"Rai?"
Kana kicked her flats off at the dark entryway of the older man's apartment, swirling eyes narrowing to see through the near-pitch black hall that led to his kitchen. She had stopped by with some groceries in an attempt to have Raido come home to a warm dinner, assuming her timing was right, but Kana could feel his presence in the apartment the minute she had opened the door.
That would have been a pleasant surprise if Raido hadn't kept all of the lights off and bothered to lock the door.
Rustling could be heard from the direction of the living room as she set the few bags of food on the kitchen counter, then the familiar clatter of metal being dropped to wood flooring. "Rai?" she repeated, stepping a little harder than normal as Kana walked through the hall so he could hear her coming.
Sitting in the dark blue easy chair in the corner of the living room, Raido kept his head down and didn't acknowledge her as she entered the living room. On the floor in front of him was Kokuto, which was covered in a vile mixture of blood and poison that had splattered and smeared across the floor when Raido dropped it earlier. His hands hung loosely between his legs and his shoulders sagged in a way that only radiated misery.
Her heart jumped into her throat at the sight - Kana was used to seeing her lover standing tall and proud but, now, he only looked small and defeated. She tiptoed over to where he sat before kneeling in front of his legs, noting the drying blood that only tinted the black cloak he wore; Raido had just come home from an assassination mission.
Pale hands smoothed over his, "Rairai…" she whispered, this time not as a question or call, but to let him know that she was there; Kana brought one of the hands up to her face and turned her cheek into it to kiss the calloused palm with a sigh.
After a few moments of sitting in silence Kana wordlessly rose to a standing position, moving her hands from his to where his cloak was fastened and untying the knot that kept it together; it dropped to the floor with a wet slap that caused the man to screw his eyes shut tighter.
She resumed her earlier position and rest her head against his thigh while rubbing small circles into the fabric of his pants. They sat in a heavy, oppressive silence that seemed to only absorb the sounds of their breathing for a few minutes, Raido's thumb stroking Kana's hair in calculated, measured movements.
The silence was broken with a heavy sigh from the older man, who pushed himself up off of the chair and crossed his living room without a word; Kana felt her heart sink at the sound of him closing his bedroom door with the 'click' of the lock.
She was very aware of how Raido used to cope with certain things – she knew that there were times where he simply needed to be alone and sort things out on his own. It wasn't like situations with Kakashi, who was desperate to be held and talked to, which was what she had grown somewhat accustomed to. There was a small voice in the back of Kana's mind, though, that told her that him shutting the door like this on her was saying she simply wasn't good enough. Raido hadn't acted like this in almost two years. When he came home after a particularly upsetting mission, he would reach out to her and talk about what he could to ease the weight on his shoulders. Kana was the type that took care of people – all but coddling the people she cared about – so being unable to do anything that would help ease Raido's pain was like –
'Exactly how he was when we were only friends.'
Cold fear crept up into Kana's stomach at the thought as she looked wistfully at the closed door that separated them. Did he no longer want her? The feeling was like someone had taken his blade and pierced her with it.
Glittering eyes lowered to Kokuto at the thought, which had been uncharacteristically abandoned on the floor by the tokubetsu jonin. He always obsessively cleaned the blade the second he got the chance, starting the maintenance process even before cleaning himself off; seeing it lying on the floor among the blood splatters went to show just how badly Raido was hurting. Everything about the situation only caused the fear to twist in her gut, but the sight reminded her that there was something really bad going on in his head right now.
Back to moving as swiftly and silently as she normally did, Kana took the cleaning kit from his hall closet to bring it back into the living room where she meticulously placed its contents in a row on the coffee table. She didn't know how long the man intended to keep himself locked away, but she knew that the katana must have been soaking in blood and poison for at least half a day so Kana decided she would pass the time by cleaning it for him. The last thing he needed was one of his most prized possessions rusting due to negligence, and the methodical actions of cleaning the blade would help against the sense of panic and dread that were building inside of her.
As the cleaning cloth glided over the blade Kana couldn't help but admire its aesthetics, even when covered in blood, and wondered what kind of metal the sword was made from. It was light, almost completely weightless with the exception of the handle, and she always preferred holding it over her own standard-issue katana. While a small folded sheet of oil paper smoothed along the length of Kokuto to remove any excess oil Kana wondered if it would be possible to have something similar made for her own use, or if it would be an insult to its idiosyncrasy.
