Dad didn't lie. He was telling the truth, even about the storm. Mom, Gob, Zack, him and me all stand on the outskirts of what was once Megaton. Right now, it looks like a disaster area. People stand, homeless, looking at the wreckage. Some found shelter in other caves, some simply survived outside. But homes, most of them, were reduced to nothing. The signs above Gob's store fell and crushed the ramp leading up to it, and the platforms that resided on stilts caved in. Dr. Church's clinic survived, somehow, and so didn't a few areas within the crater. The ones on the edges of the crater fell in, and demolished themselves. Flat homes and trading areas that housed the vegetables and smaller families received the least amount of damage. Only the large structures suffered. My house, where Cain was, is missing the top half. The kitchen and living room stand, but the upper walls, the sniper perch, everything else, is gone. We all stand in horror, and I wonder…what happens next?
"…Rebuild, restore, and move on."
Dad says, and mom nods. They act like this sort of thing happens all the time. The citizens of Megaton seem unaffected by the destruction, as they begin to move in and start cleaning up the debris. No one cries, no one mourns, they simply continue on. Am I abnormal, for feeling this way?
"But everything is gone!"
I tell my parents, and they look at me.
"No, it is repairable."
Dad says, and I stomp my foot.
"And where's Cain? Where is he? Our house is gone! His room is gone!"
He shakes his head, walking past me.
"This is the life out here, Dizzy. Things are destroyed, and things are rebuilt. We cannot waste time in mourning."
"Bullshit! That's bullshit and you know it! Dad! This storm took everything! I know you want to rebuild our home so we can be safe again, but please, dad, please…help me find Cain…"
Mom leaves with Gob and Zack to help them figure out a way to get up to their home. Figure out a way to rebuild the platforms, while I get to sit and stay and deal with dad.
"…There are many bodies, amiss in the debris, Dizzy."
"Help me find him, dad. Please. I…"
"You love him. You love him, and wish with every fiber in your being, that he's somehow okay. But Dizzy, you cannot dwell on it, if he is dead. If he cannot be found. This…this is what your mother and I, have strived to protect you from. Knowing now, we cannot, means we must teach you to move on. Become strong, and hardened. Promise me, if this turns out to be as terrible as it looks, that you will find strength in it."
My whole life, they kept their past from me. They kept their adventures, and struggles, hidden by secrecy and lies. Standing on the edge of where my home is, and watching my dad stare at me, I finally understand why. Looking up, the sky is clear, and blue, and warm. They lied to me, to protect me. To prevent me, from hurting, as they did. To make sure I never felt an ounce of sadness, or anguish, that they did. And somehow, all their efforts to keep it a secret, backfired. I find myself, in the exact place my parents tried to keep hidden from me. Tears form and fall, as I think of finding Cain dead and gone. If not in horrible condition. But I know, my parents must feel such a sense of regret and failure, at letting this happen. They must blame themselves, for letting Cain and I wander off into the unknown. Dad, especially.
Taking a deep breath in, I slowly exhale. A weight, of some sorts, is lifted off of me, and I look my father in the eyes.
"…I will be as strong as I can be, dad. But I have to find him, please. At least, let me say goodbye."
He nods, and offers me his hand. There's no debris on top of Megaton, only inside the crater. Everything fell in there, piles and piles of steel. Dad's hand wraps around mine, as we walk down the unsteady slope to the center. Getting closer, and joining the others in clearing the rubble away, I can feel my heart forcing its way through my chest. Like it wants to burst. Before we can even reach the bottom, mournful cries of the citizens echo out. They're finding the loved ones they left behind. They're mourning, too.
Mom says she can't help, because it's too much. Dad nods, and I nod, and she walks away with Gob and Zack. She's raised Cain as her son, so to her, it's like searching for her dead child. I know it feels the same for dad, too, but dad promised he'd help me. And I don't think, dad wants me to find Cain on my own, either.
Together, we lift steel planks, and move them into a separate pile, away from the center. Other citizens begin to collect random pieces, to help rebuild their homes. The Brahmin that lived here are gone, run away or dead. The vegetables everyone grew are torn up from their roots, and the grass is slick with mud and blood. Every time I lift a new piece, and look down at the ground, I feel relieved and sad. Relieved because Cain's body isn't beneath it, and sad, because we haven't found him yet.
Pausing to wipe sweat from my forehead, I feel dad's hand on my shoulder.
"If he is not here…"
"Then he's somewhere, dad."
