There was a strange, metallic smell to the cool air that rushed against Kana's face, as if it was artificial or some sort of gas; she noticed that it felt differently than the still air around the rest of her body just before she realized that there was something being pressed against her face.
It was then that the pain in her body made itself known – sharp and dull at the same time, every inch of Kana's body ached and screamed at her in a dizzyingly horrible sensation. She moaned against the sudden rush of crippling pain and tried to lift her arms, only to realize that one of her hands was pinned down by something.
Her eyes snapped open as alarm set in. Kana fought against her stiff muscles and increasing agony to push herself up from the bed she was laying on and ripped away the plastic mask that was attached to her face; her vision was too blurry to make out more than just the vague shapes of two bodies that were seated next to the bed, the one that had been holding her arm down moving with her.
There was the sound of a heart rate monitor next to her that began to beep rapidly as her pulse thundered away; she ripped the ECG wires away from her skin.
More figures made their way towards where she was clumsily pulling herself out of the bed. Kana's body gave way beneath her weight and she had to catch herself on the bed to keep herself from collapsing to the cold linoleum floor.
"…Sedative…She'll tear…"
She ripped the IV out of her arm, snapping the rubber cord and holding it like a kunai.
"She still… Mission… Give… A second…"
"…Kana… Home…!"
'Lee…'
Kana looked up from the floor and blinked at the figure that had moved over to stand about ten feet in front of her, one arm reaching out to her while the other was reaching out to the side.
As her vision cleared, she could see Neji standing in front of her with an all-too-familiar look of worry, skin unusually pale and hair disheveled; Izumo and Lee stood behind him with red-rimmed eyes. Her own green eyes flitted around the room, taking in her surroundings, and Kana allowed the suppressed panic to wash over her as she realized she was in the hospital. She rode out the panic, her breath releasing in short and painful gasps.
Neji recognized the signs and took the opportunity to close the distance between them to kneel in front of his friend. She sagged into his body when he wrapped his arms around hers, not noticing how she had been shaking until Kana had to will her arms to loop around his shoulders. The smell of green tea and mint was mitigated by the staleness of the hospital, she noted, which made her wonder how long Neji had been in the institution with her.
It occurred to Kana that he had been napping over her, and she felt a pang of guilt for waking him as she was helped back into the bed.
The thought was immediately replaced by the stark recollection of what had happened.
"My mission," she gasped, "I need to-"
"It's been handled," Genma said from the door. He, Kakashi and Guy entered the hospital room with a beverage in each hand, and Kana realized that the three empty chairs pushed against the wall must have been for them. When she gave him a questioning look, Izumo pulled one up to the side of her bed with enough room for the nurse to re-stick her with an IV and inject something into the attachment piece.
"Your teammate made it back to the village just before dawn when Ko and I were changing shifts with the other gate guards," Izumo explained in a shaky voice, "He made it to Hokage Tower just fine. A few hours later, you…"
Kana passed out.
The oxygen mask was back on Kana's face when she woke back up, but this time she had her bearings about her despite having been in a drug induced sleep. She blinked her eyes open blearily to look around the room, thankful to see that the medical nin hadn't strapped her down after her episode.
"You're awake," a familiar voice said matter-of-factly. She turned her head to the side, noting how stiff her neck was, to see Sasuke sitting next to her. He looked uncomfortable but kept his dark eyes locked on her.
She had to fight against the weight of sleepiness while struggling to push herself into a sitting position; Kana noted that the majority of the pain was gone, but she could feel the dull ache of her injuries and tight muscles. The kunoichi flinched involuntarily when Sasuke reached out to help her sit up. "Sorry," she said, voice raspy, "Still shifting gears."
When Kana was sitting upright she realized that her hair was still in a neat braid with her bangs pulled back. "Did you see Neji when you got here?" she asked.
"Yeah, he wasn't exactly happy to see me."
She nodded in acknowledgement; Neji resented Sasuke for pushing her away so it was no surprise to hear that he had met the Uchiha with hostility.
"How are you feel-"
"Why are you here?"
Sasuke visibly cringed at her harsh tone and looked down at the hospital sheet, shifting uncomfortably. "Your teammate showed up at my apartment," he said in a low voice, "He told me that you were killed in action."
That's right, Kana had given Diyo a message for the boy… She suddenly felt bad for reacting the way that she did but, before she could apologize, he kept talking.
"At first I didn't believe him. When it finally sunk in, I realized that I had spent half of my life pushing you away… And the last thing I had ever said to you was, 'Things change.' When he told me what you said, about how you had been watching over me this whole time…" Sasuke paused to shake his head with a dark laugh, "The only thing I could think of was 'Did she really think I didn't know?'"
Kana gave him a questioning look, "You knew?"
"Who else cuts tofu into animal shapes and leaves it in a twelve year old's mailbox?" he answered with a grim smile, "Anyways… When I heard that you had been found and were being treated in the ICU…" Sasuke reached down between his legs and placed a small stuffed animal in her lap with a blush, "It was your birthday, and I realized the only thing I had ever given you was some stupid bracelet."
