Kana's hand threaded its way through soft brown hair, her fingertips ghosting over the shoulder of the sleeping boy draped over her body. "When do you think we should go back?" she whispered, not wanting to speak too loudly for the boys' sakes.

A tender smile graced Itachi's face as he turned his head to look at her, "I wouldn't mind staying just a little while longer." He raised an eyebrow when he looked at Neji, "He sure loves that hair of yours, doesn't he?" the boy added as an afterthought.

She peered down at the toddler, who had Kana's hair bunched up in his tiny fist with the ends in his mouth, "I think the fact that it changes color fascinates him," she murmured. Kana dropped her head back onto the grass and sighed happily, "I'm glad they got along today."

It was Itachi's turn to look down at the sleeping boy that was nestled into the crook of his arm with an expression that could only be described as complete adoration, "It would be good for them to have a close friend by the time they entered the academy," he agreed, "Neji's a bit shy, but they're both happy children. I'm sure they will become fast friends."

Sasuke stirred and lifted his head just long enough to blink his large, bleary eyes up at his brother before giving a content sigh and snuggling closer into his side. Neji remained asleep despite the conversation, drooling happily all over Kana's chunin vest while he lightly snored away.

The sight must have amused Itachi, because he chuckled lightly as the pool of darkened fabric slowly expanded. Kana resisted the urge to join him, not wanting to disturb the toddler that was so obviously wiped out from a day of picnics and playing various games. "He's so perfect," she murmured as she brushed a stray lock of hair from his face. Just looking at Neji was enough to make her heart swell; she loved him so much that it hurt sometimes.

"Will you promise me something?" she asked quietly.

"Anything," was Itachi's immediate response as he looked up from the sleeping baby in his arms.

Kana looked up at the darkening sky. Clouds were stretched into thin ribbons across a blanket of deep purples and reds, accented by a twinge of blue as twilight began to approach. "If something were to ever happen to me… I want you to take care of him, Tachi," her gaze returned to her friend, "Keep him safe for me."

The hand that wasn't rubbing Sasuke's back reached over to hers, his fingertips brushing along the palm of Kana's hand before lightly tracing up to the pads of her fingers and squeezing gently.

"I promise. Will you promise me something, then?"

A knowing smile graced Kana's seven year-old lips, "Of course."

"If something were to happen to me, you'll protect Sasuke no matter what," he whispered.

She curled her fingers up and danced the tips over Itachi's palm, pinching his fingertips lightly, "I promise."

When Kana awoke, there was a moment of panic when she realized that she couldn't see; that panic was only amplified by the cold empty feel of the bed she was resting in. It took her nearly a full minute to remember what had transpired, that her blindness was basically self-induced.

As much as she wanted to stay in bed and sleep away the depression and worry, as well as her body's weakness, Kana rolled over to the edge of the bed and slid off of the mattress to slowly kneel on the floor. She pushed herself up onto shaky legs and slowly lurched towards her dad's dresser, knowing that if he had laid any clothes out for her then they would be resting atop the furniture.

Yep, just as she suspected, Kana's fingers found the familiar feel of her uniform neatly folded on top of the wood dresser, smelling of detergent and softener, after a couple moments of fumbling around. With her arms quivering as much as they were she could only manage to slide her skin-tight shirt over her body and wiggle on the clean pair of panties over her butt before making her way to the door, suddenly desperate for something to drink.

Thankfully she knew Guy's apartment well enough to only need one hand on the wall to act as a guide as she stumbled down the hall towards where the kitchen was. Though, the more she walked, the more she found herself relying on the wall for support. There was something in her path - maybe a new piece of furniture that she hadn't noticed - and it was there where she tripped and collapsed painfully to the floor.

It was that moment that Kana felt the full weight of everything that had happened in the last few weeks come crashing down on her chest in a single, painful fall. She felt dizzy and sick and weak and so, so tired. The feeling she had the night she had gone to see Sasuke before leaving for the Cloud village wasn't just a bad vibe – it really had been a goodbye. He had made his decision to leave Konoha by then.

'Itachi, please forgive me,' she prayed, 'I failed…'

Her body convulsed with a silent sob as she covered her face with her hands, pressing the tips of her fingers into her eyes until she saw red and yellow novas.

Itachi was dying, Sasuke was going to most likely be killed by Orochimaru, Neji was on life support, Raido and Genma were still dealing with near-fatal injuries, her promotion came from her failing a handful of teammates…

Kana curled in on herself on the wood floor that prodded her bones painfully and trembled against the crushing sensation of failure, of letting down those around her.

As much as she doted on those she cared about, it seemed she was incapable of protecting anyone when it actually mattered - no matter how much she claimed to love someone, Kana was never there for them when they needed her.

And that was the cold, hard truth.

She would never be enough for them.

