By the time we make it home, mom and dad were already there. The town is in a frenzy, setting up for the yearly celebration. During this time, every cooks food, helps string lights across the center and around the town, and make instruments from dried Brahmin leather. In the years past, it has been filled with excitement, laughter, and celebration. People come from all over, to join in the festivity. Dr. Barrows and Nurse Graves came last year, and I can only expect to see them, before the sun sets and the party begins.

This year, it feels different for me, though. Tomorrow, Dizzy will leave for The Pitt. It'll be her last night here in Megaton, and no one will see her for three or four months. On our walk back home, she told me that's how long mom and dad gave her, before they would look for her. It's enough time I think, for her to try and find herself. In just a few short weeks, Dizzy has learned a lot more than she should have. It'll take time, for it to sink in. Time, that she needs to spend alone. I don't agree with her going by herself, and I don't want her to go, but I have no say in the matter. All I can really do, is accept it.

After our small fight by the river, I was nicer to her. I realized, being mean only because I have caged emotions, isn't the way to go. Not acting upon them, doesn't mean I have to sacrifice the platonic relationship we're trying to rebuild. Simply having her in my life should be enough. Asking anything more, is selfish. For the most part, though, Dizzy seems to have forgotten all about our argument. Halfway here, she started to sing obnoxiously and fight creatures that weren't there. It made me smile inside, to see my sister laugh and smile, like I remember.

I was right, too. The cruelness I showed her, although short-lived, made her stronger. You can't really see it, but it's there. Almost like a sense. Dizzy will take things differently between us, now, and she's so far proven it. She kept herself distanced. She didn't try to hold my hand, or walk unusually close to me. Hopefully, she's accepting and learning that…it simply cannot be.

I retreat to my room, not long after informing mom and dad of our arrival. Busy as busy can be, mom didn't really notice. She and dad always get stressed. Dad gets stressed because of the people he has to monitor, while mom stresses over what kind of liquor she's going to drink. Her preparation includes counting how many bottles of irradiated water we have, and basing the severity of her hangover the next day on it. Dizzy started to help her, but I'm sure she'll grow tired of that, and hopefully begin to pack a pack of food to bring with her tomorrow. I doubt that, though. She's not always smart.

Flopping down on my bed, I'm happy to have the softness of it beneath my back. People really don't appreciate, how lucky they are to have such a simple thing as a bed. But once you spend time out in the Wastes, sleeping on the hard land, you do. As I begin to take off my boots, I wonder, how mom and dad did it for so long. I'm sure after a while they got use to it, but, it isn't something you really get use to. A knock on my door causes me to look up, as I kick off my boot and stretch my foot out.

"Yeah? What's up?"

I call, and my mother pokes her head in. She's all smiles and excitement. Once the sun goes down, the celebration begins. My room is filled with the scent of cooking food coming in from the outside. It smells delicious.

"Hey, I just thought I'd let you know Gob's expecting Zack back tonight."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. He told Gob he'd be back in time for the celebration."

"That's great! Maybe I'll talk to him, it's been too long."

"Give tonight to Gob. You can see him in the morning."

Zack and I are close. I'm not sure, how that came to be. Maybe it's because, although he's older than me, he simply took a liking to me as a child. He was always around, helping my mom and dad, spending time around the house. Eventually I began to go to him to talk or just bullshit. I've missed him, but haven't thought much of him. Really it's been Gob who was worried. But, not too worried. Often he'd claim he had nothing to be concerned with, since Zack was trained by both of my parents.

Mom leaves, closing my bedroom door behind her. I hear her light footsteps heading down the stairs, and I take this time to lie back and relax on my bed. You don't know how comforting it is, to lie on a soft bed and smell the sweet scent of fresh food being cooked. I think really, it's a comfort only home can bring. I can't enjoy it for very long, though, because soon there's another light knock on my door.

"Yeah?"

This time, it isn't mom or dad, but Dizzy.

"Hey I got news."

Everyone has news these days, huh?

"Oh yeah? If it's about Zack, mom already told me."

Dizzy shakes her head, smiling.

