What Hope Gave Back - Chapter Eight
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The morning was late by the time Peesh finally woke from the deepest sleep she'd had in years. The sky here was a crisp, bright blue that shone a warming light through her window. She blinked in the bright light, caught in that moment between sleep and wakefulness.
"Daddy," she murmured and stopped mid roll. Here, in the comfort of her bed, the events of the previous day seemed like a dream, but, as consciousness returned, so too did the possibility that it had been only a dream.
Her eyes shot open and she sat up suddenly, fear gripping her. She'd dreamed about her father, about all her family, many times, but this had been different. This felt so real and she wasn't sure she could take it if it wasn't.
Her eyes scanned the room wildly - and stopped, as she found what she was looking for. Sprawled awkwardly on a small sofa at the far end of the room, was her father. He was fast asleep, his head on the arm of the chair at an angle that couldn't possibly be comfortable, his long head tail draped over one shoulder. He'd taken off his ring and was wearing simple clothes, much like the ones he'd worn on Astonia. His feet were bare, his boots discarded on the floor.
Her frantically beating heart started to calm and she scrambled off the bed and dashed across the room, throwing herself onto her father without hesitation, too relieved to be careful.
Walker gasped, woken suddenly by the impact to his middle. "What?" He tried to sit up, but found it impossible with the small arms wrapped firmly around him. "Oh..." His expression softened as he wrapped his daughter in an embrace.
"I thought you were a dream," she mumbled against his chest.
"Most certainly not," he assured her. "Though I must say I am relieved to be reminded of it too."
He felt her smile. "We will get used to having each other again, soon you will stop waking in fear – as will I." He looked down at her, still attached to him. "We will rebuild our lives together."
"Yes... yes, we will." She hugged him hard, smiling now. "I look forward to it." A buzz at the door made her jump and look up, though there was no fear. Not here. "Who's there?"
"Breakfast!" Kyle's voice replied, sounding amused. "I assume you're hungry..."
Her stomach gurgled in response and Walker laughed. "Indeed we are, Kyle!" He eased her off of him gently, standing and stretching, trying to get his back and neck to straighten up after all night at odd angles. Even his head tail felt awkward.
"You shouldn't have slept on the sofa," Peesh said, sounding disapproving as she watched him try to walk to the door. "It's not good for you."
Bro'Dee stopped, looking back at her. "You sound like your mother," he murmured quietly, before opening the door.
His words shocked Peesh and for a moment she didn't notice Kyle entering with a large tray, so laden that he was using a constructed butler to hold it. (The butler looked vaguely familiar to Walker, though he couldn't say why.)
"Hey, Peesh. You Okay?" Kyle asked, frowning. He'd expected a little more excitement.
She shook the moment off and smiled. "Oh! Yes, I'm fine... Daddy said something... Is that breakfast?"
"Certainly is! I hope you're feeling adventurous, chef was a bit busy so I made most of it myself..." He grinned. "Inexpertly prepared Earth food... Good luck."
"I'm sure it is delicious, Kyle!" Walker smiled warmly. "Thank you. That was very thoughtful."
"No problem... Well... I'll let you eat. Maybe see you later? I'm staying another few days... need to make sure Kilowog and Arkillo don't kill each other."
"Probably wise," Bro'Dee agreed. "Those two will never get along."
"Kilowog is bossy," Peesh grumbled, lifting a plate cover off and inhaling the sweet smell. "What's this?"
"Ah... Yes. Yes he is," Kyle grinned. He knew Kilowog's dislike - to put it mildly - of Arkillo was partly why Peesh didn't seem keen on him. It was a well-founded and mutual dislike, but Peesh didn't know that. Still, give it time – Kilowog took some warming up to under even the best of circumstances. "Those are pancakes. Blueberry. At least I think those were blueberries..." He grinned.
Peesh took a bite and her eyes lit up. "They're good!" she mumbled through a large mouthful.
Kyle laughed and flew up to the window. "Enjoy! I'm going to check on your friend!" He waved at her as he left, flying towards the heavily-guarded room Arkillo had been 'offered.'
Peesh watched him go, before taking another large bite of the pancake. The past few years had absolved her of any pickiness regarding food - but it was good. "Mmm... Yummy. I think he cooks better than he thinks!"
Walker smiled. "He is always far too hard on himself. But he will like it if you tell him that next time you meet."