She was a killer. Her entire being could be boiled down to the word "Murderer."

How could she have ever hoped to be anything other than that?

She hated this. She hated herself.

With practiced familiarity she formed the hand seals for the teleportation jutsu with the hope that Kana possessed enough chakra by this point to get her where she needed to go. Kana needed to be with someone that didn't make her feel like a shinobi. She needed to be with the one person that just made her feel normal.

There was an immediate change in the air and a small popping sound that told her that she did, in fact, have enough chakra, though it only just barely enough.

"Kitten?"

"Oh fuck…"

Genma was to the right, Raido was to the left. Kana rolled onto her knees and pushed herself onto trembling legs, staggering over to where her lover's voice came from. Still only able to see a small flicker of light, her arms reached out and felt the air in front of her, "Rai..."

She could hear fabric rustling and a low groan of pain just before feeling Raido's hands wrap around her own to gently guide her to his bed.

During her first attempt at clambering over the metal rail, Kana slipped and fell down to her knees with a hiss; the only thing that kept her upright was the iron grip the tokujo had on her wrists. "Come on, I've got you," he murmured as she tried again to force her exhausted body onto the hospital bed, "You're almost there."

Arms immediately wrapped around Kana's body when she was in the bed, pulling her flush against her lover's chest, and a small noise that sounded like both a sob and a cough escaped her lips. Raido tightened his hold on her just as she clutched the fabric of his shirt.

Despite the feeling of a dam bursting, Kana was simply too tired to cry as passionately as her emotions demanded; tears flowed from her sightless eyes with pathetic whimpers and coughs that were muffled into silence by Raido's chest instead.

She must have passed out, because she somehow found herself in a bed with no recollection of how she got there. There was a comfortable weight on her shoulder that massaged the muscle there as she stirred. Bleary eyes blinked in a vain attempt at focusing her vision, which had become too dark and blurry for Kana to see more than a flickering light.

It was then that the kunoichi realized she had been wrapped around something, though it took her several long minutes to realize that it was another human being that was pressing gentle kisses into her hair.

"Rai…" she croaked, craning her neck up to look at him, "Where…?"

"You can't see?"

"I overdid it..." Her entire body hurt due to chakra depletion, but her blindness was caused from using her kekkei genkai for too long. Dojutsu always took a toll on the user if they were wielded for too long or too frequently, though Kana hadn't pushed herself this hard in a long time – there was still a screaming headache that threatened to split her head into two.

There was the sound of a book snapping shut – a book that sounded very much like the dirty novels she read until the pages wore away – before Kana felt him take hold of her hand and bring it up to his chest. "I've got more than enough to spare."

She jerked her hand back at the feeling of warm flesh beneath her fingertips, as opposed to Raido's shirt as she had been expecting, out of shock before tentatively prodding his chest to make sure that he was, indeed, shirtless. "Why aren't you wearing… " Kana's fingers skidded over his clavicle and up his neck, where she could feel coarse stubble, "Where is your shirt?"

"What do you think you're wearing?" he asked, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, "You scared the hell out of Guy when you disappeared, and he came here with clothes for you, though..." Raido shifted awkwardly, "Thankfully the girl with buns said she'd bring you your things so you didn't have to wear one of those - I quote - god awful jumpsuits."

Yeah, that'd be Tenten. To be fair, she used to wear those jumpsuits – though hers was black. She still technically wore it, too, even if it was sleeveless and legless. Considering Guy was nearly twice her size, though, Kana doubted it would make her look anything more than wrinkled bok choy. She squirmed experimentally, feeling the loose fabric move against her skin, and noticed how the sleeves felt bunched up around her biceps; whoever dressed her must have rolled up the ends for her.

"You didn't have to do that…" she mumbled, trying to push herself up onto her elbows.

Her hand was pulled back to his chest, "As weak as you are, the last thing you need is to be sleeping just that thin Anbu shirt," he said warmly, "Now take some of my chakra before you make yourself worse."

Kana shook her head and tried to withdraw her hand, but it was held firmly in place and she was too exhausted to put much effort into her movements, "You know I hate-"

"I'm offering."Raido 's tone was gentle, but had a sense of finality to it. Even so, the idea of using her chakra absorption technique on someone she cared about left her feeling squicked. It was something she only ever used on opponents either to finish them off, or weaken them enough so that they could be interrogated. Using it on a comrade – never mind someone she held a mutual, wholly trust with like Raido – felt more than wrong.

There was a growing warmth beneath her palm that caused the man's breathing to hitch. "Just a little," she shamefully mumbled.

"It's alright, kitten, take as much as you need. I'll be okay."

Kana squeezed her unseeing eyes shut, hating how good even the tiny stream of chakra felt as it traveled up her arm and pooled in her chest as Raido so obviously was struggling to keep his breathing regular for her sake. This wasn't a comfortable experience for the person on the other end; that much she knew.