When it was clear she wasn't going to say anything Sasuke sighed, looking extremely uncomfortable as he did so, "Look, I know things won't be the same as they were. We aren't the same people we were back then. But I want you to know that I really did want you around, you… You just reminded me of everything I had lost."
"What do you want, Sasuke?"
Even with his bangs hiding the majority of his pale face, Kana could see the hurt in his face at the sound of her vexed tone. She didn't mean to come off as angry, but the more he spoke, the more morose she became. It didn't help that Kana still felt on edge from the post-mission stress and the dull pain in her body.
"I want to say that I'm sorry, for everything. And… I want you to know that I've missed you."
His eyes slowly looked up from beneath dark lashes, and Kana furrowed her brow at the brown cat plush sitting on her legs to avoid his gaze. This was what she wanted, wasn't it? She wanted Sasuke to acknowledge her – to welcome her back into his life – so where were the emotions? She should be ecstatic to finally have her little brother figure back in her arms, instead of having to watch him from the shadows of trees and drop medicine or food in his mailbox when no one was around. She understood the symbolic nature of the toy, so why did Kana feel so unhappy when she looked at it?
The sound of the door opening broke the heavy silence, and the pair both snapped their heads up to see who it was. Tenten entered the room with a pink haired girl she didn't recognize and Neji, who locked eyes with Kana before looking at Sasuke angrily.
"What did you do?" he snarled, "This is why I said you shouldn't be here."
Tenten grabbed her teammate's arm when he pulled Sasuke out of the chair by the collar. "Whoa, Neji, calm down. We probably just came in at a bad time."
"It's only ever a bad time when he's involved!"
Sasuke shook Neji off and glared at the older boy, fists clenched by his sides. "You don't tell me what to do," he hissed, "I'll leave when I damn well please."
The pink haired girl – Kana was pretty sure this was Sakura, if Lee's ramblings were anything to go off of - was still standing by the door, her eyes darting back and forth worriedly between the rooms occupants but not moving a muscle. "Actually, Sasuke…" she said timidly, "Kakashi-sensei sent me to get you. He says we're being assigned a mission."
The boy grit his teeth audibly in response before shoving past Neji to storm out of the room, who sat next to Kana's hip on the bed.
"Sasuke," she called, her voice still somewhat raspy from sleep. Kana gave a small, sad smile when he turned to face her with expectant eyes, "The bracelet wasn't stupid. I still love it."
She watched Sakura give Sasuke's blushing face a questioning look as they left the room before leaning forward to kiss his cheek with a sad smile.
"Are you okay? What did he say?" Neji asked in a low voice, white eyes scanning her face; Kana didn't realize her hands were trembling until he covered them with his own. Everything had happened so fast just then that she had just begun to fully process what just transpired.
"He apologized," she said, "He told me what I had been wanting to hear for years, but…" she let her head fall down to Neji's shoulder with a sigh, "It didn't make me happy like I thought it would."
One of Neji's slender hands slid around her waist, the other still resting over hers in her lap, "Do you need anything?" he murmured, "Are you feeling okay now?"
Turning her palm upwards, she laced their fingers together and allowed herself to relax in the embrace of her little brother as the realization of what had happened set in. Kana had almost – no, she knew that she had died in that forest. She felt her life slip out of her body with Yuta's cold form draped across her lap. Green eyes screwed shut and she tightened her grip, "Neji," she breathed.
His hand squeezed hers in response, and she could feel his lips press gently into her bandaged shoulder, "You're home, you're safe. I'll stay with you as long as you need."
After a long silence, Tenten awkwardly shifted her weight to her other foot and lifted up a backpack with a forced smile, "I thought a girl should pack your things this time," she said, shaking the bag, "I made sure not to leave anything out."
Kana pulled away from Neji to take the bag from her outstretched hands and opened it up, a small chuckle escaping her lips when she saw that Tenten had, in fact, made sure to not leave an item forgotten in Genma's apartment. She pulled out the copy of Icha Icha Tactics with a wry smile, "That you did."
Konoha always had warm weather, but the nights were finally getting cooler. Kana closed her eyes when another breeze rolled through the village, feeling the chill roll over her body and her hair sway in the wind. She didn't look over her shoulder when the door to the hospital room opened. The chakra signature was one Kana was more than familiar with.
"Did you get lazy in the middle of an escape attempt?" Raido asked.
She didn't laugh at the half-hearted joke. The kunoichi listened to the man unzip his flak jacket and set it on a chair; she pulled away from the hand he set on her shoulder. When Raido asked about Neji's whereabouts, she only sighed. Neji and Tenten were both on a weapons run mission, Kakashi and Genma were on an infiltration mission and Guy had been gone for nearly a week. Even Kotetsu and Izumo were busy with their own assignments. Kana and Lee had been spending a lot of time together, as a result, but she often found herself alone with her own thoughts as she recovered.
