Chapter 8
"What's up Lex Luther?" Anya asked as she walked into Lexa's kitchen? "I was surprised to see your car in the drive way."
Lexa raised an eyebrow at her friend who now sat on her counter. "I take it you met Octavia last night. My mom is going to kill you, get off her counter, and I have the day off because I need to make some international phone calls later today."
Anya nodded as she opened the bottle of water Lexa threw at her. "I like that girl, she's funny and you used to let Clarke Kent sit on the counters all time. Plus I've been sitting on this here counter for years, can't break old habits."
"Quiet with that, Costia is sleeping."
Even though she knew she shouldn't Anya burst out into a fit of laughter. "I can't believe you don't let her sit on the counter. It's a comfy counter. When are you going to realize that you don't like it because it reminds you of someone else and not for the sanitary reasons you claim." Anya yawned and shook her head when she finished talking.
"How late did you stay out?"
Anya shrugged. "We had fun, you should have stayed, it was like old times. Raven is throwing a party at the club next week for everyone. Monty and Jasper are coming home from god only knows where so it'll be the first time we've all been back at the same time."
"A party? Do you know how busy I am?" Lexa looked at her best friend as she took a bite of the apple she grabbed out of the fridge.
"A party sounds like fun though." Anya looked up to see Costia walk up behind Lexa and wrap her arms around her waist. "Please?"
Lexa shot Anya a look, she clearly knew exactly what her best friend was thinking and that it consisted of a rude 'you weren't invited'. "Yeah Lex Luther, a party sounds like fun."
"Lex Luther?" Costia asked.
Lexa shook her head. "An old friend used to call me that but I don't think it's a good idea. I don't want to parade around Clarke."
"Is that why we've barely gone out since she's been home, because you don't want to 'parade' our relationship around? Christ Lexa it's been four years, she cheated on you remember? Why should you have to hide around?"
Anya took that as her cue to leave. She silently got down off the counter and waved her arm in the air. She definitely didn't want to be around for that fight, except she sort of did but she knew Lexa would kill her if she pulled out some popcorn and started watching.
"I'm not hiding around, we have our life Costia, but that doesn't mean I want to make this harder for everyone. I don't want to fight with her and I've been trying really hard to make it cordial and then you went and invited her to my mom's birthday party without even asking me. You weren't doing it to be nice, you were trying to stick it to her."
"Is that what Anya said?" Costia folded her arms across her chest. "She doesn't like me, she's never going to like me but she sure as hell loves Clarke. She came in here talking about how awesome it was and how great Clarke is. Some best friend."
Lexa closed her eyes, trying to swallow all the things she wanted to say. "I get it, you're upset, it's hard for you that she's back but I told you when we got together and I'm saying it again Clarke and I are done but we have a mutual life. We've always run in the same circles, me trying to be nice to her is to show you that I'm over it. It's me trying to be a supportive girlfriend. I'm sorry that you're taking me not wanting to parade us around as something more but it's not. It's called courtesy. Her mom is here, most of her friends are here and I don't want us to be the reason she turns down a great job opportunity."
"So it's not because you're ashamed of us?"
"No, it's not because I'm ashamed of us, it's just difficult to explain. We have a lot of history and I know you know a lot of it but not all of it. She's like a second daughter to my parents, especially after her dad died so while her and I weren't close back then, they have that relationship and I know that that's something that's important to her. I'm trying to be an adult about all of this. What's really going on?"
"You let Anya sit on the counter. You used to let her sit on the counter. I remember how quickly you used to answer the phone if she called, or how you'd ignore my calls if you were with here."
"We were in a long distance relationship, we barely had us time together so when we did we tried to make the most of it. I was a kid, I didn't have the same responsibility I do now. People change, I'm not the same person I used to be, I got hurt really badly but is all this really about people sitting on the counter, because Anya does it to annoy me."
