When Jonathan saw Evan walking over to him with a smile slapped on his face, Jonathan's heart was racing at the speed of lightening. He smiled and waved, then he walked over.
"Hey." Evan greeted Jonathan.
"Hey, so do you wanna eat in the cafeteria, or do you want to go some where else to eat." Jonathan asked. He was down for what ever Evan wanted, but he secretly wished they could eat somewhere else to just be away from everything. He wanted to soak himself with the warmth of Evan's presence, wanted to block out everything in his life.
"Can we sit somewhere else, on one of the benches maybe? I really don't like the cafeteria. There's so many people and I really don't like all this" Evan replied while waved his hands around gesturing towards the cafeteria.
"Of course. I know the perfect place to sit. Do you have a lunch or do you buy?"
"I actually have a lunch already, but I'll wait in line with you." Jonathan couldn't help but smile. Evan wanted to be with him, and although he had already expressed that feeling many times before, each time felt like it was the first time, the warm feeling all over his body, and a heart racing.
"Alright. Let's go." Evan softly commanded and gestured for Jonathan to follow into the line. As they were walking towards the line, Jonathan felt their arms brush against each other, and immediately Jonathan felt hot. He wasn't used the Evan touching him. He could feel his blush rising on his cheeks and tried hard to hide it by looking away. Evan saw his reaction and gradually made distance between their arms. Evan thought he did it by accident, and he had mixed feelings. Feelings of disappointment and embarrassment flowed through his body. But then they continued to walk in a somewhat comfortable silence as if nothing had happened. As they reached the line and saw how long it was, Jonathan decided to skip lunch, for he didn't want to waste any time for talking to Evan privately.
"Damn that line is fucking long." Evan commented.
"Yeah I don't think it really worth it, I'll just skip and eat after school." Jonathan said with no feelings regret showing in his voice.
"Are you sure? Because we can wait in line, I really don't-"
"Evan. It's fine, I'd rather talk to you." Jonathan interrupted Evans concerning statement while pressing his pointer finger against Evans mouth.
"Alright. If you say so." Evan responded while trying to hide the blush on his face. 'He touched me. He touched me.' Evan thought to himself, wanting to explode with happiness. Instead of spontaneously combusting, he just smiled, radiating with happiness and love.
"Evan? Hello? Earth to Evan?" Jonathan asked while waving his hand in front of Evan's face. Evan snapped out of his thoughts and then apologized. Jonathan then motioned him to follow and once they were out of the cafeteria, Jonathan grabbed Evans wrist and pulled him towards a slim hallway to the right in the hall. At first the touch of Jonathan's skin on his made Evan feel all stiff and hot, but then it quickly faded into a warm and soft feeling. Evan couldn't help but grin, then taking a leap of faith and intertwined Jonathan's hand with his. Jonathan tried to act unfazed, and luckily Evan couldn't see Jonathan's face.
Then Jonathan came to stop, at a red bench and sat down, with Evan's hand still intertwined with his. When he sat, he pulled Evan down with him. Evan then pulled away to grab his lunch out of his deep red backpack. But to Jonathan's surprise, Evan inched closer to Jonathan and pulled out a clementine and a chocolate chip cookie and handed it to Jonathan.
"Evan, please you don't have to give me food. You should eat it. I'm fine." Jonathan said while placing the food back into Evan's hand.
"No Jonathan, take it. I'm fine without it. You need to eat." Evan responded while shoving the food back towards Jonathan. Jonathan sighed and then took the food, a grin unfolding onto his face.
"You're too nice to me Evan, I don't think I deserve a friend like you." Jonathan confessed. Evan then frowned, his brows scrunching up together and his forehead creasing.