"It was bad, wasn't it? Your mission."
Kana stared at the bushes that lined the hospital walls three floors below her dangling feet as the man leaned against the glass window with a sigh. She would have pulled away from the hand he placed on the middle of her back, but the move would have resulted in Kana falling out of the window so she stayed put.
"Look, I may not be in Anbu," he started, "But I'm still a tokubetsu jonin... I've fought my fair share of battles, and lost almost as many friends. I know what it's like – to feel afraid, and angry, and frustrated, and alone. You can't relax enough to sleep, no matter how tired you get, and even though you've turned in the mission report it still feels like there's more to do."
A tear escaped the confines of her lashes and rolled down Kana's cheek as he spoke. The breath she didn't know was holding released in a long sigh when the man's warmth enveloped her small frame, and Kana wrapped her own arms around his as Raido pulled her close.
She focused chakra to her hand so that it was visible to Raido, who had tilted his head down to rest his cheek against the side of her head. "You know what the weird thing is about my chakra? When other people use jutsu, once it's out of their body that's the end of it. They don't feel it anymore. But with my kekkei genkai, I… I feel everything." Kana released the chakra and watched it dissipate into the air, "When I use it as an imitation of fire release jutsu… Or when I form it into something solid like my blade or senbon… Or use that wave you saw during training… I still feel it. I can feel it cut and burn through skin, and I can feel when the pressure of my wave makes an organ explode… The chakra is still connected to my body and mind until I release it."
Kana took in a shaky breath and fought against the rising lump in her throat. "I had to cut my teammate's throat just so he didn't have to suffer," she whispered, "He had shuriken lodged in his lungs and heart, and was poisoned with a toxin that eats chakra. I… I felt him die in my arms. My other teammate was killed at the start of the ambush… I had to… I had to disintegrate both of their bodies… I could feel everything..."
Her voice cracked at the last sentence; Raido's arms tightened around her body as the weight of her words sunk in. A choked sob escaped her lips when she felt his press against her temple.
"Four of my teammates… Have died in the last month because… B-because of my own failures as a shinobi… Rai, I've lost so many teammates… And m-most of them… I didn't even know their names, who they were. What they looked like behind their masks… I couldn't protect them, or Sasuke, or the village…"
Her throat constricted too much for her to speak, so Kana trailed off. Raido was silent the entire time, knowing there wasn't anything he could say to make things easier. The two stayed like that for what seemed like forever: Raido held her back flush against his chest, placing delicate kisses along her head and neck while Kana wept freely. His breath was warm and steady, puffing against her skin with each fall of Raido's chest.
Ignoring the aches in her muscles and the pain from her wounds, Kana twisted around on the window to wrap her arms around the man's broad shoulders, who lifted her up off of the sill and carried her over to the bed. Raido climbed on top of the sheets next to her and wrapped his arms around Kana's shoulders when she curled into him.
With her face nestled into the crook of Raido's neck, she realized that his hair was mussed and he smelled like dirt and sweat. Kana ran her hand down his chest and felt the muscles twitch beneath her fingertips, noting how measured his breathing was. "How long have you been back?"
"I turned in my mission report right before I came here," he answered softly, "I'm just glad Iruka wasn't the one on duty. He always gives me a hard time over my handwriting."
A hand tugged the uniform shirt out from the waistband of Raido's pants and dipped beneath the fabric as he spoke; Kana's fingers splayed over his flank and explored his warm skin, searching for any injuries. He winced when she brushed his sternum, so Kana channeled some chakra to her fingertips to alleviate the minor swelling, feeling the warmth of his sigh against the top of her head as the bruise faded away.
"I love you, Kana."
The hand on his chest froze as Kana made a surprised noise that sounded more like a squeak; she was glad her face was buried in the crook of Raido's neck so he didn't see whatever stunned expression she wore, which was probably not flattering. For a fleeting moment she considered pulling away or pretending to fall asleep, but the racing pulse Kana felt beneath her cheek told her that it wouldn't be fair to do so.
Raido brought his hand to the small of her back to press their bodies flush, "Kotetsu and Izumo were the ones on guard duty when you were brought to the village gates," he started, "They said a pair of unnamed shinobi left you on the ground, just inside the village, and disappeared. The poison had eaten away at what little chakra you had left, and… You had lost so much blood that the med nin said that it must have been sheer willpower that kept you alive. By the time they had told me what happened, you were out of surgery and in the ICU…" Raido's voice wavered as he spoke, "The blood loss… You looked dead, Kana. When I touched your hand, you felt dead."
She squeezed her eyes shut as if it would block out his words, but she only saw flashes of him sitting by her bed, eyes scared and bloodshot as Kana drifted in and out of consciousness during the first few days of recovery. This was why she didn't want to get close to people – why she never wanted to start a relationship with anyone, despite the occasional advances made by other shinobi.
