Chapter C – Confine. Caretaker. Chance.
In every relationship, there are several chapters that revolve the alphabets.
C is for Confine. Mines forever.
C is for Caretaker. I was born to be yours.
C is for Chance. Until we meet again.
C – Confine. Caretaker. Chance.
Drawn to Love: Confine.
Song : "Nagai Aida" by Kiroro
I'm sorry for making you wait such a long time.
I'm cursed. I can no longer sleep, eat, or breathe normally.
Always being unable to be together
I know I've made you feel lonely.
I sit awake throughout the night, on the edge of my bed and hopelessly staring at a photo of you. I wonder if you are awake, thinking hopelessly about me.
At the times when we can't meet
your voice cracks over the telephone.
I simply cannot eat. It does nothing to discontinue this infuriating flutter in my stomach. I wonder, are you feeling this void too?
The smile on your face that time when we met after so long
Tugs at my chest.
I stopped breathing the moment I met you. The way you wrinkle your nose when you're mad, the way your long blonde hair rest flawlessly against the sides of your face and the way you look at me, I lose all thought process.
I've realized that you are deep within my heart.
Aimlessly standing here, waiting outside in the middle of winter, this curse is horrible. Or perhaps, there is no curse. Perhaps, there is something the matter with me? Nonetheless, you are late.
Trusting only in that thing you said
I've been waiting until today.
My body is numb and I am impatient. And yet, I keep waiting for you. I will continue to blame this curse for it is unlike me to act this irrationally.
I pray I won't forget how to smile,
Because I want to be with you.
Finally, you arrive and like always, you apologize for making me wait. It's the curse; it's making a fool out of me. You laugh at this and lightly punch my shoulder, even when it was you who put this curse on me.
Because when I am with you, laughing, I can open up.
You tell me that you're under a curse too. It is a horrible curse that I put her under. I wonder if it is the same curse…
I've realized that you are deep within my heart.
Then, you tell me that there is only one way to break out of this curse. Well, what if… I don't want to break out of this curse? What if I want to remain a fool?
Even so… I can't imagine saying those words aloud.
You whisper words into my ear and I immediately don't feel any better. Single-handedly, you made me feel a lot worse. This is horrible.
"I love you too." I'm going to remain cursed forever.
Defender in Love: Caretaker.
Song : "Lion Heart" By SMAP
"I want to stay with you." You were always my medicine box, healing whatever pain I'm in. Now, that you are hurt, how can I possibly turn away? Happiness is no reason for me to leave.
"What can I do with this ordinary love?" You ask me so painfully. When I smile, you smile too. So, please stop crying and I'll stop too. There is no way that I'm leaving now, stop asking me.
To protect you, that's why I was born
You won't believe, how long I'll stay by your side
As I watch you sleep my heart trembles, Lion Heart
I told you before, or should I tell you again? When we have a child, someday, I'll tell him 'You're the second most precious thing in the world. Someday, you'll meet a woman of your own, just like how I met Mama.' Stop lying to yourself. I know how much you want to be with me because I know how much I want to be with you.
"So much lies… so much false loves." You still don't understand. You're not alone. I'm here now.
I'll bury away all those things you lost
Your warmth taught me love
The unchanging morning is your small heart, Angel Heart
"You'll be amazed at how long I will stay by your side." It's my turn to keep you warm. Grasping your shaking hands in mines; just let me show you how much I love you.
To protect you, that's why I was born
You won't believe, how long I'll stay by your side
As I watch you sleep my heart trembles, Lion Heart
I give you my heart and all I ask is your lovely heart in return.
Driven for Love: Chance.
Song : "Nada Sou Sou" By Natsukawa Rimi
You left me alone. Now, all that I have of you are memories that bring tears to my eyes. Although left behind, I still want to thank you for creating them with me.
Deep in my heart you have come, come to live
Sure as the sun to see me through
You were supposed to come back, rain or shine. Now, it hurts when droplets splash against my window still. Shelter me always with your love. Instead this window is keeping the rain from joining my tears.
However far your memories may fade
Traces of you I hope to find
You appear only in my dreams. Now, I can't wait to shut my eyes and see you. If it is the only way, then I wish to never wake so you and I will always be. I don't care as long as you are there with me.
I wish on a star, the first star of the night
You'll find me here every evening of the year
You won't come back to me, not until you find what you are looking for. So, I will continue to wait for you, continue to love you with all of my heart, and continue to miss you so… my loving memory.
AN: Japanese songs are the best! Just breaking out of my writing habits and trying out POVs. It's hard...