Chapter B – Break. Bittersweet. Believe.

In every relationship, there are several chapters that revolve the alphabets.

B is for Break. For love deserves someone better.

B is for Bittersweet. Someday, we will be together and everything will be sweet again.

B is for Believe. You made me believe it so please, I want you to believe it too.

B – Break. Bittersweat. Believe.

Relinquish for Love: Break.

Song : "Just be Friends" By Dixie

Just be friends. All we got to do.

Just be friends. It's time to say goodbye.

Just be friends. All we got to do.

Just be friends. We can just be friends.

It came to my mind in the early morning, yesterday, as I gathered broken shards of glass from the floor. What the hell is this? As blood trickle from my cut finger, I ask myself, if this is what we really hoped our relationship would turn out to become? I knew from the bottom of my heart, the only choice was the hardest choice. But my mind refuses it and I replay the contradiction over and over. Only, to come up with the same decision.

When can I tell you?

In the slowly decaying world, I'm struggling.

But it's the only way, carved from your faded smiles,

I pulled the plug.

I ended up screaming with a hoarse voice, as much vain as I can muster up. Nothing is left at the end of the unchained me. Coincidences that had been stuck to us, it degenerates into the darkness and are broken into pieces. "No matter what we do, this is life and it's always going to be like this." I mumble and felt somebody's tears fall on my dry cheeks.

Yesterday, a tranquil night made me realize,

It'd be useless to pick up all the fallen petals

Because it'll never bloom again.

It's tiny but already dead in my palms,

Our flower had stopped a long time ago.

"I remember the first time we met and seeing your powerful smile." I stop you from bringing up old issues. We hurt each other too much so let's quit that. Let's stop our minds from being completely filled with thorns. I know you want to continue to water the flower but with this continuous, dull, and frustrating relationship, I can't change my mind and I leave.

I still love you

And I don't want to be apart from you,

But I have too…

A year has passed since I saw your face. Standing stunned and dead, my vision becomes blurry. Despite my determination, the remaining feelings are penetrating deep in my heart and it's painful. The bond between us has come so far apart that it died away as each day passed. Watching you with your beautiful girlfriend with long navy hair, I come to realize that, my sweetheart, it's finally over.

Just once, if I could have any wish to come true,

I'd like to be reborn so I can see you again

When our flower was still blooming.

Relying in Love: Bittersweet

Song : "When the First Love Ends" By Sumi

Our first kiss tasted bitter from my tears.

A love like the one you see in the movies

And as if it were to be known at that moment, the departure bell rang.

Walking slowly through the winter's night, I bury my face in the warm knitted scarf that was wrapped around my neck. The cold winter wind ran across my cheeks as I desperately tried to keep my hands warm with my own breath. The city was covered in Christmas lights tonight. Christmas was just a few days from now and as if it were under a spell, my eyes grew wide to see all the bare trees sparkle before me.

Somehow, I just couldn't tell you,

This thing that I feel, that I hid deep inside.

I decided that this is what I wanted, so I'll be ok.

I will never look back so…

"Thank you, and goodbye." That was what I was going to tell him. Thank you, and goodbye, my bitter unrequited love. My legs buckle under the brightly lit trees and I can feel the stinging sensation returning to my eyes. No, I mustn't. If I start, everything will come flashing back. I must keep going. I promised myself that I won't cry. And just at that moment, the snow began to fall. With my hand extended in front of me, the soft snow landed on my fingertips. As I ran my fingers against the solidified water, it melted and disappeared.

Walking on the street leading to the station,

I pass a couple holding each other,

Saying "Look, it's the first snow of the season!"

Wishing that someday I could be that way with him, I continue toward the train station as I shake the impossible out of my head. I catch a glimpse of the brightly colored bag that I was holding. It's a hand-knitted scarf. It was the first time I made it but it was not the first time I was carrying it. Why didn't I go on and give it to him? I'm such a coward. I was just so afraid.

As long as it becomes a good memory,

I don't mind it ending.

Now, is that what you really think?

I see him standing alone, his one luggage near his feet. I knew that one day, this moment would come and there is no turning back. But still, my body won't stop trembling. I watch him as he check the watch on his wrist. The train will come at any minute now but that was not what was troubling me now.

I want us together. Let me be with you.

I want you so much. How many times have I wished that before?

Tell me, are all goodbyes, always this hard?

He saw me and we stare at each other now. I take the necessary steps toward him and stop only a foot away. I give him the present that I have failed to give countless of times in the past and look at the soft expression on his face. Always so hard on others but I know how kind and thoughtful you can be.

I'm truly glad we've met…

I love you.

Why can't I say a single word? Just for a moment, please, give me the courage to speak. "Zelgadiss-San, I…" But when my lips began to speak, the distance I created between us turned to zero.

… Is it ok if I just cry, just for now?

There is no need for words, just hold me as tight as you can.

Wearing the hand-knitted scarf I made around his neck, he looked back at me and smiled. I return a bigger one and watched the train that carried my bittersweet love away.

By this time next year,

I wonder what I will be like…

And what you will be like…

Reasons for Love : Believe

Song : "Forever Love" By Wang Lee Hom

Loving you, not for your beauty.

But I love you more and more

With glance, you touch my heart.

Because you made me see forever.

I truly understand myself now. It's because of your belief in me that I began to appreciate myself properly. Loving me, sometimes painful and sometimes unfair, you continued until you stopped altogether. I remember feeling you breathing into my ears and your deep love, gently comforting my restlessness.

That's all I want now.

To study your smiles,

My forever love.

I only want to use my life to love you. From now onwards, you will be everything, my reason for happiness. Love is the most wonderful vacation, but only to encounter mud on the way, blocking us from going on. I will continue to follow you, my love, until I feel your warmth in my embrace.

Just like my light,

Cleverly melting my restlessness,

Proving my reason to love you.

As I sprint up the stone steps and burst the double doors open, I ignore the gasps that echo throughout the church and look upon you. Like an angel, you turn around with slightly widen eyes and lips apart, I am touched by the softness of your loving eyes connecting with mines. The sounds of my silence, perhaps the best proof I can give you, I extend my gloved hand to you and pleaded with all my heart. "Just let me say it once more," I whisper to the beautiful bride with long blonde hair. "Please, believe in me."

Just let me say it once more.

I love you, until forever.

AN : Song Fanfics! Love it. I think I should make more song fanfic, it's just so lovely. CIAO~ DPP