When she no longer felt as if her arms and legs were completely made of lead, her hand slid down to Raido 's hip with a gratuitous sigh, "Thank you, Rairai." Kana wouldn't be able to turn that chakra into healing chakra to help her eyes at all, due to the whole fact she had been blinded due to mild chakra burn, but having her levels slowly being replenished eased some of her headache and soothed some of Kana's rigid muscles.

The hand on her shoulder moved up to her head and began to rub gentle circles. "Of course," he murmured, "Just get some rest."

It was all of the encouragement she needed. No longer suffering from skull-splitting pain, Kana curled back into Raido's body and allowed sleep to claim her.

"…Give… Three…"

"Need two…"

"…Good."

Kana's back was stiff, that was the first thing she noticed when her mind began drifting into consciousness. The second was that her throat felt as if it had been completely sucked dry of any moisture and then glued shut. When her eyes fluttered open, the third thing was that Kana could finally see.

A small, hoarse sound squeezed past her sore throat just before she picked her head up off of the pillow.

"Welcome back, lady," she heard Genma say, his grin almost audible.

Propping herself up on her elbow with one arm and rubbing her face with the other, Kana looked towards where his voice had come from – her vision was still blurry from sleep, and the light seemed to shine particularly bright through the window, but she could still see through her fingers that he was sitting on the floor with Kotetsu, Izumo and the tokujos playing some sort of card game.

Raido set his hand on the floor and stood up to walk towards the bed, "Hey, kitten, you doing okay?"

"Water?" was all she could croak, twisting around towards the bed table and removing her hand to look for a shape that may resemble a cup or glass. Shit, she'd drink fucking IV fluid by this point if it kept her throat from grinding itself into sawdust.

Anko reached into the long jacket she wore and tossed something small, round and metal at Kana, who caught it with deft hands despite not looking in her direction; it was a canteen. She quickly unscrewed the cap and brought the spout to her lips, almost whimpering at the beautiful sensation of the cool liquid splashing against her tongue – when was the last time she actually had something to drink? Surely it was before she had gotten back to the village.

In the back of her mind Kana knew that she should probably take it slow and drink the water in sips, but in that moment she knew that there was no way she could do anything other than gulp down the water that washed away the parched feeling left by Suna's desert.

A small line of water dribbled down her chin when she finally had to pull the canteen away in a desperate need for air, and she could practically feel Raido's eyes looking down at her with worry when he kissed the top of her head. "How long as I asleep?" she asked a little too breathlessly.

"Um… About a day and a half," Genma answered, "Rough mission?"

Screwing the cap back on, Kana chucked the metal container back at the woman, "Eh, it wasn't rough. I just really hate the desert. Thanks, Anko." Truth be told, she hated just about any environment that wasn't similar to the Land of Fire's gentle warm forests. "What are you guys playing?"

"Hold 'Em, wanna play – holy shit, Gen, you weren't kidding."

She narrowed her eyes at the group, who were all gaping at her in astonishment – with the exception of Genma, who shrugged, and Anko, who looked impressed. "You weren't kidding, what, Genma?" she asked threateningly.

Honestly, Kana was expecting someone to tell her that Raido had allowed his friend to draw something stupid on her face, but Genma actually looked genuinely confused at her tone. "Hey now, I didn't do anything. I told them about how your eyes have changed, that's all."

"What are you-"

A revelation hit Kana like a ton of bricks, cutting her off before she could finish asking what the hell the tokujo was talking about. Itachi's illness, Neji's near-death experience, Sasuke's betrayal… Her temporary blindness, lasting longer than it normally did, and her eyes feeling too sensitive to a normal amount of light. "I need a mirror," she demanded.

Aoba raised an eyebrow, "Yeah let me just pull out the mirror I always carry around with me," he drawled, "While we're at it, wanna borrow my lipstick?"

Izumo scolded the tokujo, but Kana didn't pay attention to what he actually said as she whipped her head around to scan the room for anything that had a reflective surface.

"Ahh, god dammit! Anko, I hate you!" Kotetsu suddenly whined, throwing his hand down onto the linoleum. Anko only laughed and ran a hand through her spiky bangs, looking as smug as all hell.

Izumo raised an eyebrow and grinned at his best friend's pout before placing his hand on the floor in a neat stack, "Fold."

Genma followed suit, and Aoba's smug grin turned to one of victory when Raido waved his hand in dismissal at the group, clearly more interested in the dark-haired woman that was climbing over the edge of the bed.

"Hey, where ya goin'?" Anko asked casually as she scooped the cards together and began to shuffle the deck, "You just woke up! Hang out for a bit before you run off in your underwear."

