I wake up wrapped up in Tobias' arms and I wish that we could stay like this forever. If I keep my eyes closed long enough I can flash back to a time where everything is back to normal. Where this is real…where he knows me…like the way he did before. But I can't keep up the fake dream in my mind for much longer. The longer that I keep my eyes closed, the longer that I know that this isn't real and everything is not okay. Nothing is the same and I know better. I may not know why or how or who is behind this, but at least I'm alive. I have to open my eyes because I have a life to live. We have things to do and a training session to plan. I let out a deep sigh before tossing the covers from me. I try to move from the bed, but Tobias' arm tightens around me, pulling me against him.

"Where are you going?" he murmurs against the back of my neck.

"We have to get up," I answer.

He shakes his head and moves his lips down to my shoulder, kissing me softly. "No we don't," he says. "Five minutes."

I raise my eyebrows and move in his arms to pin them to his sides. "Five minutes?" I ask teasingly. "Someone's confident."

He looks up at me in surprise and then in the next few seconds he flips our bodies and is hovering above me. My breath catches in my throat and I feel my body shake against his. I don't think that I'm ready for this. I've done this before, but with a different Tobias, in a different time.

"I can go longer than five minutes," Tobias tells me leaning down so that our faces are inches apart.

"Oh, I know," I tell him, my voice comes out like a squeak.

He pulls back, blushing slightly. It had been a game earlier, but now this was serious. "We've…?" he trails off, not wanting to say the words. I wonder if he's embarrassed or something.

I don't know what to say…I sure as hell don't want to tell him the truth. Not yet. Not now. I swallow, licking my lips before shaking my head and fighting my way out of his arms and off of the bed. I grab a jacket and pull it over my head as I head toward the lockers. I hear him get off of the bed and his arm wraps around my wrist, pulling my around to look at him.

"Tris, stop!" He says. I'm facing him, but I don't meet his gaze. I take a breath. "Tris, look at me." I bite my lip and do as he says, my eyes meeting his. He lifts a hand and brushes against my cheek. "What's going on, baby?"

I lift my shoulders in a shrug. "Everything is the same for me," I tell him. "I know everything, I know you…I remember our life together, but you…you don't."

He shakes his head. "But I want to," he says, his voice soft as he looks at me. I can't stop the tears, I don't want to cry, but I don't remember hurting this much…ever. Not even when Peter beat me into a concussion. "It kills me seeing you like this, Tris," he says. "You're miserable and it's my fault."

"It's not…"

"It is," he says. "Even if it's not directly my fault, I'm associated with it. I may not be the same guy that you know…but I'm here…and I want to be with you. I hope that I can remember you one day, the life that we had together…but for now, this is all we have. And I'm okay with that. But I don't want you to suffer because it's not what you want. I am here, Tris. And I'm not going anywhere."

I blink away the tears and I lick my lips before pulling my hands from his so that I can wrap them around him. I rest my head against his chest and my heartbeat slows to its normal speed as I feel him breathe out a sigh of relief. He strokes my hair and we stand there together for a few moments before I finally pull away. He lets me move, but keeps his hands on my waist.

"Can I trust you not to run?" he asks me.

"Can I trust you to stay?" I counter.

He narrows his eyes at me and lifts his hand and shows me the raven that he got last night. "In case you don't remember," he says. "This is you. And you're always going to be a part of me. Whether you like it or not, I'm sticking around. For good. You can't push me away. Understand?"

I nod and stand on my toes to kiss him. It's soft and gentle and I don't want it to end. But the life that we're living, it's happening around us. I pull away and smile up at him. "I love you," I tell him.

And there it is. It slips past my lips before I even have a chance to brace myself for it. It's out there in the open and three words have never seemed quite as big as those do, hanging in the air between us. He looks confused for a second, like he's not quite sure that I've said it, but after a moment, he realizes what it was, and a grin takes the place of the puzzling expression on his face. "I love you."

He pulls me in for another kiss. This time it isn't sweet, or gentle…it's just passion. Pure and unadulterated passion. This is a side of Tobias that I know. He lifts me up into his arms, and moves us across the room. My back hits the wall and I let out a soft moan against his lips. I wrap my legs around him to hold on; not that I'm afraid of him dropping me, I just need something to grab onto and Tobias is the best thing for that. My fingers move up to tangle in his hair and I let out a gasp as his lips brush against my neck and he steps in against me pressing his entire body against mine. I can feel how much he wants me and it matches the way I feel about him.

I move my hands to run down his bare back and he pulls away from me, setting me down on the floor. "What's wrong?" I ask him, my breath uneven as my lungs hurry to refill.

He shakes his head and takes a step away from me running his fingers through his hair. "Nothing," he says. "Everything's perfect. You're perfect."

I can't help but smile at that. "Then why'd you stop?" I ask leaning back against the wall as I look at him.

He smiles. "Because you may remember this," he says gesturing between the two of us. "But I don't. And I don't want it to be rushed. I want it to matter."

I tilt my head to the side and smile before crossing to him and kissing his cheek. "You're amazing, you know that?"

"I'm starting to figure that out," he tells me with a grin.

I nod at him. "Okay…you should probably take a cold shower?" I ask glancing down at him and all he does is grin. "And then we can go down to the Pit."

"Deal," He kisses me again before he walks away toward the bathroom.

I wait until he is gone from view before I slide down to the floor. It's him…it's always been him. It doesn't matter what he remembers or what he doesn't. This is Tobias Eaton…and he's the love of my life.

4