"No, it's about Barrows. See he's coming. He got here yesterday, he's been staying with Gob. I thought you might like to know."

"Why's that?"

Her face falls, as if I've forgotten something important. I raise my eyebrow to her as I put my arms behind my head.

"I thought you wanted to talk to him."

I think, but I can't remember anything quite off the top of my head.

"Was I supposed to?"

"About…about your radiation, Cain."

Oh, I remember now. Yeah. The air grows stale, and stiff, as Dizzy removes herself from the situation at hand. She closes the door like mom did, letting me finally relax and mull over my thoughts. All I can really think about now though, is the possibility of becoming immune to radiation.

Barrows can do it, there's no real doubt about that. He's a genius, and his specialties have to deal with radiation. Thing is, I don't want something to go wrong, and end up really being dad's exact clone. Imagine, how confusing that would be to mom and Dizzy. There's too many mistakes to be made in that scenario. Then again…though, I could live forever. If everything worked out well, I wouldn't have to worry about aging, or about leaving Dizzy before I'm ready. Mom is pushing fifty-something, I think, but looks and acts like she's in her late twenties. Dad is even older, three-hundred something, and still has the same body he did when he was ghoulified. Dizzy, isn't an exception. Barrows said her aging will stop around the same time mom's did, and she'll live a long and healthy life.

As kids, Dizzy and myself both saw Barrows quite often. Because he truly is the best in the land. Church is alright, but he's really old, and his apprentice isn't that great. Plus, Church isn't as smart as Barrows. Barrows has a specialty, and a lab, and research he's proven. Church on the other hand, is just like a Wasteland doctor. You go to him for stimpacks or to help with an addiction or injury, and that's about it. Everything else or worse you either deal with or take care of yourself. You could go to Barrows, but unless you're a friend he'll really make you work for his services.

I close my eyes, trying to relax a bit more, and force the thoughts of everything else away. People laugh outside, talk, cook. They're filled with excitement. I don't want to hear their joy, though. I don't want to hear their instruments, and the noise they call music. Rubbing my face, I groan a bit, trying to just ignore and block it all out. Yet another knock on my door interrupts my relaxation.

"Yeah what is it?"

I call, looking over. My door opens, and my dad steps in. He has a bundle of something in his arms, and looks…worried. I sit up, knowing this is a bit more serious than I initially thought.

"Dad? Hey, dad, what's wrong?"

He closes the door behind him, and sighs. Opening the bundle in his arms, he pulls out a pre-war suit. I've never, in my entire life, ever seen my father wear anything aside from his leather armor. I mean, there were times when it was being cleaned and repaired and he'd have to wear Wasteland clothes, but he wasn't too thrilled about that.

"The hell you have that for?"

My dad clears his throat, still holding up the white suit. It has thin black lines on it. There's even shoes to match, black ones, I can see them at the bottom of the sack.

"Would this look decent on me?"

"…What?"

"I'm just wondering, man to man, how would this look?"

I stare at him like he has six heads. He looks at me, though, waiting for my approval. Did my own father finally lose it?

"…Uh…well I mean…I don't know. I've never seen you in anything other than armor. Why not ask mom? Or Dizzy? They're better at this than me…"

"I can't. Dizzy would tell your mother, and it's a secret. Mention this to no one."

"A secret? Dad, you feeling alright? Really, I'm concerned."

He puts away the suit, gently might I add. Once the sack is closed tightly, he sighs again, running his hands over his face.

"Cain…you have to understand I grew up in a very different time."

"Yeah, and place, mind you."

"Right. Many…many things back when I was human, were different. We went, the people rather, went by different customs. When…when a man loved someone, often times he would marry her."

"There's no use for that out here."

"I know, but…"

My face falls. I see the worry in my father's eyes. And fear. I don't think I've ever seen him scared of anything. Not a Deathclaw or Behemouth could strike fear in him. He was the strongest, most bravest man I knew. Now, he stands before me, worried and nervous.

"Dad, you're going to ask mom to marry you?"

