When we get off of the train, Tobias takes my hand and laces his fingers with mine. The other initiates start running toward the edge of the building eager to head into the Pit to join the rest of the Dauntless members for the party. There are cheers and whistles as each member jumps after the other down onto the net that is the member's entrance to Dauntless headquarters. Tobias and I stand by the other edge of the building, letting the initiates get into the building before we do. We want this time alone and the time alone, it's something that I tend to want more and more of. Sometimes I feel like I only get a few moments with him before we're bombarded by some tragedy or error that takes us away from our conversation.

I can hear the music from the Pit all the way up here, it's blasting through the open windows and on the glass ceiling of the Pit I can see the dancing flames of fire that give light to the members below. I am not sure if Tobias will want to go later tonight…but given how things have gone the past few days, alone and stressed out, I think maybe a party would be good for us. Tobias has spent so much time looking after me the past few days, and in addition to news that I just laid down on him, I might need to keep away from parties and large crowds. Who knew who we had to worry about that were members of Dauntless? They always threw parties on random nights and tonight wasn't any different. At least not for everyone here. They didn't know the truth, of what had been going on. It was just like an entire year had disappeared without anyone knowing the difference. How was is that I had lost a year and everyone was none the wiser? I must have been lost in thought because I feel Tobias squeeze my hand and I'm pulled out of my reverie and I look at him.

"Are you okay?" he asks me, his eyebrows coming together questioningly.

I let out a breath that I didn't even realize that I had been holding in and nod. "Yeah, of course," I answer, forcing a smile onto my lips.

He raises a brow at me. "Tris."

"Tobias."

He cracks a smile and stops walking, pulling me into a quick kiss. "Do you want to go to the party?" he asks.

"Do you?"

"It doesn't matter what I want," he says. "I asked you what you wanted to do."

I bite my lip. "Is it wise?" I ask him. "Given everything…"

"Everything is the exact reason why we should be doing this."

"I know, but…"

"Tris, Tori said she was going to take care of things, didn't she?" I nod. "She's taking care of things…and you and I, we have tonight."

I stare up at him. With everything that I've gone through with him, with everyone since the day that I let my blood fall into the coal fire of Dauntless, things have been a never ending whirlwind. Training, running, fighting for my life to try to and fit in to a place where I had struggled to make a name for myself. I belong here. This is my home and these are my people and anyone who tries to take that away from me…I don't want to have to deal with it. But there are people who want to see me fall and who want to see me struggle. And that's what I've been going through since day one. But through it all, Tobias has been a constant for me. Sure, we had our issues where he lies or I lie, but despite it all, I know who he is and he knows who I am. Even now, where he's still not one hundred percent sure, he's jumping in with me. No questions asked, no looking back, he's with me. And I know that I have these doubts, and that I wake up in the middle of the night, thinking that I'm going to lose everything. And it scares the hell out me. Because lying on the floor, after David shot me, thinking that that was it? That my life was over, and the last thing that I had said to Tobias was that I loved him would have to be enough. Because that was all I got. Time had officially run out on me.

But this? Now? Was this a punishment? Or was this some miraculous gift given to me by some unknown force? Trying to figure out who's behind it, or trying to figure out the why? It seems impossible and to be honest, thinking about it, makes me realize just how lucky I am to be here. No matter what the circumstances are, no matter who doesn't remember or who hates me now because of choices that I made, I'm here. I am alive and I am with Tobias. And being with him…it makes me feel alive.

Knowing that I have him, I feel safe. I feel calm and at ease because I know that nothing can hurt me as bad as I've already been hurt. My soul has endured so much pain and heartache that it's close to being immune to the suffering that people want me to face. But I know better now.

"I can't…" I start, but the emotion in my throat stops me, so I cough to clear it before starting again. "I can't do this without you."

Tobias' blue eyes soften as he looks down at me. He cups my cheeks in his hands and leans down to kiss me. "You never have to," he whispers against my lips.

I close my eyes and sigh against his lips as I pull back. I look up at him and hug him tightly. He kisses my head and leads me over to the ledge. "I'll go first…I'll catch you."

I shake my head at him. "That was bad."

He laughs. "I know," he says kissing my cheek before jumping off of the ledge and disappearing from view.

I stare after him, completely shocked. I had never thought that I would see him do that. Ever. Sure, he had climbed the Ferris wheel with me earlier tonight, but this was jumping off of the side of a building. I stand there for longer than I should have, because I hear Tobias' voice calling up to me from down below. I grin. "Coming!" I call out before climbing up onto the ledge and jumping off. My breath leaves my throat as the net shoots me back up into the air. I'm laughing when I finally calm down and Tobias pulls the net and pulls me up off of the net.

"I can't believe that you jumped," I tell him. "How many times have you done that?"

Tobias grins at me and he shrugs. "A few times," he said. "But not in over a year."

"What changed?" I ask him.

He looks down at me and kisses me again. "I don't know," he says. "I just figure that it was something I had to do."

"Are you okay?" I ask. "You didn't even hesitate."

"Oh I did," he says chuckling. "I just pretended otherwise."

I shake my head and smile up at him. "You're crazy, you know that?"

He shrugs. "I will take that as a compliment."

He jumps down from the platform and he reaches up to grab my hand and helps me down.

"Oh yeah, you do that."

He takes my hand and guides me toward the stairs leading into the Pit. "I will."