Chapter 32

My original plan had been to show up as Dr. Quinzel, get through the main gates then change into my costume, but with Ivy coming with me on this mission we had to adjust things a little. Based on the blueprints of Arkham there was an access point just outside the perimeter fence that was mostly obscured by rocks and brush. The problem was that it was directly in front of guard tower three which was currently occupied by Officer Adam Hendricks. Having Red with me made this part of the plan go a lot more smoothly. Had I been alone I would have had to blow the tower, which would have alerted security that something was amiss immediately. Plus, I liked Adam, he was one of the good ones and I didn't want to see him injured or killed. Red simply bound and gagged Hendricks with some tree roots then we were easily able to remove the outer grate and quietly slip into the ventilation system. We crawled through the shaft for approximately one hundred feet or so before we found the first opening so we could exit. We were in the east wing of the asylum, which was convenient since security in this wing was light. I pulled up the grate and peeked in each direction before swinging down into the hallway followed closely by Ivy. I leaned in and whispered to Pam.

"Red, keep close and stay behind me. There are two cameras between here and the main security hub I need to take out."

I pulled out the slingshot and a bag of steel balls. As I had done before, I shot out the first camera on the first try. We crept down the next few hallways until we came to the second camera. I missed on the first attempt but nailed it on the second. So far, so good. We hadn't run into any security yet but we were about to enter Arkham's main building which was where the security hub was located. I swung the duffel bag off my shoulder and pulled out a small pink bowling ball. I'd had the thing since my league days back in high school and I finally had a use for it. Red gave me a veiled look.

"What are you doing with that?" she whispered.

"You'll see." I winked, stepped out into the hallway and yelled, "Hey boys!"

The guards in the booth turned and stared at me confusedly for a few moments. I stood there in my new costume and waited until the door to the hub started to open. I lobbed the ball down the hallway, it arced slightly to the right then headed directly for the guard who was standing in the doorway. The ball knocked him off his feet entirely and I heard it hit the wall inside of the room. A blue gas was released from the finger holes in the ball and quickly filled the room as the guards started to drop to the ground one by one. I jumped in the air and pulled my fist and elbow down in a gesture of triumph.

"Steeerike!" I heard Red chuckling behind me.

"Oh, so that's the delivery system you used for the knock out serum I gave you. Not what I would have done, but clever." I gave her a wry look.

"And hilarious! Did you see the look on their faces?" I was laughing and holding my belly. "Okay now I get why Mr. J does this! That was a whole lotta fun!"

I ran into the security room once the gas cleared out and shut down the security cameras throughout the rest of the asylum. We were going to need the rest of the guards distracted if we were going to make it down to the special containment units where there was another ventilation shaft that led to the area underneath the asylum. So I pulled the master door release for the cells in Intensive Treatment and set all the inmates free. I knew it meant the Bat brood would come running but by the time they got here we would be well below the asylum proper.

We ran towards the elevators that would bring us down to the SCU's but I stopped and ducked into the infirmary briefly to grab a few things I thought we were going to need. Ivy and I made it to the sub-basement level. I pulled out the map and double checked the location of the correct grate. This one was solid steel and well imbedded into the wall. My crowbar was not going to be enough to get this thing off. I looked expectantly at Ivy.

"Little help here girlfriend?" She approached the grate as she pulled a handful of seeds out of her pocket.

"No problem Harley. Stand back and just leave it to my babies." She tossed the seeds into the grate and concentrated her powers towards it. Vines and plants began to grow between the steel bars. You could hear the metal groan as the plants began to bend and twist the grate. After several minutes there was a loud metallic pop as the grating fell inward and landed with a clunk at our feet. I pulled out a flashlight and shined it down the shaft. It appeared to go straight down but it wasn't an obscene distance, I could see a faint light at the bottom.

"Well here goes nothing. Follow me Red!" I swung inside the tube and slid down the shaft. "Weeeeeeeeee!" I ended up at another grating which was easily knocked out with a swift two footed kick. "C'mon Red, the coast is clear!"

I saw her look down at me then swung one leg over the side of the upper opening. Grabbing ahold of one of the vines, she used it to carefully climb down.

"Well just take the fun outta life, Red." When she reached the bottom we both looked around carefully surveying our surroundings. We had no map of this area and only a vague approximation of where Strange was holding B-man and Puddin. We were in a series of small caverns that were lit with the occasional carbide light. It was damp and chilly with a steady breeze that blew through the caves. We made our way along the path that seemed to have been most recently used. There were footprints in the mud which was convenient because I could see the potential to become hopelessly lost down here. We walked for the better part of a mile before we hit a fork in the path. The breeze was coming from the right and the footprints led to the left. Red looked at me ruefully.

"I think this is where we part. Are you sure you can do this on your own, Harley?" I wasn't sure but I couldn't tell her that. I gave her a brilliant smile.

"Of course Red. You get to working on our exit, I'll spring Mistah J and Bat-brain and meet up with you.

