Chapter 34
When I came to for the second time that night I was back in the makeshift bedroom alone, lying naked on the squeaky mattress, partially covered in a dingy sheet. There was no clock in the room but it must have been pretty early in the morning at that point, it was well after midnight when I had woken up the first time. I turned onto my stomach to reach for the lamp when I realized my hip was on fire. I yelped and sat up, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. I flicked on the lamp and looked down. The wound J had carved into my flesh was covered with a bloody gauze pad and medical tape. I peeled back the tape to see what it looked like. It was slathered in antibiotic ointment but the skin was an angry reddish color and swollen, but the lines were well done. It would scar, of that I was certain but unless he intended on going over it more than once after it had healed it would be faint. It was nothing like the scars on my side at least. Those I had opened and re-opened hundreds of times over the course of six or seven years.
I started thinking about what had happened towards the end of our lovemaking. Everything had been going swimmingly until that shadow had crept over his face. I wish I understood what I had done to make him angry. I had theories but I needed to speak with him to figure it out. I stood up intending to find J and maybe seek out some coffee when it occurred to me that I had absolutely nothing to wear. I walked over to a wooden wardrobe not far from the bed and opened the doors. It contained a row of purple suits, all just slightly different from one another, brightly colored dress shirts and his trench coat. There were two drawers built into the bottom section of the wardrobe which I opened. The first held socks and ties. The second actually yielded something I might be able to wear until Rocco came back with some proper clothing for me. I pulled out a plain white t-shirt and pulled it over my head. Joker was so tall the bottom hem fell to just above my knee but he was also so skinny that it hugged my curves. I looked in the mirror in the bathroom, it would do for now. I really wished J hadn't destroyed my only pair of panties but since there was nothing to be done about it I guess I was going commando for the time being. I pulled the cowl off of my head and scrubbed the makeup off of my face. My hair was a matted mess. I located a comb in the medicine cabinet and worked the tangles out before putting it back up in high pigtails. Looking clean and presentable again I ventured out to look for Mistah J.
I peeked in the office where we had recently made love but it was dark and the room looked empty. I moved along the hallway until I came upon a kitchenette. I spied a coffee maker on the counter and searched the cabinets for some grounds and a coffee filter. The first cabinet I opened held nothing but a gun and a large cockroach that hissed at me before scurrying through a crack in the wall. I squealed and slammed the door closed. Cabinet number two held a few chipped coffee mugs, paper plates, plastic cutlery, sugar and coffee filters. Yay! I finished searching the cabinets but still hadn't turned up any coffee. I opened the fridge and was happy to see half and half that was within the expiration date but still no coffee. I was about to give up when I opened the freezer and discovered a huge can of a cheap generic brand. It would do for now. I put on a full pot and flipped the switch then busied myself with straitening up a bit while I waited for it to brew. I found some dish soap and washed out two of the grimy mugs. When the coffee was ready I fixed two steaming mugs and carried them with me down to the end of the hall where I could see the flickering of a television screen.
I paused in the doorway and cleared my throat to get J's attention. He didn't acknowledge me at all. I padded across the cold floor until I was standing beside a dilapidated couch in a hideous flowered pattern. Joker had his legs propped up on the small coffee table in front of the TV and his head was supported by his fist as he quickly surfed through channels. He was wearing a loose pair of pajama bottoms and nothing else. I gently set the mug of coffee down next to his legs for him and slowly sat on the other arm of the couch quietly sipping my coffee and hoping he'd address me. Minutes passed in silence and he had yet to glance in my direction. I couldn't take it anymore.
"Um, Puddin, are ya mad at me for something?" He exhaled heavily and rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. He didn't respond. "If I did, I'm sorry. Just tell me what I did wrong so I know not to do it again."
He growled in the back of his throat as he had a habit of doing when he was excited, angry or frustrated. He took his feet off of the coffee table and sat forward with his elbows resting on his knees and his hands grasping the hair on either side of his head as he stared at the floor.
"Puddin?"
"I'm not mad Harley. Okay?" he replied flatly, still refusing to meet my gaze.