'Oh, yeah,' Kana looked down at her body at Anko's reminder, blinking stupidly at her bare legs. Where were her pants, again?

As if reading her mind, Raido pulled a familiar bag out from under the bed and handed it towards her, "The girl with two pigtail bun things brought this for you," he explained, "Said something about how she's going to start charging you a delivery fee."

Kana quickly opened up the backpack and rifled through it – if the genin had packed the same things as last time, there should be a small handheld mirror in the front pocket…

'Yes!' She prayed her thanks to Tenten for being consistent as she pulled the mirror out by the handle and brought it up to her face to find an unfamiliar gaze peering back at her.

As her vision cleared, Kana could see that her irises had changed hue completely – the bright, almost pastel green was replaced by a piercingly bright silver-white that glowed faintly, ringed with black that almost snaked into the white like electrified clouds.

She grinned wryly as a silver lining joke tickled at the back of her consciousness; Kana put the mirror back into the bag after spending a few solid minutes just staring at the swirling glow. There was something else she wanted to test, so the kunoichi looked up at Raido's expectant gaze and activated her dojutsu.

Her world exploded.

Kana must have cried out, because every shinobi in the room sprung to their feet and formed a tight circle around her with varying looks of genuine worry.

And she could see everything.

As her eyes focused on each pair that stared back at her, Kana could read everything that was going through their heads. She could see all of their memories, anything they had envisioned and feel every sense they felt – smells, touches, sounds… Kana could experience it all.

The world fluctuated again, and she could see the entirety of their chakra pathway systems and count every single one of their 361 tenketsu. Not just with them, either, but with every living being in the village.

Kana moaned against the dizzying sensation, deactivating her eyes and stumbling forward before falling to her knees and dry heaving. She braced herself on her forearms and dropped her head forward, eyes screwed shut.

"Kana?" Raido kneeled down and placed a hand on her trembling back, "Kitten?"

"Her eyes looked different, right?" she heard Aoba ask, "They weren't just black like normal?"

The kunoichi took a deep breath before clutching the hand her lover was holding out for her and sitting back on her heels. "Sorry," she mumbled, "That wasn't my smartest move."

"You… Wanna tell us what just happened?" Izumo sounded almost shaken as he spoke.

Rubbing her eyes with her free hand, Kana stood up and gave the group a sheepish grin, "I fully unlocked my kekkei tota."

All six shinobi only blinked at her, obviously confused, and she awkwardly shifted her weight to her other foot beneath their expectant gazes.

"You know how there are different forms of a kekkei genkai?" When they nodded, almost in unison, she continued, "Well, there's a sort of… I guess "Advanced" form of a kekkei genkai called a kekkei tota. My clan members are born with the Kurogan, which allows us to see chakra signatures and across great distances. But my chakra-" Kana focused her chakra so that it enveloped her hand, changing its shape as she spoke, "-is our kekkei tota. There are two halves to it. One for yin release, and one for yang. You know, that mind and body shit."

To display the yang version, she released the black chakra and focused on the new feeling. It was light and airy and bright, as opposed to the dark fiery sensation Kana felt when concentrating on the chakra she had been born with. A small white glimmer appeared in her hand, and she morphed it into chakra claws; there was the same tinkling sound Kana had heard when she was sparring with Kakashi.

"The process is kind of weird, but we use a type of senjutsu to manipulate the chakra, but this type isn't used the same? It's difficult to explain. And since I gained the yang chakra, I gained a kind of variant to my Kurogan. Like how the Sharingan and Byakugan have advanced forms, with the Mangekyo and Tenseigan," she explained, "I can see a lot more now. It was really overwhelming, because I don't know how to control it. I need to get the hang of it before using it like- oh my god-"

Kana released the dancing light in her hand and gave Raido and Genma a guilty expression, "I didn't even ask if you two are doing okay – shit – I am so sorry - I am such a self centered…"

Genma almost instantaneously burst into a fit of laughter with Anko and Raido, though Kotetsu and Aoba looked too overwhelmed to do more than nervously chuckle along with them. Izumo smiled fondly and shook his head.

"I…" Raido laughed, "You're amazing, you know that? You really are."

She gave him a questioning look that was immediately hidden by his chest as Kana was pulled into a strong embrace. Instead of asking him to elaborate, she only smiled and returned the hug, placing feather-light kisses along the bicep that was next to her face as she did.

"We're fine, lady," Genma assured her, senbon clicking against his teeth with each syllable, "We get discharged in a couple of days. So you don't need to worry about us. We're big boys."

"Emphasis on big," Kotetsu snickered.

Visions of the night the group shared together flew through Kana's mind, and she was glad that her reddening face was hidden by Raido's body – and thankful for the sound of Izumo slapping the absolute shit out of Kotetsu as he cackled at his sophomoric joke.