"Don't ever say that Jonathan. You deserve a lot more than just a friend. You're too hard on yourself. Heck, I've only known you for two days but I feel like I've known you for years." Evan said while grabbing Jonathan's hand. Jonathan then surprised Evan and pulled him into a tight hug and Evan practically melted, he felt like he could stay in Jonathan's arms forever. As Jonathan pulled back slowly he stopped and looked in Evan's deep brown eyes, inches away from each other. Evan starred right back and was about to lean in when
"BEEEEEEP." The bell rang. Jonathan quickly pulled away with his face the color of crimson and hurried to grab his stuff.
"I got to go Evan, but I'll see you tomorrow? Don't forget to text me the details for Friday." Jonathan said.
"Yeah of course. I'll text you. Bye Jonathan." Evan waved goodbye. Jonathan couldn't help but see a slight disappointment on Evan's face, and immediately Jonathan felt like shit. He hated seeing Evan so sad. It hurt him and Jonathan just wanted to take Evan in his arms and kiss his worries away. But that couldn't happen. Jonathan knew Evan didn't feel the same way, and that Evan just wanted to be friends. As Jonathan walked out of the slim hallway his phone buzzed.
Luke- Yo jonathan u wanna hang out after school? We haven't talked in so long
Jonathan- u just saw me 30 minutes ago xD but yeah lets neflix and chill
Luke- gross jon and you know what I mean buttface
Jonathan- Ye I do but I just like fucking with u :)))))))
Luke- fuck u!
Jonathan- you love me
Luke- hmmmmmmm
Luke- maybeeeee ;)
Jonathan- Just meet me in the junior lot after school ok? I also need to talk to u about shit
Luke- OOOoOOooOo gossip!
Jonathan- nerd
Luke- butt
Jonathan- :'( my heart
Luke-hhaha I gtg rn but ill talk to u later nerd
Jonathan- aight fam talk to u later buttface
Jonathan then put away his phone and prepared for another 90 minutes in hell. When he entered his classroom he sat down and went into a slouched position. He plugged his earphones and played his 'car jams' playlist. The first song that came up was Dark Paradise by Lana Del Ray. 'Oh how appropriate. Just what I need, a song about not being able to have some and wanting to fucking kill themselves. How fitting.' Jonathan thought to himself. He then decided to put on his current favorite album and buried his head into his crossed arms, fitting nicely in his cocoon.
A/N: If you want to you can put on Beach Houses album 'Bloom' if you want to, but honestly it doesn't really have to do with the story, but It's a really nice calming album and I highly recommend it.
Against his efforts, Jonathan couldn't stop thinking about Evan. Hell; he was about to kiss him. He was literally saved by the bell. 'What the fuck am I going to do? I can't just go out and say: "hey Evan, Jonathan here. The same Jonathan that you met literally 2 days ago. Oh and by the way I'm half in love with you. Hope you cool with that." Like fuck no. It would ruin everything and he's fucking straight. He's so fucking straight it's not even funny. And look at me! The closeted gay guy who can't seem to get over himself and just fucking come out. The same guy who's a fucking worthless piece of shit. Fucking fantastic.' Jonathan ranted to himself. And what sucked the most? It took a lot for Jonathan to like someone, romantically and sexually. But when he did, he could almost never have them, and that hit him, hard.
Jonathan could hear the muffled voice of his teacher talking, but he honestly couldn't care less. He was too busy thinking about Evan, as usual. But it didn't really matter anyway: it was a bullshit class. So it wasn't unusual for Jonathan to not pay attention. Hell; He rarely ever did. After what seemed like an eternity the bell rang. Jonathan really just didn't want to deal with school and he knew he wouldn't be able to get through the day with having a mental breakdown. Like usual Jonathan was in a really shitty place, and it was even shittier with the whole Evan situation added to the mix.
Before Jonathan knew it he was in Ms. Carroll's classroom and saying hello to her. He grabbed his teapot and got to work. After about 5 minutes, the rest of the period's students were filling up the classroom. No one really took any notice to Jonathan, for students often skipped class to be in ceramics. And Ms. Carroll didn't really mind either; she actually encouraged it, well, mostly to the people who were in a bad palce, and some of the really dedicated ones too. She knew many people depended on ceramics class to get through the day, and she let them be.