"Then what's wrong? Things were going so well and then…" I trailed off and stared at the dregs of coffee in the bottom of my cup. I felt his eyes on me and I slowly turned my head to meet his gaze. He was glowering at me, but he quickly turned his head back towards the TV when I met his eyes. He swiftly stood and began to pace. A sure sign he was aggravated by something. "J, please talk to me."
He stopped his pacing and glared at me sourly. "You remember what Pam said earlier on the boat?" I gave him a puzzled look.
"She said a lotta things. Which one is eating at you Puddin?" He huffed out an annoyed breath.
"The part about me not having real emotions and this thing with us blowing up in my face." He distractedly ran a hand through his messy green waves. "She was right you know. To an extent at least."
"I don't understand what you're talk-"
"Just, shut up for a minute Harley!" he spat, "Pam was right, before you came along I didn't have very many feelings. My urges were purely work related. The anticipation of a new scheme, the thrill of battle, the agony of defeat, the joy at carving a smile into someone's face. Life was simple then. But then you showed up at Arkham and everything changed. Now there are all these little….emotions. Little considerations and sentiments that are simply maddening to me!" he began pacing again and gesturing with his hands as he was prone to do when agitated.
"Feelings are weaknesses and weakness in my world can and will get you killed! I've tried to repress it, to put it all out of my mind, which was easy when I was here alone but now you're here and it's like a nagging splinter just below the skin of a finger. A constant annoyance you can't just shrug off. It makes me want to take a needle and dig it out!" I opened my mouth to respond but he cut me off with a piercing look.
"If you haven't noticed, Harley, I don't like change but everything has, and it's spiraling out of control. I don't like having these…feelings." He uttered the word as if it were completely repugnant to him. "I don't like the troublesome insistence of the pedestrian urges I feel around you. I'm the Joker God damn it! I'm not ruled by my baser instincts!" He skulked towards me. "It makes me want to do things to make you pay for the way you make me feel, and for the physical appetite you provoke. It's puzzling and uncomfortable and I just want to strangle you for it sometimes!" he screamed as he tried to restrain himself from wrapping his hands around my neck.
I was stunned. Not necessarily of the confession itself, I had already suspected this might be the case, but of the fact he was actually sharing it with me. I couldn't help but feel happy about what he'd just revealed, he was admitting that he had genuine feelings for me and that I titillated him. Yeah, every girl just hates hearing that from their boyfriend, right? I made sure my euphoria didn't show on my face or I might end up with a black eye to go along with the delirium. He was really on edge and I really didn't want to provoke him to violence at this particular moment. I carefully stood with my arms at my sides and raised my eyes to his.
"Then do what you have to do to get through it Puddin. Yell at me, threaten me, hit me, humiliate me or blame me. Whatever it takes for you to keep me around. I'll always forgive you and I'll never stop loving you." He stared at me in bewilderment.
"Harley, you can't really mean that. One day I'm going to hurt you and you'll be gone before I can blink. Then Pammy can have a great big laugh at my expense, swoop in and pick up the pieces and come out smelling like a rose!" He walked towards me with fire in his eyes and I backed up until I bumped into something behind me, halting my escape. He grabbed my shoulders and slammed me into the wall. "Why not just kill you now and get it over with?" He said darkly. My blood turned to ice, the look in his eyes said he was really considering it.
"Because that's not going to happen Puddin. Sure we'll fight and sure we'll hurt each other. We may even spend some time apart one day, but I promise you I'm always gonna come back and I'm always gonna love you." He shook his head in disbelief. "I spent years alone waiting for my prince to come, who knew mine was going to be the Clown Prince of Crime? Please don't push me away." I reached up and placed my hands on the sides of his face and gave him a pleading look. "Let's just give it a chance and see how things go. We'll take it as it comes and work through it together."
"Don't go all Dr. Harleen Quinzel super-villain shrink on me Harls." He said impassively. I giggled and wrapped my arms around his neck, stood on my tiptoes and caught his bottom lip between mine. He stiffened for just a second then relented and reciprocated.
"It's okay to enjoy this, ya know. I know it's not as exciting to you as fighting the Bat or coming up with a new scheme, but it doesn't mean it has to be boring either." I brushed a stray curl of emerald hair off his forehead. "Now, let's just try to enjoy our first night together as wanted criminals and have a little fun, okay?" I stretched as far on my tiptoes as I could and swiped my tongue up the side of his aquiline nose. He stopped and blinked at me several times.