Costia turned around as a tear fell from her eye. "I used to have the biggest crush on you, and I used to think you were the perfect girlfriend, the perfect person but you're so different with me than you are with her."
Lexa exhaled, she was never going to win this battle. She didn't think she was that different but she had grown up, she had changed. Her life wasn't the same. She moved behind her girlfriend and wrapped her arms around her waist and kissed her cheek. "That's because you're different people, yes I loved her once and there will always be a place in my heart for her because of all the history. I care about her life but I'm not in love with Clarke Griffin anymore. I love you Cos and I'm sorry that I didn't realize how hard her being back here was on you. I know how hard you have tried with Anya and you have to know how much I love that about you but Anya will be Anya."
Costia nodded as she turned around in Lexa's arms. "She cheated on you and hurt you so bad. It broke my heart to watch that happen to you and Anya acts like nothing happened, like it was okay. It bothers me that she's all chummy with someone who hurt you so badly."
"I appreciate that you're being protective but you don't know their relationship or understand it and neither do I. It's between them it really doesn't bother me that they're still friends. I would never expect Anya to take sides.
"You still stick up for her, you make excuses for her now the same way you did back then."
Lexa back away and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I'm not making excuses I'm calling it exactly how it is. I don't know why you do this, you compare yourself and our relationship to Clarke. I'm not dating Clarke, I'm dating you. You don't have to remind me that she cheated on me, I'm well aware. I can't do this with you right now, you need to figure out if you can get over my past, when you decide let me know. I'm going down to the beach, I don't know how long I'll be."
With that Lexa walked towards the door, picked up her small bag and exited her house before Costia could say another word.
XOXO
"What's wrong Lexi?"
Lexa inwardly groaned, she hadn't that nickname but was far to polite to say anything about it. "Waiting for Clarke to call, we were supposed to talk tonight but it doesn't look like that's happening."
"Everything okay in paradise?" Costia asked as she sat down next to her friend and now colleague.
"I honestly don't know. Sometimes I think I hold her back and I don't want to. I want her to be free, I don't want to be the person that stops her from accomplishing her goals and her dreams. I just miss her and I know it is so stupid but sometimes I'm not sure she feels the same."
"She'd be a fool not too." Lexa looked over at her friend with a sad smile. "I hate to say this but you deserve better than that. You deserve so much more than she's giving you. To be honest it seems like she's started a new life and left you in this one and I know that's not what you want to hear."
Lexa shook her head, she really didn't want to believe that. "I think I'm being crazy and over dramatic. She's worried that you have this secret crush on me and maybe I'm deflecting that by thinking she has someone too."
"Someone too?"
Lexa nodded. "Yeah, a good friend outside of our regular circle that she can talk too." She didn't see the look that washed over Costia's face but if she had she probably would have realized in that moment just how accurate Clarke's accusations had been.
"I'm glad you think we're close enough that you can talk to me about these things."
"You don't really think she'd cheat on me do? I mean that's crazy. We've talked about getting married one day, settling down in Laguna, not that I think either of us will ever really settle down." She chuckled at the thought of them being Laguna housewives, they both loved work too much.
"I'm only being a good friend when I say this but she's been acting shady. She never calls you back, she's barely ever home, she used to text you all the time and now I rarely ever see her your phone flash with her name on it."
Lexa seriously thought about Costia's words for a minute but that was all it took. "No. She's busy at the hospital, residencies are grueling, every time I talk to her she sounds exhausted, not like she's been out gallivanting around New York City."
"I just don't want you to get hurt, so I hope for your sake that she comes around and figures out what she has before it's too late. Be careful Lexa, I know you trust her but I don't."
"It's a good thing then that I trust her completely." She appreciated Costia being there for her but no one was going to put Clarke down, especially when she hadn't done anything to deserve it. She knew she was being crazy, and that she just missed her girlfriend and more importantly her best friend.