I felt uneasy as I crept through the catacombs. I knew I was heading in the right direction, the lights were more consistent and there was evidence of man-made structures as I got further into the narrow passageway. I skulked through as quietly and carefully as I could. I had reached an area of the path that was covered in plywood to form a sort of sidewalk or ramp. I was cognizant of the fact that if someone had gone through this much trouble to build all this, there was a possibility that there were security measures in place. I glanced around to see if I could locate any cameras to no avail. As the walls of the passage narrowed, the ceiling of the cave grew taller. I stopped and listened, realizing that I could faintly make out voices ahead in the distance. I surveyed the area I was in. I saw a ledge above my head that traversed the rest of the passage. There were no handholds to get up to it, so I pulled open the duffel bag and withdrew a grappling hook attached to a length of rope. I aimed and threw hoping I wouldn't make too much noise and praying the hook caught. It didn't and I had to make a second attempt. This time it caught. I pulled hard once to make sure it was secure and climbed the relatively short distance to the ledge. Once there I realized the ledge led to another tiny passage. It was barely big enough for me to crawl through but I saw bright lights in the distance and I could clearly make out voices now.

I began the crawl through the small space and began feeling mildly claustrophobic. It took several more minutes but eventually I made it to another ledge that allowed me to look into a chamber below. After the darkness I had just crawled through, the lights practically blinded me. I was looking down on my Mr. J and the Bat both of which were gagged, straight jacketed and strapped down to examination tables. Strange was there with his back towards me. I glanced around the rest of the chamber and saw a table full of surgical instruments, an array of medical equipment and a generator was humming in one corner of the room. There was a female store mannequin that was virtually naked except that it was draped with a cowl very similar to the one the Bat was wearing. Strange was seemingly addressing the mannequin. I strained to hear what he was saying.

"You see my love, I am dedicated to the understanding of the psychological workings of the human mind no matter what the cost. Take our vigilante here. His obsession with criminals fascinates me almost as much as the criminals themselves."

Oh, boy this guy had lost his nut, for sure. Strange walked to stand between J and Batsy as he continued.

"Look at these two. Both are truly extraordinary specimens. One the antithesis of the other, both locked in a battle that can only eventually lead to one or both their deaths. Look into their eyes my dear, and you will see that they both know it, yet they continue this madness night after night. I long to understand them as much as I look forward to breaking them."

I glanced around frantically trying to devise a plan. I opened the duffel as quietly as possible and pulled out my baseball bat. I had affixed a strap that snapped off and onto it so I could strap it to my back, which I did then. I pulled out a hypodermic needle, two vials of sedatives, a knife and the pods Red had given me and put them into a fanny pack which I strapped around my waist. I held the Taser Dick had given me in my hand as I waited for an opening. Strange was hovering over B-man.

"I assume you thought you were untouchable Batman. Well as you can see, no one is untouchable. What makes a man dress up as a bat and fight crime, I wonder? You are clearly psychologically traumatized and I am going to discover exactly what trauma is hiding inside that magnificent brain of yours. I have a question for you Batman. This city is drowning under a tide of filth. Have you ever realized that this is all your fault? Your presence creates these animals. Like germs they spread. Look at Joker, a monument to your failure. Would he even exist if not for you? It must be depressing. All your sacrifices and yet, you are the one to blame. How does that make you feel?"

B-man was grumbling beneath the gag. I used Strange's distraction to my advantage and pounced on him slamming the Taser into his neck which dropped him. Mr. J stared at me wide-eyed. I unbuckled the gag and pulled it out of his mouth.

"Harley? Is that you?"

"Say hello to your new and improved Harley Quinn, Puddin!"

He cackled maniacally. I began to unstrap my Joker when I heard the Bat trying to shout around the gag. He was straining at his bonds and I glanced at him to see he was looking at a spot directly behind me. I pulled my baseball bat off of my back and spun around to see Diane Green advancing on me with a chair raised over her head. I swung the bat at her head and it connected with a resounding crunch as the chair clattered to the ground. I saw red and kinda lost control of myself for a minute. I pounded her head over and over again until her brain was oozing out of her skull. I was wiping the blood off my face when I heard Joker yell.

"Harley, behind you!" I did a front handspring to get some distance between me and whoever it was behind me then somersaulted to face my attacker. Strange was holding a scalpel and was advancing on me. When I turned to face him he stopped and smiled at me.

"Dr. Quinzel? Well, well it seems you've thrown your lot in with the Joker. How delightful. I can always use another interesting test subject."

"Yeah well, you're not going to get a chance to test anything on me or Mistah J creepo!" I opened the pack at my waist and pulled out the knife and palmed one of the pods from Ivy.

"If you wish to die here Harleen that can easily be arranged."

"Yeah, well I can say the same to you bozo."

We circled one another until Strange had to stop briefly to side-step over Diane's body. I took the opening and threw the pod in my hand at Strange's feet. Nothing happened and I suddenly started to panic.

"And what exactly was that supposed to accomplish Dr. Quinzel?"