"Did you just lick my nose?" I giggled as a smile spread across my face.
"Yup. Whatta ya gonna do about it tough guy?" I said playfully. He sniggered at me as he wiped the moisture from his nose with the back of his hand.
"Oh, so that's how you want to play, eh? Well, I think I just might have to beat your bottom blue for that." I sidestepped towards the door, still smiling at him brazenly.
"Oh yeah? Well, you're gonna have to catch me first." He lunged at me. He had a long reach but I was faster than he was and I quickly darted out of the way. The ceilings in this room and the hallway were vaulted so when he came running after me I did a series of five front handsprings which got me to the stairwell that led down to the warehouse level. I straddled the railing and slid down to the main floor, forgetting that I had no panties on. That ended up being a not so great idea, it didn't feel very nice going down and I think I chaffed something. I should have borrowed a pair of Mr. J's boxers.
"Hey, enough with the gymnastics kiddo! Daddy can't spank you if Daddy can't catch you."
"All's fair in love and war Mistah J!" He bounded down the stairs after me and I was already flipping myself on top of a pile of crates. When I reached the top of the pile I jumped out and grabbed a hold of a net that was hanging from one of the crane hooks in the ceiling, swung myself upwards and wrapped my legs in it so I was swinging upside down. "Now whatcha gonna do Mistah J?" He was looking up at me with an evil grin.
"Hmmmm, ya know, I happen to know something that you don't, little girl." I was still swinging upside down, arms crossed over my chest, looking petulant.
"Oh yeah, what's that?" He pulled his hand from behind his back. He was holding a small boxy looking controller with two buttons and a joystick on the front of it.
"This." he said casually as he pressed a button. The crane I was swinging on dropped towards the ground and I suddenly found myself buried head first in a crate of Styrofoam packing peanuts. I eventually managed to untangle my legs and get my head above the sea of packing material to take a breath. Joker was cackling uncontrollably.
"Heeeyyyyy! Mistah Jaaayyy! No fair, no fair!" I whined. J popped up on the side of the crate smiling like a fool.
"Awww, what happened baby?" I struggled to get out on my own but the crate was pretty deep and the peanuts were like quicksand, the more I struggled the deeper I seemed to get buried.
"C'mon Mistah J, get me outta here. I got Styrofoam stuck to my butt!" he pulled a handful of peanuts from my pigtail.
"Stuck to your hair too, Poo." He chuckled as he leaned over and grabbed my hand. "Up you go naughty girl." He pulled me out of the box and the static electricity caused the Styrofoam to stick to every part of my body. J was laughing so hard I thought he was gonna bust a gut. "Oh my goodness, don't you look a sight! If only I had a camera!" I stuck out my bottom lip in an exaggerated pout as I tried to brush the mess off of myself.
"Ha. Ha. Very funny Mistah J." I stuck my tongue out at him.
"Now, now Pumpkin. It was that tongue of yours that got you into this mess in the first place." I gave him a sultry look.
"And maybe it's what's gonna get me out of it too, Puddin." He raised his eyebrows as I strutted over to him and wrapped my arms around his slim waist.
"You're insatiable, you know that?"
"I'm just making up for lost time."