'Probably would be pretty tacky to just rip off someone else's design…' she mused, watching the uchiko ball dab white puffs of powder that contrasted strongly against the black katana, 'Still, it'd be nice to have something as light as this on the field.'
After a few more minutes spent on wiping away the powder and applying choji oil to Kokuto, Kana placed the now sheathed blade on the coffee table before reassembling the cleaning kit to put it back in its rightful place in the hall closet. She then decided to use the groceries that were still sitting in his kitchen to whip up meal for Raido so that he had something to eat when he was feeling up to it. It wasn't that he was unable to cook, he just tended to be lazy and often would resort to plain meals such as donburi; she knew he liked it better when Kana made even simple things like the corn potage that boiled in front of her.
When that was done, she opted to throwing the bloody cloak into the wash with a few other garments.
Then she washed the blood out of the floor.
After that there was nothing to keep her mind busy. Try as she might, Kana couldn't fight the reemergence of anxiety-induced thoughts as her brain analyzed every detail it came across.
She had unlocked the second half to her kekkei tota nearly two months ago, which Kana would admit she had been spending a lot of time dealing with by pouring over the texts she had taken from the Shimi manor. When she wasn't reading, she was testing out new techniques with Kakashi and Guy, out on missions that almost felt back-to-back, helping Lee with training or spending time with Neji. With Raido being sent out on missions and dealing with his own work as Lady Tsunade's bodyguard, that didn't leave for a whole ton of time for the two of them to spend together.
Still, Raido never once complained…
'But he did start acting different after that night at Anko's…'
The hand that had been twirling the end of her braid came to a screeching halt – was he disgusted with how the night spent with the four others went? Sure, Kana had sort of initiated things by kissing Izumo, but Raido looked like he had been enjoying himself at the time and never made any move to stop things. In fact, he was the one that left the decisions up to her… Unless that was just the alcohol talking, and Sober Raido found the entire situation to be nothing short of repugnant. It was entirely possible considering how the man was known for being strict and by-the-book...
As the thought settled, in Kana realized that they hadn't made love since then, just brief post-mission encounters that usually ended with her jumping out the window and sleeping with her platoon in the barracks. She realized that they had quit going on dates, too, and most of the time spent together was either with the others or watching TV.
She cradled her head in her hands, pressing the heels into her eyes until red and yellow starbursts appeared in the blackness, and ferociously bit her quivering lip. As much as Kana desperately wanted to just walk into Raido's room and settle things, she couldn't – even if she were to pick the simple doorknob lock, she had absolutely no idea how to handle a situation like this. It wasn't as if Kana had ever been in a relationship before or had dealt with a breakup. Hell, the most she knew about relationships came from Icha Icha and watching the shitstorm of a show that Iruka and Kakashi put on.
Swirling eyes looked up at the offending door as Kana struggled to come to some sort of decision. On one hand, if Raido truly was going through some sort of crisis then the last thing he needed was to be barraged with questions and forced through a define-the-relationship talk. Though Kana couldn't just sit there on the sofa and let her mind flounder around in a sea of a fear of abandonment, on the other hand.
It took a few long minutes of chewing on a bleeding lip and staring at the door to Raido's bedroom before she was able to come up with some semblance of a plan, and Kana managed to find the resolve to push herself up off of the couch and cross the room. Though, once she got there, she had to spend even longer to bring herself to actually say something.
Kana's loose fist rose to the door and fell against the wood; it wasn't so much a knock as just a small thump that made her presence known.
"R-Raido...?" she called in a voice that was much too feeble to be her own, "Look… I know this is a royally shit time for this so… I know you have clearance to get into Anbu HQ since you're a part of the Hokage Guard Platoon… Um… Later, if you want, I mean…" Kana's hand squeezed into a tighter fist and she brought it back to clutch at her crop top in an attempt to still her fluttering heart, swallowing what little saliva was left in her mouth to keep her jaw from trembling too much, "I just mean, I'd rather we just… Break up properly… Instead of just... Doing what we've been... So, um, if you could drop by the barracks when you're up to it-"
There was the faint sound of rustling just before the door swung open fast enough for Kana to marvel at how it wasn't completely torn off of its hinges – or, well, she would have if she didn't instead stumble back away from the entryway with a gasp; she wasn't expecting that.
