"Just get back from a mission?"
Kana stopped in the alley she had been walking through to look over her shoulder with a hand hovering over her hip pouch. The hand dropped down to her side when she saw who it was before she turned to face him, "Yeah. On my way to turn it in," she answered quietly.
Raido's welcoming smile faltered when he took in the tightness in her shoulders, and the hard edge in her voice, "Did it go alright?"
From behind her mask, the kunoichi's frown deepened, "You know I can't talk about it," she folded her arms over her bloodied vest as she spoke, "Why are you out this late?"
"Just got back from turning in my own mission report," he answered as he raised the brown paper bag that he carried, "Stopped by the liquor store on my way back."
Kana was silent while she took in his appearance, really paying attention to the details as opposed to just glancing at him.
Disheveled hair stuck up in every direction, even more so than usual, and dirt stained Raido's flak jacket. The kunoichi could see some dried mud on his jersey sleeve, as well as a little bit of blood on his neck that looked as if he had tried to wipe it away but only accomplished in smearing it around. Concern settled onto her chest like a heavy weight when she noticed how Raido was cradling the bag of alcohol in his left elbow despite being right handed. He was favoring his right side.
With a step forward, Kana pushed her Anbu mask to the side to get a better look at him, "You're hurt. Are you okay?"
Raido's eyes drifted to the ground at the question, "I'm fine. I just took a couple of shuriken to the arm, but…" his eyes rose to meet hers again, "I could use some company, if you're interested."
'Company?' The kunoichi searched his face. Dark, almost black eyes were tight, and his eyebrows were slightly pushed together in a sign of stress. Suddenly, it all made sense. The blood, the forced smile he wore, the alcohol, the rigidity of his posture… Raido's mission had been a bad one.
Kana hesitated at the invitation, though. Other than Neji, the only people whose places she ever went to were Kakashi or Guy – maybe Lee's if he really needed something. Genma asked once but, unlike his chunin friends, never invited her again when she had rejected it. The idea of being in someone else's apartment felt weird; Kana was still getting used to living outside of the barracks in her own apartment, two months later.
It didn't help that she was still on edge from the mission she had just gotten back from…
Green eyes looked down at the blood that drenched her vest and made the fabric of her pants cling to her legs. Kana was hardly in any shape to just crack open a beer and watch a movie with a friend…
"Here, let's do this since we live in the same building," Raido started, probably able to sense her hesitation, "I'll head back to my place alone and get cleaned up. If you want, come by when you're ready," he readjusted the paper back and began to turn back to the street, "If not, it's no big deal."
Kana hesitated for a few more moments before nodding and jumping onto a rooftop in silence.
Water-soaked hair clung to her shoulders and back as Kana dried herself off with a towel she had snuck out of the barracks. Barrack towels were nice and light – totally different from the ones that the two home supply stores carried, which were fluffy and heavy. It had been silly, but the idea of using a different type of towel felt weird.
Speaking of weird, what was she going to do about Raido?
The kunoichi finished drying off her body and wrung out her hair with a frown. She liked him, she really did. He was a great shinobi, one that she greatly respected as a fellow assassin, and Raido always had a quiet, calm air around him that was actually kind of relaxing, if Kana was honest with herself. He wasn't like the chunin, who were always teasing and full of energy.
It might actually help to have him around… Gods knew she wasn't going to be sleeping tonight, anyways. Not like this.
'I could always just leave if it's weird…' Kana thought to herself while stepping into a clean pair of underwear. Raido was right in saying that they lived in the same building – he was just two floors up and a few apartments down the hall. If things were really that uncomfortable then she could just jump over the railing and be back home in a few seconds.
The thought was reassuring, and was what made up Kana's mind as she finished dressing herself. Now the only thing to figure out was what she was supposed to bring over. Guy had explained that it was customary to bring over some sort of gift when you were visiting someone's home as a thank-you for being invited, but… Kana didn't have anything that could be used as a gift – hell, she didn't even really decorate – and all of the shops were closed at this time of night.
She padded through the narrow hall of her apartment to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. Maybe she could make something? Raido seemed kind of the simple type that went for practicality over luxury, so he might appreciate a nice meal…
But that might take too long. How long was he going to wait for her? It had already been forty-five minutes since they had parted ways in the alley. Would he just go to sleep if she didn't drop by? Was there a time window Kana needed to meet?
Fuck, she should have just said no and gone home like she had intended! This shit was too damn complicated!
Before Kana could continue to wrack her brains over it, her eyes settled on the chicken she had pulled down before her mission so they could thaw by the time she would be back. Tonkatsu would only take maybe half an hour, and she could make some spring rolls to go with it... Perfect!
A clone appeared in a small cloud of smoke and began pulling out cooking ware as Kana grabbed the ingredients she would need. Carrots, chicken, cucumber, daikon…
There was still a hard tension in her shoulders and a knot in her stomach but, for the first time in what felt like years, she felt… Excited. As her clone sliced the various vegetables into thin strips while she breaded the chicken, Kana was biting back a grin. When was the last time she had cooked for someone other than Guy or the kids?
When she had made lunch for Itachi less than twelve hours before he left the village.
