Chapter 13

I was restless the following day. My body enjoyed tormenting me for dismissing Dick's advances and reminded me intermittently throughout the afternoon how badly it wanted gratification. It was becoming an almost constant, annoying ache at my core. More distracting than my sexual frustration was the nagging voice in the back of my head that kept questioning the Joker's actions and motive and wanted me to figure out what his ultimate end game was. Where and how did I fit into whatever sick plans he had? What did he want from me? And why take this kind of approach? Why go through all the trouble and expense if the ultimate goal was my death? Or was that not actually his goal? I had read about what he had done to Commissioner Gordon and his daughter. Death wasn't his goal that time. He shot the girl through the spine crippling her for life, then he removed her clothing and photographed her and used the images to try to drive her kidnapped father insane. Ultimately his plan failed, although I doubt that was any consolation to the girl who would be in a wheelchair for the rest of her life.

I needed a distraction. I had to drop my weekly observations on the Joker off to Dr. Arkham, so I gathered my notes and prepared my report. I had an unusual theory that I needed to get down onto paper. I wrote for about an hour compiling everything I had learned about the Joker so far. The kicker was my last paragraph. I wrote, 'It is my opinion that what we have here is a credible profile of a sane man who willfully causes anguish and clearly enjoys it. My final summation is that the Joker should be retried as mentally competent, declared sane, sent to state prison and executed.' I suddenly considered deleting it fearing Dr. Arkham would assume that my current situation was clouding my judgement. It was my honest opinion however, and I had come up with my theory well before the events of the past few days so I left it in. I printed out my report and set it aside. I would go to Arkham later to drop it in the director's office.

It was still early afternoon and I still needed something to occupy my mind. I drove to Robinson Park, one of the few truly beautiful bits of nature left in Gotham City, and took a long walk. It was cold but not cold enough to freeze the lake yet. I bought a bag of food pellets from a vendor who was strolling past, sat on one of the benches and fed the fish. It made me smile to see their big eyes and their round mouths greedily gulping down the pellets. I suddenly realized I had that uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach again. I slowly stood and scanned the park, there weren't a lot of people here today, which made it easy to spot the man with the camera snapping a photo of me. He was too far away for me to make out his face, especially since the sun was in my eyes. I started to walk towards him to confront him when he turned tail and dashed in the opposite direction. I raced after him, determined to get some answers outta the creep. I saw him dart into a thick area of tree cover and I pursued but by the time I got there he had disappeared.

I headed back to the car more disturbed than I had been before I left the house. I realized that I hadn't really eaten anything yet and my stomach was starting to rumble. I didn't want to cook, that was for sure, but I also didn't want to eat alone after the incident with the creepy cameraman. I dug out my cell and called Ben.

"Hello?"

"Hi Ben, its Harley. I was just wondering, since you're off today, if you wanted to grab some lunch together." You could almost hear his smile through the phone.

"I think that sounds like a great idea. What are you in the mood for?" I thought about it for a few seconds before I responded.

"I know a great little Greek Diner over on Westwood. Will that do?"

"Sounds perfect, Harley. Want me to swing by and pick you up?" Oh yeah, I forgot that I had a lot to fill him in on.

"No that's okay, I'll meet you there, okay?"

I arrived a few minutes before Ben. I had the hostess seat us in the last booth in the furthest corner of the dining room. I put my back to the wall, at least from here I had a good view of the rest of the room and could see if anyone was watching us. I had already decided on the Gyro platter by the time Ben got to the diner. It was the first time I saw him with his hair down, and I have to admit it made him look kind of exotic, like a Viking or something. I liked it. Other parts of my body liked it too and that annoying throbbing between my legs started up again. He was dressed in blue jeans, a patterned button down that was left open at the neck, brown boots and a Timberland jacket. He had a five 'o'clock shadow and as he sat down I caught a whiff of his cologne, which was pleasant and kind of reminded me of a forest. Actually he reminded me more of a very sexy lumberjack.

"Wow, you look different out of your lab coat!" I said and he flashed me that white, charming smile of his as he took off his coat and set it in the booth beside him.

"So do you. I like it." I was dressed down today in jeans, a burgundy long sleeved thermal shirt that had buttons at the neck, three of which weren't buttoned and I had my hair down.

"Likewise. Thanks for meeting me, I hate eating by myself in a restaurant, it makes me feel weird."

"I know the feeling. It's one of the banes of being perpetually single." My gaze wandered up to Ben's amazing hazel eyes. They looked greener today than usual, as if they were picking up the color from his shirt.

"Yeah tell me about it." The waitress came to the table and took our orders then came back with our drinks as Ben and I exchanged pleasantries. I ordered a diet coke but Ben's chocolate cherry shake looked a lot better. I guess he saw me eyeballing it because he offered me a sip. Oh man, that was good stuff. The next time I came here I had to get one.

