Chapter Five

xXx

For the first time in a long time, Sam slept peacefully, no lingering images of what had happened, and what was to come giving way to anything too upsetting for him to see. He dreamt of bees. Yellow and black. He dreamt of creatures that could sting him, hurt him, and yet as he watched them flutter passed his body, they didn't pause to give him a look. They just flew passed his eager eyes, skating the sky with their glassy wings, and he watched, amazed.

By the time he'd woken up, it was late night again, the loading bay full to the brim with the Autobots team, and he was glad that he wasn't moved from Bee when he fell asleep. He felt more at home when he was lying on the backseat of Bee. Bee's holoform was still in the car, but he was instead in the driver's seat, asleep, face turned toward him, eyes closed. Everyone was asleep, and it reminded him of the night everything had changed, but instead of thinking of what happened later, Sam remembered what Bee had said to him-

"Sam, just give in. Let yourself fall asleep. Close your eyes, and let yourself give into tiredness."

He smiled softly at the thought, then realised something: it was real. Every single time Bumblebee had looked at him, there was a measure of love in each movement he made toward him. But this was more of a possessive love, the kind you'd only see whenever you wanted to be with someone enough to forget the ties of what's right and what's wrong. The comprehension caused him to sit back in the seat, eyes wide, watching as Bee slept in the front seat.

Bumblebee held him that night, and told him to sleep, but acted in a way that made him feel safe, more than safe, comfortable.

Bumblebee was worried sick for him when he'd been kidnapped, and when they were reunited, Bumblebee made sure he was right by Sam's side.

When Sam almost died from the spark, Bumblebee had taken it inside of him, and was now carrying it. He didn't know where that spark would be, other than right beside his own- that's where they grew. He gulped. No wonder Megatron had been so painful with him. He was trying to lodge the thing closer to his heart. It was enough to make him shiver and almost throw up. He did not need to think about that now.

Even a few hours ago, when he was in Bumblebee's arms, even though Bee had just found out he'd been raped, he'd swallowed it down for his sake, and held him as he drifted off to sleep.

Oh crap.

Even so, when he thought of Bee, there was a slight tingle in his fingers, a warming in his chest. He knew this feeling, but couldn't believe he was having it for a friend. A friend who loved him in the same way. He looked at his hands, trying to make sense of it, and shifted uncomfortably when he felt a throb in his legs. He winced, buckling his legs up under his body on the seat.

"Are you in pain?"

The question knocked him off the seat, and he threw himself at the door, in order to get out, only to have a hand clamp down on his shoulder, making him scream silently.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you jump like that," Bumblebee said tiredly, and Sam looked over his shoulder to see a sleepy Bee, stretching from the front seat, yawning, hands stretched over his head, eyes tightly closed. The sight of it made Sam smile- Bee looked like a kid when he done that. Sighing, Bee wiped at one of his eyes, and smiled at Sam. He climbed into the backseat with him, and sat cross-legged in front of him, before touching one of Sam's knees softly.

Sam winced at the touch, and he jerked away. He wanted the feel of Bee's hand to linger on his skin, but the pain was starting to build steadily now, burning his skin slowly. He didn't want to leave the car, but he had to in order to feel less of the discomfort. Already, Sam was moving out of the car slowly, but Bee clamped down on his chest again, stopping Sam cold, his eyes widening in shock. The force of his hand down on Sam made Bee knot his eyebrows slowly as he registered the pitch in Sam's heart rate accelerate. He looked up to his Sam stare at his hand innocently placed on his chest. The growing horror on Sam's face made him step back a little, and his expression hardened.

This was what Megatron done to him. Sam squeezed his eyes shut, a reflex that surfaced from those moments when he really thought his whole life was over, and waited for whatever was to come, but all Bee done was shift his hand away from his chest, gently trailing it toward his face, before another hand joined it and cradled his face. Sam tried to make himself small: he didn't want to be touched, not like this, so soon after what had happened-

"Sam, it's not going to happen ever again, I swear it," Bee whispered and Sam let out the tiniest gasp, before he felt a forehead graze his very softly, blond hair tickling his cheek. "I will never let that bastard, or any of those bastards near you, ever, ever again. You will not have to come near any of them ever again, and I will protect you, forever, if I have to." Sam's muscles tensed, but Bee's hands smoothed them out, caressing the folds in his shirt. He took in a sharp breath, feeling those hands on his shoulders, over his arms, down toward his hands, and he relaxed into their touch, closing his eyes. Bumblebee saw that slight blush colour Sam's cheeks, and he leaned in again, placing his soft lips down on Sam's.