Oil splashed up from the pan when Kana dropped the panko-covered chicken into it, still boiling even as it dripped down her hand. The clone vanished and she yanked her hand back with a curse to put it under the kitchen faucet. So much for being in a good mood…
There was a thump at her door, followed by some shuffling, that caught her attention just as she returned to the cooking. With a flash of the Kurogan she could see that it was Raido, but what was he doing? He wasn't knocking or saying anything…
Kana created another clone to handle the food before closing the distance between her and the door, opening it and nearly knocking the tokujo out of the way, "What are you doing?"
Raido gave her a sheepish look, as if he had been caught doing something wrong, and motioned towards the door, "I was leaving you a note…" He reached over and picked it off of the door to crumple it into a ball, "Guess it doesn't matter anymore."
A note? She activated her Kurogan and very, very carefully attempted to scan the slip of paper, but it was too wrinkled and smushed together to make any sense so Kana quickly gave up, "What was it?" she asked curiously.
"It occurred to me that I may have made you uncomfortable, so I wanted to apologize and-"
"No – no!" she cut Raido off and wrapped a drying lock of hair around her finger, "I'm sorry, I'm just… I don't – I mean, I should've just said yes, and… But I was kinda nervous and – uh – you didn't do anything wrong, really…" Kana trailed off when the clone padded up to the genkan to say that the food was all done.
The man raised a curious eyebrow when she disappeared in a cloud of smoke, "You made food?"
She tugged on the grey lock of hair and felt herself blush, "Uh… My dad… He said that people bring gifts over, and – I – uh – I don't really have anything and everything's closed so I thought I'd make some food since you probably haven'teatenand tonkatsuisacomfortfoodand we'rebothprettystressedsoIfigureditwouldbefitting –"
Raido chuckled and raised a hand to rub her arm, "I appreciate it, but you didn't have to bring anything," he said with a calm smile, "I meant what I said earlier – I really just wanted to spend some time with you."
The heat in her cheeks intensified and Kana's eyes drifted downwards to the hand resting on her arm. It was large enough to cover nearly half of her upper arm, and warm. She noticed how the tanned skin of his fingers and forearm were smooth, as opposed to the wealed flesh that made up a third of Raido's face, and Kana couldn't help but wonder where the scarring ended. Just below the collar? She looked up to his elbow where a black athletic sleeve stopped; that must be it.
The warm weight of Raido's hand was suddenly gone, snapping her out of her musings, and she looked up in alarm. Had she done something wrong? She didn't voice her thoughts, did she?
"Did you ever notice how, when you start thinking, you start fidgeting and pulling on your hair?" he asked with a knowing grin, nodding at the hand that was practically yanking on the chunk of hair that was rapidly changing color.
Kana released the lock and turned into the genkan, "I'll get the food and then we can go."
The clone had arranged everything into matching bento boxes she normally used for her shared meals with Neji or Lee, with the tonkatsu nestled into large servings of rice, so she just picked them both up and rushed back to the door with her keys in hand. Raido was peering at her curiously but fell into step with Kana and walked wordlessly through the open breezeway.
As they walked Kana was acutely aware of how natural everything felt, even if her stomach twisted a little when they turned a corner and his arm accidentally brushed against hers. Even through the strong scent of whatever body wash Raido had used during his shower, they were close enough for her to notice how he smelled like wood and musk…
It was sort of fitting, she noted, as she stole a glance at his face. Strong, calm and masculine - if she were ever asked to describe him, those would be the three words Kana could choose.
Just as Kana risked drifting in closer to get another whiff of that comforting scent, to feel the warmth emanating off of his body, he suddenly came to an abrupt halt and she bumped into the back of his arm with a small surprised sound.
Raido looked over his shoulder as she backed away with the same amused curious expression as before, one eyebrow raised and the smallest of smiles playing on the corners of his mouth, "You alright?"
It wasn't as if she could admit to trying to literally ninja her way in to sniff his back like a weirdo, so Kana just mumbled something about being tired and followed the tokujo into his apartment. Unsurprisingly enough, the apartment was plainly decorated: There was a coat hanger and simple table next to the door that were currently being used to hold Raido's flak jacket and forehead protector, a small round table in the kitchen, and a single sofa in the living room that sat directly across from a television set and a coffee table.
In short, it wasn't too different from Kana's apartment, which was decorated the same way with the exception of her small bookcase in the living room.
"Do you like detective shows?"
Raido's question snapped her out of her scrutinizing, and she looked up from the sealed windowsill to watch him wave her over to the sofa he had dropped into.
"Uh… I don't really watch television," Kana admitted as she took her place on the edge of the furniture, "I usually just read, or train, when I'm not with Neji…" She decided to leave out how she also frequently stalked Itachi's little brother.
With an interested hum, Raido cracked open a beer – when the hell did he get that? – and flipped the TV on, "It's no trashy romance novel but, if you're interested, there's this show I've been hooked on lately that you'll probably like."
Trashy romance novel? "Icha Icha isn't just smut, you know," she murmured disapprovingly.
Out of the corner of her eye she could see the man smile quietly and shrug as Kana opened up their bento boxes, "You'll have to educate me one day, then."
Toggling the television's mute, Raido took the commercial break to get her up to speed with the current story arc. Apparently there was some sort of serial killer that was filling his victims with earth-style techniques and leaving them in bizarre positions throughout the village that this arc took place in.