"So, you sounded a little distracted when you called me. Is there something going on you wanted to talk about Harley?

I sighed and looked back up at Ben. "Yeah, I guess I really do. It's been one hell of a week." I continued to tell Ben about the flowers, the car and the card from the Joker in the trunk, my trip to Wayne Manor leaving out the part where Dick kissed me, of course. I finished up with the guy taking pictures of me in the park and the feeling I'd been having over the past few weeks of being watched. Ben was obviously shocked.

"This isn't good Harley. I've been around Arkham awhile and I've seen him destroy the lives of too many employees of the asylum. I know this is your dream and all, but maybe it's in your best interest to get as far away from Arkham Asylum as humanly possible."

"You're right, I should and I know that, but I refuse to let a psychopathic clown take away everything I have worked so hard for. If I do that he wins anyway." I placed my chin on my hand sulkily.

"Yes but at least you'll get out with your mind and your life intact to start over somewhere else. Harley, you're a great shrink, you can write your own ticket to any mental hospital in the country!"

"Ben, this is my home, this is where my apartment, career and friends are. I know it's dirty and crowded and chaotic but it's my city, I love it here and I refuse to turn tail and run. What I need to do is get to the bottom of all this. I need answers and there is only one person who has them." Ben looked at me like I had grown a second head.

"Are you out of your mind? You are not going to go talk to the Joker. It's suicide!" I gave him a dangerous look that said 'back off'.

"Look Ben, while I appreciate the concern, I have to figure this out on my own."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know yet."

Our food finally came and we ate quietly, the mood sullied by the ever lingering presence of the Joker in my life. Ben wasn't pleased with me. I know he was worried; heck I was worried but my mind was made up. I needed to talk to Joker and it needed to be today. Ben, ever the gentleman, picked up the check and walked me to my car. He eyed the vehicle like it was going to explode any minute.

"Are you really going to keep it?"

I rolled my eyes when I turned to unlock the door. What choice did I have? Walk through the Bowery in the dark every night and get mugged or raped, or keep a brand new car gifted to me by a mass murderer. Okay so it sounded a little crazy even to my own ears but the car was in my own name so I was keeping it, especially after all the grief I'd taken because of the person who gave it to me.

"Yes Ben, I am. I had the car checked out, it's perfectly safe."

"I don't like this, any of this. You're in danger and you're running towards it instead of away from it."

"I'm doing what I need to do, nothing more and nothing less. Thanks for lunch, Ben. I'm sorry to be such a bother."

He gave me an exasperated look, then sighed as he pulled me into an embrace.

"You're not a bother, Harley. You're probably going to give me gray hair, but you're definitely not a bother. I just want you to stay safe is all."

I buried my nose in his hair and breathed in his woodsy scent.

"Thanks for being such a good friend, Ben"

"Uh oh, am I in the friend zone already? I thought you'd at least give me until after the ball. I promise I clean up pretty good."

I couldn't help but laugh as I pulled out of the embrace.

"Okay, you have until after the ball. You better sweep me off my feet."

"Consider it done." I kissed him on the cheek and headed back to my apartment to get my report for Doc Arkham.

I decided if I was going to sneak into solitary confinement to confront the Joker, I had better wait until after shift change when security was lighter. I was going to have to pull some strings to get away with this without getting caught, but luckily my friendship with officer Hendricks was going to do the trick. I knew he worked nights on Thursdays and that was perfect to my plan. It was also going to help that Aaron Cash was on the day shift. At ten in the evening I headed out to the asylum. I checked in at the gatehouse, parked and headed into the building. I went to Dr. Arkham's office first to both drop off my report but more importantly to make sure the director had left for the day. His office was locked and the lights were off. I slid my report through the mail slot and headed down to the main security hub.

I thanked my lucky stars when I saw that Adam was alone in the monitor room. I only needed a few seconds to freeze the rotation on the security camera that monitored the end of the solitary confinement block that the Joker was being kept in. I made it appear that I was heading for the employee garage and acted surprised to see Adam as I went to pass by.

"Adam, hey how are you. I haven't seen you around in a while. What's new?

He turned to look at me and smiled as I came into the monitor room to talk to him. I saw the camera control I needed right away and stood directly in front of it while talking with Adam.

"Hi Harley. Things are good. What are you doing here so late? I thought you had the week off?"

I slowly and carefully reached behind me and turned the control knob effectively freezing the camera at a point where I could stick to the wall as I passed it and not be seen.

"Oh, I forgot to drop off my weekly report to Dr. Arkham and since I was passing by this way on my way home I figured I better drop it off. I don't need the director breathing down my neck for being late with it."

