A.N: Wellllll, don't know how this story is going down... have to admit the first ever review was rather... demoralizing. My first fic was going to be over before it started.

However, I realized I can only write as me and be me...Fiction is just that, fiction. So I decided to keep going cos I got notifications that ppl were following my story (new to this ppl so I can only assume it's cos they wanna read it yeh?) But tah to Guest? for saying to keep updating :) and tah for those following ?

NB:

Stacks on = awesome game where everyone jumps in a human pile (if you're at the bottom, not so awesome)

ECT= Electro Shock Therapy

Screw= Keeper/Minder/Warder (Keeper in pysch ward)

CHAPTER 4.

April 2011:

Emily:

Fuckitty Fuck Frig!

I scramble even harder to get out from underneath Cook but resistance seems futile as my struggling is soon taken as an invitation for a game of `stacks on' by my friends. Fred pile drives himself into Cook's side with a deep laugh, Pandora lets out a whoop and jumps onto Fred's back. I briefly see a swirl of leopard print and a flash of braces as Katie and JJ join in. To give Cook his due, he's regained a position that completely protects me from bearing the weight of 5 people atop of me so despite myself, I can't help but laugh along with them.

The only members of our `crew' that remain removed from our wriggling mass are Tommo who is busy spinning his decks in another room and Effy who just looks on with her `too cool for school' smirk. I crane my neck out from the bottom of the pack and twist it to the last known blonde location but... nothing. Either she's fucked off after seeing our little display of friendship or it was just in my imagination that she was even there to begin with. Most likely it's the latter.

I've seen her constantly for the last year. At school, parties, the pub, my bathroom... you name it, I've seen her there. But then it always turns out to be someone else. Sadly, once it was even a golden labrador. Yep, Naomi.

After the assault last year, it was big news for about a month. The rumours spread like wildfire. Ranging from students claiming she had stabbed Andy with a hunting knife, shot his balls off and even one girl who swore to me that she had personally witnessed Naomi using a bandsaw to permanently immasculate him in the woodwork room. Tossers.

But as expected the rumours died down, her name is rarely used nowadays and people largely forgot about her. Not me though, I never forgot. So while I can't explain why I seem to see her all the time, there's something about Ms Naomi Campbell that has kept a hold on me. Hmmmmmm...

I came out about 6 months ago and am pretty chuffed with the response I received from my friends.

Pandora took it well and then tried to set me up with ever girl she knew, regardless if they were gay or not. Since I've explained the entire concept of being a lesbian, she's calmed down with her match making attempts. Slightly...

Effy already knew of course and Tommo was lovely. He had just smiled at me and said `It is fine. I am black, you are lesbian. This is the way we are made, yes.' Fred was stoned at the time and I think he has been since so it's really not an issue for him at all.

JJ was slightly upset but I found out later it was only because he had a bit of a crush on me but he has never taken me to task for it and out friendship has remained as solid as ever. Katie was a bit of a challenge which was expected. She thought it was her fault because she had been so insistent on our double date with Andy and Danny. It took some convincing but she eventually realised that it wasn't a result of an attempted rape, rather it was just who I was and always had been. She told me one night that it should have been obvious to her given the amount of female posters I had hanging on my side of our room.

The biggest surprise was Cook. James Cook, that hard core, womanizing, bastard with an `I don't give a fuck' attitude. I ended up telling him last, only because it's fucking hard to get a quiet second with him, let alone enough time to tell him my deepest, darkest secret. We were sat in the gutter outside his Uncles pub, sharing a spliff while watching the traffic move slowly on a Friday night.

He had pulled me into the softest, most tender hug I had ever felt and held me there for a full minute. When we pulled apart he had looked me straight in the eyes, not even attempting to hide the tears that had pooled there. He had told me that I was the bravest person he had ever known and that no matter what, whatever the cost he would protect me and be there for me. It was a beautiful moment with no jealousy, no sexual inuendo and no doubt in my mind that he meant every word of it. I was lost for words so leaned up and kissed him softly on his cheek.

Of course the moment was ruined seconds later when Katie came stumbling out of the pub, gave Cook enough of a drunken kick in the arse to send him sprawling into the street while laughingly slurring how he didn't stand a chance with her `lezzer sister'. Cook had howled with laughter and love, brushed himself off while getting back to his feet and grabbed both our hands.

`Twins eh? Yeah, the Cookie Monster has enough for a double up!'

Katie wrenched her hand away, poked her tongue out at him and strutted ahead of us back into the pub.

I tugged on his hand to pull him to a halt. `You're a fantastic man Cook.' I stated quietly with slight awe.