Jonathan plugged his earphones back in, and again let himself be soaked in the calming music flowing into his ears. He went into his own little world where nothing matters, and there was nothing going on beside the music. When he was alone and noticed nothing from the outside world. He focused on his piece and worked on the structure of his teapot. After what seemed like a mere 30 minutes of slipping and scoring, blending and molding, the bell for the afternoon news show rang, breaking the barrier between Jonathan's world and the outside. Jonathan then wrapped his piece and cleaned up. After waiving goodbye to Ms. Carroll, he left the room and walked towards the exit and started walking towards Erin's car in the Junior Lot. By the time he got there, the bell rang, and Erin greeted him with a simple 'hey' when Jonathan entered the car and sat in the front seat.
"Oh Erin, Luke's coming over so can we wait for him? It won't be long. He knows the way." Jonathan asked Erin, pleaded almost. Erin sighed and nodded his head. Two longs minutes later Luke got into the car, greeted by both Jonathan and Erin. Jonathan plugged in his phone and put on music, jamming out with his brother. Luke sang along, he had known Jonathan and Erin for years, and they were quite familiar with themselves.
When the car was parked in the driveway, Luke and Jonathan dashed out of the minivan, and thanked Erin on the way. Once they entered Luke and Jonathan's room Luke feel onto Jonathan's twin bed and sat there for a moment in comfortable silence while Jonathan got his stuff together. When Jonathan sat on the bed, Luke sprang up, opening his mouth to get down to business.
"Jonathan do you want to talk about earlier? If don't want to we can play games and shit. I won't pry." Luke asked with concern and warmth to his voice. Jonathan sighed.
"Yeah. I do actually. It's been on my mind for awhile and I need to vent."
"Shoot man. I'm always here."
"Okay. You know Evan Fong right?" Jonathan asked. Luke had a puzzled look on his face, indicating he didn't.
"He's in my swim group? Tan, Asian, buff as fuck?"
"Oh yeah! I know who you're talking about. What about him?"
"It's just that… I really like him, and it's infuriating because I can't have him but he's just so fucking amazing and I want to be his friend, but I also want to be more than that." Jonathan vented with a mix frustration and sadness. Luke sighed. It hurt him a lot to see his best friend in pain.
"How do you know you can't have him?"
"He's straight. I mean he hasn't told me yet personally, but have you seen him? A total ladies man."
"Jon, you don't know that. Don't give up all hope on a simple assumption. Who knows? He could be a sucking dick all day everyday for all we know? Luke joked, trying to lighten the mood. Jonathan laughed, and felt a little better.
"Maybe. Gay until proven straight, am I right?"
"Gay until proven straight." Luke confirmed. Pulling Jonathan into a big bear hug.
"Luke… Let go… of me I can't… breathe" Jonathan pleaded while gasping for air. Luke finality let go and Jonathan played dead.
"Oh no! Jonathan! My brother! NOOOOO!" Luke played along, attempting to hide his laughter. Jonathan broke and erupted in a huge maniacal laughter. Holding out his arm, Luke pulled up Jonathan, putting his arm on his shoulder.
"Come on dead man, lets go play Mario kart." Luke said while walking with Jonathan to the door."
"You gonna be a dead man after I'm done with you bitch!" Jonathan teased while running down the hallway.
"Fight me bitch! I'll fucking cut a bitch!" Luke retaliated, running after Jonathan.
"Oh no you won't! I'll get you first bitch! I call Luigi!" Jonathan chanted yelled at the top of his lungs."
"Oh not you don't! Come 'ere Bitch!" Luke ran down into the basement.
And with that Jonathan felt well, and happy. And the rest of the day was filled with laughter and happiness. Wish you could say the same for Evan.