XOXO
Clarke sat on the beach, drawing the scenery around her. It had been awhile since she found the down time to draw but her shift at the hospital didn't start for another 8 hours and she was bored. Octavia and Raven were both at work, her mom was at the hospital and she didn't want to walk around town only to have more people approach her about how sad they were when they found out about her and Lexa but that they were glad she was finally home. So she retreated down to the private beach where tourists were absolutely not allowed. She put her headphones in and tried to let her body relax and soak up the sun.
She saw someone out in the water, waiting for the right wave to come in but they were too far away for her to see whom it was. It reminded her of when she used to draw as Lexa surfed with Jasper and Nyko. Without thinking anymore her pencil started to draw lines on the paper and before she knew it she looked up to see the person out in the water start to paddle in. She looked back down at her page and continued to draw. When she looked back up again she saw the person stand their board in the sand and untie her hair, flipping it back over her head. She was slightly mesmerized by the water the droplets of water caressed down the woman's body, over exposed abs.
Her breath hitched in her throat and she forced herself to look away. Shaking her head she flipped the page and let her pencil do the work. She knew who was standing in front of her but she couldn't stop her pencil from drawing perfect lines on the page, she looked up one more time to see the woman with a smirk on her face, head tilted slightly, curly hair flowing over her shoulder looking right at her. She tried to look past her at the water but she couldn't so instead she forced herself to look back down.
She felt her sit down next to her but her music was too loud of her to hear anything. After a minute she felt the woman tap her shoulder. She pulled one ear bud out and looked over at the woman.
"Are you going to give me a face or are you calling this one the faceless surfer?"
Clarke raised an eyebrow. "I think it's better like this. I'm sorry I didn't realize it was you at first."
"It's fine, I'm just messing with you but I do have a great face so it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to draw."
"Lexa? Shut up." It didn't come out rude, and Clarke was glad that instead of saying anything else Lexa laughed in response. "Why is it you find me no matter where I hide from you?"
"I could ask you the same thing."
"Why are you sitting here Lexa?"
Lexa shrugged. "Just kind of happened and I wanted to see what you were drawing and I'm avoiding going home." Clarke nodded without asking why. She didn't need to, she knew Lexa was upset. "I hate that you know. I didn't say anything and you know."
"Sorry." Clarke didn't bother looking up from her paper. "I should go. Feel better." She closed her sketchbook and stood up.
"Clarke, I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt you. Stay, I'll leave." Lexa stood up and inadvertently caused them to be a little too close.
"It's fine, I need to get ready for my shift anyways."
"Are you going to Raven's party?" Lexa wasn't sure why she asked but it slipped out without her thinking.
Clarke nodded. "I don't really have a choice Octavia and Raven say I work too much and now they have my mother agreeing and since she is currently my boss they're all making my life a living hell." Lexa bit the inside of her cheek as she nodded slightly. "If you want to go you should, it's a big club, we can avoid each other."
"Okay."
"Okay."
XOXO
An hour later Lexa finally walked back into her house. All was quiet and she figured Costia had left. She knew she should go after her but she needed to clear her mind. Seeing Clarke on the beach felt all to familiar, it was easy for her to hate her when she was on the other side of the country but seeing made it hard for her to remember how much pain she had caused her. Every time she talked to her she hoped that it would make being angry easier but thus far it had had the opposite effect.
She started to peel off her shirt as she walked into her room. She tossed it into the corner where her laundry hamper was and saw Costia sitting on the edge of her bed. "Sorry, I thought you had left."
The woman didn't looked up and Lexa realized she was looking at something in her hand. "I found this in your desk drawer when I was looking for your notepad." Lexa didn't know what to say, she wasn't expecting this to happen this way. "Yes."
"What?" She was pulled from her thoughts.
"My answer is yes."
XOXO
Jasper wrapped his arm around Clarke's shoulders as Monty handed her a drink. "So now that you and Lexa are officially no more, how about you finally give your good buddy Jasper a shot at love?"
Clarke rolled her eyes as she sipped on her vodka tonic. "This drink isn't strong enough for me to agree to that and we've been officially over for four years."