His silence and stiff nod is enough of an answer. A part of me wants to laugh at it, mainly because it is pretty inane and useless out here. Whereas, another part of me, wants to be overjoyed for him. And mom. Because…they've been together for decades, and through a whole lot more. Maybe, they deserve it.

"Wait, when are you doing this?"

I ask him, lighting a cigarette. I hand him one, lord knows he needs it more than me. It's not mom's answer that scares him, since we all know she's going to say yes. I think it's the act of doing it that scares him.

"Tonight."

"At the celebration?"

"Yes."

"In front of everyone?"

"Yes."

"Dad, you hate that kind of attention."

"This isn't about me, Cain. This is about your mother, and we both know she loves to be the center of attention."

"Yeah. Wow, sorry I just…this is hard to digest."

"Do you have arguments against it?"

"What? What, no. Dad, it's…not going to make much of a difference."

"To me, it will."

I inhale on my cigarette, and blow smokes into the air.

"Why?"

He plays with his hands, while his cigarette rests between his teeth. He has yet to light it. I think right now, that's the least of his concerns.

"Because it was what I once knew. It will…help make everything feel a bit more…normal."

"You mean pre-war?"

"Yes. Slowly…this world will no longer be 'pre-war'. If I am alive for that day, I would like, to enjoy it as such."

I smile at my dad, and stand up. Patting his shoulder, I nod my head.

"I think you're going to make a great husband, dad."

He smiles at me, hearing the sarcasm in my voice. The titles don't make a difference, but to him I suppose it does. Hell if it makes them happy, I'm going to support it. At least someone in this family can be.

"Right, well, I need to help the townsfolk prepare. Mind, holding on to this for me? I'll just put it on later."

"Sure, that's fine."

He leaves, and the suit remains on my floor, safe in the sack it was brought in. Wow. Mom and dad are going to get married. I know, it doesn't matter much out here, but still. Whether it matters or not, it's still a step. Showing, at least, they won't ever really leave one another. As if their past didn't prove that enough. I think dad just wants to make mom as happy as he can, and this is kind of the only way he knows how to anymore. Sure he does nice things, he always tries to anyways, in his own strange ways. Like I've seen him a few times letting mom catch him doing push ups, or pull ups, because she likes seeing that kind of stuff. Maybe it's just weird to me, though, because they're my parents.

"Charon! Charon!"

Through the thin walls, I hear my mother in the next room calling for my dad like a crazed woman. She's always called him like that, though. Not too long after, I hear my father's heavy footsteps going towards her. Whatever she's freaking out about, probably isn't important.

Laying back down on my bed, I roll to my side after taking off my jacket. It'll be a bit, until the celebration starts. It's been a while since I've had a decent sleep, too. There's time for a nap, I think. That is, if people can cease with the knocking on my door.

"What now?"

I call, and hear my door open and close. Someone is inside my room. It can only be one of three people.

"Watcha doin'?"

Dizzy.

"Trying to nap. Can you alert the house to leave me alone for a bit?"

"What's in the sack?"

She completely ignores me, and I roll over to look at her.

"I don't know, leave it."

Nudging it with her toe, she makes a face of disgust.

"It's probably your nasty underwear. Or worse."

"Worse?"

Her eyes shift side to side, and she leans down. Putting her hand to the side of her mouth, she whispers. It reminds me of our childhood.

"Man-juice rags."

"That's disgusting, Dizzy. Get out of my room."

"No, you having a sack of that is disgusting."

I roll my eyes at her. This really reminds me of our childhood.

"Whatever, just go I want to nap."

"Can I nap too?"

"What?"

Dizzy yawns, and stretches.

"It's been a bit since either one of us slept in a bed. Yours is big enough, it's bigger than mine."

"Because I'm bigger than you."

"Push over."

"What? No, go to your room."

She doesn't listen, and as she maneuvers out of her shoes, she wiggles on to the bed with me.

"Dizzy, stop it. Go to your room."

"Come on push over."

Reluctantly, I do. I suppose…there isn't any harm in letting her get this close. After all, it is her last night here. After this, it'll be a while before I see her, let alone stand close to her, or share a bed with her.

