There is alcohol and given the celebratory state of things and of everyone in the Pit, I help myself to a cup. Tobias keeps his hand on my lower back as we walk through the crowds of people. I look at him. "Hold off on drinking that," I tell him. he looks at me, his eyebrows coming together on his forehead and I can't help but smile. I take his hand and lead him up the steps toward the spot over the Chasm where he had taken me the first time we kissed. I can hear him mumbling to himself a little bit from behind me and I wonder if it's because he knows where we're going. I think that if he had any doubts of whether or not I was telling the truth, this little adventure of ours was convincing enough. I'm careful to place my feet on the rocks that lead into the small cave before jumping onto the flat surface. I turn to look ta him to make sure he's right behind me before I sit down. He joins me and I take a sip from my cup and smile as he stares at me with that incredulous expression.

"What?" I ask him, biting my lower lip.

"You're just..." he pauses. "You never cease to amaze me."

"Am I supposed to stop amazing you?" I ask him.

He shakes his head at me. "No," he says. "Don't stop."

I smile at him before closing the distance between us and gently brushing my lips against his. His hand rests on my hip, his fingertips brushing against my skin under my jacket and I shiver at his touch. I let out a sigh before pulling away and resting back against the wall, taking another drink. He looks at me, studying my face.

"Are you okay?" he asks me, moving over to sit next to me. he takes my hand and runs a finger down my palm and I feel him everywhere as I rest my head on his shoulder. I nod. "You sure?"

I look up at him. "Yeah," I tell him. "I'm definitely good."

He smirks and kisses my head. "So this place..."

I hold my breath, waiting for him to continue. I love him, this Tobias, but I also love the one that I lost when I woke up in the hospital a few days ago. It's ridiculous, they should be the same people, but they're just...not. There are subtle differences. And I know that it's not fair of me to feel that way, but I fear there will always be this part of me that is hoping for him to come back to me.

"I brought you here?" he asks me.

I feel him looking at me, so I nod, and meet his eyes. "You did."

His eyes hold mine for a few moments and then he smiles at me. "Good."

I let the breath go and finish off what's in my cup, and the liquid warms my body. I nestle in closer to him and his wraps his arm around me, his hand resting on my waist. We sit together for a few moments without speaking with just the music from the Pit below blasting around us. He takes a breath and I feel my body tense because I know what that breath means.

"I'm sorry," he tells me.

"Why?" I ask.

"I wasn't there for you."

My body pulses and I look up at him. "What are you talking about?"

He sighs, licking his lips. "I wasn't around for you," he tells me. "I could have prevented this."

I pull away from him and stare up at him, shaking my head. "What?" I ask. "When?"

He lets out a sigh and closes his eyes, shaking his head not looking at me. His eyebrows come together on his head like he's confused or thinking too hard about something. My heart is pounding in my chest because I don't know what's going on and I don't know what he's saying. He's being the cryptic one now. I tug on his shirt. "Tobias."

He opens his eyes and looks at me, the expression gone from his face. "What's wrong?" he asks me.

I search his face for something, anything, but the moment is gone now. I shake my head. "Nothing," I say. My heart is still beating fast in my chest and I take a breath to try to calm it. "Should we head back to the room?" I ask, not waiting for an answer as I begin to leave the cave. I place my hand on the stone and look down to make sure I'm stepping on the correct foothold. I don't wait for him to follow me because I can't stop my heart from racing and I'm afraid that if he hears it, he'll ask questions...questions that I can't answer and questions that I don't wan to answer. I hear him call my name over the rushing water of the Chasm, and if he's yelling after me, then I should stop. So I do.

I rest my back against the wall and run my hands over my face to wipe away any trace of tension and hesitation. I look up when I hear his footsteps and he's staring at me, worried and I don't have anything to say. No explanation for running away. How can I tell him that I got my hopes up that I was getting Tobias back when he's standing in front of me now? How do I find the words to express myself when I know that saying anything will cause more tension between us than necessary. I don't want to make things worse for us. But that moment, above the Chasm...it was so close. He was there. I felt him.

"What's going on?" He asks me, his voice is low, so he steps in close to make sure that I hear him. My back is already against the wall so I have nowhere to go.

I swallow. "I'm fine," I say.

"That's not what I asked you," he says. I keep my eyes trained on the stop between his eyebrows, because I know that if I look at him, I won't be able to lie to him. "Tris."

His voice is soft and has that hint of yearning and it pulls my focus that I look into those dark blue eyes that are staring into mine, searching. "What is it?" I ask, my voice quiet.

He doesn't say anything for a few moments. The only thing that I can hear is my heart beating, it's made its way up into my ears and I've tuned out the music from the Pit. I swallow because the way he's staring at me causes my entire body to come alive and I don't know what to do. "Tris," he whispers my name again and then pulls me against him, burying his face in my neck. It isn't until I feel his shoulders begin to shake that I realize that he's crying. And that sends a pang to my chest. I don't know what's going on, but I throw my arms around him and close my eyes. He keeps murmuring my name and I don't know what to say or do. We stand like that in the hallway for a few minutes. His shoulders have stopped shaking, but he's still breathing heavily. He lifts his head and when he looks at me, my breath catches in my throat. Because the look on his face is so distraught that my entire body is in pain. Because I don't know what to do.

"Come with me," he says, taking my hand and leading my down the hallway. He doesn't speak until we get to his room...our room...and once we're inside, I slowly take off my jacket and move to hang it up in the locker. Tobias is sitting on the couch, not moving, not saying anything. So I go to him and unzip his jacket, pushing it off his shoulders. Once I move to go hang it up, he grabs my wrist and his thumb brushes against my skin. I have never seen him like this. And it scares me because I don't know what I can do for him to make this better.

So I don't go anywhere. I sit down next to him on the bed and leave his jacket in my lap. He takes a breath and looks at me. "Is this real?" he asks, his voice cracking on the last world.

"I don't understand," I say. I lift my hand and brush it against his cheek, using my thumb to brush away and leftover tears. He closes his eyes and sighs. "What's wrong?"

The corner of his mouth twitches upward and I watch him. He presses his cheek to my palm and run his hand up my arm. He opens his eyes and looks at me. "I am so sorry."

"Tobias please," I say, shaking my head. "Can you just give me a straight answer?"

He narrows his eyes at me. "You don't remember?"

"Tell me," I say. "Just so that we're on the same page." I don't understand what is going on right now. He's confusing me and it's frustrating and I just want to know what's going on in that brain of his.

"When I left the Bureau to come to the city," Tobias says and my heart soars. I gasp as he speaks and I feel the sting of the promise of tears in my eyes. But I don't speak, I can't. "I left you behind and so it's my fault that you died. This wouldn't be happening." He lifts his hand and brushes my hair behind my ear and I bring my lips in to keep myself from crying. I swallow. "If I hadn't left..." he pauses. "We could have had these past few days." I suck on the inside of my cheek, tears rolling down my cheeks. This can't be real. This has to be a dream, right? "So, I'm sorry. I wish that I could have remembered-"

I don't let him finish. I throw myself at him, my lips finding his in haste and we become a messy tangle of limbs and moans. He looks down at me and I can't stop the tears down, I choke out a laugh mixed with a sob and he kisses me.

"I'm here," he whispers against my lips. "It's me. I'm here."