Chapter 25

The cops showed up about ten minutes after I hung up with Joan. There was a knock at my door and when I opened it I was greeted by the sight of three detectives and two uniforms standing outside.

"Yes? Can I help you?" The eldest of the trio stepped forward.

"Dr. Quinzel, I'm Commissioner Gordon, these are detectives Harvey Bullock and Renee Montoya. As I'm sure you're aware the Joker has escaped and we need to ask you some questions." If I had any chance of finding Mr. J they really needed to go away.

"Yes, the asylum contacted me. I was told the Joker escaped but I don't know what kind of help I can be to you. There are doctor/patient confidentiality laws in place here." The fat one, Bullock, rolled his eyes at me, turned to Commissioner and said,

"C'mon already commish' she ain't gonna help us. Times a wastin' and da' clown is out dere' somewhere." Gordon turned towards him and gave him a look I couldn't see but he shut up at least.

"Dr. Quinzel, may we come in? We won't take much of your time." My gut just turned to ice. What kind of questions were they going to ask me? I had to be very careful not to reveal anything about me and J. I let the detectives in and they looked around the room suspiciously. Gordon was obviously good cop, Bullock bad cop and Montoya lawful neutral cop, I guess.

"Dr. Quinzel," continued Gordon, "What can you tell me about the Joker stealing and then replacing your vehicle?"

"The Joker was obsessed with my name." Bullock interrupted.

"Your name? What's so special about dat, Doc?" I sighed, how could this tub-a-lard be a detective?

"Mix the letters in my name up a bit and you get Harley Quinn." Bullock just stared at me in incomprehension. "Harlequin, like the 16th century clown character. Why wouldn't he be attracted to it, he is the Clown Prince of Crime after all. When he found out he was the one who sideswiped my car he told me he felt that by replacing it I would be more inclined to take his case. He also told me I was eye candy, so there you have it." Gordon wrote something down on his tiny notebook and flipped the page before he continued.

"I know you can't give me specifics Dr. Quinzel, but how did you feel your overall treatment of the Joker was going so far?"

"I felt we were making a lot more progress than he ever had with his previous therapists. He seemed to, well I can't say trust me per se, but I believe he had at least become comfortable with me. For the first time in Arkham history he was actually actively participating in his treatment." Gordon looked me directly in the eye before asking his next question.

"Dr. Quinzel, did the Joker give you any indication at all that he was planning to break out." I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, sure. He told me his whole plan before he busted out." I scoffed. "Of course he didn't. I would have reported it right away. Incidentally, I don't think he "planned" it." I used air quotes on the planned. Detective Montoya stepped forward a little, studying me.

"What exactly do you mean by that, Doctor?" I put one hand on my hip and jutted it out to the side.

"I mean, I think it's this whole Riddler business. It's well known that the two despise each other." The three Detectives stared at me. "I think he heard about it somehow and I think he broke out to deal with him. I believe the decision was spontaneous. In my experience spontaneity is one of his strongest character traits." The three dicks gave each a look before Gordon addressed me again.

"Thank you Dr. Quinzel for your candor. We're going to post a uniform outside to surveil your building for the time being."

"That's really unnecessary Commissioner, and a waste of the city's resources. First of all, I am the farthest thing from Joker's mind. I've watched him kill two people and when he's on the scent ain't nothing pulling him off until he gets what he's after. Second of all," I reached behind the kitchen counter and pulled out the baseball bat and Taser that Dick gave me and showed it to them. "I'm not helpless you know. My friend Dick taught me how to defend myself when I took on this case. I'm blonde, not stupid."

They exchanged a look I couldn't decipher, then thanked me for my time and left. I leaned against the door and slid down it, my heart still beating like a racehorse.

