We lay there for hours, my head resting on his chest, his arms wrapped around my body holding me close to him. We had both cried and we were both amazed that this had happened to us. I couldn't believe that he was here...that he remembered. I had thought that that wish was far fetched and that because David didn't want me to have what I wanted, I wasn't ever going to get it. But here I was with Tobias and he knew me. He knew every part of me like I knew every part of him. His fingers are drawing shapes on my back and I smile against his skin. I pull back a bit to look up at him and he's staring down at me, his expression full of awe. I can't imagine what he went through. I had died. It wasn't just me getting shot and then waking up in the infirmary. David had killed me. That was the fact of the matter. And Tobias had to deal with that. At least I know that he didn't have to do it on his own. Christina had helped him and I'm sure Caleb did as well. But me...I was alone when I woke up and I had thought that I had lost everything.

"What's on your mind?" he asks me, brushing his fingertips across my cheek, that half smile on his lips.

I lift my shoulders in a shrug. "I just can't believe that you're here," I say. "You. Actually here."

He tucks my hair behind my ear. "I can't believe you're here," he counters. "I thought that I had lost you forever."

I move my head up and kiss him softly. "What..." I pause. "What was it like?" I ask. "Dealing with...you know?"

He pauses and I regret asking the question. Of course he wouldn't want to think about that. I had left him more times that I should have. But the last time, that was permanent. Death is a fixed thing and there is supposed to be no going back from that. Ever. At all. But by some means, I am here. If the roles had been reversed, I don't know if I would have been able to deal with it. The thought of losing Tobias, it would have probably driven me mad.

"You don't have to answer that," I tell him quickly.

But he shakes his head. "No, it's fine," he says. He sits up and leans against the wall and I move with him taking his hand, lacing our fingers together. I look at him. "I didn't handle it well." I bite my lower lip. It just now occurred to me that I probably don't want to hear this. Hearing the way my death broke him...isn't something that I should hear. Especially when it was my fault. "I shut people out. I blamed your brother and told him that he should have died instead." I keep my gaze focused on him, willing myself not to look away from him. He needs this support right now and I have to give it to him. "I even..." he stops and closes his eyes tightly. I see his lower lip quiver so I reach out and run my fingers across it to stop it from moving. I don't want to make him cry again.

"It's okay," I tell him. "You can stop."

"No," he says. He swallows and then opens his eyes to look at me. "I was going to take the serum."

I stare at him. "The memory serum?" I ask, my voice incredulous. "Why?"

His gaze softens. "Do you still not realize the effect that you have on me?" he asks.

I feel my chest tighten and I swallow. "I guess not," I say slowly.

"You were gone," Tobias continues. "And not just gone like you had gone to Erudite to sacrifice yourself. Because even with that I had a chance of saving you...stopping you. This time...you were already gone. You had made that decision without me. I couldn't...didn't want to live without you."

Guilt spreads through my body at his admission. I never let myself fully realize the way that Tobias felt. How it consumed him. Because if I admitted that, then I admitted that it consumed me too. And I never wanted to be that girl, whose entire life was changed by a boy. But I was...and he had. He had changed everything about me. He is everything to me. "What..." I pause. "What stopped you?"

"Christina did," he says. "She reminded me, in my darkest hour, that turning into that person wasn't something you would have liked to see of me."

I keep my eyes trained on him and nod. "She'd be right," I say.

He nods. "I know," he sighs. "I hate that I didn't know you when you woke up," he says. "That I wasn't there." He runs a hand through his hair. "I was so confused from the moment you walked into the Pit. Like there was a part of me that knew you, but I didn't know how. And it scared me. And I didn't like being scared. So I pushed those feelings away and I turned on you. When you needed me."

"You didn't know me," I say. "There's nothing that can be done about that."

"I was cruel to you."

I shake my head. "No," I say. "Cruel would have been not listening to me or giving me a chance. But you did and you believed in me. You didn't even know me, and you trusted me almost instantaneously. That's not cruel, Tobias. Far from it."

He smiles at me. "What about you, though?" he sighs. "You were strong. Brave."

"What do you mean? When?"

"When you woke up and everything had changed. Everything being different," he says. "Until Uriah showed up, you didn't have anyone. You also trusted me, Tris. Me, who knew nothing about you except your name and had a gut feeling about you. Me, who was dating Christina...you just...how did you do it?"

I make a face. "It was hard," I say. "I didn't ...know what I was getting myself into. And I figured that if you didn't know me then it would have been okay that you were with one of my friends. But this Christina...this version of her, I don't know her. She's not the same."

"I just want to say though," Tobias says. "How glad I am that your "relationship" with Peter didn't last long."

I close my eyes. "Oh god," I say bringing my hands up to my face. "That was a sick joke right there. It was so bizarre."

"I have to admit, I was jealous seeing him kiss you," he says. "At the time though I had no idea why."

I shake my head. "I was so surprised that I just let him do it," I say. "I was in a daze. And also trying to recover from the news of you and Chris."

He pulls me against him and into his lip. "Well you don't have to worry about that anymore," he says pressing his lips to my temple. I close my eyes and breathe in his scent. "Though there is something else."

I pull back and look at him. "What is it?" I ask.

"We slept together," he says.

I nod. And then I blush. "Yeah," I say biting my lip. "Not really technically me sleeping with someone else because it was still you..."

He smiles at me. "I'm not mad," he says. "A little jealous. Which is weird because it was me."

I bring a hand to my mouth to quiet my chuckle. "You're not serious."

"Totally serious," he answers. "I mean...I know I shouldn't be, because you weren't with anyone else...technically," he pauses. "But..."

I shake my head. "No, I understand," I say. "I just figured that this was the life I was put into that that was it. I was in love with you and you were in love with me...I think."

"You think right," He says. "It's weird to still have that mindset of Four in my head when I'm...me. But yeah," he says taking my hand and brushing his lips against my fingertips. "He was in love with you."

I can't stop my smile because it makes me feel really good. He and I are supposed to be together and this...test or whatever it is just proved that. "You mean you," I say.

He shakes his head. "I mean him. But I'm in love with you too," he tells me.

I grin. "Well not that I need to tell you or anything," I say before leaning in and kissing him. "But I'm in love with you, too."

"Mmm," he murmurs against my lips. "I had my suspicions," he teases me. "But it's always nice to hear."

"I love you," I whisper again.

"Stop talking," He says before kissing me again and this time, I stop talking.