Raido stood with his hand still on the doorknob, wearing an expression that could only be described as one that which a wild animal would wear when it was cornered.
"You're leaving me?" his voice was still just as hoarse and his eyes were bloodshot and swollen just like earlier, which made Kana want to just curl in on herself and take everything back. This was a stupid, selfish endeavor – she knew that, and she still insisted on going through with it. Now she was helplessly pinned under the intensely raw gaze coming from the bedroom.
Wrapping her arms around her tiny frame, she stepped back until the backs of her thighs bumped into the arm of the sofa and sat down on it, "I-I'm – I thought – You – I mean…" Kana sputtered out the first words that flew to the front of her mind, all of which failed to properly string together into any sort of a sentence.
"You thought what, Kana?" Raido hissed, anger and hurt ringing in his deep voice, "You thought what?"
At the sharp tone of his voice Kana screwed her eyes shut and hung her head, "I'm sorry – this was stupid – I'm sorry. I'm really sorry! I'm just – I'm just really stupid – I didn't mean – I mean – You seemed so – fuck - I'm sorry!" The more she spoke, the less time she spent enunciating her words and soon she was reduced to abortive noises that only formed half-words at best. Kana knew that she was babbling in her panic, but couldn't bring herself to stop until she choked on a sob and fell back onto the sofa.
Warm, large hands smoothed over her hip as Raido loomed over where she was curled up, "Calm down, kitten, I'm thinking we've got some wires crossed," one hand slid up to the back of her head and Kana felt his lips seal over hers in a gentle kiss. There was an unmistakable layer of tension in every move he made that reminded her that Raido had just gotten back from a mission, and she couldn't help but feel like a childish brat for only making things worse by making this about herself.
"I'm sorry…" she mumbled, "We can talk later when you're feeling better-"
"I'm not going to be feeling any better with something like this hanging in the air."
Raido's words sent another pang of guilt straight through her chest, and Kana sighed as the heat of shame bloomed in her chest, "I'm sorry-" she was cut off by another tender kiss as the hand in her hair moved to brush black bangs out of her face.
"Stop apologizing," he murmured against her mouth, "Just tell me what's going on in that head of yours."
After fluttering their lips together in ghost-like kisses for a few more moments, Kana pushed herself into a sitting position and motioned for the older man to sit next to her so she could climb into his lap. When she had herself comfortably straddling both of his thighs, the kunoichi sighed and finally opened her eyes slowly, keeping her head down as to not temporarily blind Raido.
Over the next few minutes Kana explained everything that had been swimming through her head in the last few hours, resting against Raido's chest and allowing the gentle rise and fall of his breathing to soothe her into a relaxed state as she spoke. It felt nice to be able to actually come clean about the smaller worries that she didn't even know she had until Kana expressed them, one after the other as if her mind was going through a checklist.
Raido's arms, which had been wrapped around her torso, tightened as an unexpected chuckle rumbled through his broad chest, "We have got to work on our communication, kitten," he said in a low voice, pressing his lips into the side of her head, "Because we're definitely not on the same page."
He pushed on her hips just enough to give Kana the hint to scoot back enough so that they could look at each other – when she kept her head down, Raido brought a hand up to her cheek to pull it upwards; he didn't flinch when the glittering eyes forced his pupils to contract.
"Starting at item number one, if I wasn't getting a raging hard on by watching you make out with Izumo then I would have slung you over my shoulder right then and there and marched out to the living room to watch Yugao remind everyone she's got a terrible poker face." His hands snaked around her waist in a soft embrace as he spoke, "But… Yeah, I'll admit it changed a few things – no, don't look at me like that, it was all me," Raido kissed her forehead, "I know it's corny, but the problem was with me. Not with you."