Anko groaned at the reminder of the sight of the group lying on her guest room floor in a pile of naked limbs.

She knew that the night had been something like an affirmation of their friendship, experiencing each other in a way that only true, honest friends could. It was something Kana was grateful for in a sense, but she really didn't think now was the time to start making jokes about it; not when people like Anko and Aoba were around. Still... She smiled into Raido's bicep.

Kana would be okay.

Her friends were here.

It was a pleasant night in the Anbu headquarters, Kana decided warmly as she looked back down at her copy of Icha Icha Pooltime. It was a gift from Raido, who had been blushing so hard that he looked like a tomato that was about to burst, and it had kept her occupied for most of the evening.

"So then Misha is all but crucified to the damn wall by senbon, and – I shit you not – started giggling like a schoolboy because one of them was in some sensitive pressure point," Tento explained, his arms waving around as if he was telling a legendary tale, "And when we're finally done busting our asses trying to take these guys out, he gets a boner!"

There was a round of astonished laughter from the group of ten or so, with one of the newest recruits looking as if he was going to piss himself right then and there.

"Man, you're so full of shit," Imai derided, "There's no way-"

"No, no, I'm serious! He got turned on by being tickled!" Tento turned eager blue eyes to Kana, who was pretending to not notice, "Captain! Come on, you were there, you tell them!"

She only chuckled and smiled, shrugging, "Sorry, I don't remember," she lied. Misha actually had gotten an erection from being tickled, but Kana was having too much fun watching the man get more and more flustered as he tried to back up his claims.

As her eyes scanned the faces around her, the kunoichi decided she was glad she chose to not get a new apartment.

Tento punched Imai in the shoulder.

Kana looked down at her book again.

She was really glad.

There was an oppressive air that surrounded the Shimi manor, and it always made Kana's muscles tense whenever she approached the elaborately decorated gate. Neji offered to come with her – for moral support, if nothing else – but even after two weeks he was still too injured to move around comfortably; Kana didn't want to put a strain on him just because her biological family gave her the heebie jeebies.

In an attempt to not have to speak to anyone, she swiftly jumped up to a roof and suppressed her chakra signature as best as she could before taking off at full sprint. Family be damned, Kana just wanted to get the scrolls she needed and get the hell out without having to deal with anyone. The last thing she felt like experiencing was one of the family elders' fake enthusiasm.

The kunoichi dropped to the ground as silently as the loose rock would allow her, distributing her weight to her hands and knees and focusing chakra to them as to reduce some of the noise. She stood before the small shrine, which was even more elaborately decorated as the compound gate, with a bizarre variation of their clan symbol where the cloud was in the center of an eight-pointed star. According to the elders, it was supposed to be their clan symbol merged with the Otsutsuki Clan insignia

It was a pretty sight, Kana had to give it that much. While the Hyugas focused more on fancy and tedious rituals, the Shimi clan seemed to always emphasize on the actual appearance of those rituals. No matter how macabre they were.

She channeled a bit of chakra to her hand and held it up to the center of the door, where the large cloud emblem began to glow white and black in response. Seeing something glow while still being black was still a sight that came off as unnatural, even after wielding black chakra since she was a child – it just looked bizarre when it was an object and not energy.

When the double doors unlocked she slid through the small crack with practiced swiftness and silently closed them behind her, using both of her hands to keep the doors from shutting too quickly and alerting anyone of her presence.

If there was an oppressive feel outside of the shrine, inside was unbearably so. Flashes to her childhood sent a shiver down her spine, and Kana couldn't help but wonder how the daimyo and Hokage allowed the clan to get away with as much morbid shit as they did.

Sandals made clacking noises that echoed off of the smooth surface of the lacquered walls and furniture as she made her way towards the ornate altar directly across from the entrance. Her objective was the set of scrolls and tome placed along the table, but she couldn't help but allow her glowing eyes to drift to the walls and prayer-like mats in a self-destructive curiosity.

There were grandiosely decorated masks of varying types hanging from the wall, all placed in order of importance with the one on top bringing a sick feeling to Kana's stomach. It was a mask carved from onyx trimmed with platinum, with a platinum Otsutsuki insignia in the center and a cloud of the same creation just slightly to the side. What made it particularly disturbing, though, was the pair of diamond stakes set in each eyehole.

Even though she was only seeing the front of the mask, Kana knew that there was centuries-old dried blood on the end of those spikes. It was an old Shimi belief that those born with the kekkei tota was possessed by their earliest ancestor, Kana Otsutsuki, who had become a demon spirit, and that only one member of the family could have it at one time because of this. Apparently the spirit lived in their eyes, so when the host became too old to participate in combat anymore, they went through a grueling ritual that ended with their eyes being gouged out by that mask and the name "Kana" being stripped away. Blood was never wiped away; it was left so that the spirits of past hosts could comfort the current victim.