`Don't you fookin' tell nobody Red. My reputation will be shattered man.' He threw his arm around my shoulder, gave me a wink and lead us into the swinging pub door.

April 2011:

Naomi:

The spilt second my brain took to send signals to my legs perhaps saved me from a 20 year stint at her Majesty's finest. After 11 months of being councilled, medicated, taunted, assaulted and the occasional session of ECT, I don't know how I would have lasted 20 years but for some stupid fucking reason...I would have done it. I would have done it to save her. Again.

I just saw red. Well, actually I saw a couple of shades of red. The first was Emily's hair when I first walked in and the second was the rest of her body seemingly being attacked (seriously, what IS it with this girl and trouble?!) by some arsehole in the middle of a fucking party.

I've been out of Pleasantview Clinic for just under a month now and for anyone thinking of going there for a vacation, I can tell you it's neither `Pleasant' nor is there a `view'. Well perhaps I should clarify, it IS pleasant if you're a screw and there IS a view of a lake if you can focus through the barbed wire windows and your drug addled brain.

Otherwise... nope.

So there I was. At this stupid party on a Friday night, 3 weeks after my release date. There was only one person who had visited me at Pleasantview on a regular basis (apart from my brief and the cops) and we had become `friends'. I don't really understand how it happened or even why, but we did and I relish that friendship cos it's the only thing I have now. So I was told in no uncertain terms that I had to get my `arse there and at least pretend to have a good time!'

So I did... and that's what I walked in on...

April 2011:

Emily:

Finally, our (their) game of `Stacks On' finished and I was able to peel myself off the floor.

I stood up straight, brushed my clothes down and addressed my friends. `Well that was...enjoyable.' I was met with a chorus of laughs and a random tap in the ribs by Pandora.

`We were almost getting lezzo there Em!' she chuckles.

(Mental note: re-educate Panda about lesbianism) I just smile from one side of me face and nod at her.

Involuntarily, I turn back to the corner I had `seen' Naomi in, no still not there.

Cook approaches me with a smile. `Alright Em?'

`All fine Cookie.' I smile at him and give him a hug, `Seeing things is all.'

His face forms a frown. `Did we hurt you? Shit, I'm so sorry!' he starts to look for bruising on my head.

`Cook! I'm fine!' I give him a reassuring smile.

Effy appears next to me left shoulder. `Cook, I believe you promised me something?'

A slight frown appears on his face but I can see Effy from the corner of my eye and her eyebrows are up and giving him the `piss off for a bit' look.

'I'll see you in the living room yeah?' he says to both of us with a determined glance.

We both nod compliantly and watch him warily move into the next room.

`Spliff.' Effy states, grabs my hand and takes me through the house and out the front door.

We sit down on the stoop in silence and Effy lights her joint.

I can hear Katie inside, yelling at Tommo for some music request and as much as I love my sister, her choice of music is well... shit. I'm deperately hoping Tommo can occupy her with something to keep her distracted that isn't a Boy Band of ANY type.

I can't help but smile as I see Effy passing the joint to me. I take a deep drag and hold it down.

`So you're finally going to sleep with Cook then yeah?' I ask as I finally exhale the smoke.

'Is that a problem?' Effy takes the spliff back.

I hesitate before replying. `No. Just, he's not the arsehole you might think he is but he'll probably BE the arsehole you expect him to be.'

Effy stays silent but I can hear her dragging on the joint.

`Do you think everyone shows who they are Emily?' she asks after awhile.

I frown because I know Effy too well not to try to find her hidden meaning. I snatch the spliff back off her. `If you're talking about me Eff, you can get fucked. I'm trying to show who I am, I came out to almost everyone, I'm being honest with myself AND everyone, well except for...' I trail off, `Eff, I CAN'T tell my parents right now, they wouldn't unders...'

Effy interupts me. `Yeah, I wasn't talking about you Emily. But well done with the rehearsal parental come out speech.' She's smirking and using her fingers as inadverted commas.

'I KNOW people don't show who they are!' I yell in frustration,`Between me, you, Cook and even Katie, NOBODY shows who they are. What's your fucking point!?'

Effy smirks, takes the spliff back, sucks back the ramainder and grinds it out under her shoe, `Oh...no point Emily. Just seeing how open you are is all.'

I look at Effy in utter confusion and a slight tinge of anger. `For once Effy. Just for ONCE. Will you stop these bullshit puzzle games and just be straight forward? You have something to say, fucking say it yeah?!'

I grab her cigarette packet and angrily pull out another of her joints.

'Fair enough.' I hear her say sounding very satisfied, `Emily, you remember Naomi, right?'

I look up from my attempt to light the spliff.

'Ergh, hi nnnn...splif...' gulp

FUCKK!