Nothing else crazy happened that night, but I couldn't stop thinking about my Puddin. I was going out of my mind by Monday. Joker escaped and I had no idea where the hell he was. My stomach was tied up in knots and I was thinking about calling in sick tomorrow. I wanted to get out there and start looking for him, but I didn't have the slightest clue where to start. I spent the entire day glued to the news waiting for any kind of story that may involve J or the Riddler to no avail. He was gone without a trace. He usually did something pretty big pretty quickly but what if weeks passed without seeing white hide nor green hair of him. I was starting to despair again so I looked for a distraction. I opened my mail at the kitchen table and it distracted me alright. Pretty much every bill I opened was marked PAST DUE: FINAL NOTICE. That stupid ball in December had set me back a pretty penny. I was three months behind on my med school loans, two months behind on my credit card and if I didn't get the electric bill paid right away they were going to cut off my service. It was a good thing I made double time this weekend but it still wasn't going to get me caught up. I hated being sad, I hated being scared. I just wanted to be happy but it felt like the world was against me. I laid my head down on the table and cried. Once I was able to get a hold of myself, I decided that the best thing for me was to get out of the house. I went shopping, that I couldn't afford, stopped at a café for a latte, that I couldn't afford then went to the Y, at least that was free. I worked myself to exhaustion but I felt better than I had since Mr. J yelled at me on Sunday. When I got home I flicked the front light on and nothing happened.

"Shit, damn electric company! I thought I had two more days to get that damn payment in!" I said out loud to no one but Bernie who was sitting on my kitchen counter. I walked down the hallway towards the bedroom to take off my gym clothes so I could grab a shower. Even though the power was off, the building supplied the hot water so I could still get cleaned up. I kicked off my sneakers in the dark. I pulled my tank top over my head and threw it in the general direction of my bed. I had my pants halfway down to my ankles when I heard a voice drift through the darkened room.

"Need some help with that cupcake?"

I literally fell over with a squeal, both legs half stuck in my leggings. That familiar wonderful chuckle hit my ears. I stared into the dark with my jaw hanging open. As realization dawned on me I ripped my leggings all the way off and jumped onto the bed where the voice of my Mr. J had come from. I couldn't see him, my eyes hadn't adjusted yet, but I certainly felt him. I smothered him in kisses and pinned him on his back on the bed.

"Okay Pumpkin. Enough already! I get it, you're excited to see me!" I couldn't have been happier. He came for me!

"Mistah J." I said breathily. "I didn't know if I'd ever see you again."

He shifted beneath me and turned on the bedside lamp so I could look at him. He looked amazing dressed in his purple pinstriped suit, orange dress shirt and green waistcoat and tie. I had tears in my eyes I was so happy to see him. He sat up, grabbing me around the waist so that I was straddling his lap, and swung his legs off to the side of my mattress. I put my hands on either side of his face and gazed at him in utter devotion before kissing him deeply. As much as I tried to savor that kiss, wouldn't you know that luck just wasn't on my side. I heard knocking on the window above the fire escape. I slapped my hand over Mr. J's mouth and whispered,

"Get in the closet. Don't move, don't make a noise, don't breathe if you don't have to. I'll take care of this." He looked at me skeptically but didn't argue. I looked down remembering I was naked. I ran into the bathroom, threw my hair up in a clip and wrapped a towel around my body then stomped out to the window in the living room. I slid open the curtains, raised the window and screeched when I saw not just Nightwing but Batman standing on my fire escape!

"Jeeezzus! You are trying to give me a heart attack! I'm not kidding, I will totally give you guys my number but this swooping in in the middle of the night bit is getting ridiculous." Batman scowled while Nightwing smirked behind his shoulder. The Bat stepped forward.

"Dr. Quinzel," If I thought Nightwing's voice was gravelly, Batman's was the entire gravel pit. "As you know your patient has escaped. We need your help to find him." I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Look B-man, my whole world has been turned upside down by this situation. I told the cops everything I know already! All I wanted was a hot shower and some sleep. What insight do you think I have that's going to break your case?" Batman and Nightwing looked at each other as I heard a third, younger voice above me say,

"I told you she wouldn't know anything. Let's move on. We find Riddler, we'll find Joker." I gave the two adult vigilantes a very annoyed look.