Of course it was total bullshit – the bloodline trait was simply extremely rare – but it was something that the clan firmly believed it to be true. The fact that they were going to make an attempt to impose this fate on Kana one day, if she didn't die in battle first, made her sick to her stomach.

These people were twisted.

She set her backpack on the meticulously maintained shrine floor and carefully slipped the heavy tome through the opening – as much as she hated her people, Kana couldn't bring herself to treat the ancient text as anything other than a precious relic and fully intended to return it once she had created a transcript of the book in its entirety.

The five scrolls were gingerly placed into separate cloth pouches before reuniting with the tome, and the kunoichi quickly closed the backpack and slung it over her shoulders. Kana desperately wanted to get out of the shrine, finding it harder to breathe the longer she stayed. It didn't help that the ornate building was created with chakra-infused wood, created by the First Hokage's wood release technique, so she couldn't see outside its walls. As dust free and perfectly maintained everything was, Kana knew that the shrine experienced frequent traffic.

With her head kept down so as to avoid looking at the rest of the room, she swiftly made her way through the double doors-

And straight into one of the Shimi elders.

"Did you really think we wouldn't know that the shrine had been opened?" the wrinkled old man scolded.

Kana froze in place at the sight of her grandfather, speechless.

"Ah, you have awoken your Ishikigan," he noted with an approving nod, "I assume you're here for the texts?"

For the life of her, the kunoichi simply couldn't find the words to convey her thoughts; she simply stood stock-still as if he was a bear that would eventually lose interest.

"You know, you really should request for Mistress Akira to assist you in honing your technique, Kana. It would be much more effective than stealing from the shrine and attempting to learn on your own."

"I was gonna bring them back…" she mumbled stupidly, eyes looking everywhere but at his withered old face, "I was just… Borrowing them, is all."

Her father's father gave her a disapproving look through his milky eyes, blind after decades of his use of the Kurogan, and adjusted his grip on the cane he held in his gnarled hand, "You are our clan's pride and joy, why will you not allow us to assist you where we can? Mistress Akira only has a few years left and still has so much she can teach you-"

"You know damn well why I don't want to deal with you people," Kana snapped angrily, "Now get out of my way."

After all of the horrible, gruesome shit the clan performed for the sake of tradition and rituals, Kana still felt the burn of shame bloom in her chest when the old man's shoulders sagged in defeat before he moved to the side. Her clan had a bizarre and detached relationship with both the village and themselves, but he was still the only legitimate family she had left – even if he was the reason Kana didn't have any more.

She kept her shoulders squared as she rushed past her grandfather, mumbling something about how she'll return the scrolls in a week or so. As much as she wanted to jump over the exterior wall and just get out of the compound, Kana found herself walking towards the door when the old man asked her to at least take the front door this time.

Paintings decorated the walls of the manor, all traditional-style and all placed in ornate frames. Those who weren't born with the kekkei tota adopted the Shimi's Art Technique, where they created art infused with their chakra – paintings, sketches, clay or any other art form – and used it in battle. Each Shimi that mastered the art form by their standards was given the privilege of creating an art piece to hang on the walls of the main house. Those who made it into a special forces unit such as Anbu or the Hokage Guard Platoon had their piece hung in the main hall.

Those who couldn't master the technique or were born without the Kurogan were exiled from the clan so, instead of the paintings bringing a sense of camaraderie, they only made Kana wonder how many of their people had been kicked from the estate.

A number of clan members stopped to bow as she made her way through the labyrinth of a mansion, most being too afraid to look her straight in the eyes due to the mumbo jumbo about her being possessed by a demon. So when she finally stepped through the front door and stepped into the courtyard, Kana breathed a deep sigh of relief and nearly sprinted for the gate.

She couldn't wait to get back to the barracks.

"You know that if I get this right, I'll be able to see everything," Kana murmured, sitting directly across from Kakashi and Inoichi Yamanaka.

Her silver haired friend gave her a smile that felt awkward and fake even from behind his mask; it was the one that he gave in public with people he wasn't entirely close with and it kind of creeped her out. "You've pretty much heard everything," he drawled, pushing his forehead protector up to reveal his Sharingan, "Though I do want to see how this works, even if I can't actually copy it."

"Now the trick with infiltrating someone's mind is to already know what kind of information you're looking for," Inoichi explained, "Otherwise you're going to be fumbling around and won't be able to find any direction. So pick a subject or memory type and search for it."

As if sensing her uneasiness, Kakashi reached out and squeezed her hands reassuringly, his expression turning to that of a genuine smile. Kana ignored the butterflies fluttering up a storm in her stomach and focused her white chakra to activate her Ishikigan, focusing on memories of herself. That felt safe.