"Fine."

I act more hesitant than I really am. To be honest, inside, I just want to grab her. Hold her, and never let her go. Never, let anything come to hurt her. Keep her safe, keep her happy. But I think this way, and it makes me feel like I'm viewing her as my personal pet, than a person. Than…a sister.

"I haven't slept in almost two days…"

Dizzy sighs, getting under my thin blanket with me. She rolls onto her side, the one that faces me.

"This reminds me of when we were kids, you know."

She tells me, as if I could forget. When she was little, she'd crawl into bed with me, claiming nightmares. I never minded. I liked having her there. I felt brave, when I could make her forget her dreams, and fall back asleep.

"Yeah…I can remember."

"They called mom the Lone Wanderer, you know."

Dizzy says, closing her eyes. I lie on my back, with my arms behind my head. Faintly, I can see strands of my hair at the tops of my eyes.

"Well, because think about it. Mom…mom was thrown out of her home, lost everyone she knew, lost her dad, didn't have a mom to begin with. Then, everyone started to hate her for the wrong reasons. She was Lone."

"…How did she mentally survive that? I can't imagine…losing my family, you or mom and dad like that."

"…I don't know. I think just the thrill of being somewhere new distracted her long enough. Then, she met dad. And, really, she wasn't alone anymore."

"Yeah. She had dad. He really…helped her."

"You know the story now, why not just ask them?"

She moves closer to me, thinking I don't notice. I notice, but I choose not to mind. For once, I don't want to.

"Because I don't know if mom is okay talking about it."

"She is. She loves it. She…had a lot of fun back then."

"Doesn't seem like fun."

"She had dad with her, and they made fun."

"How do you know that?"

I shrug, and close my eyes.

"Dunno, I just do."

Dizzy rests her hand on my stomach. I feel it, small, delicate. Those hands of hers have yet to experience a fraction of what mom's did. I wonder, if just because Dizzy took out a few Raiders, if she's ready to be on her own.

"I'm kind of scared."

Dizzy tells me, her voice soft with sleep.

"Of what?"

"Being alone. But…I feel like I have to do it. For myself."

Reaching down, I take her hand in mine. She's warm to the touch, and her fingers, smooth and soft. If I hold them too hard, I might break them.

"You won't be alone for long. You'll come home sooner than you know."

"…Still. It's going to be weird not having you there to annoy."

"Pretend we're fighting."

"No, that won't work."

She sleepily grips my fingers.

"Will you be different when I come home?"

"I'll be the same as I am now, Diz. More awake, but the same."

Her head finds its way into the crook of my arm. Instinctively, I wrap my arm around her shoulders, holding her close to me. I love her, more than she can ever imagine. I wish I could tell her this, because if I could, she may not feel so alone.

"I'm going to miss you, Cain."

"Yeah…I'm going to miss you, too."

With every fiber in my being, I want her to stay. Want things to stay just as they are right now, like this. With the noise of preparations outside, with my parents busy doing their own things, Dizzy and I are completely alone, free to do what we please, and talk of whatever we wish, within the confines of my own room. Everything I want to talk to her about, everything I want to tell her, should never escape my mind. I want to tell her we belong together. That against all the odds, it's what needs to happen. But, that's only seeing the world in black and white, and we live in such a gray area.

"Hey, Diz?"

I hope she isn't sleeping, but at the same time, I hope she is. Because then I won't have to say, what I want to say.

"…Yeah?"

She's awake. But, just barely.

"Come back…come back in once piece. I won't leave Megaton, until you do, alright?"

"Promise?"

"Yeah, I promise."

I kiss the top of her head, and don't regret it afterwards. There's nothing wrong, with that. No hidden motives, no hidden agenda. Simply comforting her. Closing my eyes, I can faintly hear my mother singing in the room over. She only sings that song, when my father asks her to. It's about a secret chord, about finding hallelujah, and about the sadder side, of love. My mother's sultry voice, fits in with the somber feelings that fill my room. I hold Dizzy a bit tighter, hoping, we have a brighter future.