Chapter 8: Limits
"Blood and pristine linen don't mix," Damon commented as Elena appeared in his doorway with those very items.
"I just wanted to make sure you had both of these at hand," she deposited them on the bedside table.
"You don't have to," he protested, not being used to being pampered.
"I want to," Elena started to strip the bed.
"You want to be my little servant?" Damon's eyes glinted with roguishness.
"Like Emily?" The words left Elena before she could stop herself, a trace of jealousy detectable in her voice.
Damon shrugged, "it was not unusual for young masters to sleep with their servants. In fact you were thought of as strange in gentlemen's circles if you didn't gather that experience."
Elena sighed. So human Damon Salvatore was also a womanising charmer. "Was she your first?"
"Uhm, no. Why?"
"No reason," Elena finished changing the pillowcases, shaped them in presumably comfortable contours and turned to face him determined. What she had in mind had to be dealt with and what's more it was way overdue. He had been sorrowful and miserable over this long enough. "Katherine just threatened my life if I don't handle you with kid gloves."
Damon rolled his eyes, his nostrils flaring in irritance, "the damn bitch will not be able to lay a hand on you, I promise you that! We'll have her one good day..."
"You're not listening!" Elena interrupted, "I'm sure she meant her threats, but you're missing the point. She wanted me not hurt you in any way. She came back to save you and not for the first time, when she didn't have to. What I'm trying to say is that I know, I see, I can feel and experience through her actions that she loves you, no matter what else she might say at times."
A slow, conceding smile spread on Damon's face, "I know that. It is love, yes, at least in her own way."
"And how do you feel about that?" Elena asked timidly. She really didn't really want to hear about him still having feelings for the vampire.
Damon shrugged, "I consider us quits. As much as we have wronged each other in the past, it is all been paid for in one way or another. Katherine can do a good team effort when she wants to."
Elena gulped in apprehension, "that is certainly a far cry from I-hate-that-bitch's-guts," she shook her head, "and you both lied about your feelings for each other."
"Told you we make a good team," Damon winked, making the young girl's heart sink. But she had to know before making her final move, "it is possible that one day she'll come back and ask you to ride into the sunset with her."
"She already did," Damon dished casually, mixing himself a glass of blood with alcohol.
"What?" Elena jumped. She didn't like how Damon still kept quite a lot to himself.
"You sometimes accuse me of pushing you away, yet I could claim the same. And one of those times, you know right before Klaus put you in the hospital, Katherine just came by at the right time. I was all set to leave with her, we already driven about sixty miles away. But I realised she just doesn't do it for me anymore," he shrugged.
"But you don't just stop loving people you missed for one and half centuries," Elena said somewhat eristic, hoping so much he'd contradict her.
"I know I won't," Damon agreed, sounding uninterested in the subject, "don't concern yourself with Katherine too much, I can assure you, it's not her my heart has to worry about."
"Do you mean that I really hurt you a lot sometimes, don't you?" The brunette countered defensively.
"Do you really need affirmative confirmation on that?" Damon rolled his eyes.
Elena hung her head, feeling guilty, "I wish I was prudent and political enough not to hurt anyone."
"What gives you the idea I would like you all wise and political?" The vampire remarked, just as bad at accepting apologies as giving them.
The girl however, didn't let herself being shaken off, "I'm sorry Damon. Hurting you was accidental, but if it makes it all better, I will admit that I messed up in so many ways. Judged things and people wrong, made the wrong choices, tried to keep inside my fairytale world just so I don't have to see what I didn't want to see. It doesn't mean I don't..that I don't have feelings for you, it's just that life's so confusing and I don't know what to do half the time," she garbled, shaking, "I keep finding out about things that I never thought could exist, nothing is ever going the way I'd want it to be. Just when you think you did right, something bad comes from it. Why do things that shouldn't happen, happen? Life always gives me these twists and turns and I'm tired of it. I'm just tired of it. I don't know what else to do.."
"Hey, hey," Damon closed the space between them in one swift motion, taking her hands in his, "you're wonderful Elena. You're dealing with the supernatural and everything else very well under the circumstances, don't worry about that. Life is not fair, it is true and I'm sorry I can't protect you from all of that."
The young woman shook her head forcefully, tears springing up in her eyes at the comfort he offered again and without fail, "but you do protect me from everything you can and I don't even deserve it," she was crying, head bent in embarrassment towards his chest, the delayed emotions of helplessness over her situation surfacing.
Damon held her face in his hands, raising her head to make her look in his eyes, "I'm not going to pull you up about human mistakes. You were the one, the only one on this godforsaken Earth who saw the good in me and believed in me, that I could still be the man I once was. I will never forget that and I will always love you for that."
Elena searched his eyes, unsure. There was so much adoration in his eyes, it was hard not to take comfort in their warmth. "Just hold me Damon. Make me feel safe."
His expression softened from serious to tenderhearted. She would be worried about the dangers of a supernatural world, specially Stefan, but any more talking about those would not make it any easier for her, so he just kissed her forehead and slowly pulled her into the warm, comforting hug of his strong arms. With his heat, his presence, his scent wrapped around her, Elena instinctively leant into his embrace, her arms going round his waist the same way, drawing him deeper towards herself. Neither of them really knew when holding and comforting with arms turned into lips, but the kiss was a natural evolution of both of them letting their feelings show. He still fingered her hair gently with his fingertips, she clasped onto him tightly as tongues entwined and lapped each other and Damon became aware that she had quickly managed to undo his belt buckle without much difficulty. "What are you doing?" He released his hold on her and looked her in the eyes again.
"What's right."
Damon watched her with curious anticipation as she got rid of his belt, undid his flier and pulled the fresh shirt out his trousers he'd just put on minutes ago. His breathing deepened, his tongue wet his lower lip, parting slightly in want, yet he didn't dare to touch her just yet. He had to believe before acting on his feelings. If Elena wanted him out of some sort of desperation for safety or a sense of duty to him, it was all a lie. He was going to give her what she needed, whatever it was, no doubt, regardless of the reasons she visibly demanded intimacy, yet just like with asking Katherine of her feelings once when it really mattered, he had to know. He stopped her hands running on his chest under the fabric, taking them in his fists instead, "wait, stop. Elena, stop. You know I love you. I just need to know one thing. Please. You've always been honest with me, so tell me.."
"Yes Damon, yes, I love you," she looked up at him, tears threatening to fall again, "please forgive me. I didn't mean to hurt you."
It took Damon a moment to take that in. Then he breathed out, his soul leaving him for a moment and doing a waltz somewhere up in the clouds. His hand reached up to her cheek and he pulled her in for a kiss, whispering her name. It felt like sparks, intoxicating them with the energy of sweet liberation, a taste they relished like no other. Their lips never left each other's either when Damon took her round the shoulders and waist and carried her over to the bed.
He'd never been so happy in his entire life.
The End.