Jasper shook his head. "Wasn't official until you came home."
"You saw me in New York less than a year ago! You know when I found you on our roof pretending to surf because you had way too much to smoke."
Across the room Anya was standing next to Raven who had one headphone on and the other resting against the side of her head. "I don't think, that's how those work." Anya joked as she leaned in so that Raven could hear her.
"I'm spinning, I need too hear what's going on out here and what's going on here." She pointed towards her turntable. "Otherwise you'll be bitching at me about bad transitions."
"True."
"Have you heard from Lexa? Is she coming? Because if she is we need to work on getting Clarke a lot more intoxicated."
Anya laughed, she knew exactly how true that was. "It wouldn't be a reunion without us all getting drunk anyways but she did say she was coming but who knows. Speaking of getting drunk though, I'm going to get a drink, you want?" Raven nodded as Anya started to walk away.
xoxo
"When do you think they'll admit that they're dating?" Raven asked as she leaned against the bar next to Anya. They were currently watching Clarke and Lexa, who happened to be in the middle of the dance floor, dancing like it wasn't a packed club.
"From the looks of it they are way more than dating." Anya answered as she watched Clarke's arm wrap around Lexa's waist pulling them closer together. Her head was tilted forward over Lexa's shoulder. Clearly whispering something as they continued to move.
"And that it's been happening for awhile because it looks like they've practiced this." They were moving in perfect sync.
xoxo
"They're watching us, it's a little weird." Clarke whispered into Lexa's ear.
"I'd watch us to." Lexa laughed as she leaned her head back on Clarke's shoulder before turning around in her arms as she started to sing the words to the blonde in front of her. "Baby us dancing so close ain't a good idea cause I'm gonna want you now and here. The way that you shake it on me makes me want you so bad sexually oh girl."
Clarke leaned her head back and laughed as Lexa wrapped her arm around Clarke's waist. She so badly wanted to lean forward and kiss the side of her neck but they hadn't told their friends about them yet. Clarke smiled as she looked back at her and rest her arm across her shoulder before leaning in. Lexa could feel her warm breath against her ear and it sent a chill down her spin. "Screw it." Before she could process what Clarke said she felt her head being tilted forward and soft lips on hers as they continued to move together.
XOXO
"I don't see them." Costia leaned into her fiancé's as she looked around the main room.
Lexa shook her head with a laugh as she ordered them both drinks. "They wouldn't be in the main room. Raven is probably spinning upstairs, if I know them at all."
"Raven is a DJ? I thought she was a rocket scientist?"
Lexa nodded as she handed Costia her drink. "She's a woman of many wonders. I know you prefer top 40 but I promise a little old school won't hurt you."
Costia smiled. "I invited some of the girls if that's okay? They'll be here a little later."
"That's fine, I know this is a little awkward for you."
"I want you to have fun, don't worry about me, let's go find your friends." Lexa took a hold of her hand and led them upstairs. "How do you know this place so well? We've barely come here."
Lexa turned her head and smiled as she wiggled her eyebrows. "I never used to be so boring and Raven owns the place so I've spent my fair share of time here."
"She owns it?!" Lexa laughed as she pulled her into the next room where sure enough they saw Raven on stage, nodding her head along with the music as she looked down at her turntables.
The sounds of 90's hip hop and RnB filled their ears, the bass was deep, the sound was loud and Lexa had to admit she had missed the environment. She was well out of her party days but she definitely needed to let loose and she was a little excited to see her friends. As she moved further into the room she saw Anya standing next to the bar.
"Boo." She yelled in her ear as she walked up behind her friend, letting Costia's hand go.
Anya turned around ready to kill but smiled once she saw who it was. "You made it!" Anya wrapped her friend up into a hug before giving Costia a small side hug to appease her best friend. She watched the as the other woman put her glass on the bar and saw the diamond on her finger. Looking between Costia's hand and Lexa, Anya raised an eyebrow.