"I don't understand something – if this is a show about police work, why are the creators focusing so much on the romance between the two main characters?"
With his chopsticks half-raised, he shrugged and paused in bringing the fried chicken to his mouth, "Some say it's for character depth. Others admit that it's to appeal to the female audience," he answered nonchalantly, "Most detective shows do it."
Kana made a face but didn't want to rain on Raido's parade as the opening scene began to play. Chances were, she was still going to be completely lost despite his efforts, and it would be rude to make a fuss over something as silly as a television show. Instead, she focused on satisfying the hunger that was beginning to make her growling stomach ache.
The salty crunch of the fried chicken was like a godsend to her starving taste buds, which had been exposed to only rations during her two week-long mission, and Kana knew that she had made the right decision in making it.
Next to her, Raido must have felt the same way because he emitted a pleased hum as he took his first bite and asked, "Holy shit, this is good. You made this?"
She nodded wordlessly before swallowing the mouthful and reaching for the second beer bottle that rested on the coffee table, "I cook for the kids all the time. I like to think I'm okay at it."
"Okay? Kana, if my mom were alive to hear this she'd gut me but this is probably the best tonkatsu I've ever had," he said incredulously. Kana opened her mouth to tease him about laying it on thick, but decided against it when she saw just how pleased he really seemed to be as he took a second, then third bite.
Pride swelled in her chest like a blooming flower at the sight of the tokujo, normally so calm and quiet, eat her cooking with that much enjoyment, and she had to lean over for the beer set in front of her to hide the way her lips twitched upwards. The smile quickly melted at the bitter taste of the dark, spiced beer that spread over her tongue, and Kana grimaced before setting the bottle back down where she had picked it up. Beer really wasn't her drink of choice – she typically went for sake or cocktails when out with the others – but she had tried to make an effort out of politeness and respect for Raido. Maybe if he went to the bathroom during a commercial break she could just chug the entire bottle and get it over w-
"Not a beer person?"
Well, shit.
Green eyes rose to give Raido a sheepish expression; it was the type of look that a dog would give a human after stealing their food. She didn't want to blatantly say that she thought beer tasted like piss and ass, but… It was true.
Instead of looking offended Raido just chuckled and set the bento down before pushing himself up off of the sofa, "No big deal, I can drink it – Gen and Kotetsu usually want to get drunk off their asses after tough missions," he explained while pulling a plastic cup from a cupboard, "Since you spend a lot of time with them, I figured you would want to do the same thing. Do you want liquor, or water?"
Kana frowned, "Water, please. And I don't spend that much time with them…" Did she?
"Maybe not, but it's rare to see you on your own these days," he answered, handing her the cup that she took with a quiet thanks, "If you aren't walking around the village with Gen in the mornings, you're smacking the chunin or hanging out with genin."
She mulled over the last few months as she sipped the water graciously. Sure enough, most of her recent memories that weren't mission-related or of her training were of time spent with someone next to her.
When had Kana become so… Sociable?
Either Raido didn't notice her contemplative expression, or he chose to ignore it. He turned down the volume of the television and angled his body so that they were mostly facing each other before asking, "Speaking of which, you said that you cook for your kids...?"
Kana was immediately pulled out of her musings, and she snapped her head up in stark horror, "God no – they aren't my kids."
"So you cook for other peoples' children?"
His tone was serious, but there was an amused glint in Raido's eyes that told her that he was preparing to unleash an onslaught of teasing. Instead of getting flustered, the kunoichi just rolled her eyes and reached out to pinch his arm with a grin of her own.
"Two of them don't know how to cook on their own, yet, so if I don't then they usually end up eating boxed meals," she explained between mouthfuls of spring roll, "One of them just likes the attention, though. He's been pretty fussy about spending more time together." While his public demeanor was cool and calm, Neji was kind of a brat in private.
The tokujo still looked confused but was too busy washing down the last of his tonkatsu with a long swig of beer. Was he waiting for her to keep explaining? Was he wanting her to shut up so he could watch his show?
When Kana realized that she had been staring at him for a good long while, and he had been staring back with a raised eyebrow, she quickly averted her eyes and turned her face towards the television screen where the female lead was sneaking through some abandoned building. She muttered a half-coherent apology and finished off the last of her spring roll.
"Did I make you uncomfortable? I'm sorry," she could feel Raido's eyes on her as he spoke, "I don't want you to feel like you have to say anything – I know you've had a rough couple of days."
Suddenly feeling silly for assuming he was sick of her talking, Kana's blush deepened and she sighed into the hands she brought up to rub at her tired eyes, "No, I'm sorry. I… It's just... Hard, still."
Raido's hand smoothed over her shoulder to squeeze it reassuringly, "You want to talk about it?"
Yeah, as if talking was one of her strong suits… She leaned forward to rest her elbows on her knees, head still cradled in her hands, and heard the tokujo lower the volume of the television to where it was nothing but soft murmurs in the background.
The hand on her shoulder slid away for a brief moment as Raido set his empty bottle on the table, only to return when he scooted closer onto the sofa.
"I get it," he said softly, "Let's just sit here for a bit."
And sit, they did. The two spent the next several minutes resting on the sofa, with Kana slowly beginning to relax under the arm slung over her shoulders for the first time since returning to the village. There was something incredibly soothing about the man next to her; whether it be his calm demeanor or the way he seemed to make her feel like they've known each other for years, she didn't know. All Kana knew was that her hands had finally stopped twisting around each other, and the exhausted headache pulsating behind her eyes began to ebb away into nothingness.