Kana narrowed her eyes, watching small shadows dance along the twisted and stretched flesh of the scar that crossed over his face as the light changed, "I don't understand…"
The man sighed and lowered his gaze in an expression of embarrassment, "I know I'm not a handsome man, Kana. When I look back and remember how you looked almost… Eager when you were with the chunin, and how much time you always spend with Kakashi…"
"You thought that I was attracted to them," she finished for him with a sense of understanding, watching Raido twitch his cheek in response. Kana brought a hand up to cup the left side of his face in her palm and stroked the wealed flesh lovingly, "Look, we hang out with a group of good-looking people, but," she leaned up to kiss his cheek, "I'm not interested in any of them and, honestly, I think you're a lot more handsome."
A shy blush crept across Raido's cheeks and the corners of his lips twitched upwards in the faintest of smiles that could only barely be seen, which caused Kana grin as well. "Item number two... This goes back to the thing with the chunin earlier, but I came to the realization that it had always been me to initiate things – whether it be making plans for a date, or getting intimate…" he buried his face into her slender shoulder, "I wanted to see if you would come to me, or if you would just let things go back to how they were."
It was Kana's turn to sigh, "Rai… I thought we had already established that I'm not that type."
The arms around her body tightened as he all but curled around her, "I know – I knew that. But I just thought that if you did… If you did something that wasn't just following what I started…"
"I get it," she kissed his neck, "I shouldn't be relying on you to lead the way all of the time. I'm sorry, Rairai… I'll try." Kana smiled when she felt lips press into her shoulder as a silent thank you.
She truly, honestly found the tokubetsu jonin to be much more attractive than the men they spent their time with, even if it wasn't in much of a traditional sense. The others were all dripping with flawless good looks, even with the patches of Rosacea that Kotetsu liked to keep hidden underneath his bandage, but Raido had a rugged and much more masculine handsomeness that genuinely appealed to her - the last thing she wanted was to make him feel as if Kana didn't want him...
She allowed herself to openly look at him, eyes scanning Raido and drinking him in; seeing his scars reminded Kana just how powerful he was as a shinobi, each mark acting as a testament to some battle he had won. The broad expanse of his shoulders matched by his surprisingly tall height, even for Konoha's standards, only furthered that thought. If one could find it within themselves to look past the twisted, marred flesh of the burn scars Raido had received in his teens, they would see the strong, almost chiseled jawline and high cheekbones accentuated by a straight nose and lips that were simultaneously thin and full.
Her hand slid down his neck to skid over his arms, feeling the curve of developed muscles beneath the sleeve of his jersey as she continued journeying down to run her fingertips past where the shirtsleeve was rolled up at his forearm, and slipping her fingers beneath the fabric to feel the rigid muscle. Kana's other hand hovered over the waistband of his pants, tips of her fingers dancing over the top button and coasting over his zipper.
Raido gasped softly at the feeling of his soft member being pulled out of the opening, looking down at where their contrasting skin met then back up to convey his confusion through a raised eyebrow and darkening blush, "I didn't mean-"
"I know," she leaned her head into the palm that had risen to cup her cheek, "Just let me do this for you."
At the sight of the man's bottom lip pushing out just a tad, Kana had to fight the urge to giggle at her lover's pout as his blush somehow managed to deepen to near-crimson and he shook his head, "I honestly don't think I could get it up right now..." he muttered shyly.
A small trickle of white chakra to her fingertips elicited another surprised gasp from Raido, whose eyes widened and immediately jumped down to where they were connected. His lips parted and his breathing became shallow as he watched her pale fingers wrap around his length and slowly stroke it to hardness, the hand cradling her cheek sliding back to grab a fistful of silver hair, pulling some of it out of Kana's braid.
His head then rolled back to rest on the back of the couch with a sigh, "That… That feels good," he admitted with a small grin, "You're going to be the death of me, woman…"
She only chuckled and used her free hand to slide up under his jersey and smooth over his taut abdominals, feeling the muscles twitch and flex with every stroke she made around the now fully engorged member. Raido released a soft moan when she rolled one of his nipples between her still cold fingers and teased it into a firm nub before nudging the uniform shirt higher so he got the hint to take it off.
There was something relaxing about the sight of the tokujo's appearance – his hair, no longer pushed up into a bushy, spiky mess by his forehead protector, fell around his face in loose spikes that framed his forehead and tops of his cheeks perfectly. Knowing that Kana was the only person that ever got to see him like this, though, with flushed cheeks and lips slightly parted in a small o as the muscles in his arms corded as he gripped the seat cushions, flooded her with a satisfied, almost gloating arousal.