I glanced at my baseball bat which was lying on the floor behind Hugo. I gave up my reach in order to use that damn pod. If I ever got a chance to see Red again I was gonna wring her neck!

"Eh, just trying to keep you on your toes jerkwad."

He lunged at me and sliced through my new suit leaving a cut on my upper arm that started dripping blood almost immediately. I grabbed his arm as he withdrew and pendulumed my body through his legs taking a pot shot at his nuts as I slid across the floor. He fell to his knees and I was able to get my baseball bat back into my hands. I pulled back ready to swing at his head when the pod I threw at Strange finally exploded into a perfusion of vines that wrapped around him, rendering him helpless. I leaned down and plucked the scalpel from his hand, then patted him down to make sure he didn't have any other weapons hidden. I bent down to look at him.

"Uh oh! Did little old Harley outsmart the big bad Dr. Strange. Awww." He glared at me.

"Don't look so smug Quinzel. I will get out of this and when I do I'm coming for you. You and the clown!"

I giggled as I chewed on my fingernail. "Oh I don't think so Hugo, did you forget about Batsy over here? He's gonna cart your sorry butt upstairs and introduce you to your own padded cell Strango. Ha ha ha! But in the meantime since I don't feel like hearing your mouth…" I pulled back on the bat and swung it at his head knocking him unconscious.

Joker was laughing hysterically. I turned and started to unstrap him.

"Well, well, well Harley. You never cease to amaze me." I smiled at him coyly. "And babe, the outfit, hubba hubba! Where did you manage to get such a thing?" I had loosened the final strap and he sat up so I could unbuckle the straight jacket.

"From your tailor Puddin. Red introduced me. You really like it?"

"I do, I do. Although I don't think it'll stay on long once I get you home Poo." I giggled again and glanced over at Batsy. Once I got Mr. J unbuckled I walked over the Bat and took off his gag.

"Doctor Quinzel? What are you doing? Did Joker coerce you?"

"Ha! That's funny B-man. Nope, he didn't have to. He didn't even know about it to tell you the truth. This is who I really am Batsy, I love Mr. J and I want to be with him."

J slung his arm around my shoulders.

"The kid's right Guano-man. She did this all on her own, she loves me. Can't say I blame her, I love me too!" He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. "So Pumpkin, what are we going to do with him?"

I pulled out the syringe and one of the sedative bottles and prepared the needle making sure to double the dosage.

"Well I suppose we have to let him go, but since we can't have him following us…"

I walked over and stabbed the needle into Bat-brain's neck and depressed the plunger. Before he lost consciousness he was able to mumble a few last words.

"I'm coming…for…you. Both…of yo-" he dropped off before he could finish his sentence.

I quickly unstrapped Batman and unbuckled the jacket before turning to Strange.

"And now to take care of you, you weirdo." I filled the needle with the other bottle of sedative and injected him as well. "Now when Batsy wakes up he can drag Strange to the cops and we'll be long gone Puddin!"

"So I guess you're running off to join my little circus, eh Harley-girl?"

"Yeah Mistah J, I guess I am." He chuckled.

"Ya know Harl, I thought you'd be a walk down the midway but clearly you're more a ride on the teacups. You and me kid, we are two of a kind. I can see it now. We'll be a team. We'll make a big splash on Broadway. Hahahahaha!" I looked longingly into his eyes.

"Ya really mean it Puddin?"

"Sure kiddo, at least until you annoy me to the point I gotta kill ya! Ha!"

"C'mon Puddin, we gotta meet up with Red and get the heck outta here before the Bat Brats get here. I kinda had to let all the inmates go in order to get down here to spring ya."

"Lead the way cupcake!"

I doubled back to the fork in the path and dragged Mr. J down the tunnel. I could already smell fresh air and there was noticeably more natural light down here than there had been before. As we got to the end of the passageway we saw a large hole in the stone wall that was surrounded by huge vines. We came to a halt at the edge of the hole to see Red just below in a small motorboat.

"C'mon guys, we gotta get out of here! The bat-signal's been lit for over an hour and the place is crawling with cops!"

Joker and I hopped in the boat and within seconds we were speeding across the river towards the city. J wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my neck before whispering in my ear.

"Thanks for busting me outta that mess kiddo. I'll make it worth your while when we get back to my hideout." I glanced over my shoulder to look at him.

"You sure you're ok with this Puddin? I know I didn't really prepare you for all…..this." I motioned to my costume.

"Are you kidding me? Seeing you bash in that doctor's head while dressed like a kinky clowngirl, now that was sexy!" He pressed his hips against my tush so I could feel his erection through my suit. "I'm giving the henches the night off when we get home!"

"Home Puddin? Are you inviting me to move in?"

"Well it's not like you can go back to your apartment and your job at Arkham, so yeah. I guess I am!" I squealed and spun around to throw my arms around his neck and gaze into his eyes.

"I love ya Mistah J."

"I know kiddo. I'm, um, quite fond of you too."

For some girls that response wouldn't have been enough but for me it meant the world. We both leaned in and our lips crushed against one another as we cruised into the Gotham night.