I ran my hand down his bare chest, across those rock hard abs and continued down until I reached the front of his pajama pants. He twitched beneath my hand and I gently rubbed until his body began to respond. I slowly bent down until I was on my knees, hooked my fingers into his waistband and I looked up at him, seeking his permission to continue. His eyes were already glazing and he nodded almost imperceptibly. I took it as a sign to continue. I pulled down his pajamas and his erection sprang out eagerly. I took him in my hand and started to run my hand along his shaft as my other hand gently cupped his balls and began massaging. I peppered the head of his cock with tiny kisses and licks as I continued to stroke him. I ran my tongue along the underside until I felt him fully harden. Still stroking him with my hand, I took one side of his scrotum into my mouth and caressed it with my tongue tenderly rolling it around in my mouth and sucking with a very light pressure, I repeated the motion on the other side until I heard him moan. I took his head into my mouth and swirled my tongue around the tip. I put special concentration to that special area on the underside of his head and I felt Joker dig his hands into my hair urging me forward. Slowly I manipulated him with my lips and tongue and worked my way down as far as I could until I could feel him pressing into the back of my throat. I gagged a little and pulled back, a string of saliva still connected from my lip to the tip of his cock. I was massaging his nuts with one hand and I wrapped the other behind him, grabbing his ass and pulling him towards me until he was at the back of my throat again. I rubbed my tongue roughly around the underside of his shaft as I moved back and forth increasing my pace slightly. I had to pull back to take a breath through my nose and I looked up at him as I descended once again. He held my gaze with his lidded eyes as he watched himself disappear inside of my mouth over and over again. He roughly pulled me forward with my pigtails, impaling my throat and I gagged again, but he didn't let me pull back this time. I squeezed his ass as he deep throated me. I moaned, sending vibrations through his phallus and I heard him sharply inhale.
"Jesus Christ, Harley." He said breathily as he stared down at me. He finally allowed me a brief respite so I could take a few breaths. His shaft was slick and glistening with my spit. I leaned back in and sped up the pace, caressing the area around his balls a little less gently. I moaned with him in my throat again and I heard him groan as I felt his cock swelling. He was close. I used a bit more suction as I stroked him with mouth and tongue. I heard him whisper, "Fuck Harley, I'm gonna come."
As I felt him stiffen I pulled his cock out of my mouth, gripped him in my hand and pumped his shaft. His seed spurted out onto my face and dripped down my chin and onto the T-shirt I was wearing. Before he softened I took him back in my mouth and sucked as hard as I could while running my tongue up and down his shaft. He sucked in air through his teeth and his entire body shuddered. I released him from my mouth as he began to soften. He looked down at me with a sort of awe.
"Your mouth may be insolent from time to time Harls, but damn if it doesn't have its uses."
We both froze as we heard the steel outer door bang shut and an embarrassed Rocco yelling. "I didn't see n-nothing boss! I-I'll j-just go now and c-come back l-later!"
I could only imagine the sight poor old Rocco walked in on. Joker's bare lily white ass, with my hands gripping his cheeks, me kneeling between his slightly spread legs. If this had happened to me with anyone other than Mr., J I would have been mortified. Instead we both looked at each other and burst out laughing hysterically. He reached down and quickly pulled up his pajama bottoms.
"Listen cupcake, why don't you go back upstairs and get cleaned up and I'll go deal with Roc."
When my giggles subsided I nodded and said, "Be nice to him J, it's our fault for being down here. The poor guy must be horrified." He chuckled and gave me a noogie before wandering off to find his poor embarrassed henchman. I padded quietly up the steps and into our shared bathroom to wash the evidence off of my face. J came in a few minutes later, his arms laden with bags.
"Rocco thought you might be wanting a shower so he brought some things for you. His kid is about your size so his wife threw together a few things for you to wear until she can get out to shop later today." I took the bags from him and sheepishly asked.
"So what did he say, you know, about us?"
"Not a damn thing. He denied seeing anything. There's a reason Rocco has been with me for this long, ya know."
I eagerly went through the bags. He had done very well, he got pretty much everything I had asked for and he even managed to find my favorite strawberry scented shampoo. There was a bag of clothing. On top was a new package of white cotton panties, a package of white socks and a sports bra with the tags still on it. The rest must have come from their daughter's closet. There were two pairs of yoga pants, a pair of hip hugger jeans, several t-shirts with names of bands I had never heard of before, a few of which would be going on my bad band name list the next time I was extremely pissed off. There was a white button down, a black hoodie and a pair of sneakers that were half a size too big, but they'd do for now. I glanced longingly at the bathroom.
"Mind if I get cleaned up Puddin?" He walked over and fell backwards onto the bed making the springs squeak loudly as he did so.
"Do what you want sweets. After all that exercise I need to get a few winks in. Wake me at six if I'm not up." I walked over, leaned down and kissed him.
"Okay handsome, sleep tight. I love you."
"Yeah, yeah." He rolled over on his side, pulled the blankets up to his neck and closed his eyes as I headed in for a long, hot, well-deserved shower.