"Robin? What is he, like eight, nine?" I looked down at myself, my breasts were swelling over the top of the towel and my cleavage was very obvious. I tried my best to cover up. "Fantastic, the Fetus Wonder has just seen my boobs. Great parenting skills Batsy. Is he even your kid?" Nightwing looked at Batman.

"We should probably go now." Batman turned to me.

"Here Dr. Quinzel, take this. If he comes for you, we'll be able to help you." He handed me a tiny metal bat with a red light in the center. I gave him a puzzled look.

"What is this, a tracker?" His deep voice replied,

"Among other things."

The trio swung back out into the night as I closed and locked the window. I looked at the tiny device in my palm. Among other things, eh? I bet it was also a bug. I opened my front door and called down the hallway sweetly.

"Psss, psss c'mere Mr. Bonkers, here kitty, kitty." My neighbor Selina was a crazy cat lady, she had like thirty some odd cats. I picked Mr. Bonkers up and affixed the tracker to his collar. "Okay puss, puss, go out and play now."

As I closed the door I felt him standing behind me. I spun around holding my towel in place and taking in his gorgeous face. He didn't look pleased.

"Who was that, Harley?" I bit my lip.

"It was B-man, Wingnut and the Boy Blunder. I got rid of em' for ya Puddin." I gave him a large smile that didn't quite reach my eyes. He suddenly looked furious. He stepped towards me and grabbed my hair in his hand as he pushed me up against the wall.

"First of all little girl, how does Batman and his brood know where you live and why were they here?"

"W-well Mr. J, y-ya know I am listed in the phone book, and they were looking for you. They were afraid you might come after me."

"What were you just doing out in the hallway?" I giggled and he narrowed his eyes.

"Batsy gave me a tracker, bug, bat thingy. I put it on my neighbor's cat. Let em' track that and wonder." Mr. J's face broke out in a wide smile and he lifted his head back and laughed. His hand in my hair loosened and he looked into my eyes.

"Well aren't you a clever girl?" I smiled and put my arms around his neck. His hand moved from my hair to the side of my face and he caressed my cheek with his thumb.

"Hey Mr. J, if the power is still on why won't this one turn on?" I flicked the switch up and down a few times. He let go of me.

"It's simple Poo." He reached up and screwed in the lightbulb to the right two times and the light came back on. "See." He turned from me to look around my tiny apartment. "Not much to look at is it?"

"No, I know it's not, but the rent ain't so bad." He looked at me over his shoulder.

"The neighborhood is though." He walked the few steps into the kitchen. "Got anything to eat in here?" I scurried in behind him.

"Sure Mr. J." I opened the fridge and peered inside, glad I had gone to the store today. "Your choices are leftover Chinese, ham and cheese sandwiches or frozen pizza." I turned to look back at him and saw he had my bills in his hands. He had a look on his face that seemed mildly amused but also slightly concerned.

"Are you struggling financially, Harley?" Crap, if I had any idea Mr. J would actually show up here I would have put them away. I was pretty embarrassed.

"Med school ain't cheap Puddin." I could feel my face getting hot again. That seemed to happen so often around him. "Don't worry, I'll be fine. I'm going to talk to Dr. Thompkins over at the free clinic downtown and see if I can pick up some weekend shifts to get caught back up. I just shouldn't have gone to that stupid ball back in December." He smirked at me.

"Well seeing you in that dress was worth it Poo. You were an absolute vision." He set my bills down and leered. "Ya know, when the heat dies down I'd love to show you off down at the Iceberg in that dress." I threw my arms back around his neck.

"Really Pud?" He placed his hands on my waist, leaned in and gave me a quick kiss.

"Of course, Harley-girl! I'll have the whole room jealous. Well more jealous than normal at least. Hahahaha!" I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"Oh Mistah J, the things you say. I'm such a lucky girl."

"So how about that grub Pumpkin?"

I went and put on my bathrobe and got to work heating up the leftover Chinese takeout as Mr. J borrowed my laptop to do some work of his own. When everything was warmed up I brought Mr. J a nice big plate and a cold Zesti and sat down next to him on my couch.

"What'cha working on Pud?" He looked up and closed the laptop when he saw the food. He took a big bite of Sesame chicken and swallowed before answering.