Pain was always involved in their lives. There was always loss.
"I was assigned to a mission afterwards, and… The entire time I just wanted to get home... To come back to you..."
Her throat constricted painfully.
"You don't have to say anything, I understand."
He deserved better.
"I only didn't want something to happen to one of us without it having been said."
He deserved a life where he could come home and know that there was going to be someone waiting for him.
"I love you, kitten."
"Don't do this," she whispered shakily, just loud enough for Raido to hear, "Jonin can't fall in love - not with each other… Not when we're all living on borrowed time."
He didn't deserve a relationship with a constant sword hanging over it.
As she expected, his already stiff muscles tensed at her words and Kana could feel his breath hitch before he spoke, "Kana…"
The hurt in the man's voice caused her to cringe inwardly and, for a moment, Kana wished she hadn't said anything. She opened her eyes and tried to ignore Raido's racing pulse beneath her cheek, "You and I both know that it wouldn't end well. We don't get happy endings. Eventually, one of us is going to leave for a mission and not come back."
"You're right," Raido agreed after a long silence, "It would be easier if I settled with a non shinobi. It'd be a lot easier if I decided to be with someone that doesn't live a life of battle and hospital visits."
He loosened his hold on Kana's shoulders to pull back enough to place a tender kiss on her forehead, "But, civilians, they don't understand what we go through, what we endure when we're out on missions. Try as they might, they simply can't relate to us on a deeper level – and that's something I need. Even if that means I have to worry about that person not coming back home."
Kana wriggled an arm up between their chests so she could untie Raido's headband, sliding it back and tossing it on top of his flak jacket. Disheveled brown hair was knotted together a frizzy, matted mess that she attempted to smooth out by combing through the locks with her fingernails. Being in the hospital for over a week meant that her nails were a little longer than normal, so they made soft scratching sounds as they raked through Raido's hair.
"I know that this is sudden, and believe me when I say I feel bad about dumping this on you out of nowhere..." Raido sighed, "I wish I told you sooner."
The kunoichi forced herself to pull away far enough so that she could meet his anxious gaze, "Why?" she asked, her voice barely louder than a whisper, "Why didn't you say anything?"
Regret flashed across his tanned face, "I thought you and Genma had something together. I was going to tell you after the funeral, but… I told myself that I couldn't get in between you two like that. And as the weeks went by after you and Genma told me nothing was going on, I…" He sighed and brought a hand up from Kana's shoulder to rub at his eyes with a heavy sigh, "I wanted to wait to see if you'd come to me first."
Kana frowned, "Raido, I'm… I'm not really the type of person who does that," she said in a low voice.
He must have misread her frown for discontent towards his confession because Raido squeezed his eyes shut for a breath and abruptly pushed himself up into a sitting position, "I know, I'm sorry. This was selfish of me, I shouldn't have dumped this all on you right after you just poured your heart out like that." The tokujo rubbed both of his hands over his face with a groan, "I am such an asshole."
"Shut up, moron. No you're not," her voice wavered as she continued to speak, "I… I want this."
Shoulders stiffened. Raido looked over his shoulder and locked his uneasy gaze with Kana's; there was a look of guilt and anxiety that was accompanied by impossibly rigid muscles. It almost looked as if the fibers would snap beneath all of the tension.
"I want this, Rairai," she repeated, pushing a sense of resolve into her voice this time.
Some of the tautness in his back lessened, and the tokujo turned, "Kana, I..."
She frowned again and pushed herself up so that she sat next to him, sitting up straight and grabbing Raido by the fabric of his shirt. An idea popped into her head and Kana lifted her fingertips to the side of his face, turning it towards her own as she leaned in before she could talk herself out of it.
His familiar lips were warm and soft against hers, almost like silk, but strong as well. They moved slowly, tentatively, at first as if Raido was expecting her to pull away or change her mind. When Kana's hand slid upwards to cup Raido's cheek, he finally relaxed and the cautiousness melted into gentle passion as the man kissed her back, but there was an unmistakable layer of tension lying beneath the surface, held back only by the man's diligent self control.
He broke the kiss to rest their foreheads together, his breathing coming in shallow pants, "What is 'This', Kana?" he asked, his lips close enough to ghost over hers, "I need to know what to expect."
Green eyes snapped open in a fleeting sense of realization – while some of the tension in his body could be attributed to Raido just getting back from a mission, he was holding himself back to protect himself. It occurred to Kana that Genma told him all of the sordid details of their less than impressive kiss, including what had prompted it, and he was worried that this was the same situation or that this was going to just be another post-mission fuck.
She released a breath she wasn't aware she had been holding and took one of Raido's lightly scarred, calloused hands into her own. "I'm not going to lie and tell you that I'm madly in love and hearing wedding bells," Kana murmured, "But I really do care for you. And, if… If you're willing to be patient, I'd…" she trailed off with a blush, choosing to instead bite her lip and hide her face behind a veil of hair.