Mom's voice drifts up from the top of the crater. She sings a sultry tune, one that dad would often ask her to sing late at night when they were alone in their room. It talks about a king, and a word called 'hallelujah'. Mom's actually a really good singer, and I always liked when she would sing me to sleep. But, when we hear her voice drift down, intentional or not, we feel sad. It makes me feel funny inside, and I don't like it. It makes my insides feel sad, and warm, and hopeful but torn up all at once. Looking at dad as he works to clear away more steel, I can tell that he feels the same way, too.
"Daddy?"
Dad lifts his head, and he looks at me.
"…Did you ever…wait too long, to tell something to mom? And then, realized, you couldn't anymore?"
He stands up straight, and tosses a small piece of steel away.
"Yes. Many times."
"…Did you ever tell her?"
"No. Not everything."
Looking up, dad watches mom sing on top of the crater, smoking a cigarette, while she takes a break from helping repair the ramp ways.
"Why?"
"Because that time in our life is over. We are together now, and there is no need."
"You should tell her anyways. Because…because one day you won't get to. And then, you'll want to."
"My daughter, should not give me advice. I should already know this."
As I start to move more pieces of steel, I hear dad's voice.
"You'll learn soon, love, is not the fairy tale you once believed it to be."
"Then what's it like, dad?"
"Painful. Agonizing. It worries you, hurts you, and yet…I understand, why it is revered and why so many people, have fought over it."
"It's hurtful right now."
"But, before this, you were happy beside Cain."
"…Yeah…I was."
Tears fall, but I ignore them, as we get back to work. My father doesn't say anything, and mom stops her beautiful singing. But the words ring over and over in my head, as I remember Cain and I laughing together. Our childhood. Our recent events. The times we were so close to being intimate and consummating everything. I don't think I'll ever get them back, and there's a million and one things I want to say to him right now. But I know, that I can't.
Absentmindedly, I lift a small and light piece of steel. By chance I glance beneath it, and see a hand.
"Dad!"
I yell, tossing aside the slab in my hand effortlessly. My heart beats and beats and goes faster and faster. I start to push as many pieces as I can away, until I can't anymore. Dad comes to help me lift it, and sees the familiar arm that I've uncovered.
"Dad! Help me! Dad!"
Crying, I try to get a good hold on the plank, and I feel my mom's eyes watching me from far away. We toss it aside, and notice the under layer is charred, black, and twisted.
"Lightning."
Dad tells me, reaching down to grab another slab of charred steel. Before he can, it shifts, and his hands jerk away. We look at one another, stunned, and my vision blurred by tears. Waiting, we watch it shift again, and before we can move to help, a yell emits from below it. The steel planks lift, and fall, as a bloodied and shirtless Cain rises.
The shock makes me fall, as he stands and yells in anger, in pain. But it's not a yell I've ever heard before. It sounds like a human cry, and the whirring of a terminal starting up. His hands turn to fists, as he starts pulling sharp fragments out of his arms and chest. Dad, myself, mom and everyone else watch in shock and horror, and with each steel fragment removed, blood trickles. He pulls at them, until they're all gone, and when they are, he stops. He simply stops, and looks around.
Everyone watches him, and it looks like he doesn't recognize anyone. He looks at mom, at Gob, at Zack. Finally, he looks at dad, and then at me.
"Subject…subject…"
"Subject Codename Cain."
Dad says, and I look at him from my place on the ground. Cain turns his head away from me, and stares at dad.
"Unrecognizable."
He advances towards dad, and dad balls his hands into fists.
"I will kill you to protect my family, Subject."
He says, and I jump to my feet.
"No! Dad no!"
"Subject Cain unrecognizable."
"Subject Cain stand down!"
Dad yells, and I run towards him.
"Don't hurt him! Dad don't hurt him!"
"Dizzy! Stop!"
Mom yells as she runs down the slope. I stop running and look at her. The wild and worried look on her face tells me I should listen. Hurriedly, I look back at Cain and dad. They stare at one another, equal in size, height, and girth.
"Subject presented is not Subject Cain. Identify yourself. Subject 0001284936, present."
Who? What do those numbers mean? What's Cain saying.
"I am 0001284936. I give you the order to stand down."
"Subject created, from Subject 0001284936. Subject not created to take orders from Subject 0001284936."
"Subject Cain created to protect human Dizzy. These are your standing orders. If you do not comply, I will use deadly force."
Dad talks like he's in the military. Like he's had some…some special…no. It makes sense now. It makes sense. Dad…dad is so much stronger, because before Cain, he was there. Before Cain, dad was the best in the world. And Cain…was just a clone. Cain, is a warped version of dad. And mom's right…dad…dad can and will kill him.