Both jonin gasped at the sensation; Kana felt as if her mind had been plunged into some sort of pool of ice water with a broken leg as she struggled to keep her concentration. As much as she wanted to focus on herself, barely being able to feel a trail amidst the hurricane of memories, Kana could also hear and feel Kakashi's current thoughts and feelings. She could feel the callouses on her fingers through his touch.

She heard herself groan at the disorienting sensation as she forced herself to focus.

There. Kana saw a memory of herself appear and latched onto it, pulling it to the forefront of Kakashi's consciousness. It was when she was on an intelligence mission with Kakashi when she was eleven years old.

"Are you sure you don't want anymore?" she asked, offering up a cooked squirrel on a stick. Kana's face was hidden behind the fox mask that was a little too big for her face, but her bright green eyes shone brightly from behind the eye holes.

Kana watched in first person as Kakashi waved his hand, "No, you have it. I'm full," he lied, faking a cough to cover up the rumbling in his stomach.

'I knew you were lying,' she thought wryly, smiling inwardly at the sense of fondness she felt in Kakashi's chest as her teenaged self tore a piece of the squirrel off and tucked it under her mask, 'Even then you were a softy.'

'Only for you, sweetheart.'

The woman knew she was blushing and decided to pull out of the memory to search for a new one. It was definitely easier the second time around, as Kana quickly was able to find the night that the man first took his mask off in front of her – the night that Guy had captured in a photograph.

Kakashi was almost insurmountably nervous next to the child that was trying to stealthily sneak scraps to Tomodachi, who had his head in her lap. Ten year old Kana shoveled a large scoop of kaisendon into her mouth, narrowing her eyes questioningly at Kakashi when she caught him staring for the fifth time that night.

"Do I have something on my face?" she asked, causing the jonin's stomach to twist.

Struggling to keep his hands from shaking, Kakashi picked up some eel with his chopsticks and deftly slipped it beneath his mask, "Just hoping you don't make my dog fat, is all."

Kana's already large eyes widened at the realization of her being caught, and her pale skin flushed in embarrassment. She sheepishly looked over at Guy, who was giving her a disapproving look.

"Kana, what did I tell you about feeding animals?" he chided.

"But he's not just an animal!" the child protested, "He's a ninja dog! He can talk and wears sunglasses!"

Kakashi chuckled at how she categorized Tomodachi from other dogs based off of what they wore, watching the two go back and forth over the issue while he stealthily ate his dinner

"I feed Hanako human food and she's fine! And I've seen senpai feed Pakkun whole steaks!" Kana whined, "Why can't I give Tomodachi some of my food?"

Guy leaned back in his chair and folded his arms over his broad chest, "Do you know if dogs can even have edamame?"

She deadpanned, "Y-yes…"

Kakashi fought the urge to laugh at her blatant lie, and failed miserably when the girl shriveled under the knowing look Guy was giving her. He looked down at his unadon when both parties shot him an offended glare, both clearly waiting for him to pick a side. Nope. Not happening. Kakashi was going to stay the hell out of this one.

The man chuckled audibly, causing Kana to grin as well. 'When was the last time you called me senpai?' he purred.

'Probably when I kicked your ass in a sparring match,' she laughed inwardly, 'Because you were too busy worrying about getting the new Icha Icha volume.' Her mirth faltered when she saw the scene from her perspective for a brief moment; she needed to concentrate.

As the pair settled down and slipped back into a casual discussion, that anxiety welled up in the pit of Kakashi's stomach again. The little girl sitting next to him was the only person never to ask about his mask or his face, but the sense of worry gnawed at a huge part of his consciousness as he worked up the courage to pull his mask down. What if she told? What if she was disappointed?

'Oh for the love of god, Kashi,' Kana rolled her eyes inwardly.

Before he could talk himself out of it, Kakashi hooked his index and middle finger under the top of his mask and tugged it down so that it was bunched around the base of his neck. His heart raced as the seconds ticked by, each one feeling inexplicably longer than the last while he tried to act casual and eat his food.

It took three minutes and fifty-two seconds for Kana to finally look up, mouth opening as if to ask him a question, when she promptly began to choke. The kid had a bad habit of shoveling way too much food into her mouth, and worry for her pushed his petty nervousness to the side as she struggled to dislodge whatever had gotten stuck in her throat.

Even when Guy clapped her firmly on the back, those stunned eyes never left Kakashi's face-

Kana could only think about how handsome he looked, and tried to fight against the urge to reach out and touch the newly exposed flesh-

The woman hummed her disapproval and concentrated on Kakashi's side of the memory.

He held his breath as a small hand lifted from the table to tentatively touch his cheek, fingertips bouncing along his skin and only barely brushing his jaw as if Kana was afraid that he would disappear if she applied too much pressure. Kakashi covered the hand with his own and pressed her palm against his cheek, holding her gaze as his anxiety was worked away by each exploring touch Kana made.