The man twisted his body so that he faced Kana, reaching over to place a hand on her hip and leaning down for a long kiss on her bare shoulder. "It's hypocritical of me to say this, but I just never thought you felt anything. I want to be sure that you're sure," he mumbled against her skin.
It was true; she had never exactly expressed a romantic interest in those around her. Though, it wasn't matter of not wanting to, she just was never exactly sure how she should go about things - the most Kana had ever accomplished was the occasional late night romp, however…
Kana felt her blush gain intensity as she tried to ignore the tight feeling of anxiety in her stomach, "I, uh, I actually did try once to say something…"
"What? When?!"
"It was about a year ago, when I led a mission with you…" she squeezed her eyes shut, "Do you remember? We were on a recon mission to the Land of Iron."
They were on their way back to the village, more than pleased that their mission had run without a hitch. The squad had decided to stop for the night and set up a small camp, and Anko had taken first watch while the others all huddled under shared blankets next to the pathetic excuse for a fire they had managed to start.
Raido was sandwiched between Hayate and Kana, facing the kunoichi with his best friend spooning against his back.
"Of course I remember. It was the first time you-" The man gaped at her incredulously.
Their breath puffed between their faces in small, hot clouds that dissipated as soon as they formed; Kana sniffed against the cold and pressed her body closer against her teammate's. Raido's arms looped around her arms in response to press their bodies flush against each other with his head tilted down, his cold nose brushing against hers.
Kana's hand wriggled up between their bodies to brush a thumb gently along the scarring on his neck. "Rai," she breathed, "I… You're so perfect. I love your scars."
"Wait, that was your attempt at telling me you were interested?!"
The kunoichi narrowed her eyes, "Is that even a question?"
Raido gave her a sheepish grin and shrugged, "Sorry. I kind of forget that you were a social retard."
Kana frowned.
He chuckled.
By this point the position they were in was beginning to get uncomfortable, so the pair lazily dropped back to lie top of the bed covers in a tangle of limbs. Raido placed a hand on Kana's waist to tug her into a gentle hold; she rested her head in the crook of his shoulder with a sigh. One hand rose to tenderly stroke the exposed wealed scar that extended to his nose. Raido silently gasped as her fingertips grazed the sensitive flesh, just like he always did.
"I meant it," Kana mumbled, "What I said that night."
Raido's hand smoothed over her hip and dipped under her tank, sliding up to her flank where he brushed the pads of his fingers against her own scar with a tender smile, "Yeah. I know."
He leaned down to seal their lips in a deep kiss. It was benevolent and tender, exactly how she remembered. In the last year, the way that Raido kissed her had changed - now that she understood why, the sensation made her stomach flutter. Kana snaked her hands around to the back of his head to pull him closer, fingers gripping his hair.
Raido moaned softly in response and rolled their bodies so that he was gently pinning her down into the bed. The stab wounds on her back protested at the sudden increase in pressure, but Kana ignored the ache and threw her free arm around his chest, clutching the fabric of his shirt to close what little distance was between them, clinging to him as if for dear life. He groaned into her mouth when the movement pressed his growing erection into her crotch before breaking the kiss to stare down at Kana thoughtfully.
"I can't help but feel cheesy for initiating something after all that…" he mumbled.
Kana snorted and rolled her eyes, "This isn't the first time we've done this, Rai… And it isn't as if you're the manipulative type…" When Raido frowned in response, she slid a hand from his hair to cup his cheek reassuringly.
As she tried to put her thoughts together to explain how she was a grown ass woman that could make her own decisions, there was a light pressure on her jaw and she realized that Raido was feeling the stitches that ran from Kana's hairline down to just below her jaw. She could see his warm expression darken as the silence wore on, and Kana felt her heart sink. "Raido…"
"I almost lost you," he breathed, "If you hadn't been found, or if this had been only a little lower…"
His lips came crashing down on hers, this time rough and possessive as if some sort of mental gear had shifted in him. Raido trailed his mouth along her jaw and bit down on her neck, gripping her hips hard enough for Kana to know there would be bruises tomorrow morning; she kept herself from squirming uncomfortably for his sake.
The man positioned himself between legs that spread invitingly for him before grinding his hips into Kana's, lips working against hers furiously, and set a steady pace that she mirrored despite being pressed into the mattress.
She returned the searing kiss with fervor, her arm pulling him tight. Her free hand found purchase between Raido's shoulder blades as she practically clung to his body.
Raido growled appreciatively at the motion and slid one hand under back under shirt and up her ribcage, "Kana…" he groaned needily.
There were times when Raido would come back from a particularly upsetting or long mission and couldn't calm down on his own; he relied on Kana to help him get the edge off and put whatever he had experienced on the field behind him. She did the same thing, crawling through his window at ungodly hours of the night for the release those endorphins provided. But there were times where his anxiety was too much for him to handle – times like this, where Raido became too desperate for comfort and couldn't hold himself back.