"I'll explain later." Lexa leaned in whispered.
"Congrats." Was all she could say to Costia who grinned like a fool.
"Where are Monty and Jasper?" Lexa followed Anya's gaze out to the dance floor and sure enough there were Monty and Jasper dancing around like fools. She couldn't help but notice that they were dancing with Clarke and Octavia. Her eyes trailed down and saw took in the white dress that Clarke was wearing, her hair curled perfectly, age had definitely done her justice. She couldn't help the laugh she let out at Monty and Jasper trying to get in between the two girls. Something's never changed, Monty and Jasper were prime examples of that.
"Well if it isn't the Commander." Lexa barely heard the words but she had heard them as she turned around.
The smile that took over her face couldn't be explained as she wrapped her arms around her old friend. "Echo! Holy shit."
"Surprise."
"What are you?"
"Doing here?" Her friend finished as she leaned so that she could be heard. "Gustus just picked me up from the airport. Come on, it wouldn't be a reunion without me here now would it and I heard you just got engaged, congrats but what's she doing over there with dumb and dumber?" It took Lexa a minute to piece it together before she realized whom Echo was talking about. She heard her let out a laugh. "Kidding, congrats though."
"Thank you, Costia," she reached out and touched her fiancé's arm making the girl turn around. "This is Echo, Echo this is Costia." She leaned into both of their eyes as she spoke.
"She's not bad Lex, good job."
Lexa nodded with a smile as Anya handed her another drink before dragging Gustus out onto the dance floor towards Clarke and Octavia. She felt someone bump into her as they tried to get to the bar. "I'm so sorry." He turned around and apologized with a sincere smile. Her heart stopped as she realized who he was. She nodded as she turned back towards Costia and Echo.
Lexa's face lit up as she heard the song changed, she loved this song. "I see you Commander." She heard Raven say over the microphone. Laughing she leaned in towards Costia. "I apologize for what's about to happen."
"Ohh shittt." Echo yelled as Lexa's head started moving with the music.
"I said a hip, hop, the hippie, the hippie,to the hip hip-hop, and you don't stop.
The rock it to the bang-bang, boogie say up jump the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat. Now, what you have here is not a test, I'm rapping to the beat and me, the groove, and my friends are gonna try to move your feet. See I am Wonder Mike and I'd like to say "hello". To the black, to the white, the red and the brown, the purple and yellow but first I gotta bang bang the boogie to the boogie. Say up jump the boogie to the bang-bang boogie. Let's rock, you don't stop, rock the riddle that will make your body rock. Well so far you've heard my voice but I brought two friends along and next on the mic is my man Hank. Come on, Hank, sing that song." Lexa finally took a breath and Echo high-fived her. There was a smile on Costia's face but she wasn't quite sure what to make of seen.
"So you can rap!" She heard Octavia's voice in her ear. She saw her take the drink of tall dark and brooding's hand before telling him to being the other over to Clarke who was still out on the floor. "Thanks, cause because of you I've had to deal with that for years."
As if on cue they heard Raven's voice again. "Ah Lexa still has it! Let's hear it Clarke Kent!"
Clarke laughed as she took the drink from Bellamy. "Check it out, I'm the c-a-s-an-the-o-v-a and the rest is see, I go by the code of the doctor of the mix and these reasons I'll tell ya why. Ya see I'm six foot one and I'm tons of fun and I dress to a T, ya see I got more clothes than Muhammad Ali and I dress so viciously. I got bodyguards, I got two big cars that definitely ain't the whack.I got a Lincoln continental and a sunroof Cadillac. So after school, I take a dip in the pool which really is on the wall. I got a color TV so I can see the Knicks play me talking bout checkbooks, credit cards
more money than a sucker could ever spend, but I wouldn't give a sucker or a bum from the Rucker. Not a dime 'til I made it again, you go hotel motel whatcha gonna do today. I'm gonna get a fly girl, gonna get some spanking, drive off in a def OJ. Everybody go, hotel motel holiday inn. Say if your girl starts acting up, then you take her friend. Master Gee, am I mellow, it's on you so what you gonna do?"