That feeling was only amplified further when a tightening of her grip elicited another gasp from Raido, who subtly pushed his hips up into her hand, "Mmf, kiss me," he whispered, pulling his head up to touch their cheeks together with a groan, "Kiss me, kitten."
Kana, suddenly wanting to hear as many of his delicious sounds as possible, leaned in and captured his lip with her own, pressing their mouths together seamlessly until her lips began to fall numb. Her tongue darted out when Raido's lips parted to breathe, and she couldn't help but revel in the way he wantonly moaned into her mouth as he allowed her to lap at his mouth possessively, shuddering at the hoarseness of his throat making his already deep voice almost impossibly husky. Kana caught his bottom lip between even teeth, biting down softly and tugging while feeling his throaty moan rumble beneath the hand on his chest. Whatever he mumbled into her mouth was lost in a messy jumble of incoherent syllables, dominated by moans and grunts that were increasing in volume with each tug of his weeping erection.
Lips trailed along Raido's jaw and down his neck, placing soft, fleeting kisses in between tender bites intermingled with light sucking; Kana couldn't help but grin at the way her lover began to twitch and groan as her pace quickened. When she reached the base of his neck, she brought the hand on his chest down to where his floating rib was and gently pinched the bundle of nerves on the bone extension just as the tip of Kana's tongue pressed against Raido's sternocleidomastoid muscle in his neck, coasting back up his throat.
"Hnng, kitten," he gasped, "Oh – god – kitten… Kana…," Raido's hips began to buck into the hand that had begun to pump his erection as his breathing had been reduced to shallow pants, "N-not gonna... Can't last."
She rolled her fingers over his sweet spot while running a thumb over the head of his swollen member, smearing the precome that had leaked through the slit and begun to drip over her fingers, "Just relax, Rairai," Kana whispered in what she hoped was a seductive voice.
Raido could only groan in response and tighten the hand that was still nestled in her hair; any words he attempted to form were lost in choked, abortive noises. The other rose from where it was nearly tearing the seat cushion apart to grip her thigh hard enough for Kana to know there would be bruises tomorrow - the thought of her lover holding her tight enough to leave marks in her pale flesh was enough for the kunoichi to have to bite back an excited groan.
Wanting to leave marks of her own, Kana lapped at the pulse that thundered beneath her mouth before sealing her lips over his neck. The sounds of Raido moaning salaciously in her ear and begging for more in a mindless slew of words turned her consciousness into a needy haze, and her own desperate mewls and murmurs joined the mix as she bit down, hard, on the purple bruise.
Almost as if a flip had switched, the hand on her head gripped hers almost painfully as his teeth clenched and his moans turned into grunts and wet snarls. There was nothing quite as erotic as watching the man she loved begin to lose control, and the change in demeanor only encouraged her to quicken her pace as she felt Raido begin to teeter on the edge.
Kana pushed herself up further and crushed their lips together in a bruising kiss, wanting to hear more of the low growls that rolled through his chest and the back of his throat as she felt his teeth drag over her bottom lip hungrily.
"K-Kana – god - Kana – please," he panted between kisses, "I'm… I-I'm – god, kitten –" he cut himself off with a loud groan that ended in a snarl as his erection pulsed in his lover's hand. Kana continued to press into the cluster of nerves over his rib, watching eagerly as he writhed beneath her just as he found his release with a throaty growl. Thick white ribbons spilled over her hand as she milked his orgasm to completion, feeling the older man twitch when the flesh became too sensitive.
After a several long minutes of the pair basking in each others' affection, smiling and nipping at slightly swollen lips that were reddened and slick from the pressure of kissing, the older man released a long sigh and sat back into the sofa, tugging Kana with him so that she was nearly lying on him. Her head fell against his bare chest and she smiled at the sound of his heartbeat still fluttering quickly in his chest.
Despite his racing heart, Kana could tell by the languid movements of the hand stroking her back that she had managed to rid her lover of the majority of his post-mission stress. There was no longer a restrained tension, or perfectly controlled manner in the way he held himself and moved, which was exactly she had wanted to achieve. Kana reached over for the jersey that had been haphazardly thrown over the couch and wiped the come off of her hand before snaking her arms around Raido's back to snuggle closer.
