"
The Joker stood up as far as his chains would allow, hunched over the table and began screaming at Dr. Young.
"Intelligent? Strategic? I am a genius in the area of criminal endeavor! I'm the freaking Einstein of Crime! Mass murder, maimings, torture and terror, I've done it all! The Riddler? Amateur night in Dixie!"
Dr. Young slid her chair back as far as she could to get some distance from her raving patient, but she didn't stop her current line of questioning. I was suddenly very anxious and considered going to get a security guard to get the Joker out of that room.
"Well Mr. Joker, the Riddler is still free but you're in here. Doesn't that imply that the Riddler was cleverer than you to evade capture?"
The veins on Joker's forehead were throbbing and he was visibly seething. Was she nuts?
"No you nincompoop! Riddler's still free because he's not a threat! The Bat had to come after me or I would have kept killing people. THAT'S why he's still out there! He's annoying, he's predictable, he tries unsuccessfully to steal my press and my bat, but the bottom line is he's not a damn threat to anyone but himself!"
The Joker sat back down, chest heaving from the effort of screaming and pulling at his chains, but he seemed much calmer all of a sudden. He actually smiled and asked the Doctor conversationally, "So, did that answer your question, Doc?"
Convinced Dr. Young was out of danger I turned back to my notes and furiously scribbled down my thoughts. I wasn't sure what Arkham was going to make of them when I turned in my report on Friday, but my gut was telling me I was on the right track this time.
"Yes Mr. Joker, thank you for your cooperation."
"So Doc, about that request last week. What did ole Jerry have to say, eh? I've been a very good boy, so when do I get my new shrink?" She glanced up at him briefly as she finished up her own notes from the session.
"I'm sorry but the director has denied your request."
"That's not funny."
"I'm not joking." The Joker went stock still as he glared daggers at Dr. Young.
"Soooo Doc, it's come down to this, has it? Jerry is going to force my hand? Alrighty then." He said casually with a shrug.
Without warning the Joker was out of his cuffs and diving across the table. He tackled Dr. Young to the ground. I started pounding on the glass as if that was going to be able to stop him. Dr. Young was thrashing around trying to wriggle away but Joker had her pinned. I realized I had my portable panic button and pressed it quickly. He took his thumbs and pressed them into Dr. Young's eye sockets. I heard a sickly pop as blood sprayed up onto the Jokers face. Joker laughed as he did it though he paused his torture long enough to taunt her.
"Dr. Young, I'm going to have to ask you to kindly keep still while I kill you."
Where the hell were the guards? Why weren't they here yet? Then Joker must have lost interest in his latest victim because he put her in a choke hold and wrenched her neck to one side. I heard a loud crack and it took everything in me not to vomit. He released her and she slumped lifelessly on her side. Joker stood and looked into the mirror, then he bent down and gathered some of Dr. Young's blood on his fingers and drew a large heart on the glass. Inside the heart he wrote J + HQ. Then the guards burst through the door dressed in riot gear and billy-clubbed the Joker to the ground. My head was spinning and the last thing I heard before I fainted was the Joker saying.
"Ow, c'mon guys not in the face! Can't you take a joke?"