"It's okay," she gasped, "Let go, Raido."
He pulled away long enough to tear their shirts off before flattening himself against Kana's body again with a throaty groan; he shoved his arms under her body to pull her impossibly closer, as if he was trying to merge their bodies together, while her legs crossed over his waist and locked together at the ankles. She could feel the warmth of Raido's tears trailing down her cheeks as he brought their lips together in another desperate kiss that left her gasping for air.
In that moment, he filled her senses. His even teeth bit fiercely at her bottom lip when she broke the kiss to remind her lungs what it felt like to have oxygen inside of them, and he chose to take the opportunity of her mouth opening to plunge his tongue as far down her throat as possible. His tongue lapped at her tonsils and the roof of her mouth greedily, as if Raido was mapping the entirety of her mouth with the warm muscle.
Her wounds burned just enough to keep her from totally slipping as she forcefully raked her dull nails across his skin, eliciting another moan from the man was frantically working at opening his pants while smothering her face with his own.
'Oh, Rai… What happened..?'
Something soft and warm was pressed against Kana's body when she woke up. She could hear a thumping sound against her ear, and something was stroking her hair.
No, something wasn't pressed against her, she was draped over something.
Heavy eyelids struggled to open as Kana fought against the grogginess but, even as they opened, her eyes were too cloudy from sleep to see much more than colors and vague shapes; her eyes drifted downwards to where her hand rested next to her face, watching it rise and fall with the chest that it rested on as she recalled the night before.
'I was sulking, and Raido came by…'
She realized that she had woken up with her body wrapped around Raido's still form, her left leg having slipped between his and her head tucked into the curve of his neck. The feeling in her hair was his fingers weaving through the long tresses, ghosting over her skin when he came to the ends before his hand moved back up to the top of her head.
At first she felt nervous and thought about pulling away, but Raido's heartbeat and gentle motions felt too inviting for her to entertain the thought any further; Kana closed her eyes again and allowed herself to enjoy the sensations. Raido's hand changed patterns just a few moments later, brushing her hair off of her shoulders and to the side – the loss of her makeshift blanket meant that the cool air rushed to meet her exposed shoulders, and Kana had to fight the urge to yank the hospital covers up. His touch was soft and gentle at the base of her neck, drawing lazy circles and unrecognizable patterns with the very tips of his fingers while slowly moving down the bare skin.
"Are you okay?"
Kana stiffened at the sudden sound of his low voice breaking the serene silence of their synchronized breathing, even if it was barely more than a whisper. "You knew I was awake?" she asked, voice cracking slightly from sleep.
She felt Raido's chuckle rumble through his chest and watched her hand bounce with his breaths. "You stopped drooling," he explained.
'I drooled on him?' The thought horrified her, and she began to pull away from him in embarrassment. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"It isn't the first time," he said in a humored tone, dark eyes meeting hers in a gentle gaze. Raido reached out with his right arm to tenderly hold her shoulder from moving back any further. "Besides, I like feeling close to you… Even if it means I have to bathe in your saliva."
Kana cringed at the joke, but the humored smirk on his face didn't allow for her to think too much of it. "Cheeky shit," she muttered with a small laugh as she laid herself back down on his bicep; she reached out to twirl a lock of disheveled brown hair around her finger. "I like you better without your headband… You look younger, somehow."
"Are you saying I look old with it on?"
"What? No, of course not – you just look really-" She stopped herself from finishing her sentence, but the mischievous glint in Raido's eye told her that she didn't need to. He rolled onto his side to face her, pressing their bodies together in a comfortable closeness.
"I look really?" he purred, wincing when Kana pinched the soft skin of his underarm that was still under her neck.
"You look… Handsome," she muttered with a blush. It felt different to compliment Raido now, though she didn't know why – Kana had complimented him dozens of times before, both in the throes of passion and when in a clear state of mind. With his confession last night, though, it felt… Strangely intimate to comment on his appearance. She meant every word of it, however. While Genma was an obviously attractive man that practically oozed sexuality, Raido had a sort of… Damaged, almost solemn rugged handsomeness that appealed to her in ways she couldn't describe.
Raido chuckled, clearly amused with the situation as he brushed her hair out of her face. "You didn't answer my question, you know."
She carefully rolled onto her front, sliding her arms under the pillow and wrapping them around his outstretched arm before placing her head back down on the pillow. "I already told you, you don't look old," she responded lazily with a raised eyebrow. 'God this bed is so cramped…' Kana wanted to just go home and lounge around like this all day. Well, if she had a home. Her apartment building wouldn't be ready for another week.
"You know that isn't what I meant, kitten." Fingertips tenderly placed themselves on the edge of her shoulder blade, half-hovering and half-resting along the exposed skin; her eyes fluttered shut at Raido's familiar touch and relaxed into the sheets. They smelled like dirt, sex, generic detergent and sweat. It was comforting in its own weird way.