A few moments later, when the tension fled his body and his breathing slowed, Raido sighed contently, "You're the only person… That's ever made me feel attractive," he sealed their lips together, "I love you so much that it hurts sometimes, kitten…"
"I hate that you need me to see it," she whispered against his mouth in response, "You're so beautiful." Kana could almost feel the heat of his blush deepening and she smiled into the kiss. The hand in her hair slid down to her waist, now boneless, and Raido pressed his face into her shoulder with a hum.
"As for… Everything else…" Raido yawned next to her ear, "Can it wait? Too tired."
Her smiled widened and she kissed some part of his chest that she could reach, "I'm surprised you were coherent for this long. We can finish this tomorrow," Kana pulled back to kiss the right side of his cheek, "Go get some sleep. I'll come by and fix breakfast in the morning."
Raido shook his head and somehow managed to push himself up off of the couch while still keeping the younger jonin pressed to his chest, "Stay with me. I've still got about a week's worth of your clothes here, since you're so keen on doing your laundry here and then 'Accidentally' leaving things on the clothesline."
A hot blush crossed Kana's cheeks and she tightened her hold on his body as she was carried to the bedroom, but Raido only chuckled and pressed a lazy kiss on the side of her head, "I don't mind, but," he crawled onto the bed and dropped her onto the fluffy duvet to hover over her, holding Kana's hands over her head and lacing their fingers together, "You already have a key, you know you don't need to use tricks like that if you want to come by."
It was Kana's turn to laugh, "Rairai, when have I ever used my clothes as an excuse to drop in?"
"Then why do you leave them here?" he asked, eyebrows furrowing in confusion, "And the toothbrush under the sink?"
"So I've got uniforms and shit for when I sleep over," she said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, "I don't want to go to work in dirty clothes, and my Anbu uniform usually takes too long to dry for me to hope it dries overnight… What?"
Raido's face had dropped all form of amusement and had, instead, taken on a contemplative expression that made Kana more than a little nervous. He paused for a few long moments, eyes looking up to where their hands were conjoined with some of his blush returning.
"You know… When we first got together, you'd never let me hold you like this," he murmured, sliding his hands back to wrap around pale wrists before smoothing back over Kana's palms, "You didn't look scared, but you looked almost angry when I did it by accident… A couple of times you scratched my hands right open," Raido grinned, "You know you made me get stitches, once?"
Kana narrowed her eyes, "You're not really the type to beat around the bush, Raido…"
He sighed and closed his eyes before releasing his lover's hands to brace himself on his forearms, which were placed on either side of her head. Kana watched as dark eyes opened to follow the changing hue of her hair in the dark bedroom, which only continued to make her more concerned over the hesitance that was bringing back some of the tension that had vacated his body just ten, fifteen minutes ago.
"Have you thought about just moving in with me?"
Kana blinked stupidly, "… Hah..?"
Clearly embarrassed, the muscles in Raido's jaw flexed as his clenched his teeth and his blush deepened, "I mean… We've been together, really together, for nearly a year now, and I know you like being here…" he paused, studying the less-than-encouraging reaction she must have been wearing before looking away, "You don't want to."
It wasn't as if the thought hadn't crossed Kana's mind – the idea of falling asleep and waking up next to Raido was a fond one – and it wasn't as if she were afraid of the commitment that moving in entailed, but…
"I can't just leave my men," she murmured, "We're… Really close – we train and shower and eat together… I… They're my people…"
Raido nodded, but the sad, dejected look didn't leave his face as he rolled off of her and onto his side with a sigh, "I get it, it's okay."
Guilt panged in her chest hotly at the sight of the older man smiling sadly at her as he told her not to worry and kissed her cheek, and she wondered how long he had been thinking about this. Raido was the type of man that was relatively methodical in his actions, not taking action until he had properly sorted his thoughts through, so she knew how much this must have meant to him, and that he had thought long and hard over it.
The next half hour was spent in uncomfortable silence as the two readied for bed, taking showers in turn and brushing their teeth. When they slipped under the covers, with Kana half-draped over him with her head pillowed on his shoulder, she couldn't help but feel warm at the prospect of being able to do this every day. The way that the back of Raido's hand ran over her body, just barely touching her in small glances, sometimes spending a little extra time over the small, exposed area of skin that her shirt didn't quite cover, was relaxing enough to where she knew she could be able to pass out in his arms even if they were on the field.