What part of her wasn't entirely relaxed was hyperaware of how this was probably the closest she had been to anyone other than the kids. Genma always kept a safe, friendly distance when they hung out, and the chunin were usually hanging all over each other. Hayate, oddly enough, was the only one that seemed to feel comfortable enough to walk close enough for their arms to touch, but that was probably because he was confident that she wouldn't get the wrong idea; it wasn't as if the entire damn village knew that he was head-over-heels in love with Yuugao or anything...
Either way, the realization resulted in the return of a light flush that crossed her cheeks, and Kana payed particularly close attention to their legs, which were almost close enough to touch. The longer she stared, the more overwhelming the urge to find out what he felt like became. It was a violent reversal from what Kana normally did, instinctively twitching away from other people and dodging any physical contact that wasn't absolutely necessary. She wasn't entirely sure why, but she just really, really wanted to slide her hand over his leg just to feel if it was as warm and strong as the rest of his body was.
The thought made her cheeks flush, something that would happen many more times over the course of that evening. When had she begun to notice how he looked? When did she ever care?
A distant, vague memory curled into the forefront of her consciousness like the smoke of a flame that had just been put out. The previous year, when she had first properly met Genma and Raido at the jonin bar, Kana had a rather... Sordid dream about the two of them. All that remained in her memory was a handful of blurry flashes but, from what she could remember, Dream Raido had strong, comforting arms and a bedroom voice that almost completely distracted her from what was a very noticeable pain.
Was that when she started paying attention to other people? No, that couldn't be right. Even if the dream liked to tickle her with reminders every now and again, it wasn't as if she had ever paid any mind to it. Kana didn't flirt or go on dates and didn't waste time checking people out... Well, not in the Icha Icha fashion, in any case. Jiraiya always wrote attraction to be something that was akin to being lit on fire and put under a genjutsu - taking up all of your time and brain space and tricking you into being fantastic while actually being really detrimental.
Did it still count when you would just sneak glances at someone? Was watching them move and talk the same was checking someone out? If you made a mental note of someone's attractiveness, was that the same as thinking they're hot? Because, the more Kana thought about it, the more she realized that she was guilty of indulging herself in what the main character of Icha Icha had drinks thrown in his face over.
Still, she couldn't tear her eyes away from the way Raido's pants pulled where the knee bent. She needed to know what it was like to touch him, even just barely, as opposed to the friendly pats and arm rubs he graced her with.
Against all better judgement, and using shinobi-trained stealth, Kana's hand drifted over to rest on the sofa so that it only just barely grazed the denim fabric of his jeans. When he didn't respond at the initial contact, she swallowed thickly and waited several seconds before very, very slowly running a knuckle along what part of the outer seam she could reach without getting his attention.
Ever the greedy woman, she decided that a glancing touch wasn't enough to satisfy her curiosity. Even if she could feel how warm and firm his thigh was through the thick fabric that covered it, Kana felt as if she had been starving for months, and had only been allowed a crumb. With a slow, steady breath, she lifted her wrist and began to brush the back of her hand over the curve of his thigh.
Dimly, she was aware of how she was holding her breath. Kana was unsure of why she was so surprised to feel the strong, taught muscles that came from years of regular training beneath the skin that was stretched tight over it, but she couldn't stop herself from feeling a heated thrill run down her spine. The way Raido's hitched when her hand turned over, palm smoothing over the top of his leg and fingertips brushing over the more sensitive inner thigh, told Kana that he had definitely noticed her movements, and she froze completely to wait for the crash that was sure to come.
Suddenly grey hair flopped over her face and shoulder, causing her to flinch in surprise and peer up at the tokujo questioningly. He gave her an apologetic grin and tried to push the hair back only for it to defiantly fall back over her eyes.
"I, uh, wanted to see if it was as soft as it looked," he admitted sheepishly.
The jonin blinked at him for a few long moments; she didn't even notice Raido had been touching her hair in the first place. When the initial shock of her own lack of observation skills had passed, Kana brought a hand up to stifle the fit of laughter that threatened to bubble over.
She had been so focused on their proximity, and being sneaky in bringing her hand over to touch his leg, that Kana hadn't realized that Raido was giving absolutely no fucks about subtlety. Still giggling at her needless caution, Kana pulled at the black band that secured what was left of the braid and shook out the now-dry hair with her fingertips. When it was properly combed through and resting over her shoulders in neat waves, the kunoichi dropped her hands into her lap and flashed a smile that was both shy and inviting.
With an embarrassed chuckle himself, Raido reached out to run his hand through the locks of hair that were rapidly shifting between shades of silver.
"Does it bother you?" he asked moments later in a voice that was only slightly louder than a whisper, "The way it changes colors?"
Kana closed her eyes and allowed herself to give into the subliminal desire to lean into the palm that was cradling the side of her face, savoring the sensation of Raido's fingers combing through her hair. It took her a few moments to even realize that he had asked something, and it took even longer for her to focus on anything other than the way the heat in his hand relaxed the tight knot in her back that had been bothering her for weeks.