"Alright everyone, usually me or A-Boogie take over but since we have a very special guest in the buidling tonight I'm gonna throw this one out to here. Let's go New York, you got this ya little Yankee, bring us home!"
Lexa looked over her shoulder at Octavia with a smirk on her face. Octavia finished the drink she had just gotten and gave Lexa the finger. "Well it's on and on and on on and on
The beat don't stop until the break of dawn. I said m-a-s, t-e-r, a g with a double e. I said I go by the unforgettable name. Of the man they call the Master Gee. Well, my name is known all over the world. By all the foxy ladies and the pretty girls.I'm going down in history as the baddest rapper there could ever be. Now I'm feeling the highs and ya feeling the lows. The beat starts getting into your start popping ya fingers and stomping your feet and moving your body while you're sitting in your seat and the damn ya start doing the freak. I said damn, right outta your seat. Then ya throw your hands high in the rocking to the rhythm, shake your derrière. Ya rocking to the beat without a care. With the sure-shot m.c.s for the affair. Now, I'm not as tall as the rest of the gang but I rap to the beat just the same. I got a little face and a pair of brown eyes. All I'm here to do ladies is hypnotize. Singing on and on and on on and on, the beat don't stop until the break of dawn. Singing on and on and on on and on. Like a hot buttered a pop da pop da pop dibbie dibbie. Pop da pop pop ya don't dare stop. Come alive y'all gimme what ya got. I guess by now you can take a hunch and find that I am the baby of the bunch but that's okay I still keep in stride 'cause all I'm here to do is just wiggle your behind. Singing on and on and on on and on the beat don't stop until the break of dawn. Singing on and on and on on and on. Rock rock y'all throw it on the floor. I'm gonna freak ya here I'm gonna freak ya there I'm gonna move you outta this atmosphere cause I'm one of a kind and I'll shock your mind. I'll put t-t-tickets in your behind. I said 1-2-3-4, come on girls get on the floor. A-come alive, y'all a-gimme what ya got 'cause I'm guaranteed to make you rock."
Once she was done, Octavia ordered another drink and looked at Lexa. "Now that's how you rap Lex Luther! East coast style!"
They both laughed as they cheersed their glasses. Raven changed the song and everyone screamed. Looking up Lexa saw Clarke dancing with Mr. Broody who surprisingly had a smile on his. His hand resting on her hip as they moved with the music.
"Lexa! You finally made it!" Monty yelled over the music as he hugged friend.
"Hi Monty, have you met Costia before?"
Monty shook his head before shaking Costia's hand gently as Jasper threw his arm around Lexa's shoulder. "So when are we getting married?"
"Take it Clarke turned you down already?"
"You know you're the only one for me."
"She's taken!" Costia yelled over the music and held up her ring finger for everyone to see.
Monty, Jasper and Octavia all looked over at Lexa. Shaking her head, Octavia walked away without another word. This was definitely not the way she wanted her friends to find out about her engagement.
"He was just joking." Lexa said as she leaned into Costia.
"I know, I was trying to get in on it." Lexa nodded as Jasper and Monty hugged her and then Costia.
"Guess it really is a party tonight." Jasper joked as he got another beer. "Let's get your sexy booty out on the floor Lex, come on."
Lexa looked back at Costia. "Go, I'm going to go see if the girls are here yet." She pecked Lexa on the lips before walking away.
XOXO
"Come on, you two used to know the words to every single song!" Anya yelled at her two friends who couldn't have been standing further apart.
Clarke was having a hard time keeping her eyes off of Lexa in the tight green dress she was wearing. Her hair was wavy, toned down from her natural curls but it still suited her. She had to remind herself that she was no longer hers and that it was partially her own fault.