Still, what she had said was true. Her platoon was extremely important to her, and Kana knew that a captain bunking with her men was uncommon but known to boost morale; she did everything she could to build their trust in her as their leader. They bonded over that, just like they bonded over sharing their experiences on the field.
Looking up at Raido, she wondered if he truly understood the bond that Anbu held with each other. It wasn't just the normal camaraderie shared with general shinobi, but there was a link far beneath what was normally shared that held them together like a bizarre, close-but-distant family. Black Ops agents weren't necessarily encouraged to become close to one another due to the high risk each mission held for them, but it happened anyways, and in more ways than one. Dropping this kind of bomb on her wasn't something she could process as a snap decision.
The tokujo, who had been half asleep, stirred at the swirling light on his face and peered down at her questioningly with a drowsy hum.
"Rai…" her voice was just louder than a whisper, "Can you just wait a little longer?"
It took him a few moments to process what exactly she was asking but, when he caught on, there was an understanding, content smile that spread over Raido's face before he kissed her forehead, "Of course." The arm wrapped around her shoulders pulled her closer into his body and Kana willingly pressed into his warm body with a pleased sigh, dipping her head back down to rest on Raido's chest as to not continue blinding him.
Pale fingers tiptoed across the small part of his exposed belly, creeping under the edge of his t-shirt; the muscles twitched just a hair as the older man huffed half-heartedly at the tickling sensation. Kana smoothed her hand over his abdominals and smiled faintly at the feeling of his pulse from the aorta in his belly. There was a tiny dip next to it that told the tale of Raido being stabbed by a kunai - the idea of the blade coming this close to the abdominal aorta should have darkened her thoughts, but it only made her happy enough to know that she was lucky that he had survived it.
At the reminder of Raido's job, she frowned, "Are you okay?" she murmured, "The way you were earlier..."
The older man sighed, and covered her hand with his own, "Yeah... I think so. I just couldn't bring myself to look at you."
"Was it that bad?" Kana tried not to read too much into his statement and, instead, focused on how comforting it felt to feel the callouses on his thumb rub lazy circles into her hand; everything about him seemed to relax her.
There was another sigh as the arm around her tightened again, "There was a woman and her child... She looked like you," Raido whispered, pressing his face into her hair, "I stood there, staring, for so long that I almost was caught by the guards on my way out..."
So the whole reason he had been that upset wasn't because he wanted to be alone, it was because he didn't want to think about how it felt as if he had killed Kana. The shame she felt over the situation was nearly insurmountable, but she found herself being rolled onto her back when Kana tried to bury her face into Raido's chest. Warm, soft lips placed gentle kisses along her forehead, across her brow and down her nose, as if he were mapping out her face with his mouth as it brushed over her own in a ghost of a kiss. Glowing eyes closed at the tender sensation as a content sigh escaped Kana's lips; she loved this man so much.
The hand that had been placed on his stomach was pushed up his shirt in a subtle request that the kunoichi was nothing short of willing to fulfill. Kana's hand gingerly moved upwards along the perimeter of Raido's scars, stroking and tenderly rubbing at the marred flesh while listening to the soft sighs and sweet nothings he breathed into her ear. The comfortable weight of his body half-settling on top of hers in a reversal of their earlier position, with Raido placing lazy kisses wherever his lips could reach, made Kana's heart feel overfull with adoration for the man.
"I love you, Rairai," she whispered.
He looped an arm around her waist to pull their bodies closer, wrapping one of his legs around hers as he smiled into her jaw, "I love you, too, kitten."
Note: I didn't intend for this to make it into the story, but it was a scene I had been thinking about for a long time and when I sat down at the PC, it just sort of wrote itself. I decided to cover a few points that people PM me about, if anything to just iron out some stuff. Though I'm considering just rapid-firing the final chapters out so I can wrap up this story and start posting the next with the timeskip. But, at the same time, I just want to keep writing about happy fun times with Gen and the gang :c Maybe I'll update this with one-shot stories later down the road.