"I'm okay. I, uh…" Kana trailed off, not really sure how to properly explain how she had to use medical ninjutsu to keep herself from literally breaking beneath his hips without making him feel bad. She knew Raido always felt terrible when he brought that violent edge to bed, even if he didn't vocalize his concerns. "I'm tougher than I look."
That sounded stupid.
He still looked guilty, so Kana pushed herself up enough to plant a chaste kiss over his lips, "Rai, I'm fine. Really," she said reassuringly. She laid back down with her face turned away from the man. Raido shifted next to her so that he was partly on top of her, lifting his hand to brush his fingertips gingerly along her shoulder blade in an agonizingly slow pace. "Because there are times I just want to be gentle and touch you," he explained when she asked after complaining about the gesture tickling.
Kana focused on the hand that was resting a few inches away from her face, pulling one of her arms from around the man's bicep to run a finger down the purple-green vein that stretched from his elbow before dividing into a delta of smaller veins at his wrist. Green eyes watched Raido's fingers twitch reactively when she traced the fine lines in his hand, swirling around callouses. Kana idly stroked up his middle finger and squeezed the pad gently between her thumb and index finger, a gesture she and Itachi would often exchange.
'Itachi…'
The hand on her back froze above her ribcage, and Kana didn't realize how relaxing Raido's breath was on the back of her head until it halted. "Did I hurt you?" he asked in a low voice. She realized that the man was attributing her sudden tenseness to his hand having drifted down a few ribs over her wound, which they had discovered had started bleeding after their violent fuck.
On a whim she turned back to face him and glided her hand up the round contours of his arm, maintaining a firm and gentle pressure as it passed over the broad expanse of his scarred shoulder; her other hand lifted up to tentatively cup his cheek. Raido's eyes narrowed at her questioningly but he remained silent, allowing her hands to tug his face down towards her own into a soft kiss.
"You trust me on the battlefield, you trust me with your secrets, you trust me with your body…" Kana smiled against his lips, "So please trust me with this. I'm sore, in more ways than one, but I'm okay. So please stop worrying."
His gaze softened at her gentle plea and Raido tilted his head to seal their lips together in another kiss, "I love you."
She furrowed her brow, "Yeah we need to talk about that. Are you sure-"
"Kana," Raido interrupted sharply, "I'm a thirty-two year old man known for being a strict hardass that just confessed his love to an eighteen year old. Don't you dare think I'd make a decision like this unless I was absolutely sure of it."
Kana flinched inwardly at the harshness of his tone, mostly because she knew full well that he was one of the only people in her life that she placed absolute trust in, and vice versa. They had saved each other on more occasions than either of them could count, both on and off the battlefield, so it went without saying that the level of trust they held for each other was almost staggering. The hurt in Raido's voice was definitely understandable.
"That isn't what I meant. I just know that you were really emotional last night and… I want to make sure you're not doing something you're going to…" The shrewd expression Raido gave her made Kana trail off as she realized that was basically the exact definition of making a snap decision. She returned his intense gaze with a sheepish, apologetic look of her own and slipped her hand under the untucked uniform shirt Raido wore, tracing the shuriken scars on his belly with her fingertips.
A nurse entered the room, effectively saving Kana from the building tension. He gave her a quick inspection, checking under bandages and giving Raido a suspicious look whenever he discovered a bruise or scratch that hadn't been there the day before. While handing them the release forms, the nurse made sure to scold her for tearing her stitches last night and emphasized on taking things easy until her wounds had completely healed, which Kana half-heartedly agreed to. Everyone knew that shinobi didn't really wait until they were at 100% to start training again.
When he left the room she gingerly slid off of the bed to retrieve the bag of clothes Tenten had left for her. Her body ached all over, for more than one reason, but Raido didn't need to see her act like she had just fallen off of a cliff, so Kana grit her teeth against the soreness and threw her clothes on as swiftly as possible.
"Hey… Rai…" she murmured, eyes glued to the floor.
A gentle hand on her elbow stopped the kunoichi from moving long enough for her body to be pulled back towards the bed where Raido was still sitting. His arms circled her waist to pull Kana's back against his chest as he set his chin on one of her shoulders. "Hm?"
"Do… Do you mean it?"
She felt him turn his head so that their cheeks were touching, "Have I ever lied to you?"
Kana twisted around in his arms so that they were facing each other. She reached up and pushed his headband up and over his head, tossing it onto the hospital bed and following the motion through to feel her way through Raido's brown hair and down his forehead; her touch was feather-light as she touched the scar that ran from his nose down to his ribs. The puckered, raised skin was incredibly soft.
"Kana," he whispered.
With her free hand, the kunoichi reached out and fumbled around for a few moments until her hand found the cord that controlled the blinds. They fell to just below the window sill as she tugged on the end of the cord, causing the room to be cast in a strong shadow. As her eyes adjusted to the lack of light, she saw that Raido's face still held the same confused expression it had when she first took off his forehead protector. She furrowed her brow at him. "Why do you look like I just asked for Kotetsu's hand in marriage?" she asked.