Even though she was already a jonin, there was a childlike look of wonder on her face as both of her hands cupped his face-

Kana couldn't believe what was happening. He was so… Beautiful – she immediately decided that the dark freckle next to the corner of his mouth was her favorite part of his face. Not only that, but the amount of trust that he was instilling-

'Dammit. Okay, I can't do this,' she grumbled to herself, pulling out of the memory. She needed to find a memory they didn't share together, so she decided on a whim to go for a memory from his childhood; childhoods were typically happy.

There was a girl sitting next to Kakashi with short brown hair and purple markings on her cheeks, discussing how he came about creating the chidori. She giggled at how he mentioned he had accidentally cut his bed in half when Kakashi first tested it in his bedroom.

"You're such a phenomenal ninja," she said, "I'm so proud of you!"

'Rin…'

Shit, she knew that face had been familiar. Kana tried to pull out of the memory as she felt a wave of sorrow come over Kakashi's consciousness, but she was jerked back into the icy pool just before a new memory flashed in front of her.

Chidori screamed as it tore through the air, Kakashi moving faster than the Mist shinobi could register what was happening. Blue and white lightning bolts filled his vision when he thrust his palm out-

But then Rin was there. Rin was in front of Kakashi.

He felt something warm on his wrist, and the lightning blade became muffled against the pulse in his ears as his eyes looked down in horror.

There was blood.

His arm was through Rin's chest.

"Kakashi…" she whispered.

All Kakashi could think was that his teammate was dead on his arm, having committed suicide-

'No, fuck, I don't-' Kana couldn't get a grip on what was happening and began to panic.

A beautiful boy's face was twisted into that of agony, blood spurting out of his mouth.

He looked up angrily, desperately, and gripped Kakashi's wrist which had been firmly pressed over his heart.

"Za…Bu…Za…" he groaned-

Sasuke was tied to a tree with ninja wire, looking up at Kakashi spitefully-

"Don't worry, Sakura," Kakashi said with fake enthusiasm, "They'll be back to their old selves in no time"-

Moonlight shone in through the large window to his right, illuminating the body at Kakashi's feet.

He felt his entire world begin to crumble around his ears as he looked down at his father.

At the blade sticking out of his abdomen.

At the blood.

Kakashi felt sick to his stomach, the horror of the situation too much for him to bear-

Kana deactivated her dojutsu with a whimper, screwing her eyes shut and biting down on her lip fiercely, "I-I-I'm…"

The feeling of Inoichi's eyes on hers as she covered her face with her hands to press the heels of her palms into her eyes only made things worse. She messed up. Bad.

"Kana," Kakashi's voice was tight, "Look at me."

There was no way she could look anywhere other than at the back of her eyelids; Kana shook her head and kept her eyes squeezed closed. Against the force of her teeth biting down, her lip began to quiver. That was too much – going into a person's mind was one thing, but Kana had seen moments that brought an almost insurmountable wave of grief over her best friend. While in his mind, she felt every ounce of sorrow and regret that crashed over him in those moments.

Kakashi said her name again, and then there were hands cupping her jaw. Inoichi said something about leaving them alone before the door closed.

She allowed him to pull her head back up to face him, but Kana refused to open her eyes. Shame burned away at her chest, fighting against that shared despair – she hadn't been able to take control of the situation, and Kakashi was hurt as a result.

"I'm so sorry," she shakily whispered.

"Kana, please look at me."

Keeping her gaze on the wall of Inoichi's office, Kana's eyes fluttered open, "I'm sorry," she repeated.

The hands on her cheeks slid down to her shoulders and over her arms, smoothing down to her hands like an older sibling comforting their little sister; Kakashi then pulled her from the chair she had been sitting in and into the seat next to him. "It's alright," he murmured, "You didn't do anything wrong. I knew something like that could happen when I offered to help you with this."

Glowing eyes looked up at his after a few moments of long silence. Kakashi was looking down at her kindly, his eyes tender but so, so sad; she couldn't help but release a small sob at the sight. He lifted a hand to smooth over her hair, resting his head atop hers – the movement caused Kana to have her ear pressed against his chest, and she could hear his heart race as his shoulders trembled.

She snaked her arms around his ribs and clung to his torso by fisting his flak jacket, resulting in him tightening his arms around her. He held her so tight that she thought she was going to break, but she couldn't bring herself to complain.

Kakashi cried quietly, the only sounds being small hitches in his breath while warm tears soaked into her hair.

Note: I suck at describing her eyes, but imagine if the Tenseigan was monochrome. That's the best way I can put it. I'll get more into how it works and stuff in the sequel when she actually starts using it.

Also, only two chapters left :c I miss writing about Genma and Raido. I have no idea why I had the story turn the way that it did, but damn.