We chit chatted for a few more minutes then I said goodbye and headed back down the hallway towards the employee garage. I took the stairwell all the way down to the basement level where the solitary confinement cells were. I double checked to make sure there were no guards around who might see me and used my key card to enter the hallway. I flattened myself against the wall and sidestepped past the camera, which I was happy to see was still frozen in place. I slowly walked down to the very last cell, but before I could reach it he spoke.

"Ahh, I smell lavender and strawberries, it must be my dear Doc Harley. I wondered how long it was going to be before you took me up on my invitation. I suppose you're here to ask about the gift I left you?"

He was sitting on the floor of the cell, obscured by darkness. If not for that preternatural alabaster skin, I don't think I would have been able to make him out. He rose and came forward to look at me through the bars of the cell door's small square window. I didn't mince words, I blurted out the question that had been driving me mad for the past two days.

"Why?"

"Well when you broke my nose, which rather impressed me by the way, I had a friend do a little digging to find out what you meant when you screamed about your car. I thought if I made up for the situation, you might be more inclined to take my case. Out of curiosity, how's she handle?" I ignored his question.

"But why? Why me? Why do you want me to take your case? What are you going to do to me?"

He looked offended and placed his hand on his heart as if I wounded him somehow.

"Why nothing at all my dear Harley. I know you may not believe this but Arkham is a lonely place and I am just a man. At first it was your name that made me feel like perhaps I had a kindred spirit in this dismal place. Someone I could talk to. Someone I can trust. Someone I can tell my secrets to. Surely you can see why I'd be attracted to it. But then you broke my nose and it was at that very moment that I knew that you were something special. The kind of gal that comes along only once in a lifetime. So I did what any fella looking to pitch a little woo to a pretty girl would do. For the first time in a very long time, I actually have no ulterior motive."

"I don't believe you."

"You would be stupid if you did, not because it's not true but let's face facts, I don't have the best track record with shrinks. But you're not stupid Harley, you are exceptional. You have so much potential if only you can lighten up enough to let that potential out."

I searched his face for any of the standard tell tales of a lie but found none. Our faces were only inches apart and I was looking into those deep green eyes which were clear and sane for the first time since I had met him. I looked over his facial features, the aquiline nose, sharp jawline and high forehead. I looked at his lips, they were as pale as the rest of him, so it must be makeup he uses to accentuate that gigantic, toothy smile of his. I imagined he must have been a very handsome man prior to his transformation at the hands of the Batman. I realized I was staring and quickly looked away.

"I-I'm sorry I didn't mean to stare."

"It's okay to look you know, I like being looked at."

I felt the blood rush to my face and was grateful for the darkness. I don't understand what it was I was feeling at that moment but it wasn't the revulsion I expected. I didn't know how to respond so I remained silent for a moment. I felt his eyes examining me and I finally found my voice.

"So what is it you want from me?"

"Harley is it so hard to believe that I want nothing more than to be your friend?"

"Yes it is!"

"Fair enough. Here's my suggestion. Arkham is going to offer you my case tomorrow. You accept and I promise to be a good boy, answer your questions and help you further your career by treating the most famous criminal to grace these halls."

"And what do you get out of all of this?"

"I get to spend time with you. To get to know you and earn your trust and friendship."

"I call bullshit."

"Look Harley, if nothing else I get to spend my sessions looking at a young, hot blonde rather than some dour, mousey looking old biddy. No matter what anyone else tells you I am still a man. If you cut me I will bleed. So c'mon Doc whaddya say? Be my shrink?"

I can't believe I was considering accepting his spiel as sincerity but I was. This was the first time he had spoken plainly. No jokes, no puns, no insults, no button pushing and none of that hyena-like laughter. I had never seen him so subdued.

"I'll consider it. I have to go."

Before he could speak again I turned on my heel and quickly walked back down the hallway and out of the solitary wing. I went straight to the garage and left the asylum grounds. As I drove home I tried to work out my own feelings. I don't know what I expected him to say but it certainly wasn't what came out of his mouth. I had theorized in the past that his attention seeking behavior was due, to a certain extent, to loneliness. The lack of human companionship. Was I right? Was he actually on the level this time? I suppose stranger things had happened. I knew I was overly empathetic and I knew I always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt, but could I afford to do that with the Joker? I had to admit, as I gazed at him I had begun to see the man behind the monster. And he was right about one thing, if I treated him and he didn't end up killing me, it would make my career. I decided to sleep on it and make a decision later. He seemed convinced Arkham was going to offer me his case, but I wasn't so sure. I may be worrying for nothing. Oh well, I suppose I was going to have to wait and see.