"Yeah… I hate not being able to just keep my emotions to myself," she admitted, "But henge won't affect my hair, and… I think the others are thankful for it."
Raido hummed in understanding and ran his fingers through the long tresses, wrapping them around his hand and letting them slip away as he did.
"It doesn't help that people always make a fuss over it," Kana grumbled, more to herself than to the man that brought his hand back up to the top of her head, "Everyone has to make a comment on the way it changes color, trying to use it against me when I want to keep quiet about something, or making some joke about being grayscale."
Freezing halfway down, Raido asked, "Shit, did I-"
Kana had done it entirely on impulse – it was something she was used to doing with Lee, who had a bad habit of rambling on until someone forced him to shut the hell up. She reached up to the tokujo's face with both hands, cupping his cheeks in her palms, and pressed both of her thumbs over his lips to get him to stop talking.
"Quit worrying about upsetting me, Rai."
The heat from the light blush that tinged his cheeks came just before the color did, and they both stared at each other in silence for a good long minute. Kana had somehow become frozen in that position, but felt her own cheeks flush as her heart fluttered as her eyes dropped down to her hands - particularly, her thumbs. They were still pressing into his lips to hold them shut and Kana had to struggle to find the presence of mind to ease up on the pressure as to not accidentally bruise him. Lee typically required enough force to break a tooth to get him to stop talking, and she had accidentally assumed that the rule also applied to Raido. Instead, she recalibrated so that her thumbs were just barely touching his mouth.
And, gods, was it soft. Raido's lips were thin, but they were also soft and full and warm… Kana could feel how cold her own fingertips were in comparison and couldn't stop herself from giving into the urge to brush the scarred pad of her thumb over that soft flesh.
There must have been a small amount of moisture still on his mouth from his beer, however, because as soon as she moved her thumb, his bottom lip stuck for just half of a second. The end result of her accidental tug was Raido's lips being parted with a soft wet sound that made Kana's cheeks feel like her head had been turned into a furnace when she saw just how good he looked with his mouth open like that, lips just parted enough for her to see where the skin transitioned from light to dark pink.
Raido's breath ghosted over her thumbs, and she was now acutely aware of how the hand in her hair had completely stopped and was now cupping the back of her neck with only the slightest amount of pressure. They didn't part earlier, so they were still sitting side-by-side, and Kana was so fixated on the proximity of their torsos that it never occurred to her just how close their faces were in this position.
He was close enough for her to smell the beer he had finished… How long ago? How long had they been sitting like this?
Green eyes drifted up to meet his own, which were smoldering and staring back at her with an unfamiliar intensity that caused a warmth to stir between her legs. Still, Kana didn't remove her hands from his face, only moving one thumb to the corner of his mouth so the other had more room to move.
The rise and fall of Raido's broad chest mirrored her own shallow breathing as she brushed over his bottom lip, following the outer perimeter of the delicate pink flesh with only the softest of glancing touches. Kana followed through with the action after reaching the crease by extending her thumb up just a tad so it could reach his top lip; Raido's eyes darkened at the gesture and the hand on the back of her neck shifted to grab a fistful of hair.
He didn't tug or pull, but his grip was firm enough to hold Kana's head in place – she wouldn't be able to turn away from his gaze even if she wanted to. The subtle display of dominance was enough to cause her heart to race and her already shallow breathing to hitch, a small sound which sounded foreign in her own ears passing through her lips.
Even if it sounded alien to her, the soft mewl clearly had a heated impact on Raido, who tightened the fist he had entangled in her hair and groaned quietly into the thumb that nudged his upper lip so that his lips parted again. His other hand dropped down to grip her thigh, eliciting another flash of arousal to rush through her body.
Kana's consciousness honed in on the points where they were connected – the palms still cupping Raido's face, the shared heat from their thighs being pressed together, the large, calloused hand that was running back and forth from her knee to the hem of her shorts… It was like the rest of her body had reorganized her nerve endings to exist only where Raido was touching her, and Kana dropped one hand down to his shoulder to squeeze it in some desperate attempt at relieving some of the sexual tension that was building inside of her.
Without warning, the tokujo sucked in a harsh breath and twisted away from her hand with an uncharacteristic expression of skittering panic written all over his features. Kana suddenly remembered that he had been favoring one of his arms earlier, which had a bloodied sleeve that proved he had been injured, and tried to remember which one had been injured as she jerked her arms back and offered hurried apologies.
"No, no, you didn't hurt me," he whispered, still looking incredibly unsettled and a little embarrassed as he quickly found his composure again, "Just… My scars. They're sensitive."
Oh. Kana nodded in silent understanding – scars were an inevitable part of a shinobi's life, where not having them meant you either were a wet-behind-the-ears genin straight out of the academy, or you were exceedingly skilled at defensive maneuvers. Most ninja had one particular scar that bothered them throughout their lives, either itching or feeling tender, including herself. Psychosomatic or not, it was an integral part of being a warrior.
She repositioned herself so that she was sitting on her knees before rolling down the high-waist of her shorts. Raido's eyes drifted down to the jagged scar that had been revealed, having only seen the discolored skin peeking out from the top of the black waistband. The result of a nasty training accident involved Hayate and Itachi, it ran from a few inches left her navel to wrap around to her back just past the curve of her flank.