"Move bitch, get out the way." She felt Octavia push her arm, bringing her out of her revere.
They were all smiling and dancing like no time at all had passed, Except it had because Lexa and Clarke hadn't looked at each other in awhile and everyone could feel the tension even though the two exes were trying their best to not let it affect everyone else.
Lexa couldn't help but watch as Clarke sauntered over to Octavia, her hands were in her hair as she moved towards her friends, swaying her hips mouthing the words to the song. She tried to forget the memory of how it felt when she would dance up to her like that. The only thing she was grateful for in that moment was that it was Octavia she was dancing with and not someone else.
They all continued to dance and Lexa accidentally backed up in to Clarke as they moved to the music. They turned their heads at the same time, and Lexa mouthed an apology. Clarke offered her a small smile in return but she could feel the burn in her back from where she had bumped into the blonde.
When she turned around again she noticed that Clarke had made her way over to the bar. She knew that by now she had heard about her engagement and she knew she needed to talk to her herself. So she made her way through the crowd towards the bar where Clarke was waiting for her drink. She had no idea what to say, the alcohol was starting to get to her and she knew she didn't have much of a filter left.
"You always were the most beautiful woman in the room." She heard the words come out of her mouth but she couldn't stop them.
"Don't, don't say that, don't do that. You have no right. You left me so you don't get to do that." Clarke willed herself to be strong, to not show any signs of weakness. She clutched her drink in her hand and took a deep breath.
"You cheated on me." There it was and Lexa knew she couldn't stop where this conversation was going now.
Clarke rolled her eyes. "I'm not having that conversation again, if you don't want to believe me then don't."
"You parading around town with him says enough." Lexa spit out as her blood started to boil.
"You're one to talk Lexa, hope you and Costia have a great life. She was over here telling everyone how you just got engaged so maybe you should be telling her she's the most beautiful girl in the room and not the girl whose heart you broke four years ago." With that she left in a blur of blonde hair as Lexa was left standing in shock. She rubbed the back of her neck like she usually did when she was anxious and nervous.
A second later her feet started to move but not in the direction her head was telling her too. Instead she followed her heart out the door and across the street to the pier. Sure enough she could see a petite silhouette standing at the end of the pier. She stood still for a moment, whether it was to gain courage or to take in the fact that Clarke was standing in front of her.
She was the youngest CEO of a fortune 500 company and a pretty damn good lawyer. People didn't make her nervous, tough situations didn't make her nervous but Clarke Griffin definitely made her a nervous wreck. In the beginning she used to over think everything she said to the other woman, so much so that it came out as almost robotic. It didn't matter that they had known each other for practically their whole lives, once she realized just how much she liked the blonde she was done for.
Her feet started moving again even though she kept telling herself she should go back inside, she had just gotten engaged and all. But alas her feet moved in the only direction that seemed to matter in that moment. She chalked it up to old habits being hard to break, and she saw the hurt in Clarke's eyes even though the blonde had been trying her hardest to not let anything slip.
"What are you doing Lexa." She stopped walking once she heard Clarke's voice.
She shouldn't have been surprised Clarke always knew when she was around. "How did you know?"
"I can smell your perfume, it hasn't changed." Her voice was cold and even. She didn't bother to look in Lexa's direction as the other woman stood next to her. "You should be inside because we really don't have anything to talk about."
"Maybe we do, like how my father had a heart attack three years ago." She wasn't sure what made the words come out but they did, she supposed she was still angry even though she thought she had gotten past it. She knew the alcohol didn't help; she never could keep her mouth shut when was drinking. She expected Clarke to have a reaction but she didn't even flinch.
"I know he did, my mom told me."
"And you couldn't even call! You can be pissed at me or hate me but my parents loved you, they do love you."
Still Clarke didn't waver. "I know which is why I visited when he was in the hospital and why I took your mom on a shopping date the last time she was in New York on business."
Lexa swallowed the lump in her throat. "They never told me."