"Unconfirmed. Human Dizzy is unknown to Subject. I am prepared to defend myself."
Cain raises his hands, and prepares to fight with dad. Ignoring the warning to not get involved, I rush forward, and throw myself between them.
"Dizzy!"
Dad yells, and my appearance coupled with dad's reaction makes Cain react. I feel his fist connect with my jaw, and it propels me off of my feet. I fall down, and pain like I've never felt before travels through my body. Landing on the steel, I feel it piece my arm, and the blood trickle out. My hand clasps over my cheek, and I hiss at the pain.
"Ahhh…ah…."
I cry, my legs freezing up as a shadow blocks out the sun. Opening my eyes, I see Cain standing over me.
"Interference with orders. Human."
"Cain…it's ah…it's me! It's me! It's Dizzy!"
It hurts so much to talk, to move my jaw, but I have to. I see dad take careful steps forward, and I know he's going to attack Cain from behind. I know dad, and I know he'll kill him. He'll kill him if I can't stop it. And I can't let that happen. I can't let dad do that.
"Stop! Stop! You're not a machine! You're not a machine! You're Cain! You know me, you know me…"
All the things, I've ever wanted to tell him comes rushing out of me.
"I love you, Cain! I love you and you loved me, remember? Remember? It's me! It's me! I'm the one you're supposed to protect! Me! Cain!"
He bends down and wraps his hands around my neck.
"Unidentifiable."
"No! No I'm not! I'm Dizzy, Cain…I'm Dizzy…please…please don't…"
His grip slowly tightens, and I hear dad's footsteps growing closer and closer.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I left. I'm sorry I did this to you, Cain. I'm so sorry, please. Please remember…remember please. I love you. You're not a machine. You're not…you're mine. You're mine…"
His grip stops. Dad's footsteps stops, but I can see dad right behind him. Cain looks at me, his eyes analyzing things I can't comprehend. My tears fall down my cheeks, and land on his wrists.
"I'm sorry…I'm sorry…"
Lifting my hands, I put them on his wrists.
"It's okay…it's okay…"
Cain's hands fall away from me, and his body slumps over. He sits on his knees, his head hanging. Dad watches, gun in his hands, waiting.
"Subject…subject unresponsive…fault in system…system…"
"No, no shh…you're not a machine. You're not…"
I put my hands on his cheeks, kneeling in front of him. My face throbs and hurts, but I can't think of that right now.
"They don't know, they don't. It's okay. They see now. They see and it's okay. We can run away together…Cain it's okay…it's okay."
"…Harmless…harmless…it all seemed harmless…"
"It is, Cain. It is harmless. It's okay, I promise. We're together now. You'll be alright."
Everyone watches us. The citizens, our parents, everyone. They watch us, but I don't care. I can't care anymore. All I can care about, is Cain.
"You can do it, Cain. Remember, you can remember."
"Subject…I…"
"Yes, yes, see?"
"I…"
He falls away from me, and holds his head in his hands. His whole body seems to shake, and I crawl over to him. The world falls silent, as Cain struggles. I don't know what happened. I don't know what made him wake up, but even now I'm glad he did. I can't begin to explain how he came to be responsive, how he came to open his eyes, but none of that matters. All that matters, is that he's here, and he's alive.
Cain lifts his head, and he looks at me. Our matching eyes meet, as a still and cool breeze brushes against my skin. My mother appears aside my father, who stops her from interrupting. Taking Cain's hands in mine, I press them against my lips.
"Please, remember…do you really want to make me cry anymore? Please, Cain. I'm trying."
His fingers close around mine, as he blinks slowly.
"…It all…"
What's he trying to say? What can I do? My tears don't let up, as I hold his hands tightly.
"Just say it, Cain. It'll be alright, remember? It'll be alright…"
"…Too much…"
His body shakes, and his fingers release mine. In an instant, Cain falls down with his eyes closed.
"No! No! No you were here! No wake up!"
Dad and mom rush forward, and dad replaces his gun on his back. Mom wraps her arms around me, as dad bends down to examine Cain.
"He's breathing. He's breathing. He's alive, Dizzy. He's alive."
"…Make him come back. Make him wake up."
"I can't, not right now. It's too much for him to take. Give him time. Here, let's find a safe place for him. Dezbe, can we make it up to Gob's?"
"Yeah, if you walk around the back."
Dad nods, and lifts Cain in his arms. He's alive. And he's breathing. He's alive, and soon, he's going to wake up.