"It's probably not the same," she murmured, eyes downcast and cheeks red, "But… I understand. To an extent, I mean…"
When he didn't respond, staying completely silent and keeping to himself, Kana realized she had offended him on a level she didn't think was possible, just short of blatantly making fun his disfigurement by comparing it to what he probably saw as a trivial nick, and quickly rolled up her shorts. As much as her cropped top and shorts made movement easy, Kana suddenly felt extremely exposed and had the desperate urge to flee back to her apartment. That had been the plan – if something went wrong then she would just leave.
"I'm sorry. I'll go –"
Familiar hands gently took hold of her waist while she jumped to her feet, the one on her scar running a thumb over the mauve flesh, and tugged her towards him. The gesture had startled her, though, and Kana tripped on her own ankle and would have tumbled to the floor in a tangle of limbs if Raido hadn't deftly maneuvered to catch her. She mumbled her thanks once her breath had returned as close to normal as it could with the tokujo wrapped around her body, and Raido leaned in to place a gentle kiss on her nose.
"Don't leave," he said in a low voice before brushing his lips against hers, "Don't hide from me."
The constant ball of stress that sat in her stomach uncoiled at his words. Kana practically melted into him, returning his affection as best as she could, as one of Raido's strong arms looped around her waist and pulled her against his impossibly warm body, the other cupping the side of her face to deepen the kiss.
Her body was lifted off of the floor so that only the sides of her knees rested against the wood, and Kana was acutely aware of the fact that she was entirely relying on Raido to support her weight even as she wrapped her own arms around his shoulders. Upon remembering how he reacted to being grabbed, she carefully redirected her hand to rest between his shoulder blades.
Even teeth nipped at her bottom lip with a husky groan as the kiss quickly transitioned into something rough, frantic – Kana gasped and slid her knees along the floor so that she was able to kneel properly, using the floor as leverage to push herself closer to the man, shaking hands unfastening the belt he wore and swiftly pulling it out of the denim loops and to the floor. She broke the embrace to allow Raido's hands to slide her turtleneck up over her head, immediately wrapping his arms around her body again to lift her off of the floor as he stood, one hand snaking around to the back of her thigh and hooking it around his hips.
Almost as soon as she had wrapped her legs around him, Kana was pinned against the wall with Raido's lips latched to her throat hungrily, trailing hard open-mouthed kisses along her skin that made her head swim. The only thing she could hear was the sound of fabric rustling and Raido's heavy, harsh breathing that heated her skin beneath his parted lips. Her hands clutched the black fabric around his shoulders desperately in an attempt to pull him impossibly closer, the building need throwing any coherent thought out of her mind as she tilted her head back to expose more of her neck to Raido.
Kana felt his teeth bite down on the tender flesh just below her ear just as his hands slid down to her rear, grinding his hips against hers with a groan – Kana felt a tremor run through her body and made another small mewling sound, snaking one hand from the expanse of his shoulders to clumsily tug a portion of the fabric out of the pants they were tucked into. He took the hint and, with one final, desperate rub into her hips he let her slide down his body until she was standing, though Raido still kept her small body pinned against the wall with his own.
Kana didn't care, she pulled at the bottom of his shirt to untuck it, her hands finding the smooth skin that was hidden beneath it. His body was warm, like an inferno was raging beneath his skin, and Raido gasped at the sensation of her cold fingers as they slid upwards. A voice in the back of her head told her to slow things down, that he had made it abundantly clear that he was insecure about his scars, but seeing his clothed chest rising and falling in front of her face as he panted noisily, his heavy lidded eyes looking down at her in a desperate expression, Kana realized there was no way she was going to be able to stop now and decided to just make the conscious effort to skirt around the left half of his body.
With her fingers scaling the length of his torso, she stood on the tips of her toes to meet Raido's slightly swollen lips in another hurried, passionate kiss. He groaned into her mouth when her teeth pulled at his bottom lip, the soft pink flesh feeling smooth and warm between her lips as she sucked on it. The man placed his forearm against the wall behind her for support, the other sliding to the back of her head to fist her hair roughly. Kana returned his aggressiveness as she hungrily kissed his neck, biting and sucking, feet solidly planting on the ground as she moved down towards his chest. Raido's grip loosened on her hair, simply holding her head against her body as it cupped the base of her head.
"I… Kana…" he muttered, his low voice rumbling in his broad chest, "I… Hnng," his words were cut off when her tongue swirled around a pebble-hard nipple, using her teeth to pull it gently. He moaned again when he realized that even though she kept one hand on his chest to stabilize herself, and to make sure that too much of the shirt wasn't raised, the other had continued its venture downward and lingered at the top of his pants, her index finger tugging gently at the top button.
She heard his breathing hitch when the top button popped open, and he rolled his hips forward so that his groin rubbed into her body – the movement caused Kana's hand to slide downwards and get pinned between their hips, where she could feel the hard bulge between his legs.
It was very warm, almost hot to the touch, and firmer than she thought it would be. She realized that Raido's harsh breathing had stopped completely as he held it in anticipation, so she experimentally angled her hand to the side, cupping her fingers around the length and giving it a tender squeeze. A soft, startled grunt escaped his lips and Kana squeezed the clothed erection again before rubbing it in a simple up and down rhythm as she desperately tried to emulate what she could remember from Icha Icha.