"Oh, I will then." Sitting down at the table, she poured them both a glass of orange liquid, hesitating when it reminded her of things she'd been made to do, but carrying on because she wanted to do it for her father, not because she was being forced.
"Daddy?"
"Hmmm?" He replied, his mouth full.
"Are we... Going to stay here?" She felt safe here, happy. Protected.
"If that is your wish... I'm am certain Mogo will not mind in the slightest." He put fruit on both of their plates. "I do not mind either." Certainly it would make his task on Elpis difficult, but he would find a way to make it work.
"You... Where do you live?"
Walker poured himself tea before answering. "Currently a planet called Elpis. But I am it's only inhabitant."
"Why?" She asked, poking at something on one of the plates. "You don't need that much space."
He chuckled. "No, I... It's complicated..." Well, he supposed it wasn't that complicated, but the last thing he wanted to do at this stage was scare her. "More Blue Lanterns are needed. For that we need a base and I have been working on that. But there is no rush, we can live here."
"You don't mind?" She asked, only slightly surprised. "What about the others you said you need?"
"I will find a solution. Your happiness comes first, daughter."
"Daddy..."
"Do not worry about it, certainly not for now." He smiled. "We will work it out. I promise."
Peesh looked unconvinced, but nodded. She trusted him. She always had.
Xxxxxxxx
Two weeks passed in blissful peace. After moving to their own set of rooms, father and daughter started the long process of getting to know each other again. Peesh finally opened up to her father about the things she had endured at the hand of the slavers and, though there were many tears, it was the start of her healing.
In turn, he told her about how he had lost the other Blue Lanterns, how they had sacrificed themselves to allow him to live and why he was committed to rebuilding on Elpis. Eventually.
Each truth brought them a little closer and Saint Walker felt the familiar glow of hope as his family slowly rebuilt itself.
Kyle had left but returned again, bringing Hal with him, as well as the results of a rather indulgent gift buying spree.
"I told him you likely weren't all that bothered about things but he didn't listen as usual!" Hal laughed as he handed over several bags and boxes to a stunned Peesh.
"He means well," Bro'Dee chuckled, watching Peesh go through the boxes. Their culture was not a materialistic one, but she lived in a much wider community now and there was no harm in letting her enjoy it. He certainly enjoyed her delighted expression as she pulled out clothes, books and, right at the end, a soft, blue, velveteen rabbit.
"I told him you were too old for those," Hal said, sighing. "I..."
But he stopped, because Peesh was already hugging Kyle. "It's so cute! What is it?"
Kyle grinned victoriously at Hal. "It's a rabbit. Or at least, a representation of one. Not really accurate but popular amongst kids at home."
"I love it," she declared. "Thank you, Kyle!" She hugged him again, her big eyes bright. Toys like this reminded her of home, given with love and a small comfort in the night.
"Thank you..." Walker said quietly, when Peesh was out of earshot. "It has been a long time since she was so thoroughly indulged. She deserves a little spoiling."
"No problem, Bro'Dee," Kyle smiled. "I just figured she probably didn't really have anything that was really hers. Thought she might like some stuff to call her own."
Walker nodded. "I had intended to get her some things, but you have done a splendid job. Certainly the rabbit is proving popular - most her age have outgrown such things but she needs a little more comfort I think."
"Well, can hardly blame her for that." Kyle replied. "Besides, I've seen Hal's quarters - he *still* has an old, battered teddy bear. He's bad at hiding it."
"Watch what you say, Kyle," Hal said warningly. "I've seen what *you've* kept..."
"Perhaps you can all play together," Walker teased, stepping away quickly from Kyle's playful whack.
"Careful!" Kyle laughed, but he was genuinely happy to spend time with Peesh. He knew what it was like to get someone back - the sheer joy it filled you with. When that someone was your own child, it had to be even more incredible. Seeing the two so happy, it was enough to fill him with joy too.
Though he still had worries. He and Hal hadn't just gone shopping – they'd spent time investigating the Red Lantern sightings that were still being reported. It made him uneasy that, by the time they got there, they'd found no sign of any Red Lanterns. In fact, in the time it had taken them to leave, go to Earth and return, there hadn't been a single sighting. It was though they'd completely vanished. It made Kyle nervous, but if he couldn't find them there wasn't much he could do.
Xxxxxx
There were still dark moments for Saint Walker and Peesh, despite the joy. Nightmares were common for the young Astonian and many mornings found her having abandoned her bed in favour of dragging herself and the toy rabbit in with her father. Being near him eased the night terrors, whether they came from losing her family or being in captivity. When they happened, she curled up next to him and he wound his head tail around her, keeping contact and chasing the darkness away.