"It wasn't yours to know. I didn't just lose you, I lost them too and I pay for that every day. It was my own fault but it still hurts Lexa, it all still hurts, being here hurts so you don't need to throw things like that at me. Don't you think I wished I could be here for them, for you but you made the choice to end it. You can blame me for leaving you can blame me for being busy for not trying enough but you can not blame me for ending it."
Lexa could see the hurt now, it was so clear. She had been right this was all harder on Clarke than the blonde showed. "I don't want it to be like this Clarke." Her voice quivered causing her to stop and take a deep breath. "We're going to run into each other and I would really like it if it wasn't entirely awkward. I'm not saying we need to stop, say hi and have a pathetic attempt at a conversation, I just mean, I just want it to not always be a fight, I don't want it to be this awkward."
Clarke's gaze was still trained on the water in front of them. "We aren't fighting."
"You're being difficult now."
"I'm saying it like it is." Lexa knew that tone, it was her fiery tone, the one that meant business. Sure enough Clarke finally looked over at the woman standing next to her. "We aren't fighting, we have nothing to fight about. You left me, you left me standing in the rain in my best dress. You made your choice Lexa, now you have to deal with it."
Lexa clenched her jaw, she really didn't want to do this. She didn't want to have this fight again. "It was four years ago Clarke, we've both moved on, for the sake of our sanity can we please just be formal at best. I mean we were friends once," she looked up and saw the expression on Clarke's face. "I'm not saying lets try and be friends, just friendly. It's a small town and we know all the same people. If you're back I don't want it to be insufferable for you to be here, for you to be home."
"This isn't my home, not anymore but fine, whatever you want Lexa." She turned to walk away and then stopped. "Congrats. That friendly enough for you?" Oh yes, Clarke was pissed and hurt.
"No, it's not because that's you pushing my buttons, like only you seem to know how to do!"
Clarke turned her head and looked her ex-girlfriend dead in the eyes. "Nice ring by the way, was that the one you bought for me?" Lexa clenched her jaw as she watched Clarke turn and walk away. Clarke was in a cab by the time Lexa processed what had just happened. She could only watch as Clarke drove away and she was pretty sure she knew exactly where she was going.
She closed her eyes and smoothed out her dress before going back inside. "Do not come near me." Octavia told her as she walked up to the other woman, "because I will throw your ass in jail for something."
Usually Lexa would have made a smart-ass comment about how it would never stick and she would use legal jargon to prove it but she knew this was not an instance where she could joke her way out of it. "I'm sorry but right now I can't do this."
She started to walk away in the direction of her fiancé except Octavia grabbed her arm. "You don't get to act like you care about her so go and be happy with that bitch but don't for a second think you and I are okay either."
"Octavia, it's not worth it. Come on, let's go home. Leave Lexa to handle her business." Lexa snapped her head up at the sound of the voice, there were so many things she wanted to say to the man standing in front of her but she couldn't. Clarke and Octavia were right, she had no right. Instead she turned her head and smiled once she saw Costia looking at her.
"Everything okay?" The woman asked her once she moved beside her, kissing her cheek.
Lexa shook her head. "Not really, I wasn't expecting her to find out like this."
Costia shook her head with a smile. "It's fine, but remember you don't owe any of them anything. They all covered for her, lied to your face and then stood up for her once she got caught."
"You're right, I just don't want it to be like this. This was supposed to be a good night, all of us back together." The shorter brunette kissed her fiancés cheek and wrapped her arm around her waist.
"If you want to leave we can." Costia told her.
She shook her head no. "You stay, your friends just got here, you should celebrate. I'm going to go home and try to sleep off the alcohol."
"I don't mind leaving with you."
Lexa smiled. "I'm sure, have fun. Enjoy your crappy taste in music." She tried to joke as heard the top 40 music that was being played in the main room.
"Love you." Lexa smiled as she kissed her cheek and turned to walk away. This was not how she was expecting the night to go.
TBC…