Raido shuddered beneath her hands and released a strained moan into her hair as his breathing finally returned in ragged, shallow pants; she realized that he was holding himself back, gauging her reactions and allowing her to take control of the situation, and noted that his level of self control was very impressive as she looked up into his face. He looked almost to be in pain – eyes screwed shut and mouth open, struggling to regulate his breathing.
When Kana's hand slipped under the band of his pants, her fingers passing through the neatly trimmed hair to wrap around the base of Raido's burning erection, his eyes snapped open the same moment his penis twitched in her palm, and the man swiftly removed his hand from the nape of her neck to firmly grasp her wrist, holding it in place.
The suddenness of his movement startled Kana and alarm flashed through her body – had she done something wrong?
"Do you want this?" he whispered huskily, looking down at her with an unreadable, intense gaze.
'No, I know what that look is.'
It was the same look he gave her every time he was aware that another bar patron was drunk enough to start making advances towards her, a silent promise to get her out of an unpleasant situation if she made it clear that she needed help. Even though they were alone in the privacy of Raido's apartment, with no drunken shinobi around to harass her, he was giving her that same cautious look.
The realization of what was happening hit her like a ton of bricks – she wanted this. This entire time she only wanted to envelop herself in his body, to feel him hold her as tight as possible; Kana wanted – no, needed – him and the comfort he provided. It had been so long since she had allowed anyone but Neji or Lee to even lay a hand on her that her skin felt parched and in need of physical affection.
But, at the same time, she was frightened. Kana was terrified of what it meant to expose herself to someone like that, both emotionally and physically, and wasn't sure if she wanted to bolt for the door or throw herself into Raido's arms. Just as there was something calming about just his presence, the feeling of his arms wrapped around her made her feel safer than Kana had felt since moving out of the barracks.
She felt her throat tighten, her breathing quickening into painful, ragged gasps as conflicted panic set in. Raido released her, pushing himself away from the wall, and held his hands up in front of her like one would with an injured wild animal. "It's okay," he assured her, "We can stop. It's over. Do you want to leave?"
Cursing him for being so damn understanding, Kana folded her arms over her chest, which was only covered by her athletic bra, and shrunk back into the wall as if she could somehow disappear into it. The wall insisted on being a solid piece of concrete that refused to accept her trembling body as a part of it, so she swallowed dryly against the growing lump in her throat and forced her breathing to even out. It required Kana to take a deep breath that she held until her lungs felt it was about to burst but, as she released it in a steady sigh, she found that both her heart rate and her breathing had fallen down to a normal pace.
Panic attack averted, she looked up at Raido and tried to not physically flinch at the worried, penitent look he was giving her.
"I'm sorry –"
She stopped when the tokujo shook his head hard enough for his loose spikes to shake, "Don't apologize. You have nothing to apologize for," he said firmly.
Even if it was meant to be comforting, it only made Kana feel worse. She struggled to find the words to explain how she felt though, the more she struggled, the more distant a proper explanation seemed to get, like a paper caught in a strong breeze. Why was it so difficult for her to confide in others?
No, the question wasn't why. The kunoichi was entirely aware of why she was such a mess – the question was how Kana had managed to allow it to get to the point to where she felt like expressing her thoughts to anyone outside of Neji and Guy was like undergoing the chunin exams with two severed legs and a broken arm with no teammates to support you.
Raido took a hesitant step forward and held out a hand in silent invitation; they both sighed heavily when Kana pushed off of the wall to wrap her arms around his torso. As he tightly embraced her, she realized he smelled like wood and musk under the scent of whatever body wash he had used in his shower earlier. It was a comforting smell – he smelled warm and inviting, like the Hidden Leaf itself, and the intensely tight muscles in Kana's back eased as she allowed herself to be enveloped by the only person in years that made her feel safe and completely at ease.
"Above all else, you're my friend," he murmured, "That's more important to me than what my dick wants, alright?"
The kunoichi buried her face in Raido's chest in both shame for losing her cool and in a need to be closer to him. He responded by tightening the arms around her shoulders and resting his cheek on the top of her head.
"I… I don't know how to…" Kana sighed again while gathering her thoughts, "I'm not good talking to people I haven't known since I was a child. So… If I say something…"
"Quit worrying about upsetting me," she heard him echo in a quiet, friendly voice before stepping back to nod towards the couch, "Though I would like to sit down."
The kunoichi hummed in a wordless agreement, her own body feeling sore from all of the running done on her mission, and followed him to the couch. When Raido dropped down onto the cushions with his legs stretched over the coffee table she had half a mind to sit on the other end like she had earlier but, given the circumstances, Kana decided it wouldn't be too uncomfortable to sit close to him.
Raido's arms folded over his chest and his head dropped back to rest on the back of the sofa while patiently waiting for the jonin to start talking. While the expression he wore was somewhat expectant, it appeared less like he wanted her to rush to the point, and more like he was simply curious to hear what she had to say. When everyone else, especially Kotetsu, insisted that Kana pour her heart out and explain everything in detail, it was nice to have someone that was willing to slow down and wait.