"Tracking down that dunce, Nygma. When I get my hands on him I'm going to wring his scrawny little neck." I was eating a small bowl of white rice with chopsticks.

"Do you think the Bat solved his riddles?" He scoffed.

"Of course he did, they were completely obtuse. I already know what he's planning, but I want to get to him before the Bat does which means finding him before Thursday." I gave him a puzzled look.

"What's happening on Thursday Mistah J?" He glanced at me with a look of slight disbelief.

"Harley, the answer to his first riddle is a diamond, the second is Thursday and if I had to hazard a guess the answer to his next one will have something to do with the docks, a ship or the Greek muses." I was utterly baffled.

"What does it mean though Puddin?"

"What it means is that the Calliope Diamond is coming in on loan to the Gotham Natural History Museum this week arriving on a boat from Greece on Thursday. It's worth $150 million. But that is neither here nor there. What I need to do is isolate the frequency Nygma is using to hack the comm satellites and then I can pinpoint his current location and take him out before the Bat does." His intelligence always astounded me.

"Wow. Is there anything I can do to help Mr. J?" I fluttered my eyelashes at him.

"Actually there is, I need to keep that for now." He motioned to my laptop.

"Of course Puddin. Take whatever you need."

We watched the news as we finished our meals. Mr. J was right, Riddler had another clue tonight, the answer to which was a ship. He was such a smarty!

"Ya want some dessert, Mr. J? I have ice cream."

"Sure Poo, that sounds delightful." I brought him a nice big bowl of chocolate ice cream with whipped cream and sprinkles and set it on the coffee table. He smiled wickedly at me. "Harley, you realize I can't stay here, right? It's simply not safe and I have work to do." I screwed my mouth up into a moue of disappointment.

"I know Puddin."

"So, as much as I hate to be a glutton, I think I want both of my desserts right now."

He grabbed the ties on my bathrobe and pulled, then opened the front of my robe revealing my naked body beneath it. He leaned me back so that my head was propped up against the arm of the couch. He grabbed the bowl of ice cream, spooned up a large scoop and dolloped it on my right nipple then leaned forward and took the whole mess into his mouth. I gasped as his tongue rolled over the hardened nub. It was a strange but wonderful sensation with the cold of the ice cream and the warmth of his mouth. When he finished that mouthful he repeated the process over other parts of my body. I moaned and writhed beneath his ministrations. When the ice cream was gone, he removed his clothing and we made love right there on my couch. Being in my own apartment, knowing we didn't have to worry about being found out removed my inhibitions and I was able to show Mr. J the benefits of sleeping with a gymnast. By the time we finished we were both sticky, sweaty and panting.

"Jesus Harl, I didn't know it was even vaguely possible to get a human body into that position. You are something else kiddo." I giggled as I caught my breath.

"Well it's good to know all those years of training are good for something Puddin." He chuckled.

"Oh, Pumpkin, they are very good indeed. So you really almost went to the Olympics?"

"Yeah Mr. J, if I hadn't of gotten my scholarship I would have, but I wanted a career that wasn't going to be over by the time I was twenty-five." He looked over at the clock on the cable box, it was a little past midnight.

"I have to run Harley, I have a radio tower to climb and a satellite signal to track. I won't be able to come back right away. When I get this whole Riddler nonsense taken care of, I'll send word." My heart sank, I would miss him terribly, but I didn't want to seem too clingy.

"Okay Mr. J, just please be careful. I'll be worried the whole time until I hear from you." He leaned off the couch and rummaged around in his suit pocket and produced a small prepaid flip phone.

"This is how I'll reach you. Do not make any out calls on it and don't let anyone see it." He got up off the couch and walked to the bathroom to clean off the remnants of chocolate and sprinkles then donned his suit. I waked him to the door and he pulled me against him and kissed me deeply.

"Bye Puddin, be careful and I…..I love you." He looked completely taken aback at first, then his expression softened and he leaned down and gently kissed me again.

"I'll be in touch." Then he was gone and I was once again alone with my thoughts.