"We're in public." His voice was rough and husky, a noticeable change from how smooth it normally sounds.
"No, we're in a closed hospital room. Alone."
Raido closed his eyes and sighed, his hand trailing down to the ends of her grey hair. "Kana, our rules-"
Kana tilted his head up towards hers and leaned in to remove a small amount of what little distance was between them; Raido mirrored her movements, turning his face up to rest his cheek against hers. She felt the man's free hand rest on her hip, and Kana had to remind herself to breathe. The result was her releasing her full lungs at once, which caused Raido to stiffen.
Kana felt his lips against her ear as he slightly turned to speak, "Does it hurt?" The low rumble of his voice in her ear gave her goosebumps and her breathing hitched. She shook her head and snaked one hand up the back of his neck and into his thick brown locks.
She had to focus to get her breathing under control before speaking, "Forgot to breathe, is all."
Her goosebumps were accompanied by a shiver as Raido gave a breathy laugh. Kana leaned in further and wrapped her other arm around his broad shoulders, "Do we have to keep hiding it, though? I mean… If you're worried about the age difference, I understand, but…" Kana trailed off, not entirely sure how to put her thoughts into words.
The man kissed the base of her neck, "I know I'll get shit for the age difference, but if you're okay with it then I wouldn't mind being open about us…" Raido pulled back enough to touch their foreheads together, "But only if that's what you really want, if you're one hundred percent sure about this."
Kana frowned. She, and their closest friends, knew that he had plenty of insecurities and doubt about his appearance and his inability to keep a relationship for very long, which was no doubt attributing to why he was acting so cautiously, but was Raido really under the impression that she would take advantage of his trust like that? It was true that they didn't exactly have a build up to his confession, but still.
She pushed him back so that he was half-laying on the bed and swiftly smoothed her hands under his shirt, pushing it up to expose the man's tanned stomach and beautifully disfigured chest, before leaning down to trail her mouth up his body, sucking and nipping at the warm flesh as she kissed her way to his collarbone. Raido released a small gasp and shuddered when she lightly nibbled the sensitive area just next to his floating rib, eliciting a fond smile from the younger woman.
"I want you, Rairai," she murmured against his skin, "I don't want it to just be about sex anymore."
Raido's thumb massaged a couple of gentle circles into the fabric of her shorts, "It hasn't been just sex for a while now, kitten."
"Say it again… Please."
"I love you, Kana."
A content sigh escaped her lips as his hand stroked Kana's hip like before; he flattened his palm against her skin and firmly ran it around and up her exposed back. As his hand travelled over her body, she could feel the tips of Raido's fingers pay special attention to every scar he came across, as if he were trying to memorize each and every pucker and dip in her ghost-like flesh.
"Again."
Raido pulled her face up from his chest to give her a wolfish grin, "You're so greedy," he chuckled, sealing their lips in a chaste kiss, "I love you."
When the door to Kana's hospital room opened, the pair could only look up stupidly as Neji, Kotetsu, Izumo and Hinata cheerily walked through the door, only to stop dead in their tracks. A few seconds passed of the six of them exchanging startled glances as they stood awkwardly, unsure of how to proceed. Kana and Raido were both flattened together, their hair was disheveled and both of Kana's hands were up her boyfriend's shirt .
"L-Lady Hinata," she squeaked.
Kotetsu's whistle must have snapped Hinata out of her daze, as her skin practically glowed a hot pink and she immediately pushed Neji towards the door, effectively shoving the hysterically laughing chunin into the hall. "I'msosorryweshouldhaveknockedwe'regoingnowI'msorry!" she squealed on her way out.
The door slammed shut almost violently behind the group, and Raido chuckled up at the ceiling. "Well, I guess it's out."
Kana grinned and rest her cheek back on his chest, ignoring the fading sounds of Kotetsu and Izumo's whooping from the hall.
Note: So I initially wanted to tease you guys and not update for like a week to make it seem like Kana was really dead, but some of you guys threw some monumental bitch fits so I figured I'd just throw in the next chapter. The tough thing about writing a story that's supposed to be super long (Remember, it's supposed to cover the entire Naruto timeline) is that there are some scenes that don't seem to matter NOW but will matter later. So keep that in mind. Also... This was a really long chapter. I was going to initially stop it at the Sasuke thing, but decided that it would be too short. So yay for gargantuan chapters lol.
YES I will be sure to explain how on god's green earth she made it back to the village.
Now please stop writing me angry messages. Kana's not dead lol. In fact, I wrote something like a five thousand word sex scene with her in it. It was weird. I'll probably just delete it lol. I know a ton of people were rooting for KakashixKana but honestly I had little to no intention of having them as a pairing. Like... I toyed with the idea, but Kakashi gets so much attention in fics anyways that I wanted to put someone like Raido on the forefront.