Sometimes she woke screaming, the nightmare too vivid, too real. She'd sit in her bed, frozen and unable to move, the scenes playing out in front of her eyes even after she woke. On those nights he picked her up and settled her in his bed himself, sitting up with her and bathing her in soft blue light until the nightmares ceased and she could rest again.
In that way, she began to heal and, though he knew she still hadn't told him everything, he knew she would, in time. And there was no doubt in his mind that her happiness was genuine – if not quite complete yet. But they could work on that.
One morning after a particularly terrible night, he awoke to find her gone. That was unusual. She didn't tend to venture out alone that much and especially not after nightmares.
"Peesh?" He called out, in case she was nearby. There was no response so he checked the other rooms, the balcony and then the long corridor. Still there was no sign of her, so he flew out of the building, to see if she was just outside.
Concern nagged at him when she wasn't in the gardens either. "Mogo?" He asked, hoping the planet was listening.
"Good morning, Saint Walker," the response came.
"Good morning, Mogo." The swiftness of the reply was a relief. "Have you seen my daughter? I cannot find her."
"She is by the river," the surprisingly soft voice replied. "You know the one."
"Yes." He'd spent many hours there. "Thank you, Mogo."
"My pleasure, Saint Walker."
Walker knew a proper talk with Mogo was overdue, but he also knew the planet understood why he had been preoccupied of late. Still, he vowed to make time soon. Friends were as important as family, if the distinction was worth anything.
He flew on to the river, remembering how he'd been on foot the last time he came here, ringless, hopeless and depressed. How things had changed.
It wasn't long before he found her, sitting hunched by the water. He landed a short distance away and walked over, so as not to startle her. As he approached, he could see that she had one foot hovering above the water.
"Peesh?"
She tensed, then relaxed. "Daddy. I'm sorry I... I should have said where I'd gone."
"Do not worry. Are you well?" It seemed evident that she was not, but he gave her the chance to tell him.
She hesitated, before slowly moving her foot back to the grass. "I had the drowning nightmare last night. I haven't had that one for a while. I... I came here after to... Try and make it go, like I always do." Her head dropped. "I can never get my foot in the water."
"There's no rush," Bro'Dee replied, sitting next to her. "No one would fault you for a most justified fear." If he was honest with himself, seeing her that close to water wasn't doing much for his nerves either.
"There is to me! Daddy, I... I want to take a bath and not be scared. And I want to put my feet in the water and feel the fish. I used to love that." She paused, gathering her courage. "I don't even like showers. I got caught in a storm once and I..." she shuddered. "Soranik gave me a special cloth, so I don't have to get my face wet when I wash."
He couldn't quite hide his shock at the depth of her fear. Why hadn't he seen it these past weeks? Why hadn't anyone? He would have thought Arkillo might have picked up on it, he usually did. It seemed so obvious now that she had admitted it. Without hesitation, he put his arms around her. "Oh Peesh... I wish you had told me. We can get through this together. I can help you... My ring can help you. If you will let it."
"How?" She asked quietly. There hadn't yet been much talk of his rings abilities.
"These rings heal. If you let it, the blue light will not make you forget, but it will take the fear, turn it into a memory that doesn't hurt."
"Did... Did it work for you?" She asked, unsure.
"Getting the ring was what helped me," he explained gently. "The loss of you all, it hurt me deeply, filled me with rage. But I kept fighting, because I wanted it to have reason, to not be in vain. I wanted to make you all proud. The ring gave me the ability to do that. Like me, you will never forget. Will never not miss them. But with the light of hope, you can find comfort in the memories, instead of pain."
"I like the sound of that," she whispered, resting her head on his shoulder. "Will it hurt?"
He smiled, kissed the top of her head. "No."
He knew that she might find the experience a surprise, but at least he could promise her that much. Rising, Bro'Dee pulled her up with him. "All you need to do is stand there. The ring and I will do the rest."
She took a moment and then nodded. When he was sure she was ready, his ring began to glow. The light focused on her...
And then the ground rocked beneath their feet and Mogo's voice cried out urgently.
"Saint Walker, move!"
He turned, but was not expecting the blast of energy directed his way. Quickly he dodged, but not quite enough and he was knocked off his feet, away from his daughter and into the river.
He heard her scream as he went under.
Xxxxxx