The result was electrifying, a fire that seemed dormant for so long lashing out onto all that it touched, and Sam leaned in slightly, feeling Bee bunch his hands into Sam's waist, pulling him down onto the seat. Sam's lips were melting against Bumblebee's, and he felt dazed with the touch of them. Each caress brought Sam closer to him, and Bee' hands were travelling over his stomach, up toward his chest.

It didn't feel wrong, and it shouldn't have. This was normal, this was… love, and you can't help who you ended up falling for.

Bumblebee felt right. Being in his arms… felt normal. If he wasn't holding him right now, then Sam would feel as empty as he always did whenever he was away from his gentle touch.

It was only when Bumblebee touched his thigh that Sam jerked away, the kiss breaking off from what was originally intended to be nothing more than a touch of comfort. Sam looked into Bee's eyes, scared, and Bumblebee looked back, before smiling faintly, putting his face up against Sam's.

"I won't hurt you, Sam, I promise," he gently urged, holding his hand, and hearing the trembling in the teenager's voice. He brought a hand around his head and placed him close to his chest. "I love you, and I will always love you, forever and always."

It seemed so easy, but it felt so hard, knowing that what Sam wanted was so close, was touching him and holding him, and yet, he just couldn't go that far. When Bumblebee pressed his lips to his, he felt more than a connection. It was like a spark lighting the darkness, and it made him feel warm. When Bumblebee touched his face, he felt happy inside, and yet the next step was too much, too fast, for him.

He looked into those eyes, finding his own face reflected in them, his own flushed face, and hearing his own rushed breath, and he stopped, blinking. No, he couldn't do it, not yet-

"Not yet, please. Not yet," Sam whispered, reaching out for Bee's hands, and in them, he shifted uncomfortably. Bee watched him carefully, before smiling. Sam looked to him, shocked. "What's so funny?"

"Your face," Bee answered immediately, turning over to hide the giggles he'd suddenly received. Sam went red.

"What does that mean? You just kissed me! How the hell was I supposed to look?"

"You look so serious! It's just-," Bee snorted, and after hearing that infectious laughter start up, not even Sam could repress an embarrassed smile. He shrugged, looking down. "-there's no need to be so serious!"

"About having sex? You don't want me to be serious about my fir-" Sam stopped the thought, and cleared his throat, bringing his legs up, as if to protect himself from everything out of his personal space. Beside him, Bee stopped laughing and looked back. "-about-" Sam continued, biting through near tears, "-about my almost first time?" Bumblebee bit his lip.

"But this would be your first time. Whatever Megatron done to you, and how he done it doesn't mean it would be your second. Giving your love to someone-" Bumblebee smiled, his British voice singing in the air between them, "-for the first time, is important, right?" He leaned his blond fringe into Sam's forehead, gentle, beckoning to a soft side in Sam, not this depressed state. "We don't ever have to do it, Sam. Never. Not if you don't ever want to do it, I promise, and I understand. Having you here, like this, is more important to me, than anything else."

Sam never met his gaze, but he had heard every word that Bumblebee said.

Giving your love to someone, huh?

That sounded very… innocent, didn't it?

"He said I was dirty, Bee. I'm not clean anymore," Sam mumbled, mortified he was saying it, terrified for what Bee would say in return. He couldn't meet Bumblebee's gaze, and he most certainly didn't want to move from this spot now. God, if only the earth could swallow him up now.

"But you aren't. He's the dirty one. He's the vile, sadistic, criminal here. Not you, never you," Bumblebee replied, kissing him on the lips again. In it, Sam found that sweetness that he couldn't find anywhere else. It was more than he ever wanted, and yet, it just wasn't enough. He'd trembled enough under Bee's touch, and he shied away whenever it became too much to bear, but eventually, he became confident enough to kiss Bumblebee back with as much force as all his own love could give, maybe even more. Their kisses deepened, and against his own wishes, Sam groaned.

Bumblebee chuckled, his breath grazing Sam's lips, before leaning down, and pulling Sam's body closer, further off the seat and into his own arms. Sam pushed away again, looking at the fire there in Bee's eyes. "I just want to kiss-" Bee started, before he was cut off again by a warm pair of lips on his.

A/N: Does everyone like it? I didn't want to rush it... And I thought the kiss would be perfect for the whole Christmas atmosphere... I know that when I was typing it, my heart was literally singing with happiness, and I loved the way it turned out so much...

Tell me what you think, as your comments mean a lot to me!

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you all have the best Christmases ever, and please stay safe! I love you all,