Over the course of a couple of hours the two sat on the sofa and talked about everything that came to mind. Raido shared the story of how he lost both of his parents to the Nine-Tails over a decade ago, how he was forced to stay out of the fight due to the order given by the Hokage prohibiting younger shinobi from entering battle. It prompted Kana to talk about what it was like to basically raise Neji, who had also lost both of his parents before the age of five and having been forsaken by the rest of his family, and how it wasn't until Lee entered the picture that Kana finally let someone new in. They shared a good laugh when she explained that the reason she had grabbed his face was only out of habit born from years of dealing with the energetic genin.
It wasn't until Raido asked about her own family that she admitted to some of the more grotesque and secret rituals that the Shimi Clan participated in, including forcing Kana to murder her parents in what was a fruitless attempt at unlocking the other half to her coveted advanced bloodline trait. While clearly disquieted, it was obvious that Raido was disgusted with the rituals themselves rather than her actions. He admitted to hearing rumors about what went on within the compound but didn't fully believe them due to how completely outlandish they were.
On the note of rumors, Kana talked about Itachi, as difficult as it was, and how the loss of her best friend prompted her to close away from everyone. She explained how it was difficult to open up to anyone now that she had the ingrained fear of them being taken away at any moment, or them turning out to be a traitor, and he only nodded in silent understanding during the story. On a side note, she clarified that the reason she had panicked earlier was because years of self-induced isolation had resulted in her desperate for that kind of affection while simultaneously being afraid of feeling vulnerable.
He empathized with the feeling, elucidating the story of his scars, which came from a mission that went south due to a rogue shinobi on their team during the Third Shinobi World War. He had been tortured with fire jutsus and a unique ice-style kekkei genkai before a rescue squad came for him. If it hadn't been for Genma and Hayate he probably would have done the same thing, but was still cautious about letting people into his life after the war. In a side note of his own he said that he hadn't felt offended earlier by the scar comparison, he was just surprised that Kana was able to comfortably display it like that, as opposed to wanting to hide it like he did his own, and wasn't sure how to respond.
Raido then inquired about the "Kids" mentioned earlier, asking if Sasuke was one of them, and all Kana could do was nod tearfully. When she had regained her composure she explained how Sasuke had refused to find himself in her presence, but she still felt it was her duty to the memory of his mother and Shisui, who was also extremely fond of the child, to make sure he was taken care of.
It was as if an invisible weight had been lifted from her chest when they eventually fell silent, finally out of relevant memories and topics to share. They sat side-by-side, with Raido's arm slung around her shoulder and Kana's knees drawn up to her chest, for what felt like ages, simply appreciating each others' presence.
"Are you tired?" he asked when she stretched out her legs with a satisfied sound.
Kana shook her head and let her head fall back onto her shoulder, "Do you want me to go so you can get to bed?"
There was a brief pause where Raido looked as if he was mulling something over before he looked back down with a shy expression. "I wouldn't mind if you stayed the night, actually…"
Stayed the night? She blinked at him with what she hoped wasn't a look that betrayed just how stunned his response left her feeling. After three months of living in her own apartment Kana was still adjusting to sleeping outside of the barracks; would she be able to sleep in a bed that was owned by someone else entirely?
Her cheeks flushed at the thought. What if he just meant he'd like her to be in the apartment? There was no reason for her to just assume that he'd want to sleep anywhere other than on the couch in his living room.
What if he wanted to share a bed, though? Kana felt heat flare in her cheeks at the thought. She had slept with Raido before on missions, usually around a fire or huddled for warmth with their squad mates, but sleeping in his bed with him next to her? It was so… Intimate.
Oh, gods, what if he wanted sex? What if she ruined his night by having a nightmare? What if she woke up in the middle in the night and thought he was an enemy and tried to kill him? What if-
A warm, calloused hand covered hers, which had begun to almost violently twist and twirl locks of hair into a frizzy mess.
"I'm not trying to impose," Raido said quietly, "If you aren't comfortable with staying, I understand. If you want to stay, I won't try anything," his eyes drifted up to stare at the television, which was still muted and was now running some sort of infomercial, "I just-"
"Can we sleep at my place?" she cut in before he had the chance to explain what she already knew. Part of why Kana insisted on staying in the barracks for so long, other than the security of living in what was literally a secret hideout built into a mountain, was the comfort of knowing that you weren't sleeping alone. After spending however many days sleeping in the cold dirt with one eye open, there was something about sharing your space with someone you trusted that made sleep come much, much easier.
Raido's eyes widened infinitesimally in surprise, "Is that what you want?"
Jesus, was he taking politeness lessons from Genma? If she wasn't cool with it, she wouldn't have offered. Instead of responding with something snarky, though, Kana simply stood from the sofa and extended her hand like he had done earlier, saying, "I don't think I could sleep in a strange bed… But, it'd… Be nice… I mean, to have a friend to be with…"
The man offered another one of his quiet, gentle smiles and took her hand.
That night, with Raido's gentle snoring just inches away, Kana slept the best she had in a long time.
Note: So I actually had most of this written ages ago (Hence the difference in writing, if you noticed it) and wasn't sure when I was gonna post it. I knew that I wanted to post the first night Rai and Kana actually hooked up (Even if they didn't go all the way), but didn't know if I would include it was a flashback, or a V-day special, or whatever. I figured since White Day is coming up I'll post it here as its own little standalone entry.
Soooo... *shrug* Here it is lol. I think Kana's sixteen, or recently turned